A/N: I am so sorry! I meant to update ages ago. In fact, this has been sitting on my computer, completely finished and beta'd (by the fantabulous Icarus :D) for more than a month. So, in conclusion, I just kind of suck. :( Sorry.

Maria- Rest assured, I am slow (good heavens, but I'm slow) but I will see this to the bitter end. And poor Percy, indeed. :( pets him As for Harry, well, I've never been able to stand the thought that he is anything but a puddle of goodness and light, no matter how much he may speak in all caps.

vejgeta9- Thank you! And, um, here?

Silver-Entrantress-Elf- Yay! Updated just for you! And, um, the half-dozen peolpe threatening me with eviceration and exsanguination. eheh. er.

WildRose04- I am so sorry that I am such a big bowl of suck. I mean to update. Really, I do. munches cookie eats flaming olive burns tongue

kacia- Yeah, I was telling one of my LJ friends: It is all about the MaCPLo. The mad, crazy Percy love. And yes, dammit, we need snogging! pokes Percy with a pointy stick

Draco MalfoyGirl 16- EEE! Thank you so much!

Mikhyel- Oh, how I pray that is the case. crosses fingers And Bitchy!Harry just isn't that fun. :( Unless, like, he's Percy's bitch. :D

KaylaisEvenstar- S'okay. That is nothing, that girl (points) is saying there is an angry mob with torches. -- I'm so sorry.

Percylover(kristina)- Well, I love your name. It is very nice. kisses bump on your head

catsncritters- A couple months? Er, yeah, that's it. Um, er, flees

dea puella -The puppy doesn't like me? sniffle I hate being the cliche of a writer. I never update and require a lot of maintenence and constantly go "ooh! Shiny!" -- is contrite

LLaBella, and Thyme, and Sabby-chan Yaoi Fan, and LOTRfreak85, and CrazyForYou, and Grace James, and SweetHoney863, and Benjis VIP, and o┬┤sullivan, and Ogre At Seven am, and tisay, and Squrlie Jack, and faer, and BehindGreenEyes Thank you!

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----------------Here it is, in all of its edited glory, "PERCY: The Musical."----------------

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Afterward, of course, Percy realized that the whole thing had been hopeless from the beginning. He'd never had any hope of escaping the situation unscathed, or, rather, un-kissed. Exploding-snap had worn down the defenses of many greater men than he. And who could fault someone a good luck kiss? He hadn't a leg to stand upon, really. Was he to forbid Harry to thank him or to wish him luck? Was he to go to Dumbledore and press sexual harassment? That would be a laugh. "Sir, Harry seems to have forgiven my gross betrayal and has taken to kissing me for luck. Could you possibly make him stop?"

The walk to the headmaster's office took no time at all, and he had barely got his head wrapped around the idea that it was, apparently, going to be an on-going thing, when he reached the door to the office. Fudge, unfortunately, was already there. As were several Aurors, standing in a line facing the headmaster's desk, for a reason that Percy could not discern. He recognized Therber from the Christmas party committee and the blonde one looked familiar, but the way that they were glaring at the room in general and Percy in particular made him decide that a cheery "Hullo" might not be the best thing. Fudge was in the seat that Percy had held earlier that morning and the bowler-hat-shaped stain from Percy's spilt tea was peeking out from beneath his robes.

The smile that the minister wore was not large and fake, as Percy had expected. It was, in fact, a nasty little smirk of a smile that reminded him forcibly of the Malfoy wretch with whom he'd gone to school for a couple of years. The headmaster gestured for him to take the other chair and he sat, uncomfortable that he could no longer see the Aurors lined up against the wall behind him. They'd looked angry.

"I am truly dismayed to hear, Headmaster, that the safe-guards in place for young Mister Potter proved ineffectual. But you must admit that this was a trouble we had no reason to believe might occur." Fudge leaned back in his chair easily, as though he had a quite good hand of cards and didn't care who knew.

The headmaster looked dubiously over his glasses at the minister and said, "While it is true that the nature of this difficulty was unexpected, it seems that we have had opportunity to correct the situation, but have not done so. I have been talking to Arabella, Cornelius. She had some interesting tales to tell after one of my teachers helped to unspell her memory."

"No doubt, Professor, no doubt. The whole thing is a travesty, really. But then, who would have thought such a thing of a fine, upstanding member of the ministry? Could anyone be expected to uncover this plot, so obviously tinged with dark magic?"

It was at this point that Percy lost the thread of conversation. Why wasn't the minister defending himself or denying his involvement? Why on earth was Fudge referring to himself as one might a distant acquaintance? What could he possibly mean by admitting connection to dark forces? Were there any dark forces to speak of, now that You-Know-Who had been vanquished? His supporters were--

"Cornelius, I'm going to have to ask that you discontinue this insult upon my intelligence. Attempting to attach the blame to this young man will do you no good at all. The truth is painfully obvious." The headmaster sighed.

"On the contrary, Professor. These fine Aurors who stand before you have discovered the truth, the truth of which this traitor has so handily left evidence in the form of this briefcase." The minister was positively gleeful now. Percy felt slightly dizzy as he suddenly saw what was happening.

The minister beckoned to one of the Aurors, a tall black man that looked like he could break Percy in half with one hand, who stepped forward and brought with him something that made Percy's stomach drop. He recognized that black leather, those gold initials. The Auror carefully placed the briefcase upon Dumbledore's desk.

"Auror Shacklebolt, if you would be so kind as to elucidate? Since the Minister seems to be confining himself to innuendo and riddles?" The Headmaster leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers.

The Auror straightened and recited, "At approximately eight-thirty p.m. yesterday the Minister requested an emergency meeting of the Aurors Council after he became concerned that one Percival Robert Weasley had been dispatched to see to the condition of one Harry James Potter and then failed to return." Here the Auror nodded at the Minister as if to commend him for his brilliant thinking.

He continued, "It was the decision of that Council to immediately investigate to discern the status of Potter. I was a member of the team that went to the Dursley residence and discovered that, approximately seven hours earlier, the minor in question had been removed from the safety of his family by a person or persons unknown. We returned to the Ministry and found a briefcase that has been identified by many as belonging to Weasley." The Auror tapped the briefcase meaningfully.

"Inside of the briefcase," Shacklebolt said, "were numerous documents which gave my team reason to suspect his guilt in this matter. There were also documents of a nature that led us to make a connection between Weasley and the followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. For these reasons we are here to retrieve Weasley for questioning. We are not arresting him at this point, but are prepared to do so if he does not choose to accompany us of his own free will."

The blond Auror smiled evilly at Percy, who swallowed.

"Is that so?" asked the Headmaster mildly. "This is most grave indeed." Percy whimpered.

"Well," said Fudge, rising from his chair, "I think that does it. Now that Weasley's here we'll just be off. Thank you, Headmaster, for your cooperation. Shacklebolt, if you would restrain Weasley for Apparition?"

Percy shrunk down in his seat, trying to make himself invisible as the Minister turned towards him. Alas, Percy had never been very good at the higher levels of glamours and concealment charms so he only shimmered a bit. "Resisting arrest!" crowed the minister.

The one called Shacklebolt lifted him out of his chair with one hand, spelling him with the other so thoroughly that he could hardly feel his hands and feet, let alone move them. Percy couldn't comprehend why the Headmaster was just sitting there looking thoughtful.

He tried to say something, but found that he couldn't do that either. Another of the Aurors grabbed onto his arms and he felt himself begin to fall over from being unable to move to balance. He had less than a second in which to properly panic before his surroundings disappeared with a soft "pop."