1. Alya Doesn't Post The Interview
"...And that's how Ladybug and I became best friends for life!" Lila finished her tale with a radiant smile.
"And cut!" Alya grinned as she stopped the recording function on her phone. "That's a wrap!" She added cheesily enjoying playing the director to their little masterpiece. Lila giggled in response and flicked her hair over her shoulder charmingly. "Thank you Lila for the interview," Alya said warmly, "it was very enlightening."
"Oh," Lila waved a dismissive hand, "it's not a big deal. If you like I can tell you some more juicy details about Ladybug's romantic feelings for Chat Noir."
"I'd love that!" Alya squealed excitedly. "Maybe we could do a segment together where we discuss all the Ladynoir interactions and analysis them all for further subtext?"
"That sounds marvellous!"
"It would be a good continuing saga on my blog!" Alya said enthusiastically. "And it would totally make up for the fact that I can't post your interview on my blog."
"Wait," Lila scowled, "what?!"
"Well," Alya said a little anxious. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but the atmosphere on the room suddenly changed. It was no longer light and engaging but heavy and tense, and there was something lacking in Lila's eyes that she had only just noticed now. "It wouldn't exactly be a smart idea to post your interview about being Ladybug's best friend."
"Why not?!" Lila snapped crossly. "You were perfectly fine with doing the interview before. What could have possibly made you suddenly gain such apprehensions about a stranger giving you an interview now. Are you saying that you don't believe me?!" Lila wailed at this as large tears began to roll down her cheeks. "Why wouldn't you believe me? I'm being open and honest to you and you ruin it with such nasty implications!"
Alya rubbed her arm uneasily as she suddenly felt like a scummy person. She didn't know why she did but there was just something about the way Lila looked at her and spoke to her that made Alya feel like she was in the wrong.
Which wasn't right because Alya knew Ladybug and Ladybug would never approve of Alya posting such a personal interview that would place innocent people in danger.
Alya wasn't being wrong for having actual journalistic ethics!
"An interview discussing how Ladybug saved you is fine," Alya said a little anxiously, "but an interview with Ladybug's best friend is dangerous. Lila, I'm not doing this because I don't believe you, I'm doing it so Hawk Moth won't target you and put you and your loved ones in danger!"
"Really?" Lila said quietly, "or is just because you're jealous?"
Alya felt like she just had the wind knocked out of her.
Lila thought that Alya's concern for her health and safety was down to jealousy?! What kind of weirdo reaction is that?! Seriously! Who could accuse someone of jealousy when they're doing their best to protect them?!
Someone who was in the wrong, that's who!
Indignation rose up within Alya as she clenched her phone tightly. "You know," she said crossly, "you seem so intent to have this posted in spite of the threat it was would cause to you that I can only assume you've been lying just to get yourself fifteen minutes of fame."
"Urgh!" Lila threw her hands up in disgust. "Fine! You got me!"
"Unbelievable!" Alya spluttered. "Why on earth would you lie about this?! Don't you understand how dangerous it is in Paris right now? This is the time for truth and justice to rise up to the occasion not for people to make things worse by lying!"
"Please," Lila snorted disgustedly, "I was just giving you what you wanted. It's not my fault you were going to be foolish enough to verify my story before you posted it. Ah well," she shrugged uncaringly, "I don't need you anyway. I've established my fame on my own before, I can do it again."
Alya was left gawping after Lila as the Italian girl strolled out of her room as if nothing insidious had happened whatsoever. The lunatic even had the audacity to turn round a blow a mocking kiss at Alya before she left down the road for good.
With a furious snarl, Alya immediately deleted the interview before she went to write a rant on one of her other blogs.
(Lila soon found out she was quite wrong about not needing Alya.
Alya's angry rant had been read by majority of the class – all of which followed each and every one of Alya's blogs if only just to get her off of their back – and they all took what Lila said with a large handful of salt. With the lack of verification and support from Alya, there was no particular buzz about the new girl at school and the lack of attention made Lila more irritable and snappier by the time she finally accosted Adrien.
Adrien, having no reason to believe Lila might be connected to Ladybug and ergo help him woo his Lady, didn't take kindly to a strange girl trying to drag him into the library when he wanted to hang out with Nino.
Remembering Nathalie's lectures, Adrien didn't hesitate when he took a deep breath and screamed 'STRANGER DANGER!'
Lila then spent her first month in detention and the rest of her academic career in Paris as the 'creepy stalker fangirl'.
No one ever bothered to learn her name.)
2. Paris Isn't Safe
"I see," Ms Rossi said quietly after Lila spun her tale of tragical woe on why she couldn't go back to school any more, "the Akuma situation has become that troublesome?"
"Yes, Mama!" Lila twittered sweetly. "It's so very horrific after the last attack. Five of my classmates are still in the hospital because Ladybug and Chat Noir are so inept! The school had absolutely no choice but to close down!"
It gave Lila such gratification to put down Ladybug in anyway possible. After all it was totally Ladybug's fault that Lila had to come up with a new host of lies to why she shouldn't go to school! If Ladybug had just kept her sanctimonious nose out of Lila's business and not shamed Lila in front of Adrien Agreste then Lila would be able to go to school like a normal person.
Instead she had to weave a new web of lies so her mother wouldn't force her to school and the school wouldn't contact her mother.
It was barely nine in the morning and already Lila was exhausted.
(Her mother was already eating in the palm of Lila's hand though. Just a little longer and she could be lounging on her bed with snacks and movies to her heart content.)
"Yes that is understandable," Ms Rossi nodded slowly in agreement, "after all schools are such hotbeds for heated emotions between teenagers."
It took all of Lila's strength to not roll her eyes at her mother's obvious statement. Only a moron would shove a bunch of kids in one building and minimal supervision while they were going through puberty and expect them NOT to have heated emotions. The schools in Paris must be such fine hunting grounds for the likes of Hawk Moth. There was always going to be at least one pathetic teenager who thinks their life as they know it has ended today.
Instead Lila plastered on a suitability sincere and concerned expression on her face. "I know!" She exclaimed. "And then there's the structural damage to the school building because Chat Noir used his cataclysm inappropriately and Ladybug's Miraculous Cure didn't heal the damage! The school is such a danger zone that they had no choice but to send us all home until the situation is resolved!"
"Well then," Ms Rossi said determinedly, "it's clear that you can't go back to school, it's far too dangerous!" Lila nodded empathetically as she tried her very best not to smirk at her victory. Honestly! Her mother made it far too easy sometimes. "So my only option is to send you back to Italy to live with your grandmother!"
And instantly, Lila landed back in reality with a horrible thud.
"WHAT?!" Lila screeched. "You're sending me away! Mama!"
"Lila, honey!" Ms Rossi cried out as she forced Lila into a stranglehold embrace. "You're my baby! I couldn't let anything bad happen to you! If the Akuma problem is that bad that the school has to shut down then keeping you in Paris would be the irresponsible and neglectful thing to do! It is my duty as your parent to not keep you close to me but to keep you safe!"
"Hush darling!" Ms Rossi cooed as she stroked Lila's hair. "It will be hard to be apart from one another but I promise I'll do my best to get home to you as quickly as possible."
And on that bitter note, Lila was forced to pack her bags as Ms Rossi made the arrangements to send her back to Italy.
Nothing, no lie, no admittance of truth, not one emotional manipulation, moved her mother to change her mind.
Lila sulked the whole journey back to Italy.
(Meanwhile the entire school forgot all about Lila Rossi within two months and never again did Adrien or Marinette or even Alya gave the liar a second thought for the rest of their lives.)
3. Everyone Uses Google
"You see," Lila sobbed dramatically, "I have tinnitus because I rescued Jagged Stone's cat from being run over by an air plane!"
This lie – while one of the biggest fibs Lila ever told – was cleverly designed by Lila to instantly woo over her classmates against the annoyingly self-righteous Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She had stalked each and every one of them on social media to discover their likes and dislikes, and they were all sickeningly huge fans of Jagged Stone, heroics, and cats. It didn't take too long to think of something they would eat up without a single thought.
So it was incredibly insulting to Lila that the moment those words left her lips that each and every one of her classmates picked up their mobile phones and started to GOOGLE THE DAMN THING!
"Liar!" Alix snorted. "I can't find anything here."
"I typed Jagged Stone and Cat," Max said flatly, "and the only results are memes of Jagged Stone and Chat Noir and an interview where Jagged Stone says he is allergic to animal fur."
"I searched for Jagged Stone and pets and it says here that Jagged only has a crocodile!" Mylene exclaimed as she glowered at Lila. "There's nothing about a cat whatsoever!"
"I looked up Jagged Stone and Lila," Chloe declared dramatically, "and there was nothing whatsoever. How ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, to make such bold lies in this day and age! It's like you grew up in a underground bunker with no access to real life to believe such stupidity would work!"
The rest of the class grumbled and before Lila knew it she found herself shoved into the back and ignored as Ms Bustier forced everyone to put their phones away and focus on the class.
Lila swore one day she'll destroy Google as she stabbed her workbook with her pen so viscously ink squelched out all of her fingers.
Her shrill screams were duly ignored by everyone.
(From the moment onwards every time Lila lied someone whipped out their mobile phone and proved her wrong. This infuriated Lila so much that she became the most Akumatised person in all of Paris. Even her non-Google-able lies such as Marinette stealing the test paper or pushing her down the stairs or stolen her family heirloom were taken seriously because Lila was so well known by the school as the biggest liar ever.
The frustration and anger of constantly being thwarted eventually led to such a severe mental breakdown that Lila stole the nearest mobile phone before throwing it onto the ground and jumping up and down on it until it smashed to pieces while letting out the highest, shrillest, hyena laugh known to man.
Unfortunately for her the mobile phone belonged to Officer Rogers and she was instantly arrested for vandalism.
Lila spent the rest of her life heavily medicated and on multiple watchlists.)
4. Only One Needs To Swap Seats
"I can always swap with Kim!"
"And if Rose swaps with Mylene-!"
"Me and Chloe could also move-!"
Adrien watched with wide, bewildered, eyes as his classmates all fell over one another in a chaotic dance to swap seats to accommodate Lila. He had no doubt, whatsoever, that Lila was lying through her teeth when she claimed to have a hearing disability but even if she was telling the truth, he couldn't comprehend why EVERYONE needed to swap seats and moved about like little puppets when Lila only needed to swap with ONE person.
The lack of common sense and logic steadily got to him when he suddenly found himself loudly coughing to get everyone's attention.
As if by magic, the whole class froze to look at him.
"Forgive me," he said softly, "but I'm at a loss why everyone needs to swap seats to accommodate Lila."
"A-A-Adrien!" Lila sniffled. "How could you? I thought you weren't that sort of guy!"
Everyone whirled round to glower at Adrien. "Adrien," Mylene said appalled, "how could you?"
Adrien almost shrank back at smothering fury that was all aimed at him but he sternly reminded himself that a. he was a superhero and therefore dealt with worse and b. he was on the moral high ground on this one.
"How could I what?" He asked in his most polite and falsely bewildered voice. "I haven't done anything. I'm merely stating I don't understand why everyone has to swap seats when only one person needs to swap with Lila. Why does it matter where everyone behind Lila sits? Only Lila matters."
"Oh," Mylene deflated. "Sorry Adrien," she mumbled shyly, "I don't know why I jumped to such a conclusion. You're always so thoughtful."
Adrien flushed as his other classmates murmured their own sheepish apologies and Lila scowled. Her irritation for not being centre of the attention was so palpable that Adrien was just utterly baffled to how no one else (but Marinette) could notice what an awful human being she was.
"So," Adrien said mildly, "how about everyone return to their own seats and I'll move to the back for Lila?"
"Oh no!" Lila gasped dramatically. "I could never force you to move Adrien! You love school! It would be so unforgivable."
Plagg always said that Adrien wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed (which, you know, rude!) but even Adrien could tell that Lila was phoney as hell and lying just to sit next to Adrien.
Adrien vowed to do whatever it takes to never let that happen.
"I don't mind," Adrien said, "in fact I insist on moving to the back. Your education is just important Lila and I couldn't bear it if your grades suffered because I was so selfish to keep my front row seat."
"Oh Adrien!" Ms Bustier clasped her hands together. "What a shining star you are! Lila you sit in Adrien's seat and Adrien will sit in the back. Everyone back to your seats and we shall start our lesson, oh?" Ms Bustier blinked round wildly as she scanned the room. "Has anyone else seen Marinette?"
In the end Marinette was late – as usual – and Adrien found that the view of her flustered ramblings were just as good in the back row as it was in the front row. Only now he could keep watching her as she whispered worriedly to Alya throughout the class without anyone else noticing.
Adrien opts to stay in the back for the rest of the school year.
(Meanwhile Lila sulked for the whole lesson and used her latest Akuma form to try and rearrange the seating plan once more. It flopped epically and she found herself still stuck next to Nino of all people for the rest of the school year.
The injustice of it all made Lila scream furiously into her pillow every night.)
5. Gabriel is a Paranoid Parent
Gabriel Agreste watched unimpressed as Lila Rossi smugly swaggered her way into his office.
If he had any doubts to his decision before they had certainly evaporated upon the sight of this unseemly arrogant child with empty eyes and a complete lack of a conscience. Every one of his keen business instincts screamed to him that this girl was a deranged psychopath (believe him, he had met enough of those in his climb to fame) and there was no way, not even an icy day in hell, was he going to let this lunatic near his precious son.
"Miss Rossi you did something very unprecedented when you talked yourself into my house last night," Gabriel started with his usual cold formalities, "I normally would be impressed by your ability to circumvent your way round my highly expensive and deadly security system with just your tongue and immediately offer you a deal."
Lila's eyes lit up with a malicious glee that Gabriel had only seen in unrepentant criminals. "Oh I can be very useful," she simpered sickeningly, "and I wouldn't want much. Just some time with Adrien to free him from some recent corruptive influences. I'm not sure you're aware but Marinette Dupain-Cheng especially is a-"
Gabriel threw down the thick file he had been clutching tightly onto the desk. It was overstuffed with some very worrying reports and made a rather impressive banging noise as it landed on his desk. Lila blinked bewilderedly as Gabriel stared down at her coolly.
"Oh I am very aware of the corruptive influences in my son's life," Gabriel said calmly, "and I know for a fact that Miss Dupain-Cheng is not one of them. That would, of course, require her to be able to form a constructive sentence in Adrien's presence for a start."
"I wouldn't believe that stammering fool facade if I were you!" Lila hissed venomously. Her eyes narrowed irritably at Gabriel's defence for a poor girl who was near to nothing in Adrien's life. Her rage and jealous was so apparent that once again Gabriel had to wonder what exactly they were teaching in that school of Adrien's for no one to have noticed this bile before. "She acts all innocent and sweet but the truth is that she's a viper and-"
"Miss Rossi I would like to believe that you are not entirely stupid to ignore the fact that I use the best security system available in my home," Gabriel interrupted unwillingly to submit himself to an angry jealous teenage girl rant. "There are many security cameras, reinforced bullet proof metal shutters for the window, a laser system that fires intense beams that could burn a hole in human skin, and of course an immediate alarm to the local police station for assistance."
He decided to not mention the missiles he had stocked underneath his mansion or the secret passages or the secret panic room. There was no need to air out all of his secrets after all.
"All of this I had installed to protect my only child," Gabriel continued calmly. "Of course, Adrien cannot be kept at home all of the time and I have hired the best bodyguard with a very violent military history to always protect my son when he ventures outside."
Lila snorted and Gabriel would admit (though not out loud to this brat) the fact that the Gorilla was far too easily manipulated by teenagers was most certainly going to come up in the next employee review (which was as soon as Gabriel dealt with this nonsense.). Gabriel took a deep, soothing, breath to calm down that particular spike of irritation before he continued his speech.
"The school, much to my never-ending frustration, refuse to let him shadow Adrien at school but if you think for one second that I would not have background checks on all of Adrien's classmates, their families, and of course the teachers, to ensure there were no dangerous elements surrounding my one and only child, then you would be the biggest fool on the planet," Gabriel smiled pleasantly down at Lila. "Do you understand what I am saying you impertinent brat?!"
There was a long silence as Lila's eyes widened and her face paled while realisation of Gabriel's implications sunk in.
"You shouldn't believe everything you read!" Lila snapped. "Some people will just say about anything when they're jealous of their superiors."
"Miss Rossi I am a recluse not a moron," Gabriel said firmly, "my private detective is someone who has been on my retainer for many years and are excellent at what they do. I would never allow anything less substantial. This file is accurate and reliable, and I am far too aware of what sort of person you are."
The word person was too good to describe the little monster in human form who sat before him.
"I am a famous businessman for a reason and perhaps in another world I would find you to be a very useful asset." For he would never think of her as a human being worth any actual genuine attention. "However I am parent first and foremost, and a very paranoid one as I am sure is now evident to you, and I must place my child's safety above all else. So tell me Miss Rossi, knowing exactly what you have done in the past, why the hell should I let you near my son?"
Lila opened her mouth defensively but Gabriel held up a silencing hand.
"That was a rhetorical question," He said curtly. "I have no desire to hear your pathetic arguments for your own selfish interests that would undoubtedly get my son killed. You may leave now and if I ever hear you have approached my son or caused him any upset then this file will find itself in some very interested parties' hands."
"What can you do?" Lila sneered. "I have diplomatic immunity!"
"Ms Rossi I'm not a fourteen year old girl who knows nothing of politics," Gabriel smirked, bemused of her ridiculous attempt of intimidation. "I also know your mother is a secretary to the Italian Ambassador and not of anyone of any significant importance. Her immunity does not extend to you and even if it did, I can assure you it would not protect you from your father."
Lila's pale pallor had now turned chalky white with a fascinating tinge of green. A pity Gabriel couldn't capture the colour, for it would make a brilliant Halloween one-off to induce some additional sales.
"Now then," Gabriel drawled out, "I do believe you were about to leave my office."
He watched perfectly content as Lila shuffled out of his office. All of her smug arrogance lost as she kept her head ducked down and her arms wrapped around herself reassuring. Now if only Gabriel had a chance to do this with Andre's brat...
"I'm confused Sir," Nathalie said as she stepped into the office, "I thought you wanted Lila Rossi to stir up trouble at the school for another mass Akumatisation? What made you change your mind?"
Gabriel didn't let the questioning of his decisions get to him (this time) as he had done a lot of terrible things as of late in order to attempt to save his wife's life. He had deliberately manipulated many people's feelings to ensure a new shiny Akuma plenty of times before and it was perfectly natural for Nathalie to expect this time to be no different.
"The same reason why I would never Akumatise a criminal," Gabriel said quietly, "I have common sense."
"Understood," Nathalie replied flatly. "...Would you like me to phone the school and ensure Miss Rossi is transferred into a different class from Adrien?"
(Lila fumed furiously for weeks when she arrived at school only to find herself transferred into a different class.
The lack of contact with Adrien was infuriating enough (especially as he got closer and closer to the likes of Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Kagami Tsurugi!) but the fact the lack of constant contact seemed to cause all of her followers to forget she existed and not invite her to meet ups outside of school was particularly frustrating.
Lila had quickly found herself isolated and alone just as she promised Marinette would. She vowed, right there on the spot after her interview with Gabriel Agreste, to have her revenge on the whole Agreste family including that stuck up personal assistant!
(She had totally looked down her nose at Lila!)
Her attempts were brushed away immediately when Officer Rogers dragged her away from the Agreste Mansion. No one believed her when she tried to tell them that Gabriel Agreste threatened her to stay away from his son nor did they believe her when she tried to insinuate there was something wrong about Gabriel Agreste, and soon enough there were implications of a lawsuit against her for slander.
Which inevitably lead to her mother threatening to send Lila back to Italy if she didn't behave.
With no friends, no Adrien, her mother and all the other adults in the world against her Lila could have choked on her rage.
She was so furious that she thought she could have summoned the ultimate Akuma and burn the whole city into ashes. Unfortunately Gabriel Agreste somehow managed to get to Hawk Moth as well as when she eagerly snatched up a dark purple butterfly flying past one afternoon she got the immediate brush off!
"Miss Rossi please stop grabbing my butterflies," Hawk Moth said icily, "I may be desperate but I do have some standards."
Lila's enraged screams were duly ignored by everyone in Paris.
It had become part of the normal background noise for the city now.)