Home at Last - Episode II
Sam, Diane, and Shea walk downstairs to greet their new guests. Norm Peterson and Cliff Clavin are standing in the entryway of the house.
Diane: Norman! Clifford! (she hugs them)
Norm: So the rumor is true! You ARE back in Boston!
Diane: Yes! I'm going to be reopening the coffee shop…and my daughter, Shea, will be attending the university.
Shea: Hello, I'm Shea. (shakes hands with the guys) I've heard a lot about you guys.
Cliff: I just want you to know that I had a premonition about this moment. Yes, that's right. A premonition, of sorts there, Diane. You see, it's a known fact that...
Norm: Ah, Cliff, I think the folks were going to have lunch, so we should…
Shea: Nonsense! You must stay and eat with us!
Cliff: Well, if you insist.
Sam: (laughs) We insist.
Everyone disperses into the room, pulling out chairs, setting out additional plates for the newcomers, and conversing busily. Sam and Diane make eye contact from across the room, smiling at one another. Many diverse conversations ensued at the table. There was a light, airy feel to the room and its occupants. Much laughter and delicious food.
Norm: I'm anxious to see the shop open again. I have spent many hours there talking with Boggs and Sammy.
Diane: Oh? So you knew this all along? Which stool is yours, Norman? Just out of curiosity, assuming you have laid claim? (Diane smiles at him)
Norm: Well, it's the one at the end of the counter, next to the muffin display. (Norm looks sheepishly at her, over the glasses he now wears)
Diane giggles loudly.
Cliff: Yeah, and before it closed there, folks did start announcing his name as he entered. Just like...I mean. (clears his throat)
Diane: It's alright. No taboo subjects here, Cliff. My years at Cheers were some of the happiest of my life. (smiles softly, looking at Sam)
Sam: That's right, Cliffy. Everything happens for a reason, and in its own time.
Shea: Yes! I want to hear stories! Mother has told me so much about her time at Cheers. I'd like to hear from all of YOU about your past exploits!
Diane: Oh, Shea! We've been in Boston for five minutes, give the guys a break! There will be plenty of time for reminiscing.
Mary and Betty start to clear the table for dessert. Shea and Luke join in.
Diane: Sam, can you help me with the dessert and lemonade? It is downstairs in the fridge. I thought we might want to go out back and have dessert on the deck?
Sam: You bet, sweetheart!
Diane and Sam walk downstairs to get the jello cake and lemonade from the refrigerator. Sam stops cold at the bottom of the stairs. On the wall in front of him is his old picture of the "Dogs Playing Cards".
Sam: Are you kidding me?
Sam: How did that get back...here?
Diane: Your guess is as good as mine. I thought maybe, when...we (she stops, clears her throat).
Sam: (knows she's recalling a past, painful memory, walks to her and holds her) Honey, don't. It kills me to see you sad.
Diane: (speaks, softly) I was going to say, when we told the realtor that we were no longer interested in the house...well, I thought you would have taken it home. The first day I came in to look at the house, I mean, before buying it this time, it was right there.
Sam: You're kidding? (walks to the picture, softly touching the crushed velvet-like texture) No. I never came back here after you left. Ever. My last memory, here, was... (now clearing his throat, turning to look at Diane and smiling)
Diane: (laughs out loud) Oh, Sam, naughty-naughty. (blushing)
Sam: Woman, we were smokin' hot that day! (walks to her and starts kissing her)
Diane: (laughing, but enjoying his attention, kisses him back) Hey! Dessert! Remember!
Sam: We're having it. They can fend for themselves.
Diane: Sam! Later darling, we have guests. (smiles cheesy, goes to the refrigerator for the cake) You know what is strange, however? (Sam raises his eyebrows in answer) I've moved it three times. Every time I come back down for something, it is here.
Sam: Whaaaaaaaat? Sweetheart, you alright?
Diane: I'm serious. At first I was a little frightened, then a soft calm came over me and a picture of the Coach popped into my mind. So, I leave it there.
Sam: You know what? That makes perfect sense! He loved that picture. When I originally brought it here, I had him in mind.
Diane: Really! That is incredible.
Sam: What, that he liked it?
Diane: No. That you both could have such terrible taste! (laughs)
Sam: Alright, that does it! Dessert now, then you are in trouble, woman!
Diane: Oh yeah, promises, promises. (giggles) At this age you are no longer faster than me, it's a more even playing field.
Sam: Playing field...OOOhhhh I like the sound of that.
They continue bantering as they carry the dessert and lemonade upstairs. Sam and Diane brought the cake to the table on the deck, but are met with several sets of staring, bewildered eyes.
Norm: Sammy! (stands up and slaps Sam on the back) A daughter!
Sam: (grinning from ear to ear) That's right, gentlemen, remember the night...
Diane: Ah...Sam. They'll figure it out. (she winks at him)
Cliff: What was that like for you, Shea? I mean, I'm sure your mother had told you about Sammy, but...
Shea: (pauses before speaking) Well I'll tell ya Cliff, it was like Christmas in July! Honestly, I couldn't be happier.
Norm: Kind of like winning the lottery, twice.
Norm: 1. finding out you have this awesome dude for a dad, and 2. finding out Sumner isn't your dad.
Shea: Mother said you guys all knew Sumner. He was a piece of work. Upon reflection of my very few and far between conversations with him, I would almost bet money that he knew all along I was not his biological child. Never really cared about me one way or another I don't think.
Mary: Control freak, that one!
Betty: I have a few adjectives I'd like to interject here...
Diane: Friends, we shouldn't speak ill of the dead. Everything happens for a reason.
Sam: That's right! And right now, I think we should all help clean up and watch a movie.
Diane: A movie?
Sam: Yeah. Or we can reconvene later tonight and do popcorn and the works?
Luke: That sounds awesome! Shea and I still have to go up to school today. What movie should we choose?
Shea: Something romantic.
Sam: How bout Moonstruck?
Shea: Yes! Mother! Can I call her and see if she is still in New York and can come over for the movie?
Diane: Lovie, she is very busy. And you know how hard it is for her to be in public.
Cliff: She? She who?
Norm: I'm up for a movie, popcorn, and beer.
Diane: (laughing) Sounds amazingly wonderful.
Shea: Mom! Can I, can I, huh, can I?
Diane: Shea, it is may I, and I'll call her in a bit.
Cliff: Her? Who is her?
Shea: My Auntie, Cher.
Cliff: Your Auntie?
Norm: You mean...Do You Believe in Life...(does terrible Cher impression) Cher?
Sam: The one and only, (holds up his right hand) scouts honor. Just met her the other morning, legit and in the flesh.
Cliff: I want to meet her flesh, ah, I mean see her flesh, I mean meet her for real! Wait a minute here...how is she your auntie. Your mother is an only child...and…
Shea: No, Cliff. She is not my Auntie like that...she is my Godmother. I've always just called her Auntie.
(Cliff and Norm turn to Diane with their hands folded)
Cliff/Norm: Please, Diane, can Auntie Cher come over? Please!
Diane: Down boys. I don't even know if she is still here or back in Cali. I'll text her later. For now, let's help Mary and Betty clean up.
Scene changes to Cliff and Norm in the car.
Norm: Well Cliffy, I can honestly say, that is not how I thought this afternoon was going to turn out, but I'm sure glad it did.
Cliff: Yeah. Sure warms your heart to see Sam and Diane together again.
Norm: I know, right? What a crazy world. Who'd have thought after that many years, their chemistry would still be so powerful?
Cliff: Well there Nommy, that love is a crazy thing. You know the ancient Aztecs had a great way of explaining universal happenings, such as this here reunion.
Norm: I'm sure they do Cliff, they are also not around anymore.
Cliff: Okay, okay, Nom. I get the picture.
Norm: Do you think we will really get to meet Cher?
Cliff: By golly, with every cell in my body, I pray to heaven we do! (freaks out excitedly at the prospect of meeting Cher)
The house is empty except for Sam and Diane. They are sitting on the couch together. Shea and Luke are at the university and Betty and Mary are at the coffee shop putting all the finishing touches together before they open on Monday.
Diane: Sam, what are you doing? (has his nose in her hair behind her ear)
Sam: Breathing you in.
Diane: (giggles) Well quit, it tickles.
Sam: (looks at her) It's like breathing in a memory, only to find it real. Does that make sense?
Diane: Yes, perfect sense. When we were in the apartment, the other night, I kept waking to your scent. I would startle, as if it were a dream, then look over to find you there.
Sam: Any regrets?
Diane: Oh, I don't know, Sam. So much of my life seems like a blur. Like it passed by in instants instead of years. I feel, truly, your destiny unfolds, as it should. I'm just thankful. Oh, so thankful. What made you ask? You still carrying around regrets?
Sam: (tracing circles on the back of her hand) Only that I didn't chase after you. I was selfish.
Diane: Sam, it was a mutual decision. There is a reason we didn't take off in that plane together.
Sam: I get it lovie, but I still carry regrets over it.
Diane: Well stop. The past is the past, now is now, so...kiss me big guy!
Sam: Oh I'm gonna kiss ya. March!
Diane: What do you mean, march?
Sam: Up those stairs to...our room. (stands and starts helping her from the couch)
Diane: Taking quite the liberty with the "our" there, Mr. Malone.
Sam: Uh-huh. I find it very liberating, actually, Miss Chambers.
Sam kisses her lightly, they start to walk upstairs together.
Diane: Oh, Sam, I forgot to text Auntie.
Sam: I'll remind you. (pushing her from behind)
Diane: No matter how many life experiences you have, thankfully, some of them never change.
Sam: (laughs) I do my best.
Later that evening, the lunch party returns for movie night. Cliff and Norm bring popcorn and beer, Shea and Luke contribute M&M's, Mary and Betty bring extra drinks from the kitchen, and the evening crackles with excitement. The doorbell rings and Diane goes to answer it. An older, gray-haired woman stands there holding a fruit tray. She steps in and closes the door.
Older woman: Somebody order a fruit tray? (sounding like Lavern from Sonny and Cher Show)
Shea: (screams) AUNTIE! (jumping the couch like a hurdle, grasping her godmother, almost toppling the fruit)
Cher: Heard you'd be enjoying my Oscar-winning performance this evening! Thought I'd come by for the Q &A part afterward.
Diane: (hugs her friend) So blessed you could make it. Thank you for coming.
Cher: Wouldn't have missed it. (walks into the room) So you must be Norm and Cliff.
Cliff: Daaaahreakdg jehgbgjfefwo!
Norm: I must apologize for my friend here. He's a little star struck. May I hand your shake, ah I mean..ah...
Cher: How bout I just give you each a hug, and the awkwardness can then leave the room? Sound okay boys?
Cliff: (walks toward her like Frankenstein's monster) Okay.
Cher: (Cher laugh, hugs Cliff and Norm) We calm, cool, and collected now? (turns to Shea) Gimmie some sugar baby girl!
Shea: Thank you for coming! It's so perfect that you were still out here! We had the most perfect day, perfect lunch, perfect dessert. So, when Sam suggested Moonstruck for our movie night...
Cher: Wait a minute, Sam suggested? (turns to look at Sam)
Sam: (wiggles a his fingers in a wave) Hi "Auntie" (Cher laughs)
Cher: Boy don't you look like the cat who swallowed the canary, (turns to look at Diane) and there be the canary. (laugh)
Luke: Yo people? We gonna watch the movie or talk all night.
Cher: Okay Mr. Impatience, but before we do...what was that I heard about dessert and how much of it is left for me?
Betty: I got choo girl. It's jello-cake, so I'm specting you want the pan and a fork?
Cher: Hell no! A spoon!
Everyone settles in for the movie. Sam holds Diane closely. She gazes into his eyes. Life is good.
The next morning, Diane is up and out the door early. She heads to the coffee shop to continue the hard work Mary and Betty have been steadily completing for the great reopening of the shop. Upon arrival, she runs into the muffin and pie salesmen, she smiles and signs the delivery slip. Diane hears Sam speaking in the kitchen. She follows the sound of his voice, pushing through the swinging door. Sam shakes a delivery man's hand and he leaves.
Diane: What's this? Receiving the delivery men? You going to be my shipping and receiving department?
Sam: Hmmmmm, I kinda like the sound of that, actually. How may I service you now Boss Lady? (smiles)
Diane: (laughs) I missed you last night. Couldn't get to sleep right away.
Sam: Well, sweetheart, yesterday was an emotional day all the way around. (pours her a cup of coffee)
Diane: Emotional is putting it lightly! My adrenaline was maxed out by the time I hit my pillow. I could not stop my mind from replaying the conversations, and, other stimulating happenings, (clears her throat) that took place throughout the day.
Sam: Oh yeah, what's that grin for? (he wraps her in a hug) You remembering any happenings...a little more amorously?
Diane: Amorously? Why Sam, I'm impressed. And yes, as a matter of fact, I am. (gives him a seductive look)
Mary and Betty burst into the kitchen carrying a large box.
Betty: Hey, lovebirds, a little help here!
Mary: Oh Miss Diane! So wonderful to see you happy!
Diane: Thanks Mary! (detaches herself from Sam) I am happy! Say, what's in the box?
Betty: It's a bunch of stuff we found in the basement. Looks like former décor and kitchen utensils, maybe? We were making room for the new inventory and found it in the corner.
Diane: If you aren't finding anything of use to us at this time, you can just put it in my car and I will go through it tonight with Shea. Who knows what my mother saved?!
Mary: Might be fun, kind of like a time capsule.
Sam is on his cell as the women are bustling around putting the finishing touches on the shop before the big day on Monday.
Sam: (on the phone) Yes that sounds grand...okay sweetheart, I'll see you then.
Diane: (startles Sam) See who, when? (raises eyebrows)
Sam: Well, not that it's any of your bees wax, but I'm meeting, (pregnant pause), I'm meeting, our daughter for lunch.
Diane: (tears well) I love that, Sam. I just love hearing those words come from you. (hugs him)
Scene changes to Sam and Shea having lunch.
Shea: Thank you so much for meeting me Sam, I mean dad. That isn't going to take as long as I thought it would.
Sam: What? Calling me dad? Don't have to. Sam is okay as well.
Shea: Nope! Very proud to call you dad. Or would you prefer pops? Father? Yo, daddio?
Sam: (laughs out loud) No, dad is good!
Shea: Seriously though, I really want to get this done. And I don't want mom to worry, so let's just surprise her with it.
Sam: She's going to want to know what we talked about, Shea. I can't lie to her.
Shea: (rolls her eyes) Oh I know, believe me, I know. She says she can always tell when I'm lying because of how my nostrils flare. (laughs)
Sam: My god! She still uses the lying nostril line, huh. That's really funny. (rubs his nose)
They look at each other and bust out laughing.
Sam: Well, let's go get it done. How long will it take to get the results?
Shea: Just a few days. I have some friends in the lab that are helping me out with our tests, as a favor. You sure you're still game?
Sam: I've known since the moment I laid eyes on your precious face, you were ours. This will just help with the legalities.
Shea: Thanks, dad. And, thanks for loving my mother.
Sam: Hey, while we are on the subject of your mother...would it be alright with you...
Shea: Absolutely! I can't believe you've waited this long!
Sam: (stares at her confused) What?
Shea: Well you were going to say you're finally going to marry her, weren't you?
Sam: (sighs) You may look like my mother, everything else came from yours!
Shea: Intuition runs strong in my family.
Monday morning had finally arrived. The grand reopening was in full swing. Norm sat on his stool with Cliff right next to him. Sam read aloud to them from the morning paper. Diane watched from behind the window in the kitchen. She smiled, closing her eyes and breathing in the comfortable aroma of fine coffees, teas and freshly baked goods. Wow. Life had taken her on a wild, wonderful ride. In less than a month she had moved across the country, reunited with the love of her life, reopened her mother's shop, and, most importantly, had a newfound sense of family. Shea and Luke were adjusting well and Mary and Betty were getting along famously. And...then there was Sam...her seventy-year-old knees still went weak at the mere thought of him. Staring at him from her hiding spot in the kitchen, she smiled at his lighthearted, jovial laughter.
Suddenly, the front door bursts open...
Sam: Shea! Easy on the door there girl! Most of the buildings in this city are centuries old!
Shea: Oh! Sam! (looks around the shop at everyone staring at her, she smiles sheepishly) Could I, a, have a word?
Norm: What did you do now?
Sam: Sure sweetheart! What's up?
Shea: Could we step outside a moment, please?
Sam: (Giant butterflies suddenly erupted inside of him. He knew why she was there. The blood test had been completed) You bet.
Diane watched as Sam and Shea stepped outside on the sidewalk. She couldn't be sure what was going on, as the facial expressions on their faces were indecipherable. Shea gave Sam a hug, stared at him an extra moment, and walked away. Sam's gaze followed her and he dropped his head and walked back into the shop.
Sam: (clapped his hands together) Hey boys, ready for a refill?
Cliff: What was that all about there, a, Sammy?
Sam: (turns back to the door) What? Can't a man talk to his daughter without everyone asking questions? (walks through the swinging door into the kitchen)
Diane: (confronts Sam) What's going on? Was that Shea?
Sam: Going on? Nothing. Yep. That was Shea. She wanted to ask some questions about the Red Sox program for Luke.
Diane: Really? Hmm. I wonder why she didn't just call?
Sam: (going out of his way not to make eye contact) I'm not sure? That is kind of odd, huh?
Sam: Yes honey?
Diane: Your nostrils are betraying you. (walks out of the kitchen, stopping to look back at him through squinted eyes)
Sam: (follows her quickly) Sweetheart, wait.
Diane: What is it Sam? Something you left out?
Sam: No, no. Not a thing. (walks back through the kitchen door and up to his apartment)
Diane: (sighs, talking to herself, what the hell is going on? Walks over to the guys) Norm? What is the deal with Sam?
Norm: I have no idea.
Cliff: Yeah, he was a little short with us too there, a, Diane.
Diane wipes the counters absentmindedly, staring at the kitchen door.
Closing time. Day one had exceeded all expectations. They were left with only a few unsold baked goods, the coffee and tea had both been hits, and the lines had been kept to a minimum. Diane, Betty and Mary sat around the large baking table in the kitchen, having a cup of tea.
Diane: Success ladies! I'm so happy, I can hardly wait until tomorrow!
Betty: Easy boss-lady! I need to rest my weary bones before the next onslaught!
Mary: I see the years you spend sitting behind posh desk do not serve you body well, amiga!
Betty: Yeah, well you ain't movin too fast yoself there mamacita!
Mary: (laughs loudly) You no speak Spanish so well!
Betty: Well enough!
Diane: Ladies! (laughing) The comedy relief runs amok around here.
Mary: You know we just funnin Miss Diane.
Betty: You know, I swear I feel the spirit of Miss Helen right here with us as we speak.
Diane: I'd bet money on that one Betty!
Mary: Oh yes! I think she be proud of us!
Diane stood and took off her apron. She stared at the door leading to the apartment. Sam had not come back into the shop since the awkwardness that morning. Diane had tried to push the conversation from her mind all day to no avail. No, she wasn't going to press him. If he had something to tell her, he'd do it in his own time. She refused to fall back into the old habits that had sabotaged much of their youthful affair.
Diane: Well my darlings, shall we go home?
Mary: (looks at Betty) Sure, honey. It's been a long day and I'll bet Luke is eating cold lunch meat straight out of the package.
Betty: (laughs) You got that right! Let's head out.
The ladies turn out the lights and lock the doors. Diane softly touches the apartment door as she walks out.
Scene changes to the house.
Walking in, Mary spots Luke on the couch eating a raw hot dog. Shea is on the floor writing in a notebook.
Shea: So how did things end up at the shop?
Diane: Great! Better than any of us could have expected!
Shea: How is Sam?
Diane: Uh, good. He really just kind of stayed out of the way. He went upstairs early. Must have had other things to do?
Shea: Oh mother! What happened?
Diane: (turns away) What ever do you mean, daughter?
Diane: Shea! Why are you shouting at me? (storms upstairs)
Shea: Betty! Front and center! What happened?!
Betty: Honestly, child. She hasn't said a word.
Shea walks slowly upstairs. Standing outside of her mother's door, she raises her fist to knock. She just couldn't. Turning, she walked back down the stairs to Luke. Clueless, Luke comes to join her at the bottom of the stairs.
Luke: Hey babe. Any idea when dinner is.
Shea: Dude, you just ate a package of hot dogs. Really.
Luke: Geeeeeez sorry! Just askin! (lowers his head, feigning sadness)
Shea: Awe, I'm sorry babe! Just trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my mother.
Luke: It's cool, my love. Just trying to keep the mood light.
Shea: The mood is about to turn excellent! (she bounces onto the couch giggling naughtily)
Mary and Betty set the table for dinner. Shea helps with the silverware and glasses. The baseball game is on in the living room as Luke snores softly on the couch.
Shea stares at his sleeping figure, smiling with warmth. She feels a hand on her shoulder and turns to see her mother smiling at her. Shea hugs her, close and longer than necessary.
Shea: Everything is going to be wonderful, mother. Wonderful!
Diane: (swats her on the backside) Well Miss Wonderful, better wake up Prince Charming for dinner! (walks over to inspect the table) Wow, lovie, the fresh flowers look amazing. But, why are there so many place settings?
Shea: Oh! That? Well, I invited a few extra people for dinner. Sorry I didn't run it by you earlier, I didn't want to wake you. Mary said there was plenty, so I took the liberty...
Diane: Would it be rude of me to inquire about said guests?
Shea: Not guests, mother, family.
Diane: Oh Shea! Can't we just...
Shea: Relax mother. Your face is twitching. And yes, one of the guests is Sam.
Diane: I don't care how old you are, young lady, I will NEVER tolerate disrespect.
Shea: What disrespect...I just...
The doorbell rings. Silence. Luke wakes, looking back and forth between Shea and Diane.
Luke: Who died? (silence) Anyone going to answer the door? (silence) Never mind, I got the door. (opens the front door to Norm and Cliff standing on the porch. Norm has a bottle of wine and Cliff a dessert, obviously made of Jello) Hey guys! Good to see you again.
Shea: (comes up behind Luke) Hello gentleman! So glad you could make it on such short notice!
Norm: Yeah, two nights in a row! This is on its way to becoming a wonderful habit!
Shea: Oh, I do hope so Norm. Even before I knew you guys, I felt as if I knew you! Mother talked about you all the time!
Diane: Shea, I'm sure the guys don't want to hear all that nonsense.
Cliff: A, on the contrary there, Diane. I personally find it rather touching that you cared enough to think about us now and again when you were in the great CaliforNIA. I'm sure I speak for Nommy there as well, huh, Nom?
Norm: Touching, yes, very touching.
Diane: (laughing) Well, thanks gentlemen. I have many fond memories of you and your antics.
Shea: Tell me more, tell me more!
Shea slips her arms through theirs, leading them into the living room, looking back and forth between their faces. The doorbell rings again. Diane pauses for a moment, knowing it is Sam at the door.
Diane: (takes a deep breath and opens the door) Hello, Sam. Thank you so much for coming.
Sam: (walks in and shuts the door behind him, never taking his eyes from hers) Sure! Wouldn't have missed it for the world. (Diane tilts her head in question. Sam reaches for her hands, pulls her close and kisses her softly)
Diane: (clears her throat, embarrassed, as she feels the silent stares burning through her back. Without turning around, stares up at him) Hungry? Dinner is ready!
Sam: Hang on there a minute, woman. I got something to say to you.
Diane: Sam, really, I think...
Sam: Shea, you wanna help me out a little here, sweetheart?
Diane: What's going on here, Sam.
Diane: Stay out of this Shea!
Shea: I can't, mother. I'm the reason for it.
Diane: (whips around to look at her daughter) What do you mean?
Shea: (walks up to her mom and wraps her in a gentle hug, Diane pulls away, holding her at arms length) Mother, do not be upset.
Diane: Upset? Why would I be upset? Secrets make such great friends, Shea! Impromptu dinner parties and my daughter sneaking around behind my back...(chokes up)
Shea: Mama, don't cry. (pulls her mother close again) I just wanted it to be a surprise. Sam was kind enough to volunteer a sample of his blood for a paternity test.
Shea: That's it. That's all.
Sam: (grasps the two women in a hug) It's official.
Diane: Really, that's it?
Sam: Well, mostly. Here, let's adjourn to the living room. Everyone, we had the blood work done and it is positively official! I'm the proud father of this beautiful angel!
Shea: Awe! Thanks...dad!
Diane: So what did you mean, mostly?
Sam: (walks over to Diane, takes her hands and proceeds to get down on his knee, reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a ring) Woman, I love you. Will you, please, say yes to being my wife?
Diane: (answering through tears) Yes, Sam, I will be your wife.
Sam: (slips the ring onto her finger) Look familiar?
Diane: Sam, is this the same..
Sam: Yep! Honest, cross my heart!
Diane: But I tossed it out of your car window, we looked for hours...I
Sam: (smiles) When you left for California, a hundred times, I almost went, (clears his throat, choked up) I almost went after you. The thought of rejection kept the coward that I was from chasing you. For some reason, the lost ring would not leave my mind. So, I hired a guy with a metal detector to comb the area.
Diane: How brilliant! Why didn't we think of that the night it happened!
Shea: Mom! Shhhhh!
Diane: Sorry, you were saying, darling?
Sam: Well, while metal detector guy and I went back and forth, what seemed like a million times, we heard a voice from above. (everyone stares at Sam as if he has lost his mind) No, not above, above. In the tree above. (rolls his eyes) Turns out there was a twelve year old kid, curiously watching us. He asked what we were looking for. I told him a ring. He says, "with diamonds?" I said, yes, why, you seen it. He says "sure, it's right there." I looked where he was pointing, and sure enough, there was your ring, shining with all of its glory, under the bush, like two feet outside of our search area.
The house erupted with cheers, tears, hugs, and happiness. The meal was served, the dishes cleared. As the room rang with the sound of the baseball game on TV and joyful conversation, Diane pulled Sam outside out the back door.
Diane: Sam, you seriously kept this ring all of these years? Why?
Sam: It was all I had left. You know what they say? Diamonds are forever. This ring was purchased for you, therefore, come hell or high water, or a punch in the face, I was going to get it back to you. On your finger or not, it could never belong to anyone else.
Diane: (kisses him passionately) Sam Malone, my heart has always been with you, and always will be.
Sam: Soon to be, Diane Malone, could I talk you into a sleepover at my place?
Diane: No, I'm afraid with all of these new developments and such, you no longer have an apartment.
Sam: No? Huh? What are you saying?
Diane: I'm saying, you no longer live above the coffee shop. Your place is where it has always been, next to me.