"Hey Melissa! Hey Zack!" Milo walked over to them from his house, arms laden with books. "You have arrived just in time!"
"Great, I guess." Zack replied, eying the bundle of books. "What's with the armful?"
"It's that time of year again, Zack!" Milo grinned, putting the books down and stacking them in three even piles.
"I don't follow." Zack scratched the back of his head and looked towards Melissa.
"The Murphy family are huge bookworms, but Murphy's law makes returning them..." She pursed her lips. "Dificult."
Milo tries to take some books across the street. "BILLY GOAT!" He yells, getting trampled by a stampede who promptly eat the books. "Drat." He says.
Sara Murphy has some books on the bus. "Billy goat ahead." She warns the driver as a swarm of them enter the bus and eat the books. "Drat." She says.
Mr. Murphy cautiously steps toward the library. Nothing happens. "Huh, that's weird." He says. "Usually--" a hot air balloon shaped like a goat falls on him. When he gets back up, the books fall to ash from the flame. "Drat." He says."
Ok, I think I get the idea." Zack said. "Those flashbacks felt really long for some reason, though."
"Right?" Melissa exclaimed.
"That still doesn't tell me why Milo is taking the books back today, though."
"That's cause today is "Fine Forgiveness day!" Milo replied. "As a result of the various mishaps that accompany us trying to return these things, we tend to accrue a TON of late fees! Some of them in the hundreds!"
They stood in silence for a moment. Zack raised his eyebrow.
"He's not lying." Melissa noted.
"Now I've heard everything." Zack quipped.
"Not to worry Zack! Together, we can get these books safely to the library."
"Didn't you notice the piles?" Melissa went over and picked one of them.
"Alright," Zack picked up another one. "Let's get go--"
"Goats." Milo deadpanned, pulling them back as a stampede tore across the street.
"This is absurd." Cavendish said.
Dakota groaned. "Are you gonna launch into another tirade about how it's beneath us and our talents to be picking up alien trash?"
"No, I was speaking of the size of that pile of alien trash." He noted. "Which is not to say that I wont complain later."
"As long as you don't try to concoct another hairbrained scheme to get Mr. Bloc to promote us." Dakota replied, putting scraps of metal into his bag. While doing so, he pressed a button on one of them. As he did so, Cavendish raised his head and suddenly found it stuck within the metal panel of a ship.
"Oops!" Dakota said, pressing the button. Cavendish dropped to the ground, eyes wide.
"Press that botton again!" He exclaimed, holding up a piece of scrap. When the ship appeared again, the scrap was stuck half inside the ship.
"Dakota! Do you know what this means!?"
Dakota sighed. "The human body is surprisingly durable?"
"Well yes, though I do have a bit of a sore throat. This is reality phasing technology! It's unprecedented." Cavendish stood up. "With this, we can convince Mr. Blo-- OW!" He bonked his head on the bottom of the ship.
"Well WHAT are we waiting for?" Dakota asked, sarcastically.
"Indeed." Cavendish replied, rubbing his head. "We must-- was that sarcasm?"
"No matter. Let's go!"
"I've actually never walked down the old goat trail portion of downtown!" Milo exclaimed.
"Old goat trail?" Zack asked. "Isn't that just asking for trouble?"
"Not really." Melissa said. "It hasn't been used as a goat trail in decades."
"Yup!" Milo added. "It's been turned into a fairground where they hold the annual Goat Appreciation festival."
Indeed, they turned a corner and the entire ground was decked out with displays, food, and booths.
"A Goat Appreciation festival on the same day as Fine Forgiveness day?" Zack asked.
"I realized the irony after I said it." Milo noted. Suddenly, he turned to look down and spotted Diogee holding a bag in his mouth.
"Diogee! What have you got there?" Grabbing the bag, he read the note. "Dear Milo, remembered what today was and sent Diogee with these goat repelling ziploc bags. Send him back when he's done. Love mom." He looked at the others. "Truly her sense of preparedness is unmatched!" As they put the books in the bags, Milo turned to Diogee. "Good boy. Now it's time for you to go home. He's not supposed to be at a goat festival." He said to the others as Diogee walked away.
"Now we just have to get through here." Zack noted. "Great."
*Doofenshmirtz Good Incorporated!*
Perry the Platypus rolled into the room, right into a perfect three point landing.
"Oh, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz said. "You got my text!"
Perry rattled his teeth.
"Well you see, I was struck with an epiphany." He walked over to the entrance of the shed. "Yesterday, I went on a hiking trip deep in the woods. Suddenly, it occured to me that I was thinking much more clearly. I also noticed the fact that this occured to me. It then hit me: I've been around the Murphy's negative probability ions for far too long! It's draining all my smart ideas that I normally have!"
Perry looks at you with a look that just screams "really?"
"Not that I had many smart ideas... Normally." Doofenshmirtz admitted. "But no longer! Behold, I purchased a new building!"
Perry looked towards the downtown area, where a shiny purple skyscraper had risen. Right of the side facing him was the sign:
*Professor Time good incorporated!*"
Like it, Perry the Platypus?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "I even got the jingle changed! That's right, Perry the Platypus, I am moving out of the Murphy's house, and taking my destiny with both hands! They wont be seeing me all season!"
Perry raised an eyebrow.
"You know, all this spring." Doofenshmirtz said. "Maybe summer and fall too. You know what, maybe for the entire year... Anyway, I need help moving. Are you game?"
Perry shrugged and picked up a box.
"Excellent! Let's go!"
"Well that was a close one." Zack noted, picking goat hair of his clothes.
"I know, right?" Melissa added as she shook goat milk off pf her. "Who knew there was a whole festival in Danville dedicated to goats?"
"Well, this IS the same city that has a festival dedicated entirely to bees." Milo said, mud and $5 crafts dripping off him.
"Not to mention it is annual, so you should have known it was happening." Zack noted.
"Touche." She replied.
"Well, we're only a mile away." Zack said. "All we have do is pass the Danville Dam."
Up on the top of the dam...
"Are you sure we were supposed to deliver 17,000 hammers and chisels to this location?" A worker asked.
"Beats me." The other replied. "I'm an extra, they don't tell me anything."
Near the junkyard...
"Hold on Dakota!" Cavendish exclaimed as he pressed a button on the ship's panel.
"Do you know how to fly this?" Dakota asked.
"No?" Cavendish replied as the ship suddenly took off.
"Man Perry the Platypus, I am going to miss this show." Doofenshmirtz said. "I mean, why would they cancel Super Team, Heroes united?! Its much better than the replacement. Pfft, Super Team Assemble my nose!"
"Well yeah, guess I'll miss the Murphy house too." Doofenshmirtz admitted. "I've had so many good times there! That time that I sent Milo's dad to a cake event... The time I cut up Sara's limted edition curtains to make pajamas... The time I turned Milo's mom's gulash into a sentient robot..." He stopped short. "You know, maybe it is a good thinf I'm leaving."
"You are RIGHT Perry the Platypus! I shall now follow my destiny! Nothing will distract my razor sharp mi-- ooo look, a quarter!" Just as he bent to pick it up, the ship piloted by Dakota and Cavendish slammed into the box he had on his box, sending one of the inators spinning towards the dam...
Where it clatted harmlessly to the feet of one of the workmen.
"Man, good thing this random object didn't cause these hammer and chisels to chip away at this dam." He said.
"Dude, stop. You kniw what they say about foreshadowing and tempting fate at the agency." The other said.
The inator stopped clattering, which hit its self destruct button. This caused the chisels to rain down on the dam.
"Wow, that was close." Zack said. Melissa punched him in the arm. "Ow, what was that for."
The hammers knocked the chisels into the base of the dam, causing cracks and sprays of water to appear.
"Nevermind, I see my mkstake now." Zack noted as a flood of water rushed towards them.
"I got it!" Yelled Milo, dumping his books into Zack's arms. Inflating a raft, he rushed through the waves on pure intertia, flipped, and pulled a wad of bubblegum from his backpack. This blew up large enough the cover the dam and stop the flood.
"Easy peasy!" Milo said. He then noticed his backpack was stuck. "Oh." He slipped out of it and walked over over the the now soaked Melissa and Zack. "Good thing those books got covered in ziplocs earlier!"
"No kidding." Melissa said. "Now let's get to the library."
"Indeed sir, you will be amazed when you see what we have discovered!" Cavendish exclaimed.
Mr. Bloc looked like he was trying hard not to yawn. "Surprise me, gentlemen."
Cavendish gestured towards the ship behind him. "What may seem like an unassuming ship is, in reality, able to shift reality!"
Mr. Bloc seemed very interested. "Gentlmen, if that is true, it is unprecedented! I see promotions in your future."
Cavendish squeed, and Dakota perked up. While they were looking at Mr. Bloc, a wave came by and washed over the ship.
"Now then sir, observe. Dakota?"
Dakota pressed the button, but the ship did nothing. Cavendish chuckled nervously as Dakota furiously pushed the button.
"Er, sir, im sure there's a perfectly normal--"
"Gentlemen, gentlemen, how do i say this politely... You've been unable to complete even the simplest of tasks, failed everything I've given you to do, and chased wild gooses to the complete waste of my time."
Cavendish cleared his throat. "That's um, geese sir."
Mr. Bloc smiled more, and through gritted teeth said, "You are fired. Good day gentlemen."
As his face cleared from the screen, the ship phased out of reality. Cavendish noticed.
"Now that is really just absurd."
At the library...
"We made it!" Zack cheered, nearly running into Doofenshmirtz.
"Oh hi Dr. D!" Milo said.
"Hello Milo and Milo's friends!" Doofenshmirtz said.
"Hello Agent P." Melissa said. "Dr. D, are you moving?"
"That is great, but also too bad." Milo said. "We've had so many great memories, like the time you sent my dad to a cake event, or caused my mom's gulash to gain sentience, or cut up my sister's limited edition Dr. Zone curtains to make pajamas..." He narrowed his eyes. "Actually on second thought it's probably a good idea you're movimg out."
"Yup! I've already begun work on some new inators. For example-- behold! The goat away inator!" He held up a device shaped like a goat's head.
The kids gasped.
"It's a flamethrower, watch." He activated it, and the flame quickly burnt the books to a crisp.
"It's like your dad's worst nightmare." Zack noted to Milo.
"Mine's too." Melissa added.
"Oops." Doofenshmirtz paused for a moment. "I think I'll go now. Uh... bye." He walked away. Perry tipped his hat at them and walked after him.
"Too bad about the books, Milo." Melissa said.
"Not to worry, Melissa! Those were the decoys!" Milo exclaimed. "Nothing but cardboard and tape! The real books are safe..." He trailed off. The others looked where he was staring. Near the dam, a spurt of water caused his backpack to unstick and start floating down the stream.
"They're in your backpack, aren't they." Zack asked.
"Well, there's always next year." Milo replied. In the distance, a goat bleated.
It's my world and we're all living in it!