CANNONBALL RUN 4: HIGH OCTANE
By The Turbo Man
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. This fic is a sequel to Charles Xavier's story CANNONBALL RUN 3 WORLD TOUR. I'd like to thank Charles for being a great author and a great friend and for encouraging me to write this fic. I'd also like to thank Brock Yates and Hal Needham for giving the world the Cannonball Run movies.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first fanfic. No flames please. I'm using some vehicles from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (one of the best computer games I've ever played), some vehicles from the short-lived Hot Wheels line Key Force (thanks to Charles for suggesting that) and some vehicles from the PS2 game Rumble Racing. I'm making some, but not all, of the VC and RR vehicles do special things. Like Charles, I'll also use songs in the story. Well, enough of my bellyaching. Enjoy!
Brock Yates sat in his office, drinking coffee and reading a copy of a newspaper he had kept from the previous year. It detailed the story of the third Cannonball Run, the first of the Cannonballs to have taken the racers all over the world.
It had been fantastic. Many great and talented racers had risked life and limb to win the race. But, as with previous Cannonballs, the maximum amount of fun had been had.
I remember when the Cannonball started Brock thought God, that was one of the best moments of my life.
Brock got the feeling that it was time. After the success of the third race which had taken place the year before, he had made plans for another global race. He felt that now was the time.
Better spread the word Brock thought. He reached for the telephone in front of him and dialled a number.
"Hello." He said. "Can I speak to Mr. McClure please?".
After a pause, a voice replied "J.J. McClure here.".
"J.J., it's Brock.". Brock said. "I believe that now is the time.".
"Brock, are you sure?" J.J. replied. "I mean, I know you arranged it and all, but it's such short notice. Victor and I need to get ready and everything.".
"Don't worry, pal." Brock said. "I prepared some invitations. I had word from some of last year's racers who are still interested, and there are many in the world who I believe would like to take part.".
"Well, if you say so, Victor and I will head out. Where's the starting point?".
"At the dome in the North Pole, where last year's race ended.". Brock said. "Be there or be square.".
"Oh, we'll be there alright Brock.". J.J. said as he hung up the phone.
Brock dialled another number on his phone.
In a small town in Maine, the man known only as Mr. X answered the phone in his apartment.
"Mr. X, your services are required.".
"Ah, Mr. Yates. I take it that you'll need me to bring the necessary paperwork to the President?" Mr. X asked.
"That's right." Brock replied.
"Given the good reaction to the Cannonball last year, I don't personally foresee a problem.". Mr. X said.
"Yes, but the authorities may still try to gain themselves some prestige by trying to catch a Cannonballer.".
"Brock, the Cannonballers proved last year that they can take care of themselves. I'm ready to help out.".
"Alright, get going." Brock said.
"Will do." Said Mr. X. With that, Mr. X hung up the phone and went for his hat and coat.
In his office, Brock took out a cigarette and lit it.
"Here we go!" Brock said as he took a satisfactory drag from his cigarette.
On a lonely desert highway, a red Lamborghini Countach, named the Infernus, was tearing along the road at nearly 200 miles an hour. The roar of the engine was almost deafening.
Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Riku (Kingdom Hearts)
Cid Highwind (Final Fantasy VII/Kingdom Hearts)
Kairi (Kingdom Hearts)
Team Rocket (Pokemon)
Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt (Mission: Impossible)
Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
Tommy Vercetti (Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
Up ahead , in a lay-by, a Highway Patrol car was waiting. They had spotted the Infernus and were lying in wait.
"Here it comes." The first cop said. "They're really moving.".
"Do you think we can catch 'em?" his partner asked.
The first cop started the engine of the cruiser. "Sure. We just pull out and block the damn road!".
The cop prepared to pull out on to the road as the Infernus approached.
Without slowing down, the Infernus whooshed past the cops before they could even move out.
"Holy shit!" the first officer exclaimed.
"Got any other bright ideas?" his partner asked sarcastically.
"Let's get after 'em!" . The black-and-white pulled out, in pursuit of the fleeing Lamborghini, even though it was way ahead of them by now.
One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
So I tried my best illegal move
Well, baby, black and white come and touched my groove again!
Gonna write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55! Oh No!
CANNONBALL RUN 4: HIGH OCTANE
The Infernus approached a speed limit sign which read 65 mph. The red car screeched to a halt and the driver's door was flung open. Out of the car stepped Lara Croft, wearing a black spandex jumpsuit. She was carrying a can of red spray paint. After giving the can a shake, she went over to the sign and sprayed an 'X' over it. Smiling in satisfaction, she got back into the Infernus. The car
was thrown back into gear and it roared off as the police car followed.
So I signed my name on number 24, hey!
Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more...
We're gonna throw your ass in the city joint"
Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?"
I said Yea!, Oh yea!
Write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55!
The Simpsons (Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie from The Simpsons)
Sarah Michelle Gellar in two roles as Buffy Summers (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) and Daphne Blake (Scooby Doo)
Bruce Willis as John McClane (Die Hard movies)
The Shadow (The Shadow)
Mai Valentine (Yu-Gi-Oh)
Mirai Ozora (Moldiver)
Chun-Li (Street Fighter 2)
John Travolta in two roles as Chili Palmer (Get Shorty) and the President of the United States.
Priss Asagiri (Bubblegum Crisis 2032 [2032 and Bubblegum Crash are the only BGC series I've seen])
Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator (The Terminator movies)
Wallace and Gromit (Wallace and Gromit)
Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes)
Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes)
Wile E. Coyote (Looney Tunes)
Marvin The Martian (Looney Tunes)
Buster Bunny (Tiny Toon Adventures)
Babs Bunny (Tiny Toon Adventures)
Plucky Duck (Tiny Toon Adventures)
Fifi Le Fume (Tiny Toon Adventures)
The Dizzy Devil (Tiny Toon Adventures)
Nicolas Cage as Randall 'Memphis' Raines (Gone in Sixty Seconds)
Vin Diesel as Dominic Toretto (The Fast and The Furious)
Drew Barrymore as Dylan (Charlie's Angels)
Lucy Liu as Alex (Charlie's Angels)
Cameron Diaz as Natalie (Charlie's Angels)
Mike Myers as Austin Powers (Austin Powers movies)
Ben Stiller as Mr. Furious (Mystery Men)
Janeane Garofalo as The Bowler (Mystery Men)
William H. Macy as The Shoveler (Mystery Men)
Wes Studi as The Sphinx (Mystery Men)
Hank Azaria as The Blue Raja (Mystery Men)
Kel Mitchell as The Invisible Boy (Mystery Men)
Tom Waits as Doc Heller (Mystery Men)
'Stone Cold' Steve Austin (World Wrestling Entertainment)
Nemesis (Resident Evil)
Death (Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels)
Jackie Chan as Chief Inspector Lee (Rush Hour movies)
Chris Tucker as Officer James Carter (Rush Hour movies)
Strong Bad (Homestar Runner-this web cartoon. Check out )
Homestar (Homestar Runner)
The Cheat (Homestar Runner)
Marzipan (Homestar Runner)
Kermit the Frog (The Muppet Show)
Miss Piggy (The Muppet Show)
Fozzie Bear (The Muppet Show)
The Great Gonzo (The Muppet Show)
Rizzo The Rat (The Muppet Show)
Animal (The Muppet Show)
Mel Gibson as Mad Max (Mad Max)
Dick Dastardly (Wacky Races)
Muttley (Wacky Races)
Robert De Niro as Fearless Leader (Rocky and Bullwinkle)
Yosemite Sam (Looney Tunes)
Shredder (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Pinky and The Brain (Pinky and The Brain)
Fulgore (Killer Instinct)
Cyril Sneer (The Raccoons)
Wild Dog (Time Crisis)
Ian McNeice as Baron Harkonnen (Frank Herbert's Dune)
Professor Nimnul (Chip 'N Dale's Rescue Rangers)
Captain Hook (Peter Pan)
Michael Keaton as Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice)
Johnny Knoxville (Jackass)
Jason 'Wee Man' Acuna (Jackass)
Chris Pontius (Jackass)
Ryan Dunn (Jackass)
Marty McFly (Back To The Future-the Marty from the BTTF cartoon from the early 90s, because Michael J. Fox is not a well man anymore)
Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown (Back To The Future)
Mary Steenburgen as Clara Clayton-Brown (Back To The Future 3)
Hagar The Horrible (Hagar The Horrible)
Lucky Eddie (Hagar The Horrible)
Alexa Vega as Carmen Cortez (Spy Kids)
Daryl Sabara as Juni Cortez (Spy Kids)
Sam (Totally Spies)
Alex (Totally Spies)
Clover (Totally Spies)
Lita (Sailor Jupiter from Sailor Moon)
Raye (Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon)
T-Bone (SWAT Kats)
Razor (SWAT Kats)
Freddie Prinze, Jr. as Fred Jones (Scooby Doo)
Linda Cardellini as Velma Dinkley (Scooby Doo)
Matthew Lillard as Shaggy Rogers (Scooby Doo)
Scooby Doo (Scooby Doo)
Secret Squirrel (Secret Squirrel)
Morocco Mole (Secret Squirrel)
Ghost Rider (Ghost Rider)
Willy Fogg (Around The World With Willy Fogg-a European cartoon from the 80s)
Rigadon (Around The World With Willy Fogg)
Dogtanian (Dogtanian And The Three Muskehounds)
Pip Squeak (Dogtanian and The Three Muskehounds)
Wakko, Yakko and Dot Warner (Animaniacs)
Dr. Scratchensniff (Animaniacs)
Crash Bandicoot (Crash Bandicoot)
Conker (Conker's Bad Fur Day)
Mario (Super Mario Bros/Super Mario 64)
Samus Aran (Super Metroid/Super Smash Bros.)
Fox McCloud (Starfox/Super Smash Bros.)
Sonic (Sonic The Hedgehog)
Tails (Sonic The Hedgehog)
Knuckles (Sonic The Hedgehog)
David Hasselhoff as Michael Knight (Knight Rider)
K.I.T.T. (Knight Rider)
Corvax The Terrible Sheik (Muzzy)
Beavis and Butthead (Beavis and Butthead)
The Nomad (Beau Peep-this British comic strip about the Foreign Legion)
Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee (Crocodile Dundee)
B.D. Joe (Crazy Taxi)
Darkwing Duck (Darkwing Duck)
John Cleese as Donald Sinclair (Rat Race)
Leonardo di Caprio
Rowan Atkinson as Lord Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder)
Tony Robinson as Baldrick (Blackadder)
Jim Carrey as The Mask (The Mask)
Milo (The Mask)
The Rock as Mathayus, the Scorpion King (The Mummy Returns/The Scorpion King)
Rath (Mummies Alive)
Armon (Mummies Alive)
Peter Weller as Buckaroo Banzai (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)
Jeff Goldblum as New Jersey (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)
Lewis Smith as Perfect Tommy (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)
Scrooge McDuck (Duck Tales)
Gyro Gearloose (Duck Tales)
"I'll radio ahead." The first cop said, maybe one of the other guys will get them". He spoke into his radio. "Car 67, eastbound looking for a westbound. A red Lamborghini is heading your way, going 190 miles an hour. Car 95, you should see 'em in about two minutes.".
"Roger that. I'll keep my eyes skinned." Car 95 replied as he waited patiently five miles up the road, heading west.
"Well, your two minutes are up!" The first cop said over the radio. The cop in Car 95 saw the Infernus coming towards him fast. He got a good look at the occupants. Apart from Lara, there was Mai Valentine, wearing a purple spandex jumpsuit, Mirai Ozora wearing a red one and Chun-Li wearing a light blue one. As they passed Car 95, they smiled. Mai blew a kiss at the officer.
"Damn, those are some great lookin' chicks!" he exclaimed as he quickly turned his car around and headed off in pursuit of the Infernus.
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
Burt Reynolds as J.J. McClure (Cannonball Run 1 & 2)
Dom DeLuise as Victor Prinzey (Cannonball Run 1 & 2)
Lex Luthor (DC Comics)
Ansem (Kingdom Hearts)
The Red Skull (Marvel Comics)
Glenn Close as Alice J. Foyt (formerly Commander Foyt, from Charles Xavier's Cannonball Run 3)
Charles Dance as Mr. Benedict (Last Action Hero)
Jason Statham as Marcus (a character I made up)
Will Ferrell as Regis (another character I made up)
Vinnie Jones as Diamond Jim (another original character, but I borrowed his name from the AC/DC song Sin City)
Bill Paxton as Fingers Freddy (see above)
Meatloaf as Big Ray (another original character, leader of a biker gang)
Lazlow (Grand Theft Auto 3/Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
Matt Frewer as Max Headroom (Max Headroom)
Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford (10 Things I Hate About You)
The Machinegal Dolls (Moldiver)
Sacha Baron Cohen as Ali G (Ali G Indahouse)
Jack Nicholson as Mr. X (character from Charles Xavier's CR3. Thanks to Charles for letting me use him).
Aeris Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII/Kingdom Hearts)
Yuffie Kisaragi (Final Fantasy VII/Kingdom Hearts)
Squall Leonheart (Final Fantasy VIII?Kingdom Hearts)
Ken Rosenberg (Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
Mercedes Cortez (Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
Kent Paul (Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
Dr. Raven (Bubblegum Crisis 2032)
Mackie Stingray (Bubblegum Crisis 2032)
John Forsythe as the voice of Charlie (Charlie's Angels)
The King of Town (Homestar Runner)
Bubs (Homestar Runner)
Helga (Hagar The Horrible)
Jerry (Totally Spies)
Danny Trejo as Isadore 'Machete' Cortez (Spy Kids)
Serena (Sailor Moon from Sailor Moon)
Darien (Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon)
Rini (Sailor Chibi Moon from Sailor Moon)
Amy (Sailor Mercury from Sailor Moon)
Mr. Plotz (Animaniacs)
Luigi (Super Mario Bros./Super Smash Bros.)
Zelda (The Legend of Zelda)
Captain Falcon (F-Zero/Super Smash Bros.)
Yoshi (Super Mario World)
Patricia McPherson as Dr. Bonnie Barstow (Knight Rider)
Car 95 sped on across the highway, but the driver had lost sight of the Infernus. "You heard me, I said I lost them!" he said into his radio.
"How could you lose a red Lamborghini with four great lookin' chicks in it in the middle of nowhere?!". Another cop yelled through the radio.
"What is this, a pop quiz?! I lost them, alright!" Car 95 retorted. "The road's as straight as my hair, I can see for six miles. No sign of them!".
"Just watch any side roads for dust!" Car 67 replied. "They can't have just disappeared.".
Car 95 sped on, not realising that the Infernus had turned off the highway and was parked behind a large rock. The four girls were sitting on the hood of the car.
"We've certainly got this routine worked out now!" Mai said. "Those cops are such losers!".
"Not really." Lara said. "They just can't keep up with the Infernus.".
"Yeah, especially with that new engine we had put in her.". Mirai said.
"Well, I think this proves that we're ready for the Cannonball." Chun-Li said.
"Oh, I'd say so." Lara said. "Well, there's just over a month left before it starts."
"How long would it take us to get to the North Pole?" Mai asked.
"I'd say, maybe two or three days." Lara replied.
"Well, then, that gives us a couple more weeks to prepare." Mirai said.
"Yeah, and we've been meaning to give the new nitrous-oxide booster a try." Mai said.
"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Chun-Li said. "Let's go!".
"Okay!" Everyone else yelled. They leapt off the hood and climbed back into the Infernus. Mai got behind the wheel this time, and the car revved up and roared off.
SPECIAL APPEARENCES BY:
Brendan Fraser in two roles as Chazz (Airheads) and D.J. Drake (Looney Tunes: Back In Action)
Steve Buscemi as Rex (Airheads)
Adam Sandler as Pip (Airheads)
Joe Mantegna as Ian The Shark (Airheads)
The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Kurt Russell as Jack Burton (Big Trouble In Little China)
G.W. Bailey as Captain Harris (Police Academy movies)
Lance Kinsey as Proctor (Police Academy movies)
Wesley Snipes as Blade (Blade)
Kris Kristofferson as Abraham Whistler (Blade)
Jason Patric as Michael Emerson (The Lost Boys)
Corey Haim as Sam Emerson (The Lost Boys)
Corey Feldman as Edgar Frog (The Lost Boys)
Gary Oldman as Dracula (Bram Stoker's Dracula)
Anthony Hopkins as the I.M.F. Chief (Mission: Impossible 2)
Adrian and Neil Rayment as The Twins (The Matrix Reloaded)
Jonathan Hyde as Van Pelt (Jumanji)
Keenen Ivory Wayans as Jack Spade (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka)
Bernie Casey as John Slade (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka)
Isaac Hayes as Hammer (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka)
Jim Brown as Slammer (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka)
Antonio Fargas as Flyguy (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka)
Keith David as Kung Fu Joe (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. NOTE: Kung Fu Joe was originally played by Steve James, but since Mr. James has passed on, I have Keith David [the voice of Goliath in Gargoyles and the Holy Man from Pitch Black] playing him here)
Eddie Griffin as Undercover Brother (Undercover Brother)
Jenna Elfman as Kate Houghton (Looney Tunes: Back In Action)
Blue Falcon (Dynomutt Dog Wonder)
Dynomutt (Dynomutt Dog Wonder)
Tobey Maguire as Spiderman (Spiderman)
Shane West as Tom Sawyer (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
Peta Wilson as Mina Harker (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
Tony Curran as Rodney Skinner (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
Jason Flemyng as Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
Naseeruddin Shah as Captain Nemo (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
Antonio Banderas in two roles as Gregorio Cortez (Spy Kids) and El Mariachi (Desperado/Once Upon A Time In Mexico)
Enrique Iglesias in two roles as himself and Lorenzo (Once Upon A Time In Mexico)
Marco Leonardi as Fideo (Once Upon A Time In Mexico)
Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees (Friday The 13th Movies)
Jonathan Breck in two roles as the Creeper (Jeepers Creepers) and Spider (original character. One of Big Ray's biker gang)
Andrew Bryniarski in two roles as Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and Pitbull (original character. Another biker)
Brad Loree as Michael Myers (Halloween movies)
Lawrence Makoare in two roles as The Witch King of Angmar (The Lord of The Rings) and Ripper (Another biker)
Doug Bradley as Pinhead (Hellraiser movies)
Grace Kirby as the Female Cenobite (Hellraiser movies)
Nicholas Vince as the Chatterer Cenobite (Hellraiser movies)
Simon Bamford as the Butterball Cenobite (Hellraiser movies)
Timon and Pumbaa (The Lion King)
Jimbo Curran (South Park)
Ned Gerblansky (South Park)
The Thornberry Family (Eliza, Nigel, Debbie, Marianne and Donnie from The Wild Thornberrys)
Darwin (The Wild Thornberrys)
Herbie (The Love Bug)
Sektor (Mortal Kombat)
Cyrax (Mortal Kombat)
Smoke (Mortal Kombat)
Kirsten Dunst as Amber Atkins (Drop Dead Gorgeous)
David Spade as Joe Dirt (Joe Dirt)
Michael Cole (World Wrestling Entertainment commentator)
Tazz (World Wrestling Entertainment commentator)
Josh Mathews (World Wrestling Entertainment commentator)
Nene Romanova (Bubblegum Crisis 2032)
Leon MacNichol (Bubblegum Crisis 2032)
Daley Wong (Bubblegum Crisis 2032)
Makoto (Midnight Club 2)
Ichiro (Midnight Club 2)
Ricky (Midnight Club 2)
Dice (Midnight Club 2)
Shampoo (Ranma ½)
Fentible (Starship Titanic)
Marvin (The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy)
Johnny Five (Short Circuit movies)
Roland Rat (Roland Rat)
Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones' Diary)
Tenacious D (Jack Black and Kyle Gass)
Dave Grohl (lead singer/guitarist of Foo Fighters)
Kronk (The Emperor's New Groove)
Launchpad McQuack (Duck Tales/Darkwing Duck)
Fernando Martinez (Grand Theft Auto 3/Grand Theft Auto: Vice City)
Max Damage (Carmageddon)
Johnny Bravo (Johnny Bravo)
Zapp Brannigan (Futurama)
Christian Amanpour (CNN reporter)
Paul Walker as Brian O'Connor (The Fast and The Furious/2 Fast 2 Furious)
Tyrese Gibson as Roman Pearce (2 Fast 2 Furious)
Ludacris as Tej Parker(2 Fast 2 Furious)
Devon Aoki as Suki (2 Fast 2 Furious)
Amaury Nolasco as Orange Julius (2 Fast 2 Furious)
Michael Ealy as Slap Jack (2 Fast 2 Furious)
Pepe Serna as Reno Nevada (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)
Clancy Brown as Rawhide (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. NOTE: Rawhide apparently died in the movie, but the unfilmed script for the sequel had him alive again, so I'm using him here.)
Matthew Broderick as Inspector Gadget (Inspector Gadget)
Roger Ramjet (Roger Ramjet)
K.A.R.R. (Knight Rider)
Reece Shearsmith as Papa Lazarou (The League of Gentlemen [A weird British comedy show. No relation to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
Rusty Goffe as Simba (The League of Gentlemen)
Jon Key as Tik-Tikk (The League of Gentlemen)
Gerald Stadden as Pebble (The League of Gentlemen)
Trogdor the Burninator (Homestar Runner)
Blue Blaze Irregulars (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai)
Battle Android Troopers (G.I. Joe)
The Heartless (Kingdom Hearts)
Centurion Robots (Duck Dodgers In The 24th and a half Century)
Zombies (Resident Evil)
As they headed off on the highway, they approached Car 95 which was in front of them.
"If I tell you guys something, you won't think I've been drinking will you?" the cop said. "But that red Lamborghini is behind me.".
The Infernus passed the cop car, and the girls waved as they passed.
"Correction, it's just passed me. I'm going after 'em!" The cop said. He put his foot down and pursued the Infernus, even though he could not hope to catch it.
"Okay, let's see what she can do!" Lara said.
"Check!" Chun-Li said. She reached for a red switch on the Infernus' dashboard. "Hold tight!" she said as she flicked the switch. Instantly, a gust of nitrous-oxide gas was sent into the engine. With a loud whoosh, the Infernus was given a tremendous boost of speed. The car was pushed past the 200 mile an hour mark and rocketed into the distance.
Their pursuer's jaw dropped as he watched them disappear.
When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.
And I can't get my car out of second gear.
What used to take two hours now takes all day. Huh!
It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.
Gonna write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55!
No, no no,
I can't drive...
(I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive...
(I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive 55!
"I Can't Drive 55" by Sammy Hagar (Lyrics borrowed from )
Lara and the girls laughed to themselves. Things were looking good. The fourth Cannonball Run was ready to begin.
The three teenagers walked across the town square, heading for the shop. They, too, were preparing for the Cannonball Run.
"Let's hope the car's ready." Sora said.
"There should be no problem. Cid said that today would be the day." Kairi said.
"Yeah, well, you know what he's like in his garage. Always tinkering! I hope he understands the seriousness of the situation!" Riku snorted.
"You should loosen up a bit, buddy." Sora said.
"How can I?!" Riku snapped. "There's just over a month left before the race and the damn car's still not ready! If he actually HAS got it finished by today, I'll be very surprised!".
The three friends reached the shop. Waiting for them outside were Yuffie, Aeris and Squall.
"Hi guys!" Yuffie said. "We thought you'd be coming by!".
"Of course we would." Kairi said. "The Cannonball's gonna be one great adventure and we're looking forward to it.".
"You won't be disappointed." Yuffie replied.
"Cid's been expecting you." Aeris said. "But he's not here yet. He was just out putting the car through it's paces.".
"You mean it's ready?!" Riku asked in excitement.
"You bet!" Squall said. "He finished it late last night and wanted to give it a test run.".
"Well, if it's like he said it would be, there should be no problems in the race." Sora said. "Especially with 'Him' behind the wheel.".
Riku glared at Sora. "Sora, don't start that crap again!".
"Come on, after that Victor guy instructed me, I've got the hang of the routine.".
"Even so, we don't want 'Him' making a stupid mistake like Victor did in the first Cannonball Run." Riku said.
"Oh, cut Sora some slack, Reek!" Kairi said. "When Cid let us test-drive one of his trucks, you saw how good 'Him' was behind the wheel!".
"Yeah, but Sora's okay on his own! We don't need 'Him'!" Riku replied.
"Am I missing something here?" Aeris asked.
"Don't worry." Yuffie said. "Squall and I know what they're talking about. You know that Cannonball Run official who visited this place two weeks ago?".
"Victor Prinzey?" Aeris asked.
"Yeah." Squall said. "He did this little act during the race where he put on a mask. It's true that he DID make a stupid mistake at the end of the first Cannonball Run, but when he had that mask on, he could blow your doors off!".
"You bet it's incredible." Yuffie said. "Well, last year, he instructed one of the new racers to carry on his tradition. It looks like Sora's become his latest pupil.".
"He has." Kairi said. "And I quite like it.".
"You do?" Sora asked.
"Of course." Kairi replied. "I think that 'Him' could be our ace in the hole!".
"Or the pain in our ass!" Riku grumbled. "It's nothing but trouble!".
"Look Riku, say what you want, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to win as long as I'm behind the wheel." Sora said. "Besides, I love a good challenge, just like our last adventure.".
"We'll see." Riku said.
Suddenly, the roar of a loud engine could be heard, accompanied by the squeal of tyres. "YEE-HAA!" a voice yelled.
"Sounds like Cid coming now!" Aeris said.
A large black sedan with tinted windows screeched around the corner. It had a huge chrome grille on the front and chrome exhaust pipes sticking out above the front wheels. The car braked and came to a halt in front of the shop. The front door opened and out stepped Cid Highwind.
"Well, that's that!" he announced. "A fine piece of machinery if I do say so myself!".
"Hi Cid!" Sora, Riku and Kairi said in unison.
"Hey guys!" Cid replied. "So, what do you think of her?".
"Fantastic!" Sora said. "I can see why it took so long to work on.".
"Have you given her a name yet?" Kairi asked.
"Yep!" Cid said. "I call her the Phantom!".
"So, what can she do?" Riku asked.
"Zero to 100 in 6 seconds!" Cid said proudly. "And a few little surprises!"
"Such as?" Sora asked.
"Well, get inside and I'll show you."
Cid and the three teens got into the Phantom. It was very spacious. Sora and Riku instantly noticed that there were two ignitions, one in the normal place near the steering wheel and the other on the dashboard above the speedometer.
"Okay, guys. Here's how it works out." Cid said. "Double-turbo charged engine. Runs well on regular gas and, my little surprise." . He pointed to the dashboard.
"Notice anything unusual?" he asked.
"Well, there seems to be TWO ignitions.". Riku said,.
"Correct." Cid said. "But the one near the steering wheel is what starts the car. The one above the speedometer is the special one.". Cid took out another set of car keys and put them into the second ignition. "Just watch!" he said.
Cid turned the keys a suddenly there was a whirr of machinery. The roof of the Phantom opened up. On the passenger side of the car, a cockpit with a laser cannon appeared. On the driver's side a glass canopy closed around Cid, to shield him. The front grille opened up to reveal missile launchers.
"WOW!" Kairi said.
"Yes indeed!" Cid said. "I think it's safe to say that we can compete in the Cannonball.".
"Well, shouldn't we head off?" Riku asked.
"There's one last thing we need to do." Cid said. "Take her for a spin on the obstacle course. Then we can move on. We'll head over there now.".
"Well, good luck guys!" Squall said.
"Have fun, and come back safely!" Aeris said.
Cid turned the Phantom around and they took off towards the obstacle course Cid had set up just out of town.
"So, Sora, you excited?" Kairi asked.
"Yeah!" Sora said. "I'm hoping we'll do well.".
"What, is the great Key Bearer nervous?" Cid asked jokingly.
"Well, I know I did well in the test runs in the truck, but I don't know if I can handle this car.".
"Well, we'll find out on the obstacle course, won't we?" Kairi said.
The Phantom pulled up to the starting grid on the obstacle course. Set up on the road were various cones, jumps and even a loop. It looked tricky.
"You want to see me drive on this?" Sora asked nervously.
"You've got nothing to worry about." Cid said. "This car's as tough as nails, and jumps pretty well.".
"Well, I'm still a little nervous." Sora said.
Cid turned to face him with a mischievous grin. "Well, if you're still nervous, you could always have 'Him' do it.".
"For God's sake, Cid, don't encourage him!" Riku groaned.
"Why, tough guy, you afraid he'll steal your thunder?" Cid asked.
"Cid, you know that 'Him' only comes when there is danger to human life." Sora said.
"Well, then, son, I think you should call him." Cid said as he got out of the car. Riku and Kairi followed.
"I just don't think this Captain Chaos stuff is necessary." Riku said.
"Well, if he can handle the Phantom, he's okay in my book." Cid said.
From inside the Phantom, they heard a voice yell "DUN! DUN! DUN!".
"Oh, boy." Riku said as he rolled his eyes.
Suddenly, the Phantom took off, roaring along the track. The car weaved in and out of the rows of traffic cones with great ease. Next, the car jumped several ramps and cleared great distances. Finally, the car drove into the loop. Without slowing down, the vehicle drove up and around it. Cid and the others were amazed. As the Phantom sped back towards them, It suddenly turned up onto the two right wheels, driving on one side. The car wobbled a little bit, but then drove with ease. The Phantom was set back down on it's four wheels. The car screeched to a halt. The driver's door was thrown open to reveal Sora, but he was wearing a red and black mask with the word CHAOS embroidered on it. He had a matching cape.
"Well, good citizen Cid" he said in a grandiose voice. "Have I proven myself worthy?".
Cid walked up and shook Sora's hand. "You bet you ass you have, Captain Chaos. I'm proud to have you aboard!".
"Glad to hear it! Have no fear, for 'Him' is here!". Captain Chaos said.
"What do you think of "Him" now Riku?" Kairi asked.
"Well," Riku began, not really wanting to give the devil his due, " 'Him' may have what it takes to be good enough, but remember, 'Him' isn't always gonna be driving.".
"You just don't like to be proved wrong, do you?" Kairi said.
"If I may, partners, it is time for us to depart." Captain Chaos said. "So please take your seats and we'll be off!".
Cid, Kairi and Riku got in the Phantom. Captain Chaos put his foot down on the accelerator and the black car sped off.
"So" Giovanni sneered. "Once again, you three have messed up!".
Jessie, James and Meowth squirmed in front of their boss.
"I don't know why I keep you three in my employ, because the only thing you've ever been good at is messing up! If you three got a trophy for being failures you'd probably lose it!".
"But, boss, it wasn't our fault!" James protested. "We weren't expecting that Jigglypuff to show up and put us all to sleep!".
"Well I warned you that something might go wrong." Meowth said. "But do you ever listen to me?! NOOO!".
"Oh, shut up, Meowth!" Jessie snapped. "If you're such an expert, why don't you try capturing Pikachu on you own?!".
"Well, why don't you?! Or are you too busy keeping your hair combed properly!" Meowth retorted.
"If the three of us didn't fight so much, we might do better!" James shouted. "Did that ever occur to either of you?!".
"ENOUGH!" Giovanni yelled. The three Rockets immediately shut up. "James actually made an intelligent comment there. The three of you are so busy trying to upstage each other that you fail constantly.".
Giovanni stroked his Persian to try and calm himself down. "Anyhow," he continued "This time last year, I set the three of you an important task. To bring Team Rocket global victory by winning the Cannonball Run. Not surprisingly, you failed.".
"Well, boss" Jessie said "There was some stiff competition. We did the best we could.".
"Yes, and that's what was so tragic!" Giovanni snapped. "Your best just wasn't good enough!".
"Well, boss, it was a worldwide contest." Meowth said. "Going that distance ain't easy!".
"Maybe." Giovanni said. "I have heard that the Cannonball is starting again this year, with a prize of $200 million for the winner.".
"Seriously?!" The three Rockets chorused.
"Yes." Giovanni said. "I know I'm probably going to regret this, but I'm going to give you three another chance. I'm giving YOU another chance for two reasons: first of all, Butch and Cassidy ended up in jail again thanks to those three brats, and because I'm sending a top agent with you.".
"You mean..?" Jessie asked.
"That's right." Giovanni said. "Domino will be going with you.".
The blonde Rocket with the red and white cap stepped forward from the shadows.
"Hopefully, with me behind the wheel, you three may have a chance of winning this time!" she sneered.
"Boss, we don't need her!" James said. "We can handle this ourselves!".
"Wanna bet?" Domino said. "Last year, you lot weren't even close to the finish line when the race ended!".
"No arguments!" Giovanni said. "Agent 009 is going, and that's my final word on the matter!".
"But boss, there's not enough room in the Switchblade for a fourth passenger." Jessie said.
"Who said you'd be taking the Switchblade?" Giovanni said. "It needs repairs, so I've arranged for a new vehicle for you.". He pressed a button on his desk and a spotlight came on, showing a white sportscar, with a red racing stripe painted down the centre, which was in the left corner of the room.
"Meet the Direwolf." Giovanni said. "It has a powerful engine and a radar jammer so the police can't catch you. In addition, the headlights have lasers built into them. It should suit your needs perfectly.".
"Magnificent!" James said. "It's an excellent vehicle!".
"We could win the race no problem with that!" Meowth agreed.
"Just give us the word, boss!" Jessie said. "We're ready to go!".
"Good!" Giovanni said. "The race begins in a few weeks. Go and prepare for it!".
"I get to drive first!" Domino announced firmly.
She headed over to the Direwolf with Jessie, James and Meowth in tow.
"And if you don't win this time, don't bother to come back!" Giovanni called, as Domino started up the car's engine. Giovanni pressed another button and a large garage door opened. With a loud yell of "TEAM ROCKET FOREVER!" the Rockets left the building.
In a deserted warehouse in Washington DC, I.M.F. agent Ethan Hunt was listening to his chief relay instructions.
"Now, then, Ethan." The chief said. "As you know, the Cannonball Run will be starting soon. It has been brought to our attention that you had voiced an interest in this race.".
"Well, sir, I admit that I have been interested in it. I just need to get a car." Ethan said.
"Which is why I've called you here. A lot of the board members do not approve of the race, but I was able to talk them into giving us the go-ahead to produce a vehicle for your use.".
"Well, that's good news. You said in your message that there was someone else who was interested in going with me on the race." Ethan replied.
"Yes, he's been here for a while now." The Chief turned to look behind him. "Alright, sir, you can show yourself now.".
From the shadows stepped a tall man with brown hair, dressed in combat gear. He looked Ethan over.
"So, you're the famous Ethan Hunt." The man remarked. "I thought you'd be taller.".
Ethan was stunned. "Good lord!" he said. "It can't be! You're...Solid Snake, aren't you?".
"That's right." Snake replied.
"THE Solid Snake?! The man who took on three Metal Gear weapons?!".
"The same." Snake said.
"Well, I must say, I wasn't expecting this." Ethan said as he shook Snake's hand. "I mean, you're a legend in the black-ops world, and a lot of secret agents look up to you too.".
"Well, as I've told people before, the legend's no match for the real me".
"Well, now that you gentlemen have been introduced, I think I should introduce you to your vehicle. Follow me, please.".
Ethan and Snake followed the Chief to the back of the warehouse.
"So, why the interest in the Cannonball?" Snake asked Ethan.
"Well, it sounds like fun. And I could use a break from saving the world for a change." Ethan joked.
"Yeah, me too." Snake said, laughing. "I mean, after all I've been through, I could use some fun.".
The Chief stopped in front of a large object covered with a tarpaulin. He nodded to two technicians who were standing on either side of it, and they whisked the tarp off, to reveal a red Ferrari Testarossa.
"This car, gentlemen, is known as the Cheetah. It was very appropriately named as it can reach incredible speeds. It also comes with bulletproof windows and a titanium alloy body.".
Snake whistled. "Very nice. Bet your bean counters were a bit pissed off about the cost.".
"If you two win the Cannonball, it will have been worth every penny." The Chief said. "I think you should head on now, but be careful. We'd appreciate it if you could bring the car back in one piece.".
"Don't worry, sir, we'll be careful." Ethan said as he headed for the driver's side door.
"And, gentlemen?" The Chief said. "Good luck.".
"Thanks, sir." Snake said as he got into the car.
"Here we go!" Ethan said as he turned the key. The Cheetah started up with a mighty roar. Ethan shifted the car into gear and accelerated forward. Even he wasn't expecting the car to move as fast as it did. After getting over his surprise, he steered the car out of the warehouse and onto the streets.
A group of people stood outside Escobar International Airport in Vice City, Florida. At the head of the group was Tommy Vercetti, the man who ran Vice City. With him were his lawyer Ken Rosenberg, his sometime girlfriend Mercedes Cortez and the British music industry man known as Kent Paul.
"Well, my partner should be here any minute now." Tommy said as he looked at his gold Rolex.
"I don't see why you couldn't let me drive, Tommy." Rosenberg whined. "I mean, I could do it!".
"You're a lawyer, Ken. That's all you're good at so stick to it.". Tommy replied.
"Who is this bloke anyway, Tommy?" Paul asked. "You think he's kosher?".
"Should be." Tommy said. "He sorted out some trouble in Hollywood a few years ago. AND he managed to get that sleazeball Ray Bones sent up.".
"Well, we're all rooting for you, Tommy. Here's hoping you win it, huh?" Mercedes asked in her usual sultry way as she moved close to Tommy.
"Excuse me?" a voice asked. The group turned to see a man in a black suit.
"I'm looking for Tommy Vercetti, and I think I've found him." The man said.
"You Chili Palmer?" Tommy asked.
"That's right." Chili replied.
"Yeah, well I'm Vercetti."
"I know. Your reputation precedes you, Tommy. So, are we ready to go?".
"Oh, I see you don't waste time." Mercedes said as she moved up to Chili. "You take care of Tommy for me, and maybe I'll give you something in return.". She gave Chili a big wink.
"Now, look Tommy,." Rosenberg said. "Just watch yourself in the race. The cops will be on your ass every step of the way.".
"Since when have cops been a problem for me?" Tommy said. "Besides, you can cover my ass in court, can't you?".
"Yeah, well, just be careful.". Rosenberg said.
"We'll both be careful." Chili said. "It should be no problem.".
"The car's round the front, Chill." Tommy said. "I'll just have it brought round.".
Tommy spoke into his cellphone. In about two minutes, a large roadster was driven round to the front. It was painted yellow and black, and had a spoiler on the back and a supercharger sticking through the hood.
"Whoa!" Chili said. "That's a great looking machine!"
"Yeah. I call her the Stinger 2.". Tommy said.
"Well, there was a car in last year's Cannonball called the Stinger. I didn't want this car to get mixed up with it. So, do you want to drive or shall I?".
"I think I'll give her a tryout." Chili said.
Both men got into the car. "Well, so long, guys." Tommy said to his friends.
"Go get 'em, Tommy!" Paul said. "Give 'em some stick, me old China!".
"Yeah, whatever." Chili said as he started up the engine and pulled out of the airport.
As the car drove off, Chili narrowly avoided hitting a police car. The cop car took off after them.
"Sorry about that." Chili said. "But that car didn't stop to see if anyone was coming!".
"I know." Tommy said. "The cops in this town are so bored, they'll look for any excuse to bust you.".
The cop car was catching up with them, so Chili floored the accelerator.
"Just head outta town." Tommy said. "That'll get them off our back. They stop chasin' you after a while".
"Okay." Chili said. "And here's hoping we'll not have as much trouble in the Cannonball.
"I don't believe this! I really don't!" Marge Simpson yelled at her husband Homer in their living room. "You and Bart risk your lives in that race last year, and now you want to do it again?!".
"But Marge, it's fun!" Homer said.
"And this time, it's for $200 million. Think what we could do with that!" Bart said.
"Well, last year you came home empty handed." Lisa said. "Was it worth it?".
"Yeah." Homer and Bart chorused.
"Your problem is that you don't know how to have fun!" Homer said to Marge.
"For your information, Homer, I do know how to have fun!" Marge said as she folded her arms across her chest.
"Oh, come on!" Homer said. "That time Bart and I went on that road trip in the truck, your idea of
excitement was to get a musical doorbell!".
"Yeah, Dad's right!" Bart said. "Why else would you have been against the race last year?".
"I was against it because I was afraid for your well being!" Marge said. "But I can enjoy things like that too.".
"Oh yeah?" Bart said. "Prove it.".
Marge could tell that Homer and Bart were trying to trick her into coming.
"Oh, no!" She said. "You won't get me like that!".
"Marge no fun! Marge no fun!" Homer chanted in a singsong voice.
Marge let out an exasperated sigh. "Alright! You win! I'll come!".
"WOO-HOO!" Homer yelled as he and Bart high-fived each other.
"MOM!" Lisa whined. "Are you really going through with this?!".
"Yes, Lisa. I know I'm probably going to regret it, but I'll go. And you and Maggie are coming too.".
"No 'buts', young lady!" Marge snapped. "We're all going and I won't hear another word about it!".
"Fine." Lisa sighed.
"Do you have a car, though, Homer?" Marge asked.
"What do you think I've been working on in the garage for the past three weeks? The Hermes is
raring to go.". Homer said.
"Yeah." Bart said. "It's got loads of room in it, a babyseat for Maggie, CD player, supercharged engine, radar, the works!".
"Are you sure it's okay for all of us to go?" Marge said.
"Sure." Homer said. "Just go get Maggie and I'll get the Hermes.".
A few minutes later, Marge and the kids closed the door of the house and locked it. Marge had Maggie in her arms. Lisa and Bart had a couple of suitcases of clothes.
"Is that the Hermes?" Marge asked in amazement.
"You betcha!" Bart said.
Sitting in front of the house was a huge 1949 Mercury Coupe, painted black with flames on the hood. Homer was behind the wheel.
"C'mon, guys! Let's go!" he yelled.
Lisa and Bart put the suitcases in the trunk and got into the car. "The car's brilliant, dad!" Lisa said.
"Thanks, honey." Homer replied. "Are you looking forward to the race.".
"Yes, I think I am now." Lisa said.
"You won't be disappointed, Lise!" Bart said.
Marge finished putting Maggie into her babyseat and then climbed into the front of the car.
"Put your seatbelts on, 'cause it's gonna be a fast ride!" Homer said as he put his foot on the accelerator and the Hermes speeded out of Evergreen Terrace, on the way to the North Pole.
Buffy Summers was feeling a bit down. The Cannonball was starting up again, but she had no partners. So, here she was driving in her car, a vehicle she had named the Cobalt. It was a large sportscar, painted dark blue and with flames painted all over it. She had spent ages getting the Cobalt ready, apparently for nothing. The rain was battering the windows. "God, if only I could meet up with someone who's as interested in the race as I am."
Last year, Buffy had had more fun than she'd ever had before in the Cannonball. But her old partners weren't interested in going on the race again. She sighed to herself and turned on the radio. A Backstreet Boys song was playing. Her attention drifted for a second. She turned back to look at the road. To her surprise, she saw a man in a white shirt and brown jacket standing in the middle of the road, waving her down.
She brought the Cobalt to a halt and got out. "Hey, mister, you could get killed standing out on the road like that.".
"Hey, sorry, but my car broke down a couple of miles up the road." The man called John McClane replied. "My friend and I were wondering if you could give us a lift to the nearest town.".
"Friend?" Buffy said, looking around in confusion.
"I believe he's referring to me.". an echoing voice replied.
Startled, Buffy looked around and saw a dark figure wearing a long overcoat, a wide-brimmed hat
and a scarf covering his mouth. Buffy stepped back in awe.
"My God!" she said. "You're..the Shadow, aren't you?".
"That is correct". The dark avenger replied. "My friend here is Sgt. John McClane of the NYPD.".
"Hi, how ya doin'?" John said.
"And you, if I am not mistaken, are Buffy Summers, the Slayer.".
"Uh, yes I am.".
"It is an honour for me to meet a fellow champion of justice.".
"Uh, okay." Buffy said. "So, what's up with you guys.".
"We were on our way to take part in the Cannonball Run." McClane said. "But our car broke down so..."
"Did you say the Cannonball?" Buffy interrupted.
"Yeah." McClane said. "Oh, yeah, you took part last year didn't you?".
"You bet, and you guys are in luck, 'cause I've got a vehicle here ready to go.". She pointed to the Cobalt. "I'm gonna race in the Cannonball this year too. I'd be glad to take you guys on as my partners!".
"Hmm." McClane said. "What do you think, Shadow?".
"I believe that this could be to our advantage. I accept the Slayer's offer".
"Okay, we'll come." McClane said.
"Alright! Let's go!". Buffy yelled. The three got into the Cobalt and Buffy started up the engine. She put a Nerf Herder tape into the Cobalt's tape deck and put her foot down.
A white motorcycle roared through the streets of Tokyo. It was going well over 100 mph, and weaving in and out of traffic. The driver was clearly an expert at handling bikes. The cycle reached a garage named Raven's and pulled inside. The bike was stopped inside the garage. Dr. Raven, the elderly scientist in charge of the garage, and his assistant Mackie Stingray were there to greet the rider.
Priss Asagiri took off her helmet and approached the two.
"I take it that the PCJ-600 performed adequately?" Raven asked.
"It sure did! You two have outdone yourselves this time!" Priss said.
"Well, Priss, we hope you'll do well in the Cannonball." Mackie said.
"What do you mean you hope?!" Priss asked indignantly.
"Well, Priss, you will have competition, and we should know, because this other Cannonballer had us fix up his bike." Raven said, nodding towards a large Harley Davidson sitting at the back.
"Hah!" Priss snorted. "I could beat that thing any day! Who is this guy?".
There was a loud knock at the garage door. "I think that's him now." Raven said.
A large, muscular man, wearing a black leather jacket and reflective sunglasses walked into the garage.
"Is the Freeway ready?" he asked.
"Yeah, sir. It's all fixed up for you." Mackie said. "By the way, this here's Priss. She's racing in the Cannonball too.".
Priss looked the man up and down. "So, you think you can beat me?" she asked.
The Terminator lowered his shades and gave her a penetrating look. "We'll see who wins in the race.".
"Yeah, well I guess I should wish you luck." She said, extending her hand. "You'll need it.".
The Terminator took her hand firmly. Feeling his incredibly strong grip, Priss looked surprised. Then, it hit her. "You're a boomer?!" she said.
The Terminator raised his eyebrow. "Cyborg, actually." He said. "And I know that you don't exactly like cyborgs.".
"Yeah!" Priss said. "That doesn't bother you?".
"No." He said. "All I intend to do is win the Cannonball. I harbour no prejudice towards other racers. But I do plan to beat them.".
"Yeah, well then I'll do my best to win as well. To prove that a machine's no match for the real thing!" Priss said determinedly.
"Oh, for God's sake, Priss!" Raven said. "You know now that all boomers, or cyborgs, aren't evil! Why can't you just wish each other good luck and try to do your best in the race?".
"The Doctor's right!" Mackie said. "You sound ridiculous.".
Priss looked a bit cowed. Her friends had a point. She shook the Terminator's hand. "Well, good luck".
"Likewise." The Terminator said.
"But I'd like to see what that chopper can do!" She said.
"Alright." Said The Terminator. "We'll have a race.". He headed over to the Freeway and got on. Priss mounted the PCJ-600 and put her helmet on. They both revved up their engines and zoomed out of the garage.
Raven sighed. "Priss just never lets up, does she?".
"Well, hopefully they'll make it through the race without killing each other.". Mackie said.
In his garage, genius inventor Wallace was putting the finishing touches to his vehicle for the Cannonball Run.
"Just tighten this up a bit." He mumbled to himself. "Gromit, lad, pass us that wrench will you?".
Gromit, Wallace's dog and best friend, handed his master a wrench and Wallace tightened up the final screw on the vehicle. It was a large motorcycle which had a canopy which completely covered the driver. Wallace had named it the Hyperion.
"Okay, that's that!" Wallace said. "Now to test the engine.". Wallace took out a remote control and pressed a button on it. The tinted glass of the canopy slid open and Wallace climbed in. Taking his seat on the bike, he turned the key in the engine. The bike started up.
"Okay, Gromit. Open the garage door and time how long it takes me to go around the neighbourhood and back".
Gromit nodded as he opened the door to the garage. Sliding the Hyperion's canopy shut, Wallace drove the vehicle out onto the street.
"TALLY HO!" Wallace yelled.
Gromit started a stopwatch and timed his master. Wallace drove wildly around the neighbourhood, taking fast turns and occasionally doing wheelies. The passing traffic honked at him as he went by.
"What a show off!" Gromit thought as he watched Wallace go.
Wallace brought the vehicle back into the garage. Wallace opened the canopy and got out. "That was fun!" He said. "How'd I do?".
Gromit held up the stopwatch for Wallace to see.
"One minute, forty-five seconds, eh?" Wallace said. "Great! Well then, I think we should wait until the race to test out the rocket launchers. What do you think?".
Gromit nodded his head in agreement.
"Right then!" Wallace said. "Let's go then, lad! Don't forget the crackers and cheese!".
Gromit picked up a sack full of crackers and cheese and took his place aboard the Hyperion. Wallace climbed aboard as well. The canopy was closed and Wallace revved up the engine. The bike was driven out of the garage. Using a remote control, Wallace closed the garage door, and then drove off at an incredible speed.
"Hi everybody!" Oprah Winfrey said to her audience. "Welcome to the show! Today, we have some special guest stars! All the way from Warner Brothers Studio, here are Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Wile E. Coyote and Marvin The Martian!".
The audience applauded as the four toons came out. Daffy looked annoyed.
"That rabbit gets mentioned before me?!" He said. "Outrageous!".
"Oh, do stop complaining. It gives me a frightful headache." Marvin said.
"Hi guys." Oprah said. "I'm glad that you made an appointment before you came on the show this time!".
Daffy grumbled to himself as he remembered how he and Wile E. had got thrown out by security the last time they were on Oprah's show.
"Eh, what's up, Oprah?" Bugs asked as he chewed his carrot.
"A lot is up." Oprah said. "I hear that this year you and Marvin are going to accompany Daffy and Wile E. on the Cannonball Run this year.".
"That's right." Bugs said. "We've even got a vehicle ready, thanks to our resident genius, Mr. Coyote.".
Wile E. blushed as the audience applauded.
"And I intend to drive it!" Daffy said beaming. "After all, I am the superior driver here! No one can get past me!".
"Oh no, you don't!" Bugs said. "We flipped for it and I won, so I drive first!".
Marvin pulled out his ray gun and aimed it at Bugs and Daffy.
"Quit arguing, or I may have to zap you to teach you a lesson!" he threatened.
"Okay, okay." Daffy said.
"So, are we going to have a look at this vehicle then?" Oprah asked.
"Sure!" Bugs said. "Wile E., bring her in!".
The coyote took out a remote control and pressed a button on it. The sound of an engine could be heard and a light blue sportscar with white racing stripes rolled through the studio doors. Wile E. pressed another button and the vehicle came to a halt.
"This is the Blue Devil." Daffy announced. "As Wile E. invented it, it is one of the most advanced racing vehicles in the world. This is our entry in the Cannonball, and we have every intention of winning. I'd like to see a car that can match up with this.".
"Well, I must say I'm impressed." Oprah said.
"Well, now, if you'll excuse us, we must be going!" Bugs said. The four toons got in the Blue Devil and roared off, crashing through the wall as they went.
"Damn!" Oprah said. "Who's going to pay for that?!".
As the Blue Devil headed down the street, a yellow car with a blue stripe down the side and a spoiler drove up beside it. Both cars reached a set of traffic lights and stopped. The window of the yellow car was rolled down.
"Hi, Professor Bunny!" The young rabbit yelled.
"Buster!" Bugs said in surprise as he recognised one of his students from Acme Looniversity. "I didn't know you could drive! What're you doing out of school?"
"It's the summer, Bugs!" Buster replied. "We heard that you and some of the guys were going on the Cannonball. So we decided to go too.".
The doors of the yellow car opened and out stepped Babs Bunny (no relation to Buster), Plucky Duck, Fifi Le Fume and the Dizzy Devil.
"Hi Daffy!" Plucky yelled.
"Hi, kid." Daffy said "I'm glad you're here too. If you ever get to drive that thing, prove you can do it better than a rabbit!".
"HEY!" Babs said. "I'm better behind the wheel than Buster or Plucky, so we'll just see who'll win!".
"What do you call that thing?" Marvin asked.
"Well, we couldn't really come up with a name for it." Fifi said. "So we decided just to call it the Muscle Car, because that's what it is.".
"Looks pretty fine!" Bugs said. He glanced at the traffic lights. "Tell you what. On the next green light, let's see what she can do!".
"ALRIGHT!" The Tiny Toons yelled as they hopped back in the Muscle Car.
As the light turned green, both vehicles roared off down the street.
"Oh, come on, Eleanor! Don't do this to me!" Randall Raines moaned as he tried to get Eleanor, his 1969 Shelby Mustang, to start. The car had broken down on a street in Baja, Mexico. Randall, or Memphis as his friends called him, was on his way to compete in the Cannonball, but things seemed to have conspired against him.
"Damn it!" he said as he hit the dashboard with his hand.
He got out of the car. He headed into a bar that was nearby, intending to use the phone. As he went in, a man sitting at a table near the door said "Hey, you're Memphis Raines aren't you?".
Memphis looked at the man. He was heavily tanned, bald-headed and had a very deep voice.
"Maybe." Memphis said. "Who's asking?".
"Dominic Toretto." The man said as he extended his hand.
Memphis smiled. "The king of LA's street racers, right? Pleasure to meet you.". He shook Toretto's hand.
"The pleasure's all mine." Toretto said. "Having car trouble?".
"Yeah." Memphis said. "The damn car's always breaking down on me. And I've got a race to run shortly.".
"The Cannonball Run?" Toretto asked. "I'm racing in that myself!".
"You are?" Memphis said. "I heard you're still wanted for hijacking in the States.".
"So?" Toretto said. "They couldn't catch me before. I'd like to see 'em try again! If your car's no good, you can come with me. My ride's out there.".
Toretto pointed and Memphis looked outside and saw a large black Chevy Impala. It looked very impressive. It was supercharged.
"I call her the Road Kill." Toretto announced proudly.
"Wow!" Memphis said. "That's an impressive machine. Why are you letting me be your partner?".
"Well, what can I say? I've always admired your driving skills." Toretto said.
"Well, why the hell not? I'll come with you.".
"Great!" Toretto said. "Well, let's go!".
Both men headed out to the black car. Toretto climbed in the driver's seat, and Memphis got in beside him.
"Here we go!" Toretto said. The engine started up and the Road Kill drove off at great speed.
In a darkened office, three sinister villains were having a meeting.
"This Cannonball Run is offering a lot of money to the winner." Lex Luthor said. "$200 million to be precise. That money could easily fund our project for world domination. Don't you agree?".
"Indeed it could." Ansem replied. "Such an amount could bring us incredible power. If we could get our hands on it.".
"What's stopping us from getting our hands on it?" The Red Skull asked. "If those pathetic Cannonballers think they can match our combined forces, they will be proved wrong! I say we get our best agents on the mission to stop the race.".
"I agree!" Luthor said. "I've already contacted Mr. Benedict and Max Damage. Those two have never failed us before!".
"I have enlisted the help of our undercover agents, the Machinegal Dolls." Ansem said. "Isabelle and her most devious sisters would be of invaluable help, especially in an undercover capacity.".
"I, too, have many agents. I can contact them as needed." The Red Skull said.
"I can also bring in Marcus and Regis." Luthor said. "Those two may be of help.".
"Yeah, if they can stop bickering for once!" Ansem said.
"I have an additional plan of action which could bring us success.". The Red Skull announced.
"Do tell." Luthor said.
"In the last Cannonball, the police tried to stop the race at all costs. Their leader was this lady.".
Red Skull pressed a button and on a screen before the three an image of a stern looking woman wearing sunglasses appeared.
"Commander Alice J. Foyt, once the most decorated member of the California Highway Patrol. However, after she learned that a presidential decree cleared the Cannonballers of all charges for what they had done during the race, and feeling humiliated that the racers had thwarted all her attempts to stop them, Ms. Foyt was demoralised and quit the police force in bitterness." The Skull announced.
"How is this relevant to us?" Ansem asked.
"Well, ever since last year, Ms. Foyt has become obsessed with getting her own back on Brock Yates and the organisers of the Cannonball. I believe that if we could persuade her to work for us, she could bring us victory.".
"Her?!" Luthor asked. "Have you lost your mind?!".
"Like I said, Lex, she's obsessed with getting her own back." The Skull said smiling. "Obsessives get the job done.".
Ansem stroked his chin. "Yes, I believe that you may be right. Do you know where she is now?".
"Living in Los Angeles, on her pension.".
"Right." Luthor said. "I'll send the Dolls to collect her.".
Luthor lifted up his champagne glass. "Well then, gentlemen, let us drink to our victory over the Cannonballers.".
"And to the money we are going to earn in the process!" Ansem said as he raised his glass as well.
The three villains toasted each other and drained their drinks.
TO BE CONTINUED
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, there you go. I may not be able to update for a while. I just want to see what everybody thinks first. The rest of the racers will be introduced in Chapter Two. I hope you enjoyed it. My 'special appearance' section of the cast is incomplete. I'd appreciate it if anyone could give me some suggestions for guest stars. Please R & R, but PLEASE, no flames!