Prompt from Iwik


Chatter at the Pub


"Hey mate," Ron greeted his new pub friend as he took a seat beside him. "Whoa, that's a big smile you've got there." They hadn't known each other for a long time and they didn't know much about each other, they had simply started sitting near each other while watching football matches about four months ago and then slowly their male bond grew over shared nachos and pints of beer. Ron liked his new friend, he was quiet yet funny. Right now he had a huge smile on his face. "Oh, wait, I know what that smile is! You got laid, didn't you?"

"Better," Harry's grin grew wider.

"What's better than getting laid?"

"Meeting someone that wants to keep coming back for more," he winked cheekily.

"Oh, alright," Ron said, wanting to hear more. "You haven't mentioned anything about a girlfriend before, has it been a while?"

"It's been ages, but it was worth the wait."

"I know what that's like. Before I got together with my girlfriend my hand and I were all too familiar with each other." He waved to the bartender so that he could get his usual pint poured off. "So, what's she like?"

"Out of my league," Harry replied happily.

"Nah, I mean in bed," Ron teased.

Harry looked at him for a moment and Ron wasn't sure if he'd crossed a line with the question. He and his brothers might share some advice about different moves that work but not everyone did and there was a chance that Harry was finding the question offensive.

"Ah well," Harry shrugged, "she's already told me she said some stuff to her friends, guess I'm not breaking any rules by doing the same. Mate, it's incredible. Best I've ever had. She's up for literally anything, and she does most of the suggesting!" He took a tick to get a mouthful of his drink down. "I got all dressed up how they like for first dates and she shows up to the restaurant looking like sex on legs and I guess she liked that I was drooling a bit because she suggested we spend some time in the coatroom!"

"Wait, the coatroom? At the restaurant?" Ron was impressed. "I think you win the award for the most public place."

"I know, right? She got me in there and then dropped to her knees with no prompting."

"Wait, hold up, how did you get her to go from first date dinner to on her knees in a coat closet?" It sounded like a lie, Hermione certainly wouldn't ever do that and they'd been together for ages.

"If it hadn't have happened to me, I wouldn't believe it either," he said with his hands up, swearing the truth. "Thankfully we didn't get caught. But I guess that turned her on so we headed back to mine right after and I repaid the favor at the kitchen counter," he winked.

"Geez, I mean, I've done it in the kitchen before, but after being with someone for so long we have our most reliable places and positions, you know? I forget what it was like when we first got together and couldn't get enough of each other." He tried to recall the last time he just spontaneously dropped to his knees for Hermione, or even came up behind her to kiss her neck and cop a feel.

"I'm hoping this trend of shagging each other all over my flat keeps going, but it's still new, so, tell me, what are the 'most reliable' to you and yours?"

Ron grinned at him, where had the quiet Harry gone? This one was nearly vibrating with life now he'd gotten his dick wet.


Ron already had a plate of nachos and a quarter pint with another full one on standby in front of him when Harry showed up to catch the game.

"Hey, what'd I miss?" he asked as he sat down gently.

Too gently, and he readjusted himself in the seat a bit to get comfortable. Ron studied him curiously. "Just the pre-game." Harry adjusted himself a bit more. "Did she give you a rash or something? What are you doing?"

To his surprise, Harry blushed. "Er, have you ever tried 'manscaping'?"

"Manscaping? What is that? Some sex move that bungles up your privates?"

"Er, well, it's not unrelated. It's when you, you know… it's like doing a close shave on your face, except, not on your face." He was bright red now.

"What?! So you're saying you're a Ken Doll down there?" He'd given himself a trim before, but never gotten rid of the whole lot of it.

"I was, now it's growing back and it's bloody itchy."

"Ha! Was it worth it?" he laughed.

"It was worth it, now I'm not sure if I'm supposed to let it grow out again or just keep on shaving. It made my junk look bigger, which she really liked, and I really liked too because she brought a Polaroid camera one night-"

"What?! She brought a camera into the bedroom? And you were game for that?"

"Hell yes I was game for that! Now I have pictures of her in my nightstand. And we didn't do any with our faces in it, I'm not stupid. And it was fucking hot."

"I can't believe you're still going at it like bunnies with her. Haven't you two made it official now? Should things have calmed down after the first month?" Ron recalled the first two weeks of his and Hermione's dating life involving the two of them looking for any excuse to sneak away together, but after that it calmed way down.

"It's not like we get every night together. It's more like twice a week and she's very eager to try things. The other day she pulled out this pinwheel thing that had a bunch of positions on it, you spin the arrow thing and it tells you what position you're doing. Mate, it was the workout of my life. I'm amazed I was able to stay hard."

"How did you?" It wasn't like they were old, but they weren't teenagers anymore with erections that just wouldn't go away.

Harry grinned, "she's got a filthy mouth on her."

"Oh, I like it when there's some pornographic audio involved." It didn't happen often that he got Hermione worked up enough that she got mouthy while they were shagging. Maybe he should consider hitting up one of those sex shops to see if there was something he could do to spice things up. If it was something small then maybe she wouldn't get offended by it.


Harry was at the bar first this time, and he'd ordered up the full appetizer platter.

"Fantastic, I'm starving," Ron said as he slid into the bar seat beside him and started helping himself.

"When are you not hungry?" Harry joked.

"When my priorities are elsewhere." He checked the time left before kick-off. "Thanks for your suggestion by the way, I got one of those pinwheel things you were talking about and my girlfriend was very receptive to it."

Harry grinned. "Working your way up to a camera?"

"No need, I live with her, I can see her naked anytime I want. You're the poor bastard that can only get his rocks off, what did you say it was? Twice a week?"

"I'll take two days of fantastic sex a week than a full week of 'maybe I might get laid tonight' wondering. You said you live with your girlfriend, that doesn't mean you get to shag every night, does it?" he pointed out.

"True. Best I can hope for is every other night. Still, I had girlfriends before her and I'd take what I've got with her now over finding someone else to screw because it's 'exciting'." He was happy with Hermione, he was sure she was the one he was going to spend his life with, he just needed to save up enough to get her the ring she deserved.

His friend got quiet then and started slowly eating from the platter.

Ron wasn't sure if he'd just turned the night into a bummer of an evening, or if he'd just insulted his friend somehow. He hadn't intentionally said that to belittle the 'early stages of relationship' bliss that Harry was experiencing, he was more trying to remind himself that while Harry's story of his exploits with his new girl were all full of kinky fuckery, he still had it better than he could possibly hope for with his, hopefully, future wife.

"Hey, look, I didn't mean to piss all over-" Ron started.

"No, no, it's fine. And honestly, I've never chatted about this kind of stuff with, well, anyone before," Harry told him. "If I've been going on about it too much, just tell me to stuff it and change the subject."

"I'm not telling you to stop talking, I've got brothers, we've all talked about what we get up to, and you have given me a few ideas with your stories so don't worry about it." He gave Harry a pat on the back. "Have you really never had a friend or someone that you could yak to about this stuff? Never shared stories with dormmates or anything?"

"Never lived in a dorm," Harry shrugged. "I lived at home through school to save money, and I'm an only child. I've got a few good friends, but we don't talk about our sex lives."

Ron clutched one of his hands over his heart dramatically. "Awe, does that mean that I'm officially your best mate?"

Harry laughed at him. "Yeah, I guess it does."

He lifted up his pint in cheers and clinked it against Harry's to make it official. "Good," he said after taking a sip. "I've always wanted a best mate that I met at a bar and knows next to nothing about my personal life."

"And yet you know well more than anyone else what my personal life is like," Harry said.

"Yeah, banging your girlfriend on every possible occasion and in every possible position. Yak, yak, yak. Come on, the games about to start."

"I'll tell you all about the time in the shower at first intermission," Harry grinned.


Ron loosened his tie as they stepped into the club, his other hand was being held by Hermione, who was leading them through the mass of people toward the dance floor. They'd just come from one of her work events and were all dressed up for it, she looked great in her dress and had put in a lot of effort in her hair and said she didn't want to waste it. So here they were, at a nightclub, because she wanted to get drinks that cost ten quid and dance.

He wasn't a great dancer, but if it was the kind where she just wanted to move against him due to the limited amount of dance floor space, then he was game.

It was dark in here and the only good light was coming from the black light that was making people's teeth glow like the Cheshire Cat. And apparently his girlfriend was wearing white knickers and the fabric on her dress was not as solid as it had first appeared because he could see the glow from her knickers through the dress ever so slightly.

They'd had a few drinks at her work function so it was straight to the floor for them where she wrapped her arms around his neck with a big smile and started them off with their interpretive dancing.

In this moment he didn't know why he disliked the idea of nightclubs so much; no one was paying them any mind and they could start snogging the daylights out of each other whilst grinding in public and it would be considered okay.

Three songs in and he was wondering if she'd be game to skip off to the loo for a quicky. He took a look around to see where the toilets might be when his attention was caught on the glowing, literally, smile of his little sister.

It was strange to see her in a place like this. He equated her with football fields and his mother's kitchen. She was of age, and had been for a while, but she was still 'little' Ginny to him. He certainly wasn't prepared to see her being spun around by the guy she was dancing with and then start kissing him.

"Hey," he said to Hermione, "Ginny's here with some guy."

"She is? Where?"

He pointed in her direction in time to see his sister and her date coming up for air, then he got a proper look at the guy, and recognized him too. Before he knew it, he had let go of Hermione and was pushing his way through the sea of people to them and gave the guy a hard shove.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Ron asked Harry.

"Hey!" Harry said in protest before recognizing his assaulter. "Ron?"

"Yeah. And I asked you what you think you're doing with her?"

"Ron?" Ginny shouted and gave him a push in the arm. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Wait, you know Ron?" Harry asked her.

"Of course I do, he's my brother."

"What?!" Harry looked horrified.

"Yeah, I'm her brother," Ron yelled at him, "so secrets out. Cheat on your girlfriend all you want, but not with my sister."

"Excuse me?" Ginny screamed and rounded on Harry. "You have another girlfriend and you haven't bothered to tell me this?"

"No I don't have another girlfriend!" Harry shouted at Ron.

"Oh really? You expect me to believe all those stories you told me were about Ginny?" And as soon as he said it he realized his mistake. Had the lighting in the club not been so low all three of them were bound to have been turning a glorious shade of red.

Harry had been talking about Ginny.

The girlfriend in the coat closet, the one that had the same spin-wheel sex act board that he did, the one from the shower that Harry had manscaped for, they were all his little sister.

"This is your friend from the pub?" Hermione asked loudly over the music. "And Ginny, he's your boyfriend?" Then she started laughing. "Oh! This must be so embarrassing for you all," she said through tears of mirth.

"No," Ron shook his head, not wanting to believe it. "No, tell me it wasn't Ginny you were talking about," he begged of Harry.

Harry said nothing, he just looked to Ginny for guidance.

"I think we're leaving," Ginny shouted and took Harry by the hand, heading for the door.

Ron watched them leave and looked back at his girlfriend, who was still chuckling. "It's not funny!" he complained, then grabbed her hand so they could follow after the other two.

Hermione kept calling his name but he didn't slow down until they were outside and had caught up to the two of them.

"Ron, honestly, what are you doing? They're both adults in a relationship. He's hardly the first person she's ever been with," Hermione protested.

"No. I refuse to believe it. She is young and impressionable and he's the one that's convinced her to behave the way she has," he said firmly.

"Is that so?" Ginny asked him. "You really think that I'm too young to be having sex? When you're only a year older than me and living with your girlfriend? Are you asking me to buy that you two have separate beds? Are you still a virgin?"

"He's definitely not," Hermione snorted.

Ron made a face at her to ask her to stop 'helping', normally he enjoyed it when she had a few too many drinks and got silly but this was not the right time for it.

"Definitely not," Ginny repeated with interest. "And tell me, Hermione, what does 'definitely not' mean exactly? Is there anything the two of you haven't tried in your four years long relationship?" She asked this while staring Ron down.

And Ron was balking. Hermione was truth serum level drunk and was going to answer that with no sense of propriety.

"Oh please, we worked our way through the Kama Sutra in our first year of shagging," she said openly. "I've let him do things I would never have dreamed of doing before I met him."

This was a losing battle. He put a hand to his face. "Okay, both of you, stop. There is a difference, okay?" he started.

"If you're about to say anything about my being younger than you or female I will hurt you," Ginny threatened.

"No! The difference is that Hermione and I are in a committed relationship! I'm going to marry her one day. Can you say the same about him?"

"And did you know you were going to marry her when you were working your way through the Kama Sutra?" Ginny turned it around. "Or were you just happy that you had a girlfriend that would let you take her up the duff?"

"Okay, whoa, hold on," Harry jumped in. "Look, mate, had I known she was your sister I wouldn't have told you any of that stuff. I like her, a lot, you know that I do. I'm a bit surprised she didn't tell me that one of her many brothers lived in the area," he said to Ginny, "but how about I just promise to never tell you anything more about what goes on between the two of us and we can just let it be?"

He wanted desperately to snarl at them both that it wasn't okay and that they needed to break up because Ginny was joining a nunnery first thing tomorrow, but he knew he had no control over her life and she was grown up enough to make her own decisions. Plus, he liked Harry, they'd gotten on great and claimed they were best mates; they cheers'd over it.

"You swear this is about more than just sex?" he asked of Harry.

"Yes," he replied immediately. "I'm sorry now that I told you about any of those stories, and I'm sorry now that I didn't talk more about the proper relationship side of it but I'm hardly going to retain my man card by waxing poetic about her at a pub."

"Awe, you want to wax poetic about me?" Ginny grinned and linked her arm around Harry's.

The way they were looking at each other was making Ron nauseous, which he knew meant that they really fancied each other.

"Fine," he relented. "But no more stories!" he said firmly to Harry, pointing a finger at him threateningly.

"No more stories," he promised. "And, er, you swear you won't mention it to the rest of your brothers?"

"Are you kidding? I can't share that with them, they'd kill me for not doing anything about it. I'm going right back to pretending that she's saving herself for marriage."

Ginny rolled her eyes at him, "whatever works for you. Now, we're leaving. Good night. Hermione, I'll call you tomorrow to talk about how you're going to be my sister-in-law."

Ron turned sharply to his girlfriend then, she was looking up at him like he'd just offered her the moon.

"You want to marry me one day?" she asked, grinning from ear to ear.

He smiled back down at her. "What are the chances you'll have forgotten all about this in the morning so I can still keep it a surprise for you when I'm ready to ask?"

"Fifty-fifty," she told him, then pulled him down to her level for a kiss.