Don't own Big Bang Theory. Attempting Talk like a Pirate Day Challenge.

"Oh captain, it appears we have another soft belly on our scopes." First Mate Leonard Hofstadter spoke from his spot the poop deck.

"Ah, we do?" Captain Penny La 'Queen the fiercest buckaroo to ever set flight in the void.

"Aye, we do."

Penny got up to look at their scopes, it was indeed as her first mate said. But first before sinking her teeth into this juicy prize, make sure no big fish prowling about. It wouldn't do to have a naval ship ruin the Booty's day.

The captain smiled, "It appears this beauty is all alone, let's give her some company."

Leonard smiled, "Aye Captain."

The first mate turned to the rest of the crew, "Avast ye mates, let's fetch ourselves a prize. Master Fowler let's circle our prey."

A round of Ayes and Arrrs rolled over the command deck, Penny nodded before hitting the horn to engineering, "Mister Wolowitz give me a good burn."

"Aye oh cap-i-tan." Engineer Mate Howard Wolowitz was always a bit romantic.

"Helm bring use about three quarters, keep in their shadow." Ship Master Amy Fowler glanced back at her bestie with a grin, a fun day to be had.

The Harrington was making its way when the station master thought he saw something on the scopes, "Captain, I think we have company."

Captain Wiles, a rather round man was a company man and ever practical, "Increase speed, we will shake them.

The Harrington being a member of the Trade Commission was of course insured, but it was best not to incur the wrath of the profit minded Trade Commission. So it's goal was to simply avoid any possible altercations, maybe this was nothing but better safe. However this didn't sit well with the Booty or it's rather notorious captain.

"Miss Rostenkowski, take out their rudder."

Gunnery Mate Bernadette Rostenkowski grinned with a bit more pleasure than warranted, "AYE AYE CAPTAIN!"

Penny grinned as the gleeful blonde gunner lined up the Harrington and fired a solid salvo into the rear of the freighter. Her crew knew what they were doing, its how one becomes so feared and Penny watched as the rudder blew and the engines began to cool.

"Get them on the Horn."

Captain Wiles felt the Harrington shake as Lieutenant Mills exclaimed with great excitement, "They took out the engines, we are dead in the water."

Captain Wiles was agitated, "I can see that Lieutenant."

Lieutenant Mills saw their attackers registry, and filled with dread as the com horn went off, "It's the Booty."

Captain Wiles was a little pale as the Booty was well known but they never showed up in this sector before. He swallowed as the view screen was filled by a mane of golden hair and fierce eyes, the notorious and ruthless Penny La 'Queen. She smiled.

"Ahoy captain, we will be boarding shortly. I suggest you get your affairs in order, have your crew waiting unarmed. Play nice like and I won't have to get messy."

Captain Wiles swallowed, and before he could answer the horn was cut off. Penny turned to Leonard, "Prepare a boarding party. Master Fowler cast the yard lines and prepare the plank."

"Aye Captain."

The Booty swung around to the side of the Harrington, magnetic locks shoot out and start reeling in the ship as the hatchway extends forward. The two vessels couple as Penny, Leonard and a few buccaneers assemble. Captain Wiles and Lieutenant Mills, along with the rest of the crew waited for the plank to cycle. The door opened and the two captains met face to face, a tall lean blonde woman backed by a dozen armed ruffians standing in front of a fat blubbering fool with a weak cowardly crew.

Penny glared, "Your not groveling Captain."

"Ah?" Captain Wiles was confused and looked around.

BANG, Penny lowered her pistol as the fat company man dropped to the floor, a shocked Lieutenant Mills stared at his former captain. The rest of the crew were getting scared, they had all heard the rumors, which might not be so much rumors but truth.

"Congratulations on your promotion Lieutenant, or I should say Captain." Penny grinned as she leveled her pistol at now Captain Mills, who immediately dropped to his knees.

"Please don't kill me…"

Penny's crew laughed, "Good little man."

She turned to the rest of the Harrington crew, "The rest of you?"

The pirate crew spread out, raising their weapons. The Harrington crew glanced at each other, their old captain, their new captain and back at the pirates before dropping to their knees. Penny grinned and lowered her pistol.

"Aye, that's a good bunch of useless lubbers." She turned to Leonard, "Secure them."

Leonard nodded, "Aye Captain. Let's secure these squabs."

Penny turned to the other side, "Master Koothrappali."

The ships quartermaster, a small timid man ran up, "Aye Captain."

"Find out what our prize be carrying."

It was a good hour for the Booty's quartermaster to catalogue the Harington's manifesto and transferred to the Booty, in the mean time the now Captain Mills and his crew were tied up in a hold of their own ship guarded by a couple of Penny's crew. The notorious blonde captain and her first mate were having at the records and charts in the captain's cabin of the Harrington. When Master Koothrappali returned, he looked perplexed.

"What's wrong matey."

Rajesh handed his findings to Penny who looked through them, "Aye, this is a fine haul. So what be the problem Master Koothrappali?"

"Well Captain, there seems to be an overly complicated container in the forward hold."

"Complicated you say?"

Rajesh nodded, "Aye."

Penny nodded, "Get the Professor smartly now, we'll see what these things are. Come along then to the hold."

Rajesh quickly went to the Booty's plank, "Get the Professor!"

Master Fowler, who was standing at the other edge of the plank, "The captain wants the Professor."

Miss Rostenkowski heard next and looked through the grating, "CAP WANTS THE PROFESSOR!."

Amy shook her head, as below the voices echoed. Down below the chain of voices reached the professor, a learned man who had a reputation in the science community. One that would cause one to seek study and experimentation among the rift raft of space. Sheldon Cooper sat at his lab, everything in neat order and cleaned to obsession got up at the chorus of his name.

He pushed the horn, "May I remind you louts we have means for not straining our voices."

Sheldon grabs a few books and instruments, making his way up the stairs to the plank of the Booty and sees Rajesh, "Lead the way."

"Aye, follow me the captains waiting."

Penny and Leonard walked to the forward hull where this mysterious bounty was being held, which indeed it was. A container was sitting alone and isolated in the middle of the hold, which was odd because any empty space was profit lost. The container itself was person sized and area around it was cold, enough to form condensation.

"I hope your not touching anything?" Leonard and Penny turned around to Sheldon and Raj who showed up.

"Of course not Professor." Penny smiled and turned to the container, "This would be our mystery, would you be a darling and open it?"

Sheldon stepped up and started a precursory look, "Of course captain…."

Penny smiled, "Thanks Moonpie."

Sheldon looked irritated as Penny slyly smiled, "Well captain it appears you have a cryochamber, made to appears as a normal cargo, but of course anyone with the proper knowledge should know it is not. I am surprised Master Koothrappali realized something…"

Rajesh frowned, "Hey I know my stuff, besides it is isolated and cold, so…"

"Rudimentary observations, I'm sure Silus could figure that out."

Leonard sort of stepped between them, "Alright you louts, enough."

Penny smiled at the thought of Amy's monkey before turning to Sheldon, "You can get it open?"

Sheldon looked annoyed at being interrupted, "Of course, it's a wonder you lot get anything done without me."

Penny waved of the indignation of Leonard and Rajesh as Sheldon got to work, if it was a cryochamber it must be rather valuable, so the captain was intrigued as the professor worked on the package. If everything was running smoothly this would be the last bit, Penny was interrupted by a small hiss.

Sheldon stepped back as the container split in half, "There you go captain."

"What do we have…"

The container opened and to everyone's shock there was a little pale girl with dark hair, Penny was taken aback. The last she knew the trade commission did not deal in trafficking, which is the only thing she agreed with the Trade Commission. The captain was notorious for going after slavers as well, she watched as the little girl opened her eyes from her slumber.

"They are coming." Then she seemed to notice the pirates, "Please help me."

"Of course darling," They were all in shock, Penny turned to Leonard a little shaken, "Have the crew return to the Booty, I would like to speak with our Captain Mills."

Leonard glanced at the little girl, "What about the Harrington crew, should we bring them?"

Penny looked at Leonard with wide eyes, "Yesss…Now go blimy."

Pirates are a superstitious lot, this girl didn't just speak with them but her voice was in their heads as well. So this spooked Penny and her crew mates, however they have run into these kinds of people before. They call them seers, people who speak in omens and riddles which more often than not where true relatively and subjectively speaking. So of course the best thing to do was leave.

It was a minute or two before the booty launched away from the Harrington, and started to head away. They would head to Haven as quickly as possible, a hidden trade hub for all the scoundrels and ruffians. So far this little paradise had not been discovered by the Trade Commission, but there would be quite a fight if they did. Penny stood as she watched the receding Harrington, they hadn't quite gotten all the cargo but the girl had spooked them. She was currently being looked after by their surgeon, a nice lady they had picked up a while back from a prison ship. The crew was a little jittery about their young passenger, rumors quickly spread.

"Captain there is a shift off…"Master Fowler sounded ever so slightly panicked.

"NULL SPACE NOW!" normally Penny was not one to run, but something was not right.

Amy hesitated, blind shifts where not fun, " Aye Captain, shifting."

Even lowlifes like pirates themselves would prefer to follow standards when it came to Null Space, how a vessel could travel great distances but not always the best choice, if for instance if the destination was close enough that shifting wasted more energy. Cost more, hence why the Harrington was in real space. However this was not a normal and best bet was to take a random vector and go, which was another reason to leave. Who ever was coming knew to open a vector here, precisely. So the Booty shifted into the eddies and flows of null space, just as something very big shifted to real space right by the Harrington.

Penny breathed, "Master Fowler?"

"I believe we are safe Captain, there wasn't enough time to lock onto our vector."

Leonard had been watching the scopes, before turning to Penny, "They might have tagged us, our scopes picked up a Man-of-War. But note enough for a registry, captain."

Amy and Penny gave wide eyed looks, "I believe I have a few questions for our Captain Mills."

"Aye Captain, he is in the board room under guard."

Penny sighed, that was a tad too close, at least they weren't tagged. If they couldn't tag the ship, neither could they hopefully. A bloody man-of-war, likely from the Trade Commission, the only ones who would bother tracking the Harrington and react that fast. Maybe just maybe a signal got out they didn't catch. Now this was more questions than answers, was the ship responding to the attack, or a creeping thought, the cryochamber being opened. If it was the little girl, why not have it on the warship, unless it was a secret. A man-of-war would attract attention though. Penny entered the board room to find Captain Mills sitting with two of her crew standing nearby. She got a drink and turned to the other Captain.

"Would you like a drink their darling."

Captain Mills seemed nervous, "No thank you captain."

"Suit yourself." Penny sat down, took a swig, "Now my dear captain, would you care to explain why we found a girl in a cryochamber in your ship and just ran from a man-of-war."

There was a look of fear and dread on Captain Mills face, "The Trade Commission doesn't traffic…"

Penny raised an eyebrow, "As far as you know they don't, by what do you know of that package?"

Captain Mills still looked shocked an confused, "The Captain was given specific instructions about it, we didn't even handle it ourselves."


A shrug from the man, "I don't know captain, I was told we were paid enough not to ask."

Penny nodded, "And to cover any profit loss I wager."

The man swallowed, "I imagine…captain I don't know anything really."

A sly smile from the pirate, "I shot the guy who did?"

Captain Mills looked nervous, "Yes captain, but if I may venture…he might not know much about anything either."

"Figures, you lubbers are uptight arses." Penny played with her glass, "I don't suppose you know anything about that man-of-war?"

A shake of the head, Penny put down the glass, "Bloody hell. Well captain at the moment I believe your incompetence in what happened with your ship. You are free to rejoin your crew captain."

"Aye, thank you."

Penny got up as Captain Mills was escorted out and returned to his crew, of course she would offer them a chance to join her crew. Of course they seemed like a clueless lot, at least Captain Mills. A little green around the gills. She headed out of the board room to find the Surgeon waiting, but no little girl.

The surgeon smiled, "She is in the galley with the cook, cryo tends to make one hungry. Top notch stuff according to the professor…"

Penny waved her off, "How is she, did you learn anything about her? What she was doing in a cryochamber?"

The surgeon sighed, "She is fine, except for some strange neural activity…"

The woman eyed the captain, "You know she is a seer?"

Penny nodded, as the surgeon continued. "I asked her who she is? She said they called her Nyne."

Penny was confused, "They…who are they?"

A sad look, "She said they killed her parents, got inside her head."


The Surgeon swallowed, "No idea Captain."

Penny waved off the Surgeon, "Arrr, its fine. We just need to figure out what to do with the little sprite."

Penny headed off toward the galley, this girl seemed to have nothing. There had always been rumors of tests run by the Science Board involving seers, or psions as the official term was used. She had run into seers that were really messed up in the head out in the void, crazy ramblings. More so than usual. Perhaps they caught this girl at the right moment before something happened to her, or maybe it was something else. Perhaps she should bring her to the Mystics, a secretive order, Penny shook her head as she entered the galley. Their cook, a lady that had joined their crew with her brother from a luxury ship. Across from her was their little passenger eating quite a bit of food, the captain chuckled as she sat down.

"I'm joining your crew, the mystics are stupid."

Penny blinked, glancing at the perplex cook, "Really?"

"They wouldn't understand me, all stuffy…"

Penny laughed, "Little darling. I was speaking of you joining the crew."

The girl looked at the captain, "Yes."

Now penny was a little miffed, "Why would I do that?"

"Then your safe, they know you took me."

Penny sat back, "What?"

"The ship, the ones in my head, they will find me," The girl looked down, "I can be safe here, your already in danger."

Penny glanced at the cook, "Even if we get rid of you?"

The girl swallowed, "Yes, you know about me. The fewer, the safer. I talked too much. The Cryo."

Penny breathed and looked at the cook, "For now we have a new crew member I think."

"Aye Captain."

Penny got up and started away, a small voice, "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me…"

The captain smiled, maybe the little pint will all right.

Ok. Maybe badly done with the whole talking like a pirate thing. Enjoy.