Rafael adjusted the clip on his garter belt and glared up at Sonny, his expression dark and accusatory, "Detective, I'm an Assistant District Attorney!"
Sonny grinned broadly, "So, absolutely no one will recognize you," he maintained, "…unlike if you'd gone halfway and been more conspicuous."
The lawyer sucked in a sharp breath and Sonny's sister sighed frustratedly for the third time in as many minutes.
"Rafael, can you just sit still for one more minute? This isn't easy when you keep movin' around!" She hissed as patiently as possible.
"Damn!" Tommy laughed as he walked into the kitchen and almost directly into his brother-in-law, who was wearing a disturbingly revealing French Maid's outfit. His eyes scanned down to the detective's fishnet stockings and hovered over his heels for a second before looking up at him and smirking.
"See something you like, sweetheart?" Sonny asked - hand's on his waist while somehow managing to sound simultaneously provocative and intimidating.
Rafael huffed with reluctant amusement from his spot at their kitchen table and Tommy turned to see Bella straddling an unfamiliar man wearing fishnet stockings while…attaching a false eyelash?!
He was speechless for a few seconds then coughed as his wife stepped back and surveyed her handy work. "I don't believe we've met…" Tommy said with bemusement as he reached out to shake the stranger's hand.
Barba looked up at him and took the proffered hand with a slight smirk, waiting for the coin to drop.
"Fuck me, ADA Barba?!" Tommy gasped.
"I'd really rather not…" Rafael drawled dryly and dropped his face into his hand with exasperation at the entire situation.
"I don't understand…?" Tommy glanced around to look at Sonny for an explanation.
Sonny laughed and rolled his eyes, "Rocky Horror," he explained as though that would be obvious to any sane human being, "…it's a squad night out."
Tommy looked Rafael and Sonny up and down, "Well…" he smiled at them and shook his head in amazement, "…I'll give you both one thing, when you guys commit to something you go all in!"
Rafael groaned and tugged with irritation at his garter belt again.
"I said stop playin' with that!" Sonny snapped like he was talking to a naughty school kid.
The ADA wordlessly raised his eyebrows and shaved about 10 years off his friend's life with one glare.
"Just…" Sonny sighed and regretted getting carried away, "…don't rip 'em. We're meeting 'Manda and the Lieu in less than half an hour."
Tommy laughed now, "Now I get it - Detective Rollins!"
Rafael smirked at Sonny a little from his seat and then reached to take a sip from his whisky.
"Just drop it…" Sonny said with obvious irritation and rolled his eyes at his brother-in-law.
Tommy grinned, "So are Detective Rollins and Sargent Benson dressing up too?"
"Lieutenant…" Rafael corrected distractedly as Bella fussed with the spikes on his hair.
"Lieutenant…" Tommy repeated with a smirk and then looked between the men as Rafael stood and gingerly took a couple of steps in his heels. He looked the ADA up and down and shook his head in wonder. Black heels, black fishnets, black leather shorts, a dark maroon pinstriped waistcoat and slightly brighter maroon tie, tied impeccably and paired with a short cut-off jacket, fingerless gloves and perfectly twisted spiked hair. "I have to admit, you look amazing, counsellor," Tommy said, amused yet genuinely impressed.
Bella smiled at her husband and then stepped between them to apply some matching lip colour, quickly checking the single thick eyelash attached underneath one eye before stepping back. "He's my masterpiece!" She grinned proudly at Tommy and stepped against his side.
"Hey!" Sonny protested.
Bella waved back at him dismissively, "You look good too, but wow..." her eyes glowed as she looked Rafael up and down, "...if I weren't a happily married woman…"
Tommy looked down at his wife with amused surprise, "Women find this look…hot?!
She laughed at her husband, and the look of shock and slight uncertainty on Rafael's face, then nodded emphatically, "Oh, hell yeah!"
"I will never understand women," Tommy laughed and shrugged, wrapping an arm around Bella and kissing her head.
"You don't have to, you have me…" She teased and poked his side.
Rafael turned as subtly as possible to glance at himself in the glass oven door.
Sonny smiled, "Wondering if someone else will share my sister's evaluation?"
Rafael coughed and looked at Sonny as though he was crazy, "We need to go…I'll order a car."
The detective went to speak and Rafael held his hand up, "Whatever you were about to suggest do not…we're getting a car from right outside and being dropped at the venue. If the driver is open to bribery I might even ask them to pull into the damn lobby."
Bella laughed and then buried her face in Tommy's chest when Rafael glowered at her with frustration...and a tiny sliver of amusement.