Ben wasn't expecting for the breakup to hurt this much, he thought it would be the best thing for Callum but standing there looking at Callum he realised just how much Ben had broken his heart. He had never felt such guilt. Maybe Callum was telling the truth when he had told him he was in love with him, Ben tried to disregard it. Ben believes that it was too good to be true nothing good ever happens to him right? Well it did but this time it wasn't phil that ruined it, or homophobic people. It was Ben and standing there Ben realised what he had done but he couldn't go back now, there is still the dire need to protect Callum which was what he kept telling himself.
"I know you love me Ben, just like i love you" Callum blurted out, not sure who he was convincing
Ben took a minute to reply to Callum, unsure how to. Whether to tell the truth which was that he very much loved Callum, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Callum but he was terrified of anything or more precisely anyone getting too close.
"I do love you Callum, I- I- Callum you are the best thing that has ever happened to me" Ben rambled not meaning for any of those words to leave his mouth
Callum was confused as to why Ben would end something that meant so much, that was everything to both Ben and Callum. He was unsure what to say.
"Why? Ben, if i meant as much as you say i do then why would you break my heart?" Callum hesitated but he felt like it was a question that was very much needing to be asked
Ben never said anything he just looked at the ground trying not to make any eye contact. He never meant for any of this to happen or to say that, he should have never have said that. Why give Callum hope? Nothing good ever happens to Ben, he doesn't deserve Callum.
"Don't say that you want to 'protect' me Ben it's more than that, you know that I am very much capable of protecting myself" Callum shouted trying to get Ben to listen and for Ben to just look at him or to even get a few words out of him.
"Fine! I'm sorry Callum, I wasn't meant to be so cruel or break your heart but i needed you to listen" Ben croaked, tears nearly falling from his eyes.
Callum just wanted to run over, hold him, tell him everything would be okay but why give him hope?
"Ben, i know you-" Callum was trying to plead but Ben cut him off
"No you don't Callum! You don't know what I am capable of, the things i have done. You are the most caring, sensitive and joyful person I have ever met, you shouldn't be with someone like me, someone who will ruin you" Ben ranted but it seemed he was trying to convince himself rather than Callum
Callum was infuriated with everyone telling him what he needs. He is old enough to do what he wants. Why does everyone feel the need to tell him what is best for him. It's his life. This is it, this is where it ends.
"Ben. You don't get to decide who is good or who isn't good for me. I make my own decisions, I chose you! Don't you get it Ben. The only reason you ended things wasn't because you were trying to protect me, you're scared! Of falling in love, of falling for me, of loving me. The only person that is going to ruin your life Ben isn't the world, or Phil. It's you. Just stop Ben, tell me i'm right. It isn't too late to save this, to save us. Tell me that you want to be with me." fumed Callum, he wanted an answer.
Ben was taken back, he was not expecting Callum to realise what was really going on. Maybe everything will be fine, he thought to himself.
Ben was hesitating before speaking, carefully picking his words.
"You're right Callum. You're right." Ben agreed with Callum
Ben was terrified, he had never been like this before. So scared of falling in love, ever since Paul he thought he didn't deserve it but he just wants to be happy and he feels so so unbelievably happy with Callum. Maybe he does deserve to be happy.
"Callum. Please don't go. Let's go home. I'm so sorry. I- I- love you Callum more than i have ever loved anyone and that, that scares the hell out of me but I know that I can't live without you" Ben had never wanted to get something of his chest than he did those words, he couldn't live without Callum.
Callum had never been so happy to hear someone speak, to hear those words. The "I love you" is echoing in his mind. He has the biggest, warmest smile across his face.
"Of course I'll go home with you." Callum beamed
Ben felt such relief. Callum dropped his bag and ran towards Ben hugging him, scared of ever letting him go. Ben let the tears just flow from his eyes unable to contain them. Ben took Callum's hands off him and held Callum's face in his hands not believing that someone like Callum is in his life, someone who loves him.
"I love you Callum Highway" Ben gushed with the most genuine smile
Callum unable to stop the smile from forming from ear to ear, grinning so much his eyes crinkled.
"I love you too Ben Mitchell" Callum said almost giggling because of how happy he was, of how happy Ben made him.
Ben and Callum took each others hands and strolled down the street heading towards Callum's house. Their home. This was going to be the best Christmas ever.
Callum broke down Ben's walls.