5 years ago Shulk and his friends saved the world. Now everyone lives a normal life, in Colony 9. Shulk was sitting at his computer, covered in Cheeto dust. He had been up all night furiously arguing with people about Cyber Punk 2077 on Twitter.
"There are too many women and nopon in the game! Like why can't CDPR just remove them all from the game? Dunno the game seems pretty SJW to me."
To Shulk's surprise, there was a large amount of backlash. There were many people calling him "Racist" and a "Bigot" but Shulk knew he was better than them.
"Ha ha, racist isn't even a real word." He said aloud to no one but himself.
"Everyone knows that statistically nopon commit more crimes than homs do." Shulk replied to the many angry people on Twitter.
He couldn't think of a better way to justify his actions.
"Oh, it's almost time!" Shulk exclaimed.
It was almost 10:00, and his favourite TV show My Little Pony was about to come on. Shulk leaped from his chair and sprinted as fast he could to the TV room. Shulk looked around frantically
"THE REMOTE! WHERE'S THE REMOTE!?"
The remote was on the coffee table, directly in front of him, but Shulk didn't know this. He looked under every cushion, on every shelf, under the couch, but not on the coffee table. Shulk had exhausted himself. He was not nearly as physically active as he was 5 years ago. He lay down on the couch saddened, and tired from his fruitless effort. He lay down, and by chance, he glanced at the coffee table. His eyes lit up. He jumps up from the couch, grabs the remote and turns on the TV. The show had already ended, the news was already on. It took him over an hour to find the remote. Shulk felt pathetic, and rightfully so, Shulk is pathetic. During his plunge into sadness, Shulk realized how hungry he was. He got up to go to the refrigerator. He walked in a depressed manner towards the fridge. He opened it only to find it was empty, except for some black mold that had been growing there for quite some time. Shulk fell to the ground in a slump, hungry and sad.
"How am I supposed to buy more food, my bank account is empty." He moaned.
Shulk realized he needed a job. He looked online for a job, he couldn't bothered to leave his house if he didn't have to. He scoured pages upon pages of results. Until he found what seemed to be the easiest of them all. It was a security guards job, 11$ an hour shift is from 12 AM to 6 PM. Shulk was ecstatic that he didn't have to do anything, but sit in the same place for six hours, at an unpopular restaurant on the east side of the Colony, and best of all: Free Pizza! There was a phone number listed on the webpage it was 1-800-591-3274. Shulk called the number listed. A man's voice came over the phone
"Hello, you've reached Freddy Fazbears Pizza, how may I help you?"
"Hi, I'm here to apply for the job." Shulk replied.
"Oh for the security guard? Sure, you got it, can you be here tonight 11 PM?"
"What? I got it? No interview? Uh, I can be there, sure thing."
"You have an office near the supply closet on the south side of the restaurant, be there."
"Alright, got it."
Shulk trudged his way to the east side of the colony, stopping to take a few breaths every couple steps. He found himself in front of a building that had a large colourful sign that read: "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza".
"This must be the place." said Shulk.
He had arrived early. The pavement around the building was rigid, and cracked. The glass door that was on the front of the building was smudged, almost as if someone had been wiping their hands on the crystalline panes. The building seemed to be built from mostly wrinkly bricks smooshed together haphazardly, the raisiny chunks seemed like they would collapse at any moment. Shulk opened the door and then immediately he tripped on an ice cube and broke his nose.
"AAAAAHHHHHHH AAAHAHHHHHH AAHHHHHHHH!" Shulk was screaming.
"Ey." a voice rang in.
"Stop fecking screaming you cunt."
"I tripped and broke my nose!"
A river of blood was spewing out of Shulk's nose, as an orchestra of moans and screams emanated from his mouth.
"Does it look like I fecking care? I've been working this shitty job for 10 years. I used to be wood and steel worker, but then I fell into an industrial sand blaster and blew a fecking hole me leg. I then fell into debt due to the med bills, got fired from my job, and now I work in this shit hole. I'm sure the pain you're experiencing is not as bad as when I had that fecking hole in me leg."
"PLEASE! I BEG YOU! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLE-"
"Alright, I'll take you to the hospital!" the man cut in.
The man and Shulk make their way to the hospital, it takes a while. Upon their arrival, Shulk is sent to the ER. He is rushed in, down the white hallways with smooth paprika coloured floors, into the ER.
"Here, use this to stop the blood for now." says a nurse.
He is given rag, which lingered with an odor that could only be described as putrid. But due to his nose being smashed, Shulk could not smell this rag, nor would he care if he could, given the circumstances of his nose. The nurse turns a corner, and comes back around quartzy walls, holding an enormous needle.
"You're going to put that in my nose?!" exclaimed Shulk.
"It's a concentrated amount of water ether, it should be enough to heal your nose in a jiffy!"
Shulk was nervous, he'd never had an injection before but idea of one terrified him. He had faced killer machines, giant apes, and literally God, but this scared him most of all. The idea of a foreign substance, circulating inside his body, was one that he would stay awake at night thinking about.
"What if I inhaled some chemicals, and now I will die!?" he would think.
He hated chemicals, he feared them, even though he was a scientist, he was a fool. He feared vaccines, he "knew" that they had evil chemicals inside them, and that he shouldn't take them if he doesn't want Obama, controlling him through the liberal satellite positioned at his house. But he was too late, Shulk freezes with fear. The nurse inserted the instrument of torture into the wound. Shulk's nose instantly heals. But Shulk is now traumatized. It takes him almost 10 minutes to get up and head to work. He trudged his way back to the pizzeria.