With my eyes closed, I move my raised hand across the deck. Which one is calling to me? Where is my energy being pulled? Where is it shifting? My fingertips flutter to the right of the deck. A bolt of electricity no more then an electric shock stops me. I freeze. Right here. This is the one. My index finger and is pulled down as if tightening a shoelace. This was the hard part. I pick up the card and turn it over. First peeking with my left eye and then my right. Both open eyes open now as I take in the card. The magus. A reversed magus. I sigh.
"I saw this coming" Nana chimes from behind me. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing?" I say as I run my fingers over the card. The surface is rough. The corners are bent. Was it stress or nerves that made me play on the edges so much. I didn't know but all I do know is that I pulled this card a lot.
"Louisa you've pulled that card every day for as long as I can remember. Don't you want a change" I had been doing my own reading with Nana's guidance so it was customary that she sat behind me while I sat in front of the vanity mirror. I looked at myself in the mirror. My curly afro was racing towards my elbow and was screaming for a trim. I was told often that my face was unapproachable, it was probably because of the natural pout in my lips when my face was neutral. To counteract this I chose to smile a lot and this worked because people said I had a great smile! But lately, that didn't mean much as my deep brown eyes were hollow. I wanted more than anything to put life back to where it had been. It's just the how part I was struggling with.
The process of grief is a hard road to navigate. It's hard to climb a mountain without a harness.
I looked myself dead in the eye and vocalize my confirmation, the same confirmation I said every morning. I really wanted to mean it this time, "I don't lack energy, I am energy. I am a river and the water within me runs true and free."
I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up. Nana is smiling down at me and speaks softly, " Lou, I really felt your spirit shift just then, what changed?."
"I mean it this time" I replied while looking at her reflection. Nana had always been there for me, and when I lost my mum she was there to pick up my shattered pieces. She opened up her home to me and put me back together piece by piece. Hand dainty but always carefully and sure. When I arrived she sensed my energy had dropped and my connection to our talent was weak. She thought it would be a good idea to start practicing the basics again and we started with a tarot reading. I had given many people readings ever since I discovered I had the gift. In all my 19 years I had never thought to make myself the subject. Other people were so easy to read. But after my loss, I couldn't even manage that. It was as though my experience and skill decreased. So it's back to basics for me and for the past six months I had pulled the reversed magus. Every day I carried the card around with me feeling as though it had set the tone for the day and I wouldn't be able to change it. Maybe it was time I took my fate into my own hands
I feel a tingling sensation in my hand and look down. The colors on the card begin to merge. Blues into greens, yellows into oranges, pinks into purples. The colors spin and swirl. Finally settling into the magus again. "It's changed! It's the right way up!."I jump out of my seat holding the card close to my eyes, scared if I turned away it would return to its original form.
"It would look like things are looking up" she burst into a roaring laugh and takes my seat. Whipping a fake tear from the corner of her eye. I smile. I'll let her have that one, what harm could it do. I slip the card into my skirt pocket and slip on my sandals and grab my tote bag. "Keep telling jokes like that and the world will lose a seer and gain a comedian". "Now let's go!" I say as I usher her out of the door and into the car.
We were on our way to Sue's house for a BBQ. Nana had introduced me to Sue six months ago when I first arrived without any money or job prospects. She needed a receptionist for her Clinic on the reservation and I was more than happy to join. Over the next six months, Sue had become my confidant and friend, she had an aura like gravity. Her aura invited you in with open arms and you found yourself gravitating towards her. We pulled into Sue's house and parked behind her car. Sue came out onto the veranda and greeted us. I walked up to the stairs and hugged after setting the Tupperware down, Sue had to bend down a little to reach Nana as her back had begun to curl in her old age.
"So happy you guys could make it," she says like guiding Nana and me through the front door.
"Thank you for inviting us I've made some patties for the grill," Nana replies before I could get a word in.
"That sounds great, Lou why don't you take them to the back while I get Nana something to drink"
I can hear Sue ask Nana if she wanted some lemonade and she replied, "Oh Sue I know you have something a bit stronger than lemonade! I'm not driving so treat me, won't cha!"
I laugh and begin to make my way through the house when I was hit by an overwhelming aura. And then another and another. It wasn't like the normal aura that emitted from a body, it was hard to grasp or pin down. As soon as you felt you had a clear view of it it would disappear from you peripheral or slip through your fingers. I continued to walk through the house towards the back door out into the garden when I spotted Billy. Billy was a character and a good friend of Sue's he often visited the clinic.
"Hey Lou, how're doing"
"I'm good thanks"
"What have you got there"
"Oh my Nana makes really good spices burgers, so we've made some for the grill," I say juggling the box from hand to hand.
"That just great! We've got a hungry bunch, give them to my son Jake at the grill and he'll whip em up." I just expected because Sue was old enough to me my mum that her guest would all be a similar age. Oh, boy, was I wrong there were a lot of people here my age. A lot of guys to be specific. I looked around the garden that was endless as the edge was backed by the forest for Billy's son, Jake. I saw two guys by the grill, they were ripped. To be fair all the guys here were ripped. As I walked towards them I felt the obscure aura resurface again. But this time I knew for sure it belonged to them. It moved in waves around them, it seemed to test it reins and go further with every new wave and then back to the center. It reminded me of a puppy exploring a new home.
Both guys had clearly been kissed by the sun, their tanned skin gave out the feeling of the afternoon sun against your face when the tide is calm and you wait for the moon to shine. One stood behind the bar in a kitchen apron that was clearly too small for him. He was chatting it up to the other equally as tall guy next to him. He looked to be holding the bun the patty was about to go in. Billy said the one at the Grill right? Which one was it? I walk up to them and say "Jake? " I look at both just as a precaution.
"That's me," the one holding the bun says pointing to himself with it with a wide smile.
"I'm Lou I work with Sue at the clinic"
"Ahh the chick that reads the fortunes"
"That's me" I reply copying Jake.
"You gave a good reading for my dad, it really was a good day for fishing" He beamed and gave a kick to the cooler behind him.
"Or she listened to the weather duhhh. I'm Jared" He said
"Nice to meet you guys, I've got some patties for the grill, "I said putting the box down in front of me. "They're a bit spicey"
"Pile them up!" Jared said bending down and digging into the Tupperware.
"You've got a little accent," Jake said turning to me.
"Yeah I'm from London," I said
"Oh cool so you're English"
"No, I'm British Jamaican."
"I don't get it"
"My parents immigrated from Jamacia to the UK where I was born it's very simple." I shrug
"Cool, so what are you doing here"
"Not enough sun in London" I joke. They both let out a belting laugh
Jake, Jared and I really hit it off after that and shifted the responsibility of the grill over to a Sam guy. He had also been kissed by the sun and he was much taller than the boys. He seemed nice enough, very polite and always making sure everyone had enough food and drink and we were all in a good mood. He often looked over in our direction when we let out a hearty laugh. I had noticed his aura was also hard to capture. The three of us sat in a little semi-circle having a chat. The sun had begun to sink in the sky.
"Is it even real? Dad told me he'd come to you before he makes his next football bet" Jake questioned stretching out and leaning back.
"Well its as real as you want it to be anddd as good as the football team is" I replied smiling into my cup. This received a chuckle from the two of them. It didn't really matter what I said about my readings everyone is skeptical. And being a witch was cool these days, every other hipster and spiritualist was bragging about it on their Tumblr post or Instagram feed. I never had to be particularly careful as only a select few were true believers,
"Do a reading on me"
"You?" I said raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah me," He said sitting at full attention now.
"What type of reading do you want"
"Oh Nonono you don get to ask questions and sus me out, you've got to do this blind." He said waving his finger in my face
"Blind" I laugh "okay I'll close my eye."
"This has gotta be good," Jared said looking interested
I sit in front of Jake and outstretched my hands, palms up. I close my eyes.
"Stretch out your hands, palm up please," I say I hear a shift in the air and loosely hold his wrists. My fingers twitch slightly as I try to aline our auras, which was difficult as he jumped and pranced with mine. I was the circus trainer and he was my lion. My aura thrashed and whipped to get him to obey but he didn't, he just became even more unsettled. I tried again this time with more ferocity however this only excited him even more. Christ, it wasn't usually this hard. my aura screamed for a submission and still no results. Maybe I was going about this all wrong. Finally, my aura took a different approach and out strength my energy like two open arms. This time, Jake's aura came running.
Jake wanted to be shocked and telling him about the weather wouldn't give him the reaction he wanted. So I decided to peek inside the house of his mind. Just through the window as to not intrude too much. All I wanted was a glimpse of a secret something to unnerve him. And then I saw it. A secret, not even his father knew only the six of them knew. I watched as the images began to pass over my eyes. I recognized Jared and Sam but not the three other men and one other girl. I was next taken to an image of a house and a baby. The baby was cute while looking down in the crib the images started to enter my mind faster and faster. I began to see the baby grow. Baby to a toddler and then to a child. The images began to whirl in my mind and I started to feel dizzy. I was confused I had never seen anything quite like this before. Yes, people's minds can show me timelines but I've never seen one so fast. I let go. I was only able to draw one thing from that and it was a name.
"So what did you see?" he smirked. What should I say? I don't even understand what I saw. How can a baby grow that fast? Was his mind just whirling and I went with it. Why was this child a secret? I had no clue. Had my skills decreased this much I couldn't read a simple man!
"Nessie," I said slowly. For the first time that day, I saw Jake's eyes harden and jaw set.
Hey Guys, this is my first story! I hope you enjoy it. Leave me a comment, I would love to hear what you think :)