Co-authored. The same person who started the series, Music Semblance? Sure, let's go with that!

Irregular updates because she's just as busy as I am, and I have multiple projects and life to take care of.

Now if you excuse us, we have finals and university transfers to prepare for.

EDIT: Added a period to a sentence. Some words are missing for some reason.

EDIT: Readjusted several words.

NOT A [Salem x Jaune] fic!

Pardon our grammar.

Chapter 1:

The Everknight.

Sounds cool, edgy, and important…

That's Jaune's title, the Everknight. The Emissary of Salem, the Eyes and Ears of the Grimm Queen, the Divine/Queen's Messenger, the Delegate of Grimm.

And most importantly, her errand boy.

Salem's castle, the Evernight Castle, is located in the Land of Darkness. A place where the Creatures of Grimm spawn and is practically uninhabitable for just about anyone but Salem herself. The castle is kept tidy by Grimm, Watt's androids, and Salem's magic, but even those couldn't cover everything.

Well, they can actually – It's just that they don't often do a good job for the more specific tasks.

Like going to the cellar and grabbing Salem's favorite wine. Salem doesn't seem to trust her Grimm or even Watt's android to bring it back in one piece. She could go get it herself, but she's royalty of sorts and… She's not in the mood right now.

Plus, she already drank all of her favorite wines.

Jaune gulped and brought up his Grimm Seer companion whom he named Pythia. The Seer unraveled itself from its 'scepter' form and started calling Salem.

The transmission went through and Salem appeared on the other end, looking like she's done for the day.

"Um, Salem? We ran out of your favorite wine. There's no more in the cellar." Both Jaune and Pythia tensed, awaiting Salem's response.

The Grimm Queen took a long deep breath and sighed, "My Everknight… Go to Mistral and bring me back the finest wine that it has to offer." Salem rubbed her forehead, "I need a drink."

"Right away."

"And bring back eight cases. Contact Leonardo to assist you with the shipment. Once it's been done, I'll take it from there."

"Got it."

The transmission ends.

Pythia, the Grimm Seer coiled its tentacles to revert back to its 'scepter' form; asking Jaune to carry it with him.

"Hey, we still have to contact Leonardo." Jaune poked the Seer and it reluctantly uncoiled with a hiss. "What are you sighing about? I know you don't like Leonardo, but we should give the guy a break every now and then."

How did Jaune end up working with Salem? Well, let's go back a few months.


Jaune wanted to be a hero.

At least, that's what Jaune originally wanted to be.

But that's not what happened. Life works in strange ways and sometimes; you find yourself in an odd position, wondering how you ended up here. For Jaune, he somehow ended up working with Salem, the Queen of Grimm. Jaune would put self-proclaimed in that title, but he doubts anyone would like to contest with that and live.

So how did he react to this?

He went with it.

Look, you try wrapping your head around this stuff. Jaune got yoinked by a giant flying monster when he was mailing his transcript to Beacon Academy and spent four hours screaming in the air before it dropped him into a barren wasteland.

A wasteland that's strangely beautiful with dark red skies and purple glowing rocks.

The aesthetic landscape was sadly ruined very quickly when Jaune did a double take on his surroundings. It was populated by monsters coming out of black goo pools. In an instant, he was surrounded by monsters, and Jaune was very glad that his bladder froze up with fear along with his entire body.

They snarled, relishing the fear that Jaune was emitting, ready to pounce on him if he so much makes a slight twitch.

Then she showed up. Dressed in a black robe and shawl.

Her skin is deathly pallor with dark purple veins lining her face and arms. Her eyes had jet black sclerae and glowing crimson irises that match the monsters around me. An odd choice of hairstyle, a bun with six offshoots wrapped together that also suspends several obsidian-colored ornaments.

She waved her hand, dispersing the monsters around me.

"There you are." Her voice was smooth, and gentle yet commanding. "Welcome Jaune, I've been expecting you."

What is she talking about?

"H-hi. How did you know my name?" The monster lady sounds kind, but he had no idea what is going on. "Why, um, am I here? No wait, I uh… So, um… Where am I?"

The monster lady smiled, "You're in the Land of Darkness. Come inside my castle, you must be tired after your flight. Let's continue our talk once we're inside."

She dodged the question and instead gave him even more questions.

Like why is there a castle in the middle of nowhere? And why is he following her?

His parents and older sisters always drilled into his head that one should never follow a stranger to an unknown or remote location like that giant ominous castle. But his weapon, Crocea Mors was left back at the house leaving him defenseless, and he can't really do anything but follow the mysterious lady.

He could try running away, but he'll have to get past all those monsters.

In other words, die.

So, he did what any reasonable person would do.

He followed her into the castle, quickly scuttering behind. The looming gothic castle was majestic, beautiful and daunting. Is she some sort of queen? This castle was somehow built in the middle of nowhere, full of monsters. How did construction get all the way out here?

Jaune couldn't help but marvel the interior of the castle. There were purple crystals glowing overhead attached to chandeliers and the hallways were adorned with those finely cut patterns.

"S-say Ms.…?"

"Call me Salem." She introduced herself, "And yes, I do live here. This is my castle, my domain. The Evernight Castle."

Names are important, but that doesn't tell Jaune much about who she is. Like, is she the queen of monsters or something?

"Nice to meet you, S-Salem." Jaune decided it would be polite to start off with a greeting, "Sorry to ask but w-what am I doing here? How do you –"

Salem smoothly turned her head, "You're here because you work for me now."

"Say what now?"

She must have gotten the wrong person.

"I am in need of your service. Someone who will aid me in my venture. Someone who I can rely on when the others are preoccupied with the tasks I have given them. That someone is you." Salem saunter to his side and pushed him forward to a near-empty chamber. "And I have something for you to assist you in your assignment."

Yeah, she definitely has the wrong person. Should he tell her that?

"Um. Why me?"

"Because you're the most perfect fit for this role, Jaune Arc." Salem vaguely answered.

Maybe she didn't get the wrong person? No, no. That makes no sense.

He doesn't remember applying for any position in this place. Was it the transcript? That wasn't a resume! And it was forged as well! No, wait. He dropped his transcript at the postal office, then got picked up by a flying monster soon afterward. There's no way mail service worked that fast, much less have an address for this place, right?

His thoughts were interrupted when he entered the chamber.

In the darkly lit room, a small crystal ball with tentacles tipped with bony spikes was floating in midair. It looked like a jellyfish and had the same color scheme as those monsters outside, only this one appears to be more docile in nature.

Further to the right of the jellyfish monster was a purple crystal table that contained a handful of accessories, mostly gloves and armor pieces.

Salem motioned at the jellyfish-like monster to come forth. It quickly floated towards her, stopping a meter away, bobbing up and down like a pet. It was bigger up close, the crystal ball part, which Jaune assumes to be its head and eye, was slightly bigger than his fist.

And Jaune will have to admit. It's kinda cute.

"What is it?"

"This is a Seer. A special one. It possesses certain abilities that no other Seers possess." Salem gently nudged it towards Jaune, "And it will be your companion." The Seer wrapped its tentacle around its appendages, coiling tightly till it looked like a scepter; albeit an edgy one. "Go on, take it."

He hesitantly reached out and grasp the 'stem', "It's warm…"

"It likes you." Salem nodded in satisfaction. She picked up a white glove with her emblem imprinted on the back and frowned, "I almost forgot. You've yet to unlock your aura." She placed a finger on his forehead, "Let's fix that."

"Huh? Uh… Gesundheit?"


Turns out that aura is a manifestation of one's soul. Basically, a personal shield that protects you from harm, and to some extent, the temperature. Aura empowers him, making him stronger, faster, reflexive… Maybe not that last bit yet.

At least, that's how Salem explained it to him.

His new employer was very kind and patient; helping him learn the ropes of this new job.

Not that he actually has much of a choice, to begin with since it was practically dumped on him out of nowhere…

"This is where you will be staying should you need a place to rest."

He was shown his own personal quarters and it was grandiose. The room was large. Larger than the family living room back at his house, and mind you, Jaune has seven sisters. The bed was fit for a king, and the carpets were made from the finest fabric imaginable.

He even got a large wardrobe closet full of high-quality silk clothing to cover the lack of belongs he had on him. The only thing he had with him was the clothes off his back.

"Whoa." Was all Jaune could say when he saw the wardrobe. "These look expensive."

Salem ignored his remark, handing him a key to his quarters. "There's a conference that will be taking place soon. I want you to change out of those clothes and into the ones I had provided you. Meet me in the east wing where the windows overlook the Grimm pools." She gracefully swept across the floor, already standing by the door. "If you're uncertain or lost, the Seer whom I assigned to you will assist you in finding your way."

"Thank you for everything." Jaune stuttered a bit on his thanks, mentally kicking himself as she left the room. "Smooth Jaune. Smooth."

He looked in the mirror and addressed his appearance. His Pumpkin Pete hoodie was slightly wrinkled, his blue jeans were slightly dusty, and his sneakers were unpolished. Yeah, not the best outfit to wear at a conference.

Then again. He didn't sign up for this in the first place, but it's best not to make Salem unhappy.

Oh god… What about his family? They must be freaking out by now. Will anything happen to them? Did they think he left four months early to Vale? What of his transcripts? So many questions Jaune has, but frustratingly can't ask. He's just too afraid to mention his family in front of Salem or anything personal for that matter.

Calm yourself, Jaune. Keep going. Brush those thoughts aside and look on the bright side for now.

He took a set out of the wardrobe, wondering who put them there in the first place, and entered the lavatory to change out his old clothing and relieve himself.

The Grimm Seer waited outside in the bedroom, uncoiling and lowering itself onto his bed. Waiting for its companion to finish changing.

"I don't look bad, do I?" Jaune asked himself as he came out of the lavatory, fiddling with his regal dark gray coat.

The Seer rose from its position and floated over to him. Just floating there in front of him.

Jaune curiously eyed it, "Got anything to say about my new look?"

It continued to float silently.

"… Right." Jaune hastily put on his new black shoes and made his way towards the door. "Um, follow me?" The Seer floated after him. "I suppose I should give you a nickname or something."

The Seer bobbed up and down.

"How about a temporary placeholder name for the time being? Carlos should be good."

It didn't seem to like that, crossing its tentacles in protest.

Oh, it did have a preference.

"Okay, okay. How about…" Jaune dived deep into his mind for a decent name that the Grimm would like. "Pythia! Does Pythia sound good?"

The Seer bobbed up and down, reverting to its 'staff' or 'wand' form.

Jaune pumped his fist in the air, "Nice. Let's go Pythia." He plucked the Grimm out of the air, "Don't want to keep Salem waiting."

He made sure the doors were locked before leaving and traveled down the corridors to the east wings. The castle wasn't that complex, but everything looks identical in this place. He nearly lost his way twice, but his trusty living GPS managed to pull him in the right direction.

Soon, he found Salem gazing out the window into the Land of Darkness. The shattered moon hung over the horizon, shining brightly over the land.

"I see you named the Seer I assigned you," Salem commented without turning her gaze from the window.

That didn't surprise him more than it should have.

"I thought it would be more benefitting if it had a name I could call it by." Jaune scratched his cheek, "So I named it Pythia."

She nodded, "A fitting name."


Salem pulled her gaze away from the window and eyed him. Looks like Ozma's surviving clothes fit the young lad.

"The clothes I provided fit. Excellent." She motioned for him to follow, "Come now. We have a meeting to attend to. Stay by my side and ignore the hectoring of my subordinates. They have the tendency to be malignant towards each other."

"Uh, that's okay." Jaune's body tensed a bit, "I'm uh… Use to such things."

"Regardless, do not be concern about their behavior." Salem's eyes flashed red, "I will ensure that they will leave you be." They stopped in front of two massive doors that lead to the conference hall. Already they could hear voices behind the doors. "It seems that they are at it again."

Salem effortlessly pushed the massive doors aside with a reverberating clang. The voices that were lively and mocking ceased immediately. Four people stood up respectfully as Salem entered the room, a room that contains one large crystal table surrounded by six wooden chairs; four of which were already taken.

Those four people eyed Jaune with curiosity. In turn, he gave them a side glance and silently followed Salem's lead, staying not far from her side.

Three males, one female.

Salem ignored them, taking interest in another crystal table behind her throne, one that was adorned with several white candles. It looked like it was some sort of shrine.

Jaune followed her gaze to the shrine, keeping up the appearance. The silence that floated around the air was thick and heavy.

Finally, Salem broke the silence.

"How goes your search for the Fall Maiden, Cinder?" Salem asked the young woman with black hair and bright amber eyes.

The Grimm Queen raised her hand, giving her subordinates permission to sit with only Cinder left standing.

Cinder composed herself before answering.

"I am close to finding her. Several reliable leads have provided me vital intel on her movement." Cinder said, "But I am currently seeking an apprentice or follower." Across from her, a lanky man with a mustache rolled his eyes. "Someone who will help me in my search of the Fall Maiden."

After giving her answers, Cinder immediately sat down.

"An extra hand will do you well in your search." Salem took her seat as well, leaving Jaune alone to stand by her side. He kept an impassive face while holding Pythia in his right hand. The Seer didn't seem to mind whichever position it is tilted in. "Especially when you're to finally confront her. Continue in your effort." She turned her attention to a scorpion faunus and a hulking man. "Tyrian, Hazel. How are things on your end?"

The scorpion faunus named Tyrian giggled madly, "It's been going very smoothly, your grace." He rubbed his hand together with glee, "Very, very smoothly! Eheh!"

What Remnant are they talking about? Some sort of search and rescue operation?


The burly man had his arms crossed, "Haven's Headmaster has been assisting me in tracking down the remaining huntsmen and huntresses. It'll take another few months before we can make our move."

So, they're looking for huntsmen for help?

The air lightens a bit as Salem smiled, "Good. I expect this sort of progress to continue." She turned to scorpion faunus, "Tyrian, I want you to start investigating the whereabouts of the Spring Maiden."

"Gladly." Tyrian rubbed his hands together.

"Hazel, continue working with Leonardo. Ensure that he keeps tabs on all the notable huntsmen throughout the kingdom. Prioritize the ones in Mistral first."

The large man nodded, "As you wish."

"Doctor Watts…" Salem eyed the lanky man with the mustache, "Continue with your work, but remain where you are after this. There are matters we must briefly discuss that require your expertise."

"Very well." The doctor rested back on his chair and clasped his hand in anticipation.

Jaune continued to stand still like a statue, occasionally shuffling his body a bit to keep his blood from flowing down to his feet. It was a good thing that this meeting was wrapping up otherwise he'll be feeling that prickly sensation on his feet all day.

"– and be prepare for the next phase." Salem finished, letting everyone but Watts to leave their chair. They have questions. Like who is that blond boy standing next to her, but it would soon be answered. "Before you all go allow me to introduce you to my emissary." That was Jaune's cue to step forward. "Jaune here will be relaying important messages from me and will be serving as my eyes and ears within the kingdoms. I expect all of you to treat him with respect."

"Of course." Tyrian stared intensively at Jaune with awe, "I would never disrespect the Goddess's messenger!" He introduced himself with a bow, "I am Tyrian Callows, a humble servant of the Queen."

"Hazel Rainart, a pleasure."

"Cinder Fall. I look forward to meeting you, Jaune."

"Doctor Arthur Watts. That's an interesting specimen you're holding there." Watts eyed the Grimm Seer that Jaune was holding.

He wasn't given a chance to actually introduce himself, but that was probably for the best seeing how unstable some of them are. With their brief introduction over, and everyone having something better to do, they all started to trickle out of the room.

Only one person seemed to have a keener interest in him than any of the other; Cinder ambled lightly to the doorway, her eyes lingering on him till Jaune was no longer in sight.

Then the massive wooden doors magically closed on its own leaving Jaune, Salem, and Watts in the conference hall.

Watts shifted in his seat, "What can I do for you, ma'am?"

The disgraced Atlesian doctor and scientist is a talented individual when it comes to technology and biology. His resourcefulness and expertise in those fields make him a very valuable asset within Salem's circle. He is essential to many of Salem's operations for this era, and it seems that Watts has another project he'll be working on.

"My emissary requires stable accommodations and endowments since he'll be residing in my domain for a substantial amount of time." The mistress of darkness got up from her throne, "The meals provided is not adequate for long term residences. See that it does."

Jaune was wondering how he would eat and drink. Furthermore, how would anyone be able to deliver tons of stuff in this Grimm infested land? Let's leave that to the experts.

Watts bowed, "And the endowment? How should that proceed?"

Salem slowly walked past Watts with Jaune trailing behind.

"My emissary will require funding if he were to travel. I understand that you're capable of allocating our finances without raising any questions. Ensure he has a way to access those funds, and a personal account for his earnings."

Does that mean he's getting paid? That's… Nice. Maybe he could save up and help his parents pay for his sisters' college education or something.

"Very good."

Watts stood up from his seat and followed them out.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Salem continued walking without glancing back, "While you are at it, amplified the Tower receivers. It's been having trouble receiving the signals transmitted by the CCT.

"Ah, it's that blasted security patch." Watts cleared his throat, "No matter, I will get to it immediately. Have a good day ma'am."

The doctor hurried away.

It's just Jaune and Salem now, slowly walking down the corridor in silence.

And that's how Jaune ended up being part of Salem's inner circle.


Qrow's semblance causes misfortune. It's always active and uncontrollable.

This is why he works alone to avoid endangering his people and in his free time, drinks his sorrow away. The risk was simply too great for his friends and families, especially when it comes to his nieces. It may be a sad life, but it was a purpose. A greater purpose is given to him by Ozpin, the ancient wizard who reincarnates each time he dies.

With the ability to turn into a bird, Qrow is able to sneak around the world undetected, acting as the eyes and ears for Ozpin. He's Ozpin's underdog, the man in the field. And his luck is about to take a huge dip when he decided to take a detour through the mountainous forest.

In the darken skies in his bird form, Qrow pivot pass a giant oak tree and spotted two unfamiliar looking Grimm flying hundreds of meters away.

They looked like Beringels with wings.

A never before seen Grimm before, or possibly a hybrid made by Salem. Qrow will have to investigate and report back to Ozpin on this new development. Maybe to Professor Port as well. The Grimm Studies professor would also be interested in his findings.

Just my luck. Qrow thought to himself, raising his altitude to follow the winged Beringels to the mountains. Where are they going?

The winged Beringels dropped to the ground and lumbered up a mountain summit.

Qrow silently sat on the tallest tree he could find and silently hop from branch to branch till they reached the highest peak.

I don't like where this is going.

Numerous of ground and airborne Grimm ran amok, forming a large parameter. The Creatures of Grimm don't actively attack animals, allowing Qrow to sneak past a juvenile Nevermore with ease. He would have tried to move in closer, but he does not want to test his luck.

Something is going on here, and it must be really important if all these Grimm are converging to this area.

And there it was, a blond hair boy holding a Grimm Seer in his hand like it was wand or scepter.

Qrow couldn't make out his face; the boy's back was turned on him. But the huntsman took note of the outfit he wore. A regal looking dark gray jacket, dark pants, black shoes, and a white glove on his left hand.

As the winged Beringels came to a halt behind the blond boy, every Grimm in his presence went completely silent.

Too sober. What did I get myself into? Qrow quickly suppressed his negative thoughts, or the Grimm will start to notice him.

The blond boy lifted the Grimm Seer and let it float in the air. It unraveled its tentacles and its orb started to swirl with a sickly red mist.

A deathly pale woman with purple vein and malevolent eyes started to form in the Seer's eye.


Qrow's heart jumped with fear, but he managed to keep his cool. He had never seen or heard the Queen of Grimm before, and despite her calm and gentle appearance, Qrow's instinct told him likewise.

There's no doubt about it. This boy is working for Salem and he must be really important as well.

"Hello, my Everknight. I had just received the shipment. It is in perfect condition." Salem said pleasingly, "You may proceed as planned."


"Yes, ma'am." The Everknight responded.

"Once you reach your destination and completed your mission, you are free to do as you please for the time being. However, I ask that you avoid Beacon for now."

Beacon? His destination must be Vale! Qrow's heart race when he heard that. One of his nieces was attending Beacon Academy! Shit! Gotta warn Oz!

The air was suddenly spiked with negativity. Salem, the Everknight, and every single Grimm within the area all snapped their attention towards a little crow nesting on a branch.


Qrow instantly bolted, evading several juvenile Nevermore. Within seconds, every airborne Grimm was after him. He soared high into the sky, followed by a horde of Grimm. In his crow form, his small stature allows him to nimbly avoid the Grimm that tried to snack on him.

However, the biggest threat in the skies was the winged Beringels.

Of all the Grimm made for flying, it's the winged gorillas that nearly got him. They were deceptively swift and powerful, forcing Qrow to change back to his human form.

He unsheathed his weapon from his back and used the recoil of its firing mechanism to propel himself while damaging the winged Beringels. The damage dealt was practically nonexistent. The bullets bounced off the winged Beringels' armored forearms, allowing them to continue their pursuit of the huntsman.

The odds were against him. There were too many Grimm, both in the air and ground.

Qrow needs to clear his mind, lay low, and then escape. With Salem's servant hanging around and possessing unknown capabilities, Qrow cannot afford to fight or stick around. He really needs to get out of there.

"Come here ugly." He shifted his weapon to scythe mode and spun it just in time to catch the arm of a winged Beringel. "You're going down with me!"

The other winged Beringel tried to help its arm locked brethren, but the Grimm and huntsman were already spiraling down towards the forest. The Grimm below quickly got out of their way, scattering as they hit the ground. The impact shattered a large nearby oak tree, making it collapse into the area, further obscuring the monsters' vision.

The Creatures of Grimm converged cautiously towards the crater, unable to sense the huntsman from earlier.

A fierce roar could be heard from the ground as the winged Beringel burst out from the rubble, angrily shattering stones and wood with its bare hand. The other Grimm backed away, letting the stronger Grimm exert its anger.

It's roaring quickly died, switching from anger to confusion. Where did the human go?

They growled in annoyance and searched the area, looking for the human that magically disappeared into thin air.


"I think we lost him."

"I wouldn't be surprised." Salem looked rather disinterested in this affair, calmly sipping her wine. "Qrow Branwen is one of dear Ozma's valuable chess piece. A talented huntsman, and a spy."

Jaune squinted his eyes, "Should we join in?"

"No need. Let the Grimm do their work. If he does escape, Ozma will know of our next move. We should take this time to move ahead of them. Continue with your mission, Everknight. See to the status of our Fall Maiden in Vale." She downed the entire goblet and poured herself another, "I heard she picked up some capable followers along the way."

Guess he'll meet up with Cinder this time.

"Understood. I'll be on my way then."

Salem smiled, "Good."

The Seer hissed, ending the transmission.

Pythia let out an unhappy hiss, pointing one of its tentacles at the Grimm search party below them. It wanted to join in on the search, probably because Pythia isn't happy that a huntsman managed to get close to them undetected.

Jaune shook his head, "Come on, Pythia. You heard what Salem said. Besides, it's been a while since we saw Cinder."

Vale, huh? And Beacon Academy too. It looks like he'll finally be able to go there, in some capacity or another. Now that he thought about it. It was silly of him to try and cheat his way into Beacon Academy with no prior training at all.

Oh well.

He might not be the hero he wanted to be. It was an idealistic dream anyway, but at least he gets paid well and doesn't have to worry about Grimm eating him. The work benefits outweigh being that of a huntsman!

You know, because huntsmen are supposed to fight Grimm and such.

A pity all of his coworkers are either crazy or murderous, maybe both at times. That, or they're Grimm, not counting Pythia. His Grimm Seer is the sole exception.


"… This is the life."


"You don't understand, Jaune!" Salem slammed her crystal goblet onto the table, "Ozma took the kids with him! Took my little girls with him to the afterlife!" She swiped her hand, blasting a hole in the wall. "Took them and left them there!"

Salem had let her hair down, looking very dishevel and depressed. She gets into this sort of mood when she gets fed up with something followed by her drunk rampage.

Which is why Jaune is here to listen to her woes and make sure she doesn't destroy everything and everyone in her drunken stupor. Unfortunately, that means he'll be sitting close to her when she starts blasting the castle with her magic.

"W-w-well. Have y-you tired…?"

"I did! But that stupid social worker bitch named Death! She, she…! ARGH!" She split the floor with a roar before taking a swig out of a bottle. "She thinks she's soooo smart, hiding my little girls away from me while Ozma gets to visit them each time he dies." She chugged the entire bottle of wine down and melted it with her bare hands. "Sorry Salem, you can't see your daughters right now. You have a FUCKING restraining order from the Gods! Well, fuck you too!"

She grabbed another wine bottle from the case and stabbed the cork with her nails.

"Have you t-two tried to ma –"

"I'm not making up with him until he says he's sorry!" She gulped down the entire content in one go.

Oh man, at this rate the castle will be destroyed again. Jaune whimpered mentally.

"I-I think you had e-enough, err…" Jaune shut his mouth as she glared at him.

"I'm going to kill Ozma."

"But h-he'll reincarnate." The ancient wizard reincarnates into another body after death, making her efforts moot.

"Then I'll destroy all the cocoa beans in the world. Yes…" Salem nodded happily, "I'll make his life miserable. Destroy his school, make him unemployed and homeless. Then I'll destroy every single coffee and chocolate in the world… He'll come begging to me."

Salem started cackling.

Cackling in such a manner that makes even Tyrian look sane.

"You two really need marriage counseling," Jaune muttered under his breath and called Pythia over. "Get a tiny Nevermore to deliver Ozma this message…"


Ozpin calmly drank from his mug full of hot chocolate while he sorted through the stack of mail on his desk, sliding them to his right, or into the trash if its junk.

Junk, junk, bill, junk, junk, this one is from Salem…

He slid a black letter with Salem's emblem onto his desk and continue sorting.

Junk, bill, bill, junk…

"Pffft!" Ozpin spat out his drink and fell back from his desk, crashing onto the floor with a loud bang.

"Sir! Are you alright?!" Glynda Goodwitch, his deputy came running in. Her weapon, which is a riding crop for some reason, was poised and ready. "Professor Ozpin?!" She breathed out a sigh of relief when Ozpin scrambled up from the floor, coughing. "Professor Ozpin, are you alright? What happened?"

"A letter…! From Salem!"

The room instantly went cold.

Glynda warily walked over to the headmaster's side. "From… Salem?! What should we do?"

"… Let's see what she wants." Ozpin opened the letter and silently read it.

His face suddenly went blank.

"P-professor Ozpin?" Glynda stared nervously at the headmaster.

"Marriage counseling?"

Pardon our grammar.

FUN FACT: The main character was originally Oscar since that would had made a lot more sense being Ozpin's next incarnation and all, but he didn't make the cut as the setting drags.