You guessed it; procrastinating again.  I have no idea where the idea came from and could probably have done something better with it, but I haven't done a one-shot in a long time…  Actually this might be my only one-shot as they have a nasty habit of mutating into a series/continuation of chapters. 

Anyway, this one is short, pointless and a *one-shot*.  Written in one go too so don't nitpick me.  This fic *is* very special though in that it has absolutely *no* swearing though.  Look impressed and enjoy it while it lasts, because this is a one-off, I assure you.

Birthday Suit

It had rained all day – well, to be precise it had rained all week but today Yami was feeling a little bit confused and upset himself so it only seemed fitting that the weather should match his mood.  He was practically soaked through when he finally arrived at his destination, not that he could really feel the chill.  His mind was too preoccupied at the moment to acknowledge a great deal around him.  Ringing the bell with a numbed finger, he shoved his hands deep into his sodden pockets as he waited for an answer.

The door opened seconds later, the occupant looking thoroughly surprised by Yami's presence.  Ushering him inside, the blond shut the door behind him before turning worried eyes on the spirit.  "What're you doing here, Yami?  It's like a mile to my house.  Something happen?"

Looking up at the taller teen, Yami found himself shrugging a little as he tried to find that answer for himself.  "No, I mean yes.  I, I don't know.  It's confusing and I don't really think I should be here."  Mentally kicking himself for even thinking that this could be a solution to his dilemma, he tried to get back to the door.  He found his path blocked though.  "Joey, get out of my way, please."

"No way, man.  Not until you tell me why you trekked over here in the middle of a storm.  Summut's obviously bothering you and I want to know what," Joey replied with resolve, crossing his arms to further demonstrate that Yami was not leaving until he had a satisfactory answer.

"It's stupid, really," Yami said, although the teen's willingness to help was sorely tempting.  "I just thought that because you're with Ryou you might be able to help me."

Joey's brows jumped at that.  "If this is about Bakura you can leave me out of it.  Sorry Yami, but I really don't want him trying to break me in half again."

Yami shook his head and raised a hand, trying to alleviate his worries.  He'd been there when Ryou and Joey had announced their relationship, something that had been going on in secrecy for four months and something that Bakura was most displeased.  In fact, the only reason his presence had been requested was to stop the other yami from killing Joey.  He'd been doing a good job until he received a blow to the head and then Joey had been on his own until he came to.  He'd gotten a gruff apology for the bruise, which was far more than Joey got; the poor blond had been warned to sleep with his eyes opened and then left in cold silence.  But he wasn't dead which was a good thing.

But that wasn't what he was here about.

"No, Joey, it's got nothing to do with Bakura.  It's me," Yami admitted sounding defeated.

Figuring that Yami would probably not appreciate having this conversation dripping wet in the hallway, Joey ushered him into the empty living room before disappearing to fetch a towel.  Returning, he waited as the spirit bundled himself in the thick material in the chair opposite him, frowning a little as he tried to figure out what could have unsettled the Game King so. 

"What about you?" he asked after a few moments, idly wondering if he should get Yami into some dry clothes with a hot drink.  He didn't really know if he could be affected by the cold; he'd never seen him sick.  But he'd stopped shivering now and didn't seem too worried so it was probably all right to leave him be.

Yami had to wait a second to compose the words, not exactly sure what he was saying let alone how he was going to say it.  "Recently I've been, unsettled about my relationship with Bakura.  I don't think I know if what I'm doing is right,"

Joey frowned, honestly not expecting that.  "Since when did that matter?  When we all went mad at you when we found out you just said that as long as you were both happy it didn't matter if it was 'appropriate' or not.  What's changed?"

"I have no idea.  I guess I must be going senile in my old age," Yami replied with a small smile, putting a hand to his face and running his fingers over his eyelids.  "Either that or it's paranoia.  I'm, scared, I guess.  I don't want to get too involved if everything is just going to go up in flames at the end."

"The risk is half the fun of it, half the fun of life; makes things more exciting."  A thought struck him, one that was actually quite obvious but had never occurred to him before, and it might just very well be what had brought Yami here.  "This is the first serious thing, isn't it?"

Yami cocked a brow at that.  "It's my first 'anything' to my memory, but that doesn't mean too much."

"That doesn't matter.  Sounds to me like you've just got the jitters because you're scared of getting hurt if it doesn't last, or if you're just wasting your time."

Yami didn't know what to say to that so he remained silent, fingering the towel wrapped around him and dropping his eyes to watch his busy fingers.  The snapped back onto Joey again when he spoke.

"I'll tell you summut Yami, something that only two other people know.  Might just help you out."

That had certainly grabbed his attention.  Watching him intently, he waited for the other to continue.

"Alright.  A while back I started feeling the same as you.  I got all worried that Ryou was going to leave me, if everything was going to wrong and what I'd do without him, and I didn't know what to do either.  So, I got some advice and got some reassurance, and things have never been better since," Joey said with a grin, leaning back in the chair as he want over the memory in his head.

"What did you do?"

"I invited him over one day when I was on my own and opened the door in my birthday suit."

Yami blinked, sitting in silence as he waited for the joke or the real answer.  None came, and misunderstanding his silence for not understanding, Joey cleared his throat.  "Um, that mean's I-"

"Yes, thank you Joey, I do know what that means," Yami interrupted quickly, holding up a hand before he got the explanation that he did not want.  "I have been in this world for seven years now, and I've learnt more than one thing that I didn't really want to know in that time."

"Yeah well, it worked.  You might as well try it, it's not like you've got anything to lose."

Yami scowled.  "My dignity?"

Joey laughed at that.  "Jeez Yami, you two are in love!  Anyone with half a brain cell can see that!  Look; it's all about how he reacts.  If you're nervous about the idea then he should pick up on it and leave you pretty much alone.  If you're, not so nervous, then he'll react how you want him to."

Scarily, there was some sense in that.  Feeling that he was on he verge of having a conversation that he didn't want to have now, Yami nodded and stood slowly.  He did have one question though.  "How exactly gave you this 'advice'?"

"Ah, sorry Yami.  Can't say," Joey replied shaking his head.  He didn't think that Yami would appreciate knowing that it was his Hikari who had suggested it.  He didn't want to know how he knew about it though.

Glancing out of the window as he rose to his feet, he was glad to see that the rain had finally stopped.  The dark clouds still hung ominously though.  "You sure you're going to get home okay?"

Yami nodded as he slid the towel off, hanging it over the back of the chair and walking back to the door.  "Yes, and thanks.  I'll…" His eyes narrowed suddenly as he turned sharply to face Joey.  "You speak one word of this…"

"Already forgotten what we were talking about," came the easy reply, a smirk spreading over the youthful face. 

Yami 'hmm'ed before opening the door and stepping back outside, feeling the wind instantly drive a coldness through him thanks to his water-soaked clothes.  Picking up his pace, he absently heard the door shut behind him.  He sincerely hoped that he was right in assuming that spirits couldn't catch colds.


Back inside the house, Joey wasted no time in picking up the phone and dialling for Ryou's mobile.  He knew that he was out for today with Bakura meaning that Yami would be returning to an empty house.  Glancing out the window, he watched the spirit turn the corner out of his street before the ringing tone stopped. 

"Hey Joey, is everything all right?"

Joey frowned a little.  "Why'd you say that?"

"You never call me on my cell," came the response, mirth clear in the tones. 

"Ryou I need a favour.  Can you come over for a bit?  And send Bakura home while you're at it?"  He could practically hear the grin.

"Okay, no problem.  I'll be over in about half an hour."

"Thanks Ryou.  Just make sure your yami goes home."

"Joey Wheeler I do think you're up to something."

"Not me.  I'm doing the favour this time."


Yami had been wrong.  Spirits *could* catch colds.  He'd been in Bakura's house – having been significantly closer than the Game Shop with an open invitation - for twenty minutes now, most of that spent in an unhealthily hot shower, and he was still freezing.  In the bedroom wearing a towel as he waited for his clothes to come out of the dryer, he was now watching the clouds beginning to break up out of the window.

Glancing down for no particular reason, he was surprised to see Bakura walking up the path below him to the door.  Instinctively moving to go and open the door for him, he found himself stopping in the doorway thinking about what Joey had said to him before.  Exhaling as he figured that now was as good a time as any, he let go of the towel and carried on downstairs.  He now felt far colder than he had a moment ago, making a mental note to shout at Joey for giving him this idea in the middle of winter.

Standing at the closed door as he listened to Bakura working the key in the lock, he gritted his teeth, took a breath and opened it for him.

Bakura stared dumbly at where the lock had been before the door had opened, glancing up at Yami after briefly skimming over his form.  Not really sure what he had seen, he took another look down before blinking in surprise and grinning.

"Well, this is a nice surprise.  You can certainly do this more often," he said stepping forward, kicking the door shut behind him as he wrapped his arms around his lover.  Running slender fingers up and down the length of Yami's spine, he brushed his nose across the other's spirits and lowered his head for a kiss.

Yami suddenly pulled back though, His face scrunching before he sneezed violently away from them.  Sniffling a little, he looked back at Bakura with irritation.  That was not what was supposed to have happened.

Bakura rolled his eyes dramatically and clipped the back of Yami's still-damp head lightly.  "Come on you stupid thing.  In the bath now before you get pneumonia and keel over on me, and if you're good I'll join you," he finished with an even larger grin.

Smiling, Yami had about enough time to nod before he found himself being picked up and carted off upstairs.  A few minutes later, amongst bubbles and foam, there were no more worries.


Yeah, that could have turned into a lemon or at least a fluff piece but I can't write the former at all and I am not too good at the latter, so you'll have to settle for just this.  Oh well.  Review all the same, even if it's just to congratulate me on proving my existence for you.  You could also send me luck as I just found out that Spyder is entering the YuGiOh fanfiction competition, effectively killing off my chances.  Oh well, I'll see it as a challenge.  Can always fight dirty as I quite want to win those DVDs…

Review! ;p