Hurt You So Bad

            By: General Quistis ( & Zhakeena (

Disclaimer: We don't even own FF7, do you even think we own Crazytown?! Oh well… the song's by that cool band… and whether you like it or not, it doesn't belong to us, okay?!? @o@


[Now let me state it for the record I'm jaded

But when you looked at me I couldn't escape it…]

            "I want you all to come with me; there's still much more I want to know", Rufus told Tifa and some of the other AVALANCHE members present in that place; but he was really thinking, "Damn… do I really have to say that? I'm really, really tired…" he turned away, meaning to run ahead from them, but he had to look back at her. He saw her, lagging behind Cid and Red XII and being dragged by Hojo as tiny rocks started pelting them from above. The violent earth shaking prevented him from staring at her any further, though. A thing he noticed was that she was probably more jaded than he is…

And she was looking at him.

He wasn't sure if she really noticed his eyes lightening up as he returned her stare, but he knew that he had to turn away or else he might trip onto something, so he just looked away and kept on running until he just got into the Highwind. "Stupid! What's going on!?" he demanded.

Nobody really knew how to answer to his question, so he just stayed in one place that he thinks is safe for him.

He remained there watching the others as they went about their business in the Highwind, but he really could not resist looking at Tifa when she just got knocked-out.

[I really hate it when I'm out of control

But baby after the show my mind just wouldn't let go]

            Sure, he decided to just execute them, but as he was announcing to them about their execution, he just tried to look away from her…

He was thinking, "Is this just a show?"  and from the back of his mind, he was thinking, "All the world is a stage and everyone has their part… this is your part…you have to do this," but as he turned away, he sighed heavily. "But I can change things, right?"

And even as he tried to sleep last night, he still couldn't because he was thinking of her…

And he couldn't stop doing so.

[Tell me was it a hallucination (hallucination)

That made me feel so alone (so alone)]



"Tell me again what we're doing," Rufus asked, looking out the ocean facing Junon.

"Uh… beg your pardon?"

"You heard me. Tell me again what we're doing…" Rufus turned to the General with cold, almost ethereal blue eyes.

"Gyah?! Er… If you insist… We will execute AVALANCHE one by one, we will be fighting Weapon, and if all else goes well, we will go against Sephiroth and stop Meteor. Was that what you wanted to hear, sir?" Heidegger asked, scratching his head in confusion.

Rufus just ignored him. "One by one?" he asked, thinking about her again. Somehow, he was thinking that he wanted to be there when it's her turn already…

"Gyah… Scarlet insisted on killing that girl by herself, sir…" Heidegger pointed out. "I think right now, she's being executed. And knowing Scarlet, she'd use a slow and painful way to kill. Gyah…"

Rufus did not let him continue, he just snapped. "WHAT?!" and ran off… but he stopped when he was already halfway to the place where the gas chamber is located. His eyes were wide in awe as he leaned against the wall, panting hard. "Damn… why am I doing this? Why am I letting her affect me this way?" he thought silently with a nervous look on his face.

From the back of his mind,  he could hear his conscience telling him, "Maybe because somebody finally melted that brutal side of yours, huh, Rufus? I'm pretty certain too that you are very lonely and you. Like. That. Girl."

He shook his head in disbelief before walking away, deciding to just let things be.

[And even though I had never met you before

Can't get you out of my head

Now I'm pouring out my heart for you]

            He never really knew her that well…  though he still could not forget her.

Everything about her was memorable: her voice, her crimson eyes, her dark hair…


[I never meant to hurt you so bad

I'm just trying to get over you]

"Well, I hope I never hurt her before… Though, somehow, I think everyone else in ShinRa did that for me…" Rufus thought miserably to himself.

But maybe if she just died in the hands of Scarlet, he wouldn't be thinking about her anymore, right? Why? Coz she'd be dead!

But no, that wouldn't be right… he knows that that wouldn't be right… knowing that she's dead…

[I hope you never meant to hurt me so bad

Don't you feel the same way too?]

            But she's from AVALANCHE…

Meaning, that group's anti-ShinRa.

A.k.a., anti-Rufus too…

"Nice job on thinking those thoughts, Rufus… trying to convince yourself to rescue some girl you don't even know when she herself probably wants you on your deathbed, too…" he mumbled to himself. 

[I never meant to hurt you so bad

I never meant to hurt you]

            "…but I never really meant to do any harm… I'm just doing this for… for ShinRa…" he thought, but his conscience continued for him, "…because you are afraid to lose,"

[So now I sit and think of what I could say when

You look at me to re-ignite the connection

I'm gonna take you to a place beyond time

Somewhere that we've never been

Someplace that I couldn't find]

            Tifa's POV

Scarlet pushed her on the chair, and instantly, a guard strapped her hands on the armrests and tied her feet together.

"Kyah… I hope you enjoy your slow, painful death. Hah! Stuck up ^%$&…" Scarlet sneered.

As Scarlet and the guard left the gas chamber room, Tifa struggled to loosen the ropes. "This is going to get me nowhere,"

She leaned back and sighed heavily. "Better just accept this fate, I guess… better relax myself…" she looked up at the ceiling. "Now… how do I relax? Think happy thoughts… think happy thoughts…"

Think happy thoughts…

Thoughts led to blue eyes…

Those blue eyes that belonged to someone…

Someone who isn't Cloud…

But her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Scarlet yapping outside, "Kyah! I can't understand President Rufus! He's such a dweeb!"

"Gyah… and he just ran off like some nut…" Heidegger replied to Scarlet through her cellphone.

"Hmf… to tell you the truth, I strongly believe that Rufus is just some weak guy pretending to be strong! I still can't stand the fact that that brat is our boss!!!"

And blah blah blah blah blah…

Tifa suddenly felt her heart sinking upon hearing that… and remembering the way he looked at her…

And suddenly she just had this crazy idea, imagining herself talking to Rufus and holding his hand, "Why don't you come with us? You'll be safer with us than in this dreadful place of yours, I promise,"


"Tifa!!! Are you in there?!?!" Barret's voice came from the door.

"Barret!" Tifa screamed back, suddenly shrugging off her thoughts.

[Tell me if you're feeling my addiction (my addiction)

Without you I just can't disguise (can't disguise)

How much I need to see you face one more time

Can't get you out of my head

Now I'm pouring out my heart for you]

            --"Why do I want to see him again?…"

Rufus shook his head, trying to snap himself back to reality. "Why do I want to see her again?!" he thought angrily to himself. It was almost like an addiction… an addiction that began from nowhere… an addiction that he can't cure. At least, not now that everything seemed so critical.

"Maybe that's it, maybe all this pressure is driving me crazy," Rufus thought to himself. "Nice excuse, Prez…" his conscience taunted once more.

"GYAH! Mister President!" Heidegger ran from behind him. By the time he reached Rufus, he was panting already. "What are you doing here? (puff, puff) We should be alert at times like these, sir! Don't you remember?!" Heidegger said in a reprimanding tone.

Rufus raised an eyebrow. He blinked at him before saying, "If I remember correctly, Heidegger, you are not in the right place to tell me what to do… And not your place to question me, either." In a snobbish tone, too.

Heidegger eyes grew wide, at the same time his jaw dropped. Then he inhaled a sharp breath and said, "Yessir, sorry sir… but that still doesn't change the fact that some of the SOLDIERs are in there, awaiting your orders… Gyah…"

Rufus looked at him in annoyance, flipped his hair and said, "Very well, get your fat arse back there, Heidegger…"

[I never meant to hurt you so bad

I'm just trying to get over you

I hope you never meant to hurt me so bad

Don't you feel the same way too?

I never meant to hurt you so bad

I never meant to hurt you]

"Are you saying that we're supposed to do something bad to Rufus?" Tifa wanted to say out loud to Barret as she continued to rub her cheek gently because of the slapping contest with Scarlet moments ago. "Damn, what made me think of that… who knows… he deserves it…" she frowned slightly.

"Yeah, I hope we have some time fo' dat foo'… but our first concern would be Cloud… Have ta find that jerk first before we do anythin' else," Barret explained.

He paused when he noticed Tifa frown slightly, again. "Teef?"

"Cloud… when did I last think of him? Well, this is something new… I can forget all about Cloud as long as I think of Rufus… Is something wrong with me?" Tifa thought to herself.

"You've got a crush on that mean guy, Tifa." Her conscience mocked.

She had to slap herself to make her conscience stop bothering her. Barret stared curiously at her. "Why did you slap yourself? Still got that hangover from the slappin' thing 'while ago?" he asked.

She shook her head in annoyance. "NO!" she exclaimed.


She just sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just…confused…" she mumbled as she looked at her hands. She had this sad look on her face as she reflected on what her conscience had mentioned to her… "But… if I do have a crush on him… or worse, if I had fallen in-love with him by just looking at him and having that little interaction with him… does he feel the same way?"

But she shrugged her thoughts off. "Ugh, never mind… from now on, it's mind over heart… unless he turns out to be a Cloud Strife too… I followed my heart when it came to Cloud, so I ended up like this…" she stopped her silent thoughts when she noticed Barret staring at her with a frustrated frown on his face. "…and what the hell is he doing just staring at me?! It's beginning to make me feel so uncomfortable… though if it's Rufus staring at me, I think I won't mind… heehee…" she stiffened upon those thoughts and she clenched her fists angrily at herself. "DAMN!" she thought angrily.

Barret looked at Tifa with some bits of disgust on his face. "Look at what happened to this tough girl… She's goin' insane, and it's all Cloud's fault! And wit' all this pressure wit' the ShinRa and Sephiroth… it'll get worse… She'll probably never find love again…" he thought to himself sadly. He walked away, mumbling a "I'll leave ya 'lone now, Teef, awright?"

Tifa looked at Barret as he walked away. "Oh, man, now I got him thinking I'm insane! Well, I probably am… I'm arguing with myself about this… Rufus thing, and probably am winning against myself…" she thought. She turned her gaze towards where they were, the little speck on the horizon which is Junon. "Did you really mean to hurt me so bad? Do you feel the same way, too?"

[I never meant to hurt you so bad

I'm just trying to get over you]

The stars are mocking him again. He looked outside and crossed his arms across his chest, staring at the stars.

"You're gonna die," they seem to be telling him…

His frown deepened. "Die?" he wanted to ask them aloud, but he did not want to sound pathetic… like he is afraid to die.

He began to recall the significant events that had happened for the past few days. "Maybe it'll lessen this weird feeling…" he thought silently.

He slightly smiled when the thought about that girl came across his mind. "How come I'm glad that she had managed to escape?" he thought silently. He looked up at the stars and flipped his hair, sighing heavily, remembering that he had somehow intended to execute her together with the others… He stared at the stars sadly. "I never meant to hurt you…" he whispered softly…

[I hope you never meant to hurt me so bad

Don't you feel the same way too?]

Tifa looked up at the stars. Was it just the wind that blew against her face in the highwind?

… "Or did I just hear his voice?" she thought silently, turning her gaze to the tall ShinRa Tower.

[I never meant to hurt you so bad

I never meant to hurt you]

All eyes turned to the direction where they all heard the loud explosion.

"NOOOOO!" Tifa almost screamed, but she covered her mouth… though her eyes reflected too much shock.

The rest of the party looked at the ShinRa Building in shock.

Cait Sith mouthed out Reeve's voice. "Oh. My. God…"

She tried to stop herself from crying, but she couldn't… somehow… so she just bowed down her head to at least shed a few tears from her crimson eyes but quickly wiped them away as soon as possible before anyone could see them.

Cloud wondered what she was doing.

She saw him looking at her and she realized that for the first time, she didn't care whether he was looking at her or not…

She just kept quiet, keeping her eyes on the building.

[I never meant to hurt you]



What?!? That's it?!?!? @o@ Oh well…

Gyah… We found ourselves being plagued with Last sound/song syndrome after writing this… meaning, that the song Hurt You So Bad got stuck in our heads… -.-'