Title: Twelfth Use Of Dragon's Blood
Author: Wonderland Toy
Summary: Draco and Hermione do not have a conversation in the library. No, really.
Archive: ::snort:: yeah, right. If you want to I would be so completely thrilled. Email me first, obviously, so I can go and visit and bookmark your site and gloat disgustingly every time I go to it. It's okay, you don't have to watch me gloat.
Feedback: Why do people even put this in the start of their stories? I mean, it's not as if someone actually writes "No thanks, not for me". Odd.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling and has been defiled by Warner Bros. Please don't sue, all you'll get is a Slytherin fridge magnet and a fish named Ziggy.
Author's Note: This is what happens when you reminisce about your days as a D/Hr shipper. You start to write D/Hr again. Ah well.
The twelfth and most obscure use for dragon's blood is
Hermione stared at her parchment in dismay. Eleven uses for dragon's blood. She'd been through three hours of research and half a packet of chocolate biscuits and she was still stuck on the stupid twelfth use of dragon's blood.
She glanced across the table at the person who most certainly was not her research partner and sighed. Time to admit defeat.
"If," she began, staring fixedly at the portrait of Uric the Oddball on the opposite wall, "there was anyone other than a Slytherin at this table, I would be asking them if they knew of the twelfth use of dragon's blood."
Draco Malfoy smirked. (Which was naturally of no interest to her, as he had absolutely nothing to do with her whatsoever. Where he chose to sit in his free time was his own business.) "If I was asked a question like that by someone with a more suitable lineage," Draco replied, eyes fixed on his book, "I would tell them that dragon's blood is used to animate painted images, such as in paintings and photographs. Then I would recommend that they read page 265 in this book." A large, leather bound grimoire thudded on to the table.
The (most certainly not a) conversation lapsed, the silence in the library broken only by the whisper of turning pages and Hermione's quill scratching across the parchment. She cleared her throat.
"If I had received help just then I'd be thanking the helper, as the information I was just given proved very useful. However as there is no one at this table I would ever talk to the sentiment is wasted."
"As I would never help someone who was Muggleborn I would never have the opportunity to say don't mention it." He paused, toying with his quill. "Hypothetically, though, if there was someone at this table of an acceptable house and background I'd be asking them if I could borrow their copy of the latest Terry Pratchett book. Which I would, naturally, never do, as I don't read books by Muggle authors."
"My copy of the hypothetically mentioned book would be sliding across the table towards the hypothetical speaker, as long as he was not a bigoted little creep."
"Anyone but a bushy-haired know-it-all would be thanked and given The Last of The Mohicans."
"If someone lent me that particular book I'd be smiling with pleasure as I've been trying for ages to get my hands on a copy. But sadly that wouldn't happen, as I'm the only person at this table I'd ever consider talking to."
"Nor would I be reading a Muggle book as the whole hypothetical conversation in question is utterly ridiculous and would never occur."
"Of course."
"Naturally."
The library was silent again. At the front desk, Madame Pince continued with her cataloguing and studiously ignored the two people in the corner reading novels and pretending they weren't sharing half a packet of chocolate biscuits.