Resources for healing from sexual trauma are as followed:
And my DMs here and on my Facebook. My page is LiterarianRose FanFic
I hope this helps someone heal, if even just a little bit.
I'm starting a Paralegal Program soon, so I'm hoping to still update every two weeks. We will see how it goes.
As soon as Narcissa and Hermione landed in the Sanctuary Suite, Narcissa was dropping her hand from Hermione's elbow and backing away in order to give Hermione time to acclimate herself to her surroundings. Narcissa's brow immediately furrowed with worry as she looked at Hermione. Her fox eyes are keen, but one can only tell so much from the ground while the witch in question is seated for almost the entire visit. Hermione's eyes were now squeezed shut, and her right hand was rubbing furiously at her left elbow, her nails even breaking her skin.
"Hermione, I need you to stop hurting yourself," Narcissa's calm voice filtered through the air, and the words slowly processed through Hermione's mind. The only indication that Hermione had heard, however, was that she made an effort to not scratch with her nails, but rather rub with the palm of her hand. She also stopped scrunching her eyes quite so tightly.
Narcissa moved to sit on the window bench, which happened to be sandwiched between floor-to-ceiling bookcases filled with as many books as the shelves could fit. Narcissa was hoping that if, but hopefully when, Hermione looked at her, the number of books around her would be comforting. Narcissa sat on the bench quietly for only a moment, and then realized that the girl might be comforted if it was obvious as to where she was sitting, so she started humming the Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. Thirteen minutes passed before Hermione opened her eyes and stopped rubbing her arm raw, but though Narcissa was acutely aware of these occurrences, she did not cease in her humming. Just as she was finishing the last note of the sonata two minutes later, she heard Hermione take a breath.
"I… I…" Hermione was stammering as tears streamed down her face. Narcissa made it a point to keep her face as calming and understanding as she could, but the worry would not fall from her features. "I… I don't know how to stop."
At the admission, the final stitch that was holding Hermione together seemed to snap, and she crumbled to the ground in a heap and wailed—truly wept for everything Dolohov had done to her and everything she had done to herself in the wake of Dolohov. Narcissa had known how bad the situation was, but watching Hermione break like this, watching her admit that she didn't know how to do anything other than self-destruct, Narcissa knew that this was the first time Hermione was really feeling her emotions.
At the end of the hall, Theo was busy throwing up a mufliato spell between the Sanctuary Suite and the end of the corridor, where he was currently holding an irate and inconsolable Draco against the wall. He knew that he should have kept Draco away from here as soon as Draco had needled Tilly until she revealed that Narcissa was bring Hermione to the Sanctuary Suite and that Maggie had gone off to Professor Snape to gather healing supplies. As Theo took a fist to the face, he thought back on how they had ended up here in less than 30 minutes.
Theo was rudely pulled from his studies as Draco stormed into his room. In truth, Theo's anxiety immediately flooded through his body before he realized that it was Draco and not his father. Before his anxiety could leave his body, Draco had taken up a vase and hurled it at a wall. When Theo pulled his eyes away from the shattered glass to look at Draco, he could not help the horrible thought that invaded his mind. Hermione had killed herself.
"Drake… Draco, mate," Theo's voice was small, not at all what he was bred to be. Theo couldn't help thinking his father would be so disappointed at the emotion in Theo's voice. Internally, Theo laughed—his father would have been irate if he knew why Theo's voice was coated in worry.
Draco did not cease his pacing, and Theo jumped when Draco swept his arm across a desk and sent books and scrolls scattering to the ground. As Draco went to turn over a table, Theo stepped in front of him.
"Draco, mate!" Theo pushed Draco and sent him tumbling to the ground. "What the fuck is wrong!? What happened!?"
Draco looked up at Theo from the ground, and the anger that had been coursing through his system was replaced with anxiety and worry.
"Mother has gone to collect her."
"She has what? Already? But the, the preparations. Has anything been done?" Theo continued to rattle off questions and theories on why Narcissa had gone to collect Hermione without letting either of them know and what exactly was supposed to be done. "Wait, how do you know? Did she tell you?"
It was Theo's turn to pace now as Draco collected himself off of the ground and plopped himself into an armchair.
"I got it out of Tilly. The house elves were… well they weren't scrambling because Malfoy elves don't scramble, but they were rushing about and murmuring about Mother this morning." Draco swallowed before continuing. "I just dismissed it at first. I had been told that Vippy had been injured. I just assumed that they were talking about Mother's reaction and how she probably healed him herself. But then…" Draco slumped forward and put his head in his hands. "Then I heard that Maggie had gone to Severus."
The silence that followed that statement was eerie. Maggie never the left the house unless tasked with something that Narcissa would rather do herself. Maggie was practically an extension of Narcissa, even Lucius had not dared to say a word against Maggie or lift a finger against her. It was Theo who broke the silence first.
"Maggie went to Snape?"
All Draco could do was nod.
"But… Your mother brews almost all of her own potions, even the pretty complicated one. She has stores of potions here." Theo paced to the door but was surprised that he was halted by Draco's hand on his bicep.
"Maggie was reminded of whose elf she is, of what house she belongs to. The other elves were talking about it. She was ordered to give no answers to Snape, even under threat." Draco shook his head before finally dropping his hand from Theo's arm. "The elves are shaken. Mother has declared that any threats to Maggie or any harm from him to her is an act of war against House of Black."
Theo could not help but stagger back and grope for support from anything behind him. Never, absolutely NEVER, had a House taken a stance like this for a house elf, not to his knowledge. Even the most loving and gentle houses did not go to such great lengths for the protection of an elf. Narcissa had given Maggie an order, and no doubt would Maggie follow the order to the letter. He also knew Snape, and he knew that Snape would be frustrated with Narcissa for not allowing Maggie to provide him only answers, only demand potions. Snape also had a temper. He wouldn't be able to help himself from making threats against Maggie, which meant the House of Prince and House of Black would be at odds by the end of the morning.
The silence had descended upon them again, but this one was seeping into their bones and into the floorboards. It was only when Tilly appeared with a crack, followed by a gasp, that the pair looked up from their chosen staring points.
"Master? Masters? Is you needing this cleaned up?"
"No. No, Tilly. I will clean it up." Draco stammered out. "Have you news?"
"Tilly came to tell Masters that the Sanctuary Suite has…"
"The Sanctuary Suite!?" Theo's voice pierced the air. "The SANCTUARY SUITE! What does your mother know that we don't?" Theo stood, panting and staring at Draco in question.
Tilly had backed up at Theo's outburst, but with a nod from Draco, she stepped forward and continued.
"As Tilly was saying. The Sanctuary Suite has been prepared with the girl in mind. Rich blues and maroons were chosen for colors. Open concept to make it welcoming. All House heirlooms have been removed, as Mistress requested. The shelves have been filled with both Muggle and Magical books alike."
Theo still stood there, staring at Draco. The Suite had been prepared in a way that would comfort the Hermione that the vast majority of the world knew. Heck, he would have prepared it this way. He knew she liked rich colors, especially blue, because she was often found wearing it on the weekends or any time she was out of uniform. Everyone knew she was a book lover. With the trauma from Dolohov, it would stand to reason that she would be claustrophobic.
The Sanctuary Suite was distressing for certain reasons. The room was warded to alert the Mistress of the house and Maggie if the occupant tried to harm themselves. The room was imbued with a spell of Narcissa's own design; the spell was similar to the Patronus Charm, but it still allowed negative thoughts. The spell was designed to help your mind come to terms with the negative thoughts and encourage your mind to think of happier memories. If Narcissa had specifically ordered the Sanctuary Suite to be prepared, she knew much more about her condition than either him or Draco.
Just as Theo was arriving at the anxiety-inducing conclusion that Hermione was worse than they had thought, Draco jerked to attention and hastened to the door of Theo's rooms.
"Mother is back with Granger. I felt the wards."
"DRACO!" Theo shouted as he once again slammed his friend into the wall. "If she sees you like, she is going to be a panicked mess. She was terrified of me. She offered herself to me for my silence. She thought that I wanted to rape her. She tried to kill herse..."
Theo groaned as his words were apparently not chosen wisely since Draco thrust a knee into his groin and slipped his grasp. Before Draco got very far, however, Theo was throwing out an incarcerous. Draco fell to the ground with a grunt and immediately started cursing Theo. Theo simply stood, wincing in the aftershocks of pain.
"Mate. She was terrified when you were pissy with me. Do you really think you rushing in there like this, furious with the world, is going to help her?"
Draco grumpily rolled over onto his back and sat up. Reaching for the binds around his ankles and growled in frustration at Theo.
"Do you promise not to go running down the hall if I release you?"
Theo was met with a glare, but eventually, Draco nodded his head in concession. Theo waved his wand at Draco, releasing the ropes, and then slid down the wall behind him. Draco stood and turned to face down the hall towards Hermione's broken screams and sobs. Twenty minutes must have passed, and by that time, Theo's face had completely fallen in distress and worry for the witch, and Draco had collapsed onto his knees as he knew that he could do nothing for the girl that was in so much pain.
"Tilly," Narcissa's voice rang out amongst the sobs from Hermione. It was only a moment before the elf was appearing at her mistress's side, her eyes immediately flying to the witch who was curled in on herself in anguished sobs. "Tilly, has Maggie returned from Severus's yet?"
"Maggie has brought some supplies back that you requested, Mistress, but she went back. Master Snape needed to brew some of the salves and draughts that you requested, Mistress."
Narcissa couldn't help but to sigh in frustration. She had sent Maggie to Severus for the sole reason that the man was always beyond prepared for anything. It was unfathomable that he did not have all that she had requested, especially with Voldemort so freshly defeated.
"Very well, Tilly. Will you bring everything that Maggie brought back to me? Will you also prepare a weak chamomile tea for Miss Granger?"
Tilly nodded and disappeared with a crack, causing Hermione's sobs to halt. What followed was a deathly quiet. One that would be pierced by Hermione's scream when Tilly popped back with everything Narcissa had requested.
"Miss Granger, I understand the fear of the noise. Of that, I assure you." Narcissa rubbed her temples. She could not sound annoyed with the girl; it would just cause Hermione to not trust her. "I apologize for my tone. I understand your association of the crack of a house elf appearing to the sound of… to the sound of a whip. However, Tilly and Maggie are the only ones allowed in these chambers. If you call for an elf, only these two will be allowed to enter."
Narcissa sighed as Hermione stilled looked at her with terror in her eyes and had backed up against the nearest surface, which just so happened to be the bed. Narcissa started to stand in order to find the potion that she was looking for, but at the movement, Hermione had released a low whimper. She lowered herself back onto the window seat and summoned the potion. She really would have rather not used magic, as she was sure that Hermione's strongest memories surrounding magic at the moment were of the magic that Dolohov had used on her when he had her captive.
"If I measure this out for you, will you take it?" Narcissa was met with a shake of a head. "Hermione, I'm sure you have been given a nutrition potion before at Hogwarts. This will be identical to the ones you have had before as this one was brewed by the same per…"
Hermione was instantly scrambling on her knees towards Narcissa, "You told someone! Why? They can't…" Hermione's hands went to her hair and started twisting and pulling. "McGonagall will come. She'll tell Harry and Ron." Hermione's eyes flashed to Narcissa's. "Oh no… Mrs. Weasley…"
Narcissa was taken aback. She had not expected this reaction. She had thought it would be comforting to know that the potion would have the same magical energy surrounding it as the ones she had taken before. She thought it would be comforting to the girl to know that the potion she was to take was made by the best Potions Master that had lived in quite some time. She had not thought that the mention of another would cause the girl to dissolve once again.
"Miss Granger," Narcissa tried, "Hermione, I have told no one of your… condition or predicament that you are in, that you have been forced into. I simply demanded an old friend to provide me with everything I need to care for you. I assure you; Severus knows nothing of even who these potions are for. If he seeks the information which I forbade him, it is an act of war against the House of Black. I'm sure you understand what that means?"
Hermione nodded—a movement almost imperceptible.
"Very good. Now, as I was saying. Will you take some nutrition potion if I measure it out for you? It will be only a quarter dose. I cannot afford to shock your system and have you reject it." Hermione continued to stare at her but with less fear and more apprehension. "I would also request that you take a few sips of the chamomile tea that Tilly has prepared for you. I understand that your stomach is easy to turn at the moment, so it is a weaker brew."
When Hermione slowly nodded in acknowledgement to Narcissa's words, Narcissa measured out a little bit of the nutrition potion and sent it floating towards Hermione, who caught the cup in her shaking hands. With a glance at Narcissa, Hermione brought the cup to her lips and poured the small portion into her mouth. Hermione noted that it was the exact brew that she had taken in the Hospital Wing from Madame Pomfrey. It comforted her to know that Narcissa had been telling the truth. When she had swallowed, she looked at Narcissa and could not help the rush that went through her at seeing Narcissa so… proud of her.
"Now for the tea, Hermione. I have only poured you a few sips." Narcissa sent the next cup floating towards the girl, and when Hermione had accepted the next one from her position on the floor, Narcissa summoned a Dreamless Sleep Potion from the collection of draughts that she had requested of Severus.
"If you would like, Hermione, I have prepared a wardrobe for you here." Hermione instantly blanched and almost dropped the teacup. "I assure you, Hermione, that the wardrobe I have prepared is almost entirely Muggle in nature. Most of what is in it at the moment consists of pajamas and lounge wear, as you are to do absolutely nothing besides try to get better." Narcissa heard a sniffle from the girl, and though her heart broke even more, she rolled her shoulders and continued on. "I, myself, would be willing to assist you in changing into some warm clothes that will trap your body heat, or you may request an elf to help you. I would like you to change into warm clothes, though. Your body is struggling very hard to keep you alive; it should not have the added task of keeping you warm."
Narcissa waited in silence as the words soaked into Hermione's thoughts.
"Do I… I have… Can I put them over my clothes?"
Narcissa could not help the hum of disapproval that escaped her, but she did understand the girl's logic.
"Very well, Hermione. As long as you put warm clothes on, I do not care if you also have clothes on underneath. In fact, that will just help keep you warmer." Narcissa windlessly summoned some wool socks, lounge pants, and a fluffy cardigan to sit behind Hermione on the bed.
Hermione turned towards them and slowly reached for the socks and the cardigan. Narcissa was about to argue that the lounge pants should also be put on, but she thought that this was a small win, so let it be.
"I know that you have not been awake long, but I can't imagine the quality of your sleep has been very good, so I have an offer for you."
Hermione flinched at the wording, causing Narcissa to internally kick herself, and then nodded.
"As you are the brightest witch of your age, I'm sure you are aware of how addictive Dreamless Sleep can be." Hermione nodded, the academic side of her brain tuning in. "I will offer you a drop or two every time you wish to sleep, even in the middle of the day. As you also know, that small of a dose will not provide you with dreamless sleep for hours on end, as one might have with a full dosage. As your body is recovering from severe trauma and malnutrition, you will be sleeping quite a bit. I wish for your sleep to be more restful, so that you might feel safer here upon waking."
Narcissa sat patiently as she watched the girl's brain work through everything she had just said. There was no doubt in Hermione's intelligence, for even as her body was in starvation mode, her brain still processed information at nearly the same speed.
"Will…" Hermione's voice cracked with disuse. She coughed and tried again. "Will anyone be able to get in here while I sleep?"
Yet again, Narcissa found her heart breaking with the fear that underlaid Hermione's question.
"The only people who will be able to enter this room are myself, Maggie—my own person elf who is an extension of myself in almost all tasks, and Tilly—Draco's favored elf who helped rear him as an infant when I was sick. No one else who be able to enter the room, but you are not confined here. You can come and go as you please."
Hermione nodded in understanding and comfort.
"Thank you… Thank you for helping me, Mrs. Malfoy." Hermione could not help the tears that flowed silently down her face.
"My dear child. I could not stand by and watch you wither away. You are simply too brilliant for that, but more than that, you are a child of this Earth, and as such, you should be taken care of." Narcissa's own voice caught at that, and she struggled to regain her composure. "Would you like to get into bed and have a few drops of Dreamless Sleep? I can stay if it would make you more comfortable."
Hermione nodded and slowly made her way up onto the bed. Just as she was pulling the covers over her, there was a furious tapping on the window, causing Hermione to scream and back up yet again.
"Oh, that blasted owl!" Narcissa stormed over to the window and threw it up. "Yes, Feroce. I collected her this morning. She is fine." Narcissa rolled her eyes as Feroce ignored her and flew directly to Hermione. "Hermione, it seems an official introduction is in order. This… obnoxious owl is Feroce, Theodore's owl."
Hermione had beemed at Feroce as soon as he had alighted on beside her on the bed.
"Would you like me to stay, Hermione?"
"No, no. I don't want to be even more of a bother. But… could Feroce stay?"
Narcissa nodded and held out the two drops of Dreamless Sleep to Hermione.
"Sleep better, my dear. Just call for an elf when you wake, and I will return."
As Hermione huddled down into the blankets and comforters, Narcissa could not help but stand at the door and watch until the girl had fallen asleep. The child looked no older than a Third Year with how skinny she had gotten. Ever so slowly, Narcissa exited the room, making sure to close the door without a sound as to not disturb the sleeping girl.
Review Please :) Or don't. That's your perojative. Hopefully you liked this chapter.