Disclaimer: I don't own POTO or "The Bear". I just pretend I do.

PS: Okay, this is a comic play by Anton Pavlovich Chekhov. Obviously it's Russian, but it's a great play. Besides, I have nothing left to do in Keyboarding class.

Characters:

Carlotta Giudicelli Piangi-a landowning widow with dimples (surprise!)

Erik Mulheim-a middle-aged landowner

Joseph Buquet-Carlotta's aged footman

RANDOM AUTHOR: Why isn't Christine the widow? This IS a romance, isn't it?

PS: Yeeeeeesss. But, let's face it. She doesn't have a lot of spunk.

*Raoul enters*

RAOUL: Do not speak of my fiancé so!

PS: Get lost Raoul. You're not even in this fic.

RAOUL: *surprised* Oh. *leaves*

PS: Any who, I love Christine to pieces, really. But there are just some things she would NEVER do. And some of those things happen in the play. Carlotta, on the other hand, would. So, please don't kill me. *sweet smile*

*Erik enters*

ERIK: Wait a minute! Are you telling me that I'm supposed to play opposite that... that... that TOAD?!?!?

*Carlotta enters*

CARLOTTA: Zees eez an outrage! I will not play a buffoon een a comedy!

PS: *long suffering sigh* *to Carlotta* You're not playing a buffoon. *to Erik* You ARE playing opposite her. *to both* And NEITHER of you are getting out of it. Now, without further ado... THE BEAR!

CARLOTTA: *shrieks* A BEAR?!?!?! WHERE?!?!

PS: ...

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A/N: So, what do you think? Please don't hurt me!!! *hides behind computer*