Hi. This is Lain, your host for the evening. This is a special presentation brought to you by DNA production television. It's everybody's favourite segment, the bloopers!

DNA wasn't going to host the bloopers of "Cruel intentions" on air, but changed her mind when someone *glares at DAAnika* convinced her to. That someone has already convinced DNA to show the uncut version of this story (the lemon parts), but the bloopers as well? Let's see how the actors muck up in this one!

*laughs* Ok, let's get started!

Director and Producer: DNA

Filming (Cameramen): Kenny

Backstage crew (Lighting, music etc): Max and DAAnika

Actors: Tyson. Kai, Ray and Lee

WARNING: The following segment is classified MA. Our actors couldn't keep their paws off each other, and this is the result of it.


Chapter one - Kai's evil plans

Lain (host): DNA sure didn't know what she was up for… until the shootings, of course.

Scene two, take one (The book)

Kai: *picks up the yellow dusty book, looking possessed* Muahahahahahahahahahaha

DNA: Eh? *confused* I wrote that in the script?

DAAnika: Cut! Great start *rolls eyes*

Scene four, take one (The closet)

((Filming from outside))

Ray: Tyson, the hole is too small, I can't fit mine in

Tyson: Try harder. Come on, push it in. It can't be THAT big, can it?

Ray: Ty, I told you. It is big!

Tyson: Come on, are you there yet?

#A minute later#

Ray and Tyson: *moans and pants, screaming each others' names*

DNA: *knocks on the Tyson and Ray's door with an angry face* Pull up your pants and make out later!

Ray and Tyson: DON'T INTERUPT! *continues moaning and panting*

DNA: *falls down anime-style and sweat drops* They can't stop groping each other, can they? CUT!

Scene seven, take one

Kai: Oh well, it's getting late, I'm heading to bed.

Chibi Tyson: Can I come to bed with you? *big innocent eyes*

DNA: I swear Tyson, if you don't follow the script, I'm going to---

Chibi Tyson: *teary eyed, baby voice* Pwease DNA, I'm scared of the dark!

DNA: Awww... How adorable! Cut!!! Kenny, let them take a break for a while…

Kenny: Again? And how did Tyson become a chibi

Kai: *takes out the spell book and smirks*

DNA: Remind me to kill him later.

Chapter two - Plan put to action

Scene one, take one (Good morning)

Ray and Tyson: *kissing*

Kai: *comes out of room and clears his throat*

Ray and Tyson: *still making out*

Kai: *growls and tries to kill Ray*

DNA: *pulling Kai back*

DAAnika: CUT! Disaster.

Scene three, take one (Ray left to see Lee)

Tyson: So, Kai... you want to play something?

Kai: How about... *thinks for a while then smirks* How about---

Max: *comes out from backstage* Don't even say it Kai!

Kai: *looks at Max innocently* What?

DNA: *sweat drops* Cut.

Scene six, take one (The spell should've worked)

Kai: Tyson?

Tyson: Hmm?

Kai: I'm... I'll be in my room if you need me

Tyson: *glomps Kai* I need you baby, I need you now!

Kai and Tyson: *walks in the room*

DNA: *yells* CUT, CUT NOW! You guys are an embarrassment.

Chapter three - play with me

Lain (host): If you thought that was bad, wait' till you see the remaining chapters. Example, this one.

Scene eight, take one (Strip poker)

Tyson: I dare you to... do a little dance

Kai: *does a little dance*

Tyson: *staring at Kai with starry eyes* Wow Kai, I wish I could dance like you *hands clasps together*

Max: *comes out of backstage* Tyson? *waves hands in front of Tyson* Snap out of it!

Tyson: *eyes still starry* Wow, so mesmerizing...


Scene nine, take one (The dare)

Kai: I won this time Tyson

Tyson: How about I take everything off, Kai? *flicks eyes, flirtingly*

DNA: *sweat drops* Cut...

Scene nine, take two (The dare)

Tyson: What's your dare? *bites lower lips*

Kai: F*** me, baby, f*** me (CENSORED)

Tyson/Ray/Lee/Max/Kenny/DNA/DAAnika: o_0


Chapter four - Busted

Lain (host): As you all know, our actors can't keep their hands off themselves *glares at Tyson and Kai* This chapter is well performed because they get to release the tension they've been keeping inside for three chapters.

Scene ten, take one (Ray returns)

Ray: *comes home and walks to Tyson's room. As he walks further inside the house, he hears Tyson's moans and got turned on himself*

*Opens the door* Hi guys, mind if I join the fun?

DNA: *wide eyes* WHAT THE FUK? *faints*

DAAnika: *comes and yells* CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!!!!!

Tyson/Kai/Ray: *blocks ears*

Ray: *rubs palms together* So... where were we?

DAAnika: *fall down anime style*

Chapter five - What happened?

Lain: DNA is unavailable to direct this chapter, so her yami, DAAnika is taking over. DNAnika is not a trained director and this is what happens...

Scene one, take one (In the morning)

Tyson: *shivers because of the breeze* Man… *sneezes* Choooo! *rubs nose* Sorry! ^___^"

DAAnika: Don't worry, it wasn't your fault *whispers: Why do I get the hardest parts? Why me?* CUT.

Scene one, take two (In the morning)

Tyson: *shivers because of the breeze* God damn it! Who opened the door?

DAAnika: ¬¬ *pokes Tyson* It's not opened and this is the highest the heater would go!

Scene one, take three (In the morning)

Kai: *kisses Tyson's neck*

Tyson: You were amazing last night.

Kai: Thanks Ty-koi, you were too.

Tyson: *huggles Kai*

DAAnika: *screams* WAKE UP AND STICK TO THE SCRIPT!!! *scratches back of head* Oh yea... CUT!

Scene one, take four (In the morning)

Kai: Oh that. Don't tell me you forgot what happened after what we did last night?


Kai: Er... you're supposed to forget it because I used a spell on you.

DAAnika: CUT! *sips water* How could DNA stand them?

Scene two, take one (The explanation)

Tyson: OK... What exactly did I do, more or less, we did...?

Kai: You uh... we were playing strip poker... and I dared you to kiss me. Then... you dragged me here and started to...

Tyson: Whoa... hold on a second? -I- started to drag -you- here?

Kai: *nods*

Tyson: *face brightens up* Wow, was I seme or uke?

DAAnika: Tyson... *sighs* Do you understand the meaning of STICKING TO THE SCRIPT?

Tyson: *frowns* I was just curious!

DAAnika: *slaps forehead* These bunch of monsters are hentais! HENTAIS I TELL YA! CUT!

Scene five, take one (The call)

Tyson: Ray? Please speak to me R---

Lee: *hangs up*

Tyson: Hey, he hung up on me!

DAAnika: *pops out* He's supposed to. He, at least, sticks to the script!

Tyson: But he got the fun part, that's why!

DAAnika: How is it fun?

Tyson: He got to yell at me and call me a bastard.

DAAnika: And you're complaining because...?

Tyson: I told you, he got the fun part! *pouts*

DAAnika: But you got to fuck Kai.

Tyson: *smiles to self* Oh yea! *smiles evilly*  I'm not complaining!

DAAnika: I knew that would work.

#A while later#

DAAnika: Kenny, is this thing still filming?

Kenny: Yes.

DAAnika: Damn! CUT!!! Shimatta, I make a bad director.

Chapter six - Forgive me

Lain: DNA recovered from shock and is now directing the bunch of morons. DAAnika thanks god for it. You'll see why!

Scene one, take one (Ran into Ray)

Tyson: Ray... I'm so sorry

Ray: Do you... love Kai?

Tyson: I don't know. I'm sorry I broke your heart Ray---

*turns to DNA and cries his heart out* I hate you DNA, you made me so cruel! You made me cheat on Ray! I hate you!

DNA: I'm so sorry Tyson! I'm so sorry! *cries with Tyson*

DAAnika: CUT!

Scene seven, take one (Tyson is hungry)

Kai: Hi, suspect you're hungry? *takes a tureen of salad and placed it on the table*

Tyson: *opens the tureen, licks lips and then starts eating the tureen of salad voraciously*

Kai: Scratch that, I suspect you're REALLY hungry!

Tyson: *swallows* They say you eat a lot after you break up. *continues eating*

Kai: It's over… You and Ray... finished? Horray! Let's party!

DNA: KAI *chases Kai with a saucepan*

DAAnika: CUT!!! *cheers for DNA* Go girl! You da girl DNA. Kill Kai for... wait *thinks* AIBOU, YOU CAN'T KILL KAI, YOU ONLY HAVE A FEW SCENES LEFT! AFTER THAT, KILL HIM ALL YOU WANT!

DNA: *stops* Oh yea! *puts the saucepan away and pulls out K-san's gun*

Everyone (except DNA and Tyson): o_0;;;

Tyson: *still eating*

Scene twelve, take one (Aishiteru)

Tyson: Kai, can I ask you something?

Kai: *raises eyebrow*

Tyson: Why did you let me take you?

Kai: Hello? As if I have any other choices? *looks at DNA and the script*

Tyson: *sobs* I... I thought you loved me.

Ray: *comes out, holding Kai's spell book*

Kai: *snaps out of spell* RAY, GIVE ME THAT BACK! IT'S MINE!

Tyson: *confused* Huh?

DNA: *sweat drops* Thank god this is the last scene of the last chapter! CUT!!!


DNA: So there you have it, the bloopers. After seeing this, did you feel sorry for me for what I have to put up with? Tch, those perverts! Glad it's over. Okay, thanks for tuning in.

*DNA thanks the reviewers from chapter one to six once again. She also thanks the people who wanted to review the bloopers as well (don't see why, but don't see why not…)*


-DNA [10/10/2003]