A/N: It's September! International Talk Like a Pirate Day is the 19th but this challenge is all month long!

For those I didn't message, if you still want to participate here is the Pirata Codex:

It has to be a minimum of 1k, but no max. Write as much as you like.
Must prominently feature Sheldon and Penny, but does not have to be shippy if you want a wider audience.
Since we're starting a bit late, we'll extend the deadline to the end of September (but if you still don't get it done before then, post it whenever! No pressure!)

Only dead men tell no tales, so look lively and remember to have fun!

"Another win!" the blonde maiden raised her arms in victory and shimmied in her seat, green eyes sparkling.

Penny's shift at the tavern was over but she decided to hang around when a group of sailors entered. They were a strange lot; not very tall, and one was definitely not from around here. His skin was dark caramel, his eyes chocolate. If he were dressed better he might've been exotically attractive. As it was, he was still cute, but it was a puppy kind of cute. She sat next to him mostly to avoid his short friend. He was incredibly skinny and wore clothes that were entirely too tight, almost as though he were expecting to put a suit of armor on over them - which was ridiculous considering how small he was, he'd fall right over.

The one across from her, whom she played against, was obviously the leader, but only obviously because the other two looked to him. He wasn't quite as short as the tightly clothed man, but he wasn't exactly average height, either. His brown hair was wavy and his eyes squinted behind his wire-framed spectacles when he looked further away than the next table. As it was, he seemed to be the most normal of the trio.

He'd said he was captain of a ship called Constance, though he was thinking of renaming her. She found it a little hard to believe - he didn't exactly exude leadership qualities. In fact he very much looked like a follower. Penny was willing to bet that he was only captain because the others were so ill qualified. Something probably happened to the original captain, leaving him in charge.

Throughout the night, Penny won a lot. She also pretended to lose a lot so they'd keep playing. The more they drank the more confident they felt, and the more they bet.

Penny was almost finished for the night. She was about to take them for all they were worth when something she was not expecting happened: Captain Hofstadter bet his ship. She'd purposefully lost the last few rounds to lull them into betting high, but she wasn't expecting an entire ship!

"Well," she said, mockingly thoughtful. "If you're gonna give up your ship I should bet something real big too." Here she put on her biggest pout and her saddest eyes. "Except I don't really have anything."

She hung her head in 'shame' and 'spotted' her biggest assets and an 'idea' came to her. "Oh! I know! If I win I get your boat, but if you win you can have me!" she said with her biggest grin. "Not forever, mind you, but for the rest of the time you're in town." She winked and the captain swayed in his seat.

I think the last of the blood in his head just travelled south, she thought. This'll be a cinch.

Just as she'd planned, the last round went to her. She was the new owner of Constance.

The former Captain Hofstadter passed out in shock and as a gesture of pity she paid for a room for him and his friends before leaving for home.

Despite Penny's penchant for sleeping in, she made her way to the ship early. The earlier they set sail the less chance the previous captain and his mates had to renege on their bet. As it was, they were likely still passed out.

When Penny won the ship she'd also won its crew along with it. The crew, who had had no real loyalty to Hofstadter and his mates, took to Penny like - well, like fish to water, really. They were rude, and crude, and not exactly the cleanest men on the sea, but they were fun. Penny grew up on a pig and cattle farm so they quickly got used to Penny's lasso and hogtying if they tried anything with her.

She learned the art of sailing from the Boatswain who, since her takeover left them without a Quartermaster, became the Quartermaster. It was as though she were born for it and soon the Queen P.'s Revenge was one of the most known - and most feared - pirate ships of the realm.

Penny had never been happier. She took what she wanted and gave nothing back. She went where she wanted and never looked back.


Former captain Sheldon Cooper sailed his dory into the harbor.

The Spanish privateers who'd captured him had interrogated him and discovered that he was of no value to them. As he was only a privateer himself and not a navy man there was no ransom coming their way, and with the absconsion of his crew with his ship he had little booty. Sheldon was able to barter his freedom as well as the small fore-and-aft rigged dory with a few jewels and gold nuggets he'd kept in his belt pouch for a rainy day.

He paid the harbor master the shilling to tie his boat to the dock and got directions to the nearest tavern. It was early yet, but he had a feeling his quarry would eventually make their way there if they were still in town. Sheldon didn't see the Constance, but if Leonard were as smart as he purported to be he wouldn't leave her in plain sight anyway.

When I find those yellow-bellied, mutinous bilge rats, not even Davy Jones himself will save them...