This story was written for Pepper Finn's The Worst Story EVER Challenge. Obviously, this story isn't my usual writing style and many of the things you may find wrong with this story were done on purpose.
To my review exchange buddies, no need to bother to read or review this.
If any of you are interested in entering this challenge yourselves, read about it here:
www. fanfiction topic/2872/142515667/1/Game-Did-someone-say-challenge-The-Challenge-Thread#168867663
The Final Battle at the Temple
Superman flew in attracted by the pile of swirling whatever that was that hovered over the Temple. He forgot he had powers of super vision, so he flew right in as if attracted to it like a fly to a lamp. "The colors, the colors," the caped hero muttered as he speeded toward it.
"Why are you all here? I know it is only because Waller promised to spring for the all you can eat buffet at Cici's. But I can offer you so much more then that. I know exactly what you want.," the enchantress declared casting a spell over all of them so they would all vividly see their own deepest desires displayed in a way that felt real.
As Superman's fantasy unfolded, he saw Lois Lane walking down the aisle dressed all in white looking sexier and more voluptuous than he had ever seen her before. "Do you Clark Joseph Kent take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife," the minister asked.
"I do," Clark responded. He briefly turned around.
Martha sat in the front row all dressed in black as tears streamed down her face. "But I wanted Lois to myself," she sobbed. Her face turned redder than a tomato.
Even all his friends at the planet also sat among the guests. Clark's smile got even wider as he noticed the face of Jimmy Olson. Unlike most of the seated guests, Jimmy snapped pictures. He took a close up of under Kat Grant's skirt for his personal collection. Since he must, he snapped a bunch of other pictures too.
"And do you Lois Lane take Clark Kent to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asked Lois as he chugged a pint of whiskey.
Lois looked Clark deep in the eyes practically seducing him. "I do," she declared in a loud and clear voice that even the people in the way back could hear easily.
The minister let out a loud belch. "You may kiss," as the minister began to speak. The bride all dressed in spandex was too eager. She pulled down Superman's pants and got creative about exactly where she decided to kiss him. The minister spit out a rather large swig of bourbon which went all over the happy couple. "The pen… I um, bride."
Jimmy focused in the zoom lens and snapped a very compromising picture. "Ah, blackmail material for later," the photographer mumbled to himself.
As Clark's wonderful fantasy ended, he snapped back to reality realizing this simply wasn't meant to be. All of them were dead. The bat killed his precious Lois. His mother died because of Lex. Even Jimmy perished because…. He wasn't quite sure who to blame for that one, but one thing was for sure, he wanted revenge.
"No, that wasn't what I wanted," Diablo said. "I don't want my skanky loser ex-wife back. I want pizza damn it!"
"I shot batman," Deadshot called out with a level of enthusiasm like he just won the lottery.
"Ah, Slade, you don't want that." Diablo shook his head.
"I want that," Superman and Harley both declared at the same time.
"No, Harley, Superman. We don't want him dead. He gives the best blowjobs!" Diablo insisted.
"But Diablo, you said I was the best." The girl in pigtails leaned her head against his chest. Then she raised a brow as she looked Superman in the eye. "You are pretty cute. What does that S stand for? Sexy?" She traced her finger along the S on his chest. She leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. She realized Superman wasn't kissing her back. "Like my Puddin' would say, why so serious?" With the thought of her Puddin her smile began to fade.
"She was my world. He took her away from me." The caped hero clenched his fist and hardened his expression. Then he crossed his arms and took a step back. "And he will pay!"
"Join me, I can give you everything you want." The enchantress fixed her gaze on Superman. She knew power when she saw it.
"I'm not much of a joiner, but maybe we should." Harley Quinn glanced around at the group.
"Hey! Harley, she's trying to take over the world!" Deadshot tried to talk some sense into her.
"So? What's the world ever done for us, anyway, Deadshot? It hates us!" Harley asked.
"Hey, Harley!" Dead shot still couldn't believe his ears. He knew he told her to 'stay evil' but this is overkill even for him.
Superman found himself oddly moved by her words. He remembered the people burning a wicker representation of him and calling for a 'super death.' He remembered how quick the public was to blame him for the deaths of the men in the desert and the bombing of the capital building. Then they took away the two people who mattered most to him. "She is right. They hate us. We don't owe this world a thing," Superman echoed the words of his late mother.
Harley wasn't used to a guy, not even her Puddin' taking her this seriously. "No, you owe them a lot! You owe them a swift kick in the ass," she began to say.
"Harley!" Deadshot interrupted as he turned to warn Superman. "You don't want to mess with her Superman. She is cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Totally crazy!"
"She sounds sane to me," Superman retorted.
"Oh, this will be fun! I got a new toy!" Harley grinned on the verge of bursting out laughing. Then she leaned in and kissed Superman on the mouth. This time Superman kissed her back.
"You know it is all downhill after the first kiss." Superman frowned feeling like he just betrayed his sweet Lois.
"Oh, I take it you are a virgin then," Harley smirked at him. Captain Boomerang and Deadshot both snickered. "But I can fix that."
"You are on!" He turned to the enchantress. "You can make her able to take it? You know, so for once I don't have to hold back?"
"I can," the enchantress responded to Superman. With a wave of the hand, the enchantress greatly enhanced Harley's ability to take damage and impact. Superman tour off her clothes with a sense of real urgency. As he proceed to rock her world sexually, the ground began to shake. Even the pyramid began to crumble. Harley called out in delight. Once they finished Harley threw her clothes back on which somehow were all back to normal despite being torn to shreds only moments ago.
Harley approached the Enchantress. "Hey, bitch, I mean, ah, most noble one. Um, I lost my Puddin'. But you can get him back, right?"
The enchantress waved her wand and conjured up the Joker and Lois Lane. Lois wore an A-line dress and a blazer. Superman and Harley didn't notice. All they saw was the sparkle of each other's orbs.
"But what about us?" the caped hero pouted. "I love you. Um, what did you say your name was again?"
"I love you too," the girl with the ponytail grinned.
"Clark Josephine Kent! You are leaving me for this, this harlot?" Lois asked most indignantly.
"Your middle name is Josephine?" The Joker burst out laughing.
"Oh, no, you can sleep with him too!" Harley assured the reporter.
"Oh, that makes it ok then." Lois nodded.
The Joker was still laughing from the Josephine comment. "Ordinarily, I would kill you, but since you are an extremely fine piece of ass with a sense of humor, I will spare you…"
"I knew there was good in you. I just knew it," the reporter said with a big smile on her face.
"As long as you are willing to sleep with me. Do we have a deal?" The Joker asked.
Lois took off her sweater and unbuttoned her blouse. She and the Joker began to kiss. They started with a few gentle pecks on the cheek but moved on to a full-on invasion of tongue in each other's mouth.
The enchantress turned to the rest of them. "They are mine now!"
"I am yours too if you just give me that pizza," Diablo declared.
"Fine!" The enchantress conjured up a complete buffet featuring six different kinds of pizza, a full salad bar and dessert pastries.
"Shit," Deadshot said. "If I can't beat them, then I will have to join them, but first may I have a piece of that fine Enchantress ass?"
"I thought you would never ask."