Author's note: Sorry for taking so long with this, and for not replying to comments. Still homeless, so I've got a lot I'm dealing with just trying to get back on my feet. That shit tends to get in the way of stuff I'd rather be doing instead. I'll try to work on this faster, but can't make any promises.

"Well, this is it." Jack stood near the base's main gate with his arm around Arcee's human-size doppelganger and waited for the rest of the others to arrive. "Our vacation's officially started. A whole week off - well, assuming we don't get brought back to deal with any new Decepticon shenanigans."

"They've been quiet for the past few months, though I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. But let's try to enjoy the time off while it lasts. The new ship will probably be ready for its shakedown cruise by the time we get back, and that'll lead to months or even years of kicking ass and being shot at."

"Yeah. Well, we'll be saving the world, maybe even the whole galaxy, so it's for a good cause."

"That's the spirit." She grinned and leaned over to kiss him. "Which is quite a change from the day we met."

He laughed. "Yeah. Amazing how much can change in less than a year. Seven or eight months? Something like that. When I first stumbled into this mess, I wanted nothing to do with it, but now I'm all-in."

He noticed a rhythmic vibration in the ground and turned as it quickly grew into titanic footsteps. He waved at Arcee's full-size body as she crossed the parking lot with Tomoko beside her. Tomoko carried Raf in one hand and her human-size Pretender body in the other, so she smiled instead of waving back.

Still wearing that holographic costume. Adorable. He grinned at the Thirteenth Doctor outfit Tomoko had projected around herself - complete with blond hair in the proper style. She'd tried it out on Halloween and hadn't stopped "wearing" it since. Her mini-me had the same outfit with a red fez added on.

Jack turned at the rumble of another engine and found Ashanti's Humvee driving up. Bulkhead's Pretender body and Miko leaned out the windows and waved. He was still recovering from the damage he'd taken in the raid on the Nemesis months ago and couldn't leave the repair bay yet, but at least he could send his mini-me along with his bestie.

"Hey, guys." Ashanti grinned and pointed a thumb over her shoulder at Miko and Bulkhead. "Just giving Cheech and Chong a lift to Jasper."

Both of her passengers snickered.

"Cool. We're waiting for Mom and Clay, then we're heading out together." Jack nodded at Arcee waiting in her motorcycle form behind him and her human-sized body.

Tomoko placed Raf and her Pretender body gently on the ground, then she deactivated the holographic costume and transformed into her helicopter mode. Her smaller body clasped Raf's hand.

"You two look hot to trot." Miko winked at Raf and he blushed.

"I can't wait to meet the rest of Raf's family." Tomoko fired off a huge smile. "I'm so glad they like me, after hearing what Miko's host mother said about us and Arcee and Jack."

"She's another reason I want to go on the mission when the ship's finished." Miko rolled her eyes. "I know she doesn't mean to be an asshole about all this, but the way she acts definitely makes me want to get as far away from her as I can."

"She'll change her mind once you help save the whole galaxy," Bulkhead said.

"Maybe. The important thing is to just get the job done."

Jack nodded and glanced over his shoulder at the sound of another car. Clay drove up to the gate in "The Turd" and Jack's mom waved from the passenger seat.

"Hey, guys." She leaned over to smile out the window at her son and his girlfriend. "Couldn't wait to head out, huh?"

"Jack had everything packed last night." Arcee pointed at his backpack, then something in the distance caught her attention and she waved at the approaching car resembling the X80 Proto from Grand Theft Auto Online. It slowed to a stop, the driver-side window rolled down, and Sierra rested her arm on the edge. Smokescreen's Pretender body sat in the passenger seat, hunched over to fit.

"The gang's all here, eh?" Sierra picked up a huge tumbler of coffee from the cup holder and sipped.

"Terwilliger, Strika, and Strongarm used the ground-bridge to trim some time off their trip, but the rest of us are here since Jasper isn't that far away."

"Smokescreen keep you up late?" Miko aimed a shit-eating grin at them and Smokescreen grinned right back and performed the "docking" gesture.

"It was a mutual decision." Sierra yawned, then she noticed his hand gesture and burst into laughter as her face turned red. "Yep, lots of that."

"Nice!" Miko hopped out of the Humvee and fist-bumped Sierra.

"That reminds me." Smokescreen turned back to Miko. "Before they left, I tried to plant the idea of having sex with him in Strika's head. I suggested it could be another way to learn about human behavior."

"Seriously?" An enormous grin almost split Miko's face open. Jack had to hold in a snicker as she leaned across Sierra to give Smoke a high-five. "I hope you also suggested that she record the whole thing and send me a copy."

"I did, as a matter of fact. POV vid from Strika and a view of both of them from Strongarm. I implied it was for scientific research for a school project."

Sierra clamped a hand over her mouth, slumped over, and shook with silent laughter. Smokescreen chuckled and shrugged.

"Strika's so stoic, I couldn't tell if she's onboard with the idea or not, but I tried."

"Thank you! I owe you one!" Miko laughed and returned to the Humvee. "If they go ahead with it, I'm totally looping the playback and masturbating to it all night!"

Jesus Christ. Jack caught a glimpse of Ashanti staring at Miko in utter bewilderment before rolling her eyes and shaking her head. I couldn't agree more.

"Kids, these days." His mom flicked an uneasy glance at Miko but couldn't hold in a quick laugh, and Clay shrugged.

"Well, teenagers have those hormones they have to deal with, so there's no reason to get in their way when there's no risk of getting pregnant or catching a disease."

"Fair enough." She smirked and nudged Clay's shoulder. "I don't think I'd be able to get frisky if I've got my mind on these kids goin' at it, though."

Clay's optics opened wide in mock terror. "Banish all thoughts of such things from your mind, then!"

June giggled and Miko's expression turned mischievous.

"Can Cybertronians get blue-balls?"

Clay suddenly looked genuinely frightened. "I fuckin' hope not!"

"Your face," Arcee muttered to Jack before collapsing into a fit of laughter.

Now I know how Mom felt when Arcee and I "unlocked that achievement." Jack took a slow breath, laughed, and waved at his mom and her new boyfriend. "You two try not to have too much fun, okay?"

"Well, I'm not gonna make any promises." His mom tossed off a wicked grin and rested her hand on Clay's knee. "You guys enjoy your time off."

"I'm certainly planning to." Miko activated her robotic arm's vibrate function for a few seconds.

"And on that note." Clay reached out to shake Jack's hand. "See you guys around."

"Yep, see you in Jasper." Grinning, Jack climbed onto Arcee and gripped her handlebars. Her mini-me settled behind him and slipped her arms around his waist. Everyone else said their goodbyes and the guard signed them out and opened the gate.

Ashanti tossed off a jaunty salute and eased out of the gate, followed by Smokescreen and then the Turd. Arcee moved forward and then accelerated as soon as he and her smaller body secured their grips. Jack heard Tomoko's rotors start up and lift her and Raf into the sky. He took another deep breath and grinned.

And we're off.

"Thank you for taking the time to speak with us, General," Tenesha Hargrove said as she and her camera guys followed Sanchez into the hangar.

"It's no trouble at all. It'll be a while before this can be declassified, but I thought you might like a look at a few of our projects. This way, you can have some stuff ready to go when the public can finally be informed." It was also a bit of a reward for Ms. Hargrove being so cooperative. Sanchez had expected her to dig relentlessly and snoop around and be a huge pain in the ass, but she hadn't tried to "ask the tough questions" and put any of his people on the spot for the sake of ratings. She'd bent over backward to follow the ground rules that had been established ahead of time, so a little positive reinforcement was in order.

"We'd be grateful for whatever you can show us. I'm fascinated by the variety of work you're doing here. Some of it is designing new weapons, but a lot of resources are devoted to things like Jackson Darby's prosthetic legs and Miko Nakadai's new arm. Those projects can be a huge benefit to the public."

"I certainly understand the need to advance weapons technology, especially once I saw what we're up against with the Decepticons, but there's so much more I wanted to be a part of. That's why I delayed my retirement when I heard about the new Groom Lake base being built. When I found out what they'd be doing here, I wanted to hang on long enough to be in charge of it for a few years and end my career on a positive note. I mean, I've got nothing against protecting the world from threats like the Decepticons, but I also wanted to be involved in projects that improve people's lives."

"Well, there's no reason we can't do both."

"Exactly. It's all about building a better tomorrow."

"I'm glad to hear that you're so enthusiastic about the kinds of science projects you've got going here." She flicked a wry grin at him. "And I appreciate your unconventional approach to running things, such as being less uptight about how the people under you wear their uniforms and hair."

"Well, I don't like to be too constrictive to the people serving under my command. The people at Groom Lake, in particular, seem to perform much better when they have a lot of wiggle room. It lets them focus more on their work than on formalities and spit-and-polish. Besides, I wear my own hair really long, so I wouldn't feel right about ordering someone like Harvey Terwilliger to keep his cut short."

"I certainly like that approach. If this base had been around when I finished high school, I may have wanted to join the Air Force if you were in charge." She glanced at his hair. "I couldn't help noticing the hot pink stripe you've added since the last time we talked."

"I found out that some of the officers above Terwilliger were giving him shit about his hair, so I decided to put a little color in mine as a show of solidarity. I never liked pulling rank or ordering people not to voice their opinions unless they're causing genuine problems. In this case, I just made sure they noticed my pink streak. I didn't say anything to them, but I expect they'll dial it down."

"Interesting. I like the look, by the way. Makes think of a gender-fluid Danny Trejo."

Sanchez burst into laughter. "That gave me an idea for next Halloween." He kept laughing for a moment, took a slow breath to compose himself, and motioned at the far wall. "This is one of our coolest projects. One of the Pretenders, Clayton Ferguson, has been working on it."

"Oh, nice." She stared up at the twenty-foot-tall mech surrounded by scaffolding and arched an eyebrow. "You're building a giant robot? Or will someone be inside it?"

"There's a housing for a pilot in the chest. Colonel McKenna's team has done an incredible job, but we've also had a few casualties due to being so small compared to the Decepticons. While there are plenty of situations where the size difference wouldn't affect much, there are times when we might need to level the playing field."

"That's good to hear. This would definitely cut down on the risk of being crushed with a single blow." Hargrove motioned at the giant mech. "I can also see all sorts of other uses. Construction, for instance, or rescue operations in remote locations like mountaintops."

"Exactly. Another use we have in mind is aiding in repairs during combat. When Khalilah was wounded in our last battle against MECH, she had to be carried back through the ground-bridge before she could receive medical attention. And when Bulkhead was almost fatally wounded before that, there was no one who could help him. At the moment, all the Autobots have for a medical staff is Ratchet and Knockout, so if a human or Pretender field tech could pilot one of these, the next one of our Cybertronian allies wounded in combat could be tended to much sooner."

"I like it." Hargrove cocked her head. "I'm also intrigued by its design. Looks like a ninja from a cheesy movie in the early 1980s."

"Yeah, I guess I'm not the only one on the base who has a soft spot for those movies. Clayton said the project manager, Dr. Fujiyama, got the idea while watching episodes of The Master." Sanchez laughed again. "A show I'd completely forgotten even existed. Also, Clayton said his team had Miko in mind when they worked out the details because she's already demonstrated a talent for sneaking past people who were trying to keep her out of trouble. And that was before she got her armor with its tactical cloak."

"Hah, yeah, I can see her putting this to good use." Hargrove raised an eyebrow again. "A lot of people would probably object to a fifteen-year-old being sent into combat."

"I would, too, under normal circumstances. Miko, Jack, and Raf are an unusual case, though. They were fighting the enemy, surviving battles, and striking serious blows against the Decepticons before I even knew they were involved. I gotta admit, I was pretty horrified when I was briefed on their situation." Sanchez let out a slow breath. "All three of the kids were already neck-deep in it. Not that walking away would protect them, as we learned when the enemies they made kept coming after them. With training and cutting-edge equipment like the armor we've developed, they have a much greater chance of surviving - not to mention helping us stop the war the Decepticons have brought to Earth."

"They've definitely proved themselves valuable in the fight despite serious injuries. I saw the footage of Miko losing her arm and it was one of the most unsettling things I've ever seen." Hargrove shivered but then managed a quick chuckle. "I'm pretty impressed with how she handled it, though. It seemed to just piss her off and make her attack the enemy with even more ferocity than before. And after she woke up in the hospital, one of the first thoughts that crossed her mind was getting a cool robot arm and getting back into the fight."

"Yep." And insisting the new arm have a vibrate function added to it. Sanchez managed to hold in another snicker and motioned at the ninja-bot. "Project Nightbird, here, should be finished by the time the team comes back from leave. If Miko agrees to test it out, it'll be used in a few operations we've got planned before the new ship's test flight." Megatron and what was left of his crew still needed to be dealt with before the new ship launched. And if the DJD tracked them down here, those twisted motherfuckers would have to be taken care of, as well. The mission to find and stop Unicron could last months or even years. That was a long time for the bulk of the Autobots' forces to be out of reach.

"I have a feeling Miko will jump at the chance to drive this thing."

Sanchez nodded. "Yeah, we figured this would be right up her alley. She can't stay out of trouble anyway, so we might as well give her every advantage we can." He motioned at the next project in the corner of the hangar and they walked on. "We're working on similar mechs for Jack and Raf. Raf is planning to stay on the ship and act as Mission Control like he does here on Earth, but as we've learned, what you plan and what actually happens aren't always similar. It'd be good for Raf to learn how to drive one of these in case he needs it to get out of danger or help Ratchet repair a wounded Cybertronian."

"There's definitely nothing wrong with trying to prepare for every situation."

"Exactly."

"Since Miko will be test-driving the first of these, I can't help wondering if she'll want it to be anatomically correct."

"Jesus Horatio Christ." Sanchez burst out laughing again. "Please don't give her any ideas."

"Almost there." Terwilliger glanced at Strika in the passenger seat and Strongarm in the back.

"We should pull over and put on our disguises, then." Strika motioned at the side of the road.

"There's a spot ahead that'll keep us out of sight," Strongarm said as she slowed. "If the people here will just stop tailgating me for a moment …"

Terwilliger laughed. "That's something I noticed when I first moved here - most of the drivers keep riding your ass no matter how fast you go. I love just about everything else about this place, but the traffic always drove me insane."

"I look like a police SUV and they're still tailgating me!" Strongarm's Pretender body shook her head. "Unbelievable."

Terwilliger glanced into the rearview mirror just as the truck behind them swerved into the left lane and surged ahead. He sighed and shook his head as the guy in the passenger seat flipped them off.

"Sorry the speed limit isn't fast enough for you," Strongarm grumbled. "If I were part of the local police force, I'd teach him a lesson." She eased off the street, turned down a gravel road, and stopped when she'd moved behind enough trees and bushes to hide her from the street.

"Like I said, that's one of the only negative things about this place. It's better than Florida, though that's not saying much."

"I've heard so much about Florida from you." Strika got out and transformed while walking around to the back of Strongarm's vehicle mode. When the change was complete, her human disguise resembled Nurse Nina from one of the Borderlands games but without any clothing.

Terwilliger got out, stretched, and took a moment to enjoy the view since Strika didn't seem to care about being naked in front of him. And, he realized, she had no reason to since she and all the other Autobots and Decepticons walked around naked all the time. None of them had any "bits" that needed to be covered up until a few of them started using Pretender bodies, so it probably never even occurred to them.

Strika's disguise was easy enough on the eyes, but he was used to her normal robotic look, so he preferred that. Still, the disguises were necessary to avoid attracting hordes of gawkers who'd follow them around and keep their phone cameras pointed at them.

Strongarm's human-sized body transformed as well, taking on a similarly thicc look due to having a "brick shithouse" body type like Strika. If he had to describe her disguise succinctly, it would be "female BA Baracus." Her robot form was cute as hell, but this look was pretty nice, too.

I don't think I'm quite as much of a horndog as Miko is, but sights like this might just change that.

Strongarm opened her rear door and each mini-me unzipped a duffel bag and extracted the clothing inside. Strongarm glanced over her shoulder at him as she began dressing.

"Is there a particular reason your heart rate and respiration have increased?"

Uh … shit. His face grew hot and he shrugged and tossed them a lopsided grin.

"Yeah. Both of you are quite attractive. Your disguises and your normal bodies, I mean."

"Ah. Thank you." Strika finished dressing in cargo pants, boots, plain black T-shirt, and hip-length leather jacket while maintaining the same neutral expression as always. Probably because she wasn't familiar enough with humans to fully understand such a compliment, Terwilliger assumed.

Strongarm's outfit was similar but her coat was longer. When she finished putting it on, she raised a brow at him.

"Being attracted to someone causes physiological changes in humans?"

"Temporary ones, yeah. Well, the effect can last longer if the people who are attracted to each other begin a long-lasting relationship."

"Ah. I think I understand." Strongarm looked thoughtful for a moment. "Chromia has mentioned the way she felt about Ironhide when they were together. Though, now that I think about it, it probably wasn't quite the same because they didn't have the same equipment these bodies have, but it may have been similar enough."

"I have never experienced anything like that." Strika shrugged. "There was never any time for it and I'm not sure I understand the need, anyway. But perhaps there will be opportunities to learn something new in the future."

I sure hope so. He smiled and nodded as everyone got back in. Strongarm drove them to the motel where a room had been reserved for them. The guy behind the counter had an odd look on his face when he gave them their keycards, as if he suspected something, but he remained professional. When they entered their room, Terwilliger figured it out as soon as he saw that there was only a single bed. The guy had assumed a threesome would be happening tonight.

The bed was king-size, so there was room for all three of them, assuming Cybertronians even needed to sleep. Since they were robots, they might need some sort of downtime to reset or defrag or something, but they could probably do that while standing up or sitting on the floor or whatever.

Huh. I probably should've asked about things like that a long time ago. Well, it'll probably come up later.

"Now that we are here," Strika said, "what should we do first?"

I know where I'd like to start, but I shouldn't rush things. There's no way she could possibly be interested in me, anyway. He placed his duffel bag on the bed and motioned at the door.

"Well, I guess we could start with lunch. It'd give you a chance to try out some of the local cuisine now that you have bodies capable of eating and drinking."

"Sounds interesting," Strongarm said. She caught a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror, walked over to it, placed a fingertip against her cheek and pushed in on it. An unnerved look crossed her face and she muttered, "My surfaces are so squishy."

"Mine, as well." Strika shrugged and opened the door.

Terwilliger chuckled. "And afterward, if you'd like, I can show you around town and introduce you to some of the friends i knew before I moved to the Groom Lake base."

Strika nodded. "Excellent. After letting so many millennia slip through my fingers, I am looking forward to actually learning something."

Terwilliger raised an eyebrow as they got back into Strongarm. "I would've thought you'd learned a few things in the past half-million years or so."

"I wish I had. If I'd learned anything in all this time, I would never have continued fighting on the wrong side of the war for so long." Strika shook her head slowly. "After all these years, I have finally begun to understand only one thing - and it is that I know nothing."

"Well." He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but had no idea if she was ready for that - if she'd even understand the gesture. "We'll do what we can to change that, then."

"That is my hope." She gazed straight ahead for a few minutes as he directed Strongarm to one of his favorite restaurants. Finally, she glanced at him and said, "Then, when we are done for today, perhaps we can return to the motel room and have sex."

What? His heart pounded and he sucked in a deep breath and damn near swallowed his tongue. Strongarm gave him another curious look.

"Your pulse and respiration have changed even more drastically."

"That's just, uh, surprise. I mean, I wasn't expecting Strika to say that at all." He wondered if she were joking. She'd never seemed to have a sense of humor before. Her expression hadn't changed at all, but …

"Humans appear to place a great deal of importance on it but I'm unable to understand why. Perhaps it will be a chance to learn, assuming you are willing."

"So … scientific curiosity, then?"

"That is one reason. You also seem to desire it, according to Ms. Nakadai and a few others. Though that is also beyond my understanding."

Holy shit. I made it that obvious? Before I outright stated it over breakfast, that is? "Well, uh … they're not wrong."

"Good. Perhaps if I experience this, I may begin to understand why so many humans are obsessed with it."

"I'll, uh … I'll try my best." He tugged on his collar and flicked a nervous glance at her. "Uh … did Miko suggest recording it for her?"

"It did come up during a few conversations, yes."

Oh, hell. That could open up a huge can of worms. But would it be a deal-breaker if I say no?

"You have objections?"

"Well, I, uh, I definitely want to have sex with you, but I'm not sure how I feel about making a recording of it. I mean … there are privacy issues and … and, well …"

"It will be recorded in my memory, as everything else I experience is. Those memories could then be used for later study by those with an interest in such matters."

"My memory as well," Strongarm said, "if you're okay with letting me watch."

"I don't understand why there would be any objection, but that may simply be another gap in my knowledge."

Watch?

"It's a matter of curiosity." Strongarm smiled slightly.

Huh. Well, it's nice to see her lightening up after being so dour the whole time I've known her. He cleared his throat.

"Well, uh … we can have lunch and do some sightseeing first, then we'll … um … see how things go, I guess."

"Very well." Strika nodded and faced forward again, and Terwilliger wasn't sure if the ever-so-slight smirk he caught in the corner of his eye was real or something he'd imagined. He forced himself not to shake his head and roll his eyes.

Okay, then. The vacation's off to a hell of a start.