This is an Overlord X Konosuba fanfic. This is mainly a comedy fic of what would happen if Ainz joined Kazuma's party. Please sit back and laugh.
"Titus, may you browse for the titles 'Player guide for close-ranged combat'?"
A majestic skeleton requested with its palm out towards the intended person it was speaking to.
The Librarian, Titus, despite being an undead slowly flinched and earnestly responded,
"Of course, Ainz-sama, I shall search for it immediately."
Titus then hurriedly paced towards the bookshelves away from the purple-robed skeleton.
The purple-robed skeleton in question was Ainz Ooal Gown, the ruler of the 41 Supreme Beings and guild master of the guild of Ainz Ooal Gown. Ainz sat in an isolated spot in the library of Ashurbanipal currently reading books about various topics.
The bony fingers laid on the paper as he flickered through each page slowly but elegantly, it looked as if he was being careful not to rip off any pages, and despite being an undead who did not need any light there was a lamp beside Ainz's book as he read.
Titus offered it to Ainz out of respect.
Ainz tried to deny the offer but he stubbornly insisted.
Uwah uwah uwah! What do I do? What do I do?! I can't go back to meet Albedo. I can't even face Demiurge.
Ainz's kingly behaviour did not match his mental state as he screamed inside his head. It was yesterday when the Emperor of the Empire, Jircniv offered vassilisation to Ainz.
It was too sudden. Moreover, he got Albedo and Demiurge to deal with the papers, he didn't want to face them. Hence why he kept himself locked up in the library after saying, 'Do not disturb me as I read'.
Because of that statement, there was not a soul besides Ainz and Titus in the library, even Mare, who was a regular here did not visit for his occasional reading.
The words of the Supreme one bore great power.
Ainz flipped through a few pages and continued to read still pondering in his mind what he should do.
After searching for the desired book, Titus returned.
"Ainz-sama, here is the book related to your requested title," Titus said as he used both hands to hand the book over to Ainz.
"Thank you very much." Ainz thanked,
"Your humble servant does not deserve such praise."
"...Mm... Then, anyway."
Ainz looked at the book title, 'Guide for close-ranged combat' and opened the first page. But he saw something, something off.
There was a red gem indented inside the book.
Titus sensed his master's confusion and asked,
"Is there something wrong Ainz-sama?"
Ainz looked at Titus and pointed towards the gem.
"What is this? I do not recall this being here,"
Titus raised his brow, the part of the skull where there was dead skin, and leaned over to look. And with a dejected tone, he responded,
"Forgive this useless one, this one does not know what it is either."
The gem was indented in the middle of the page and was shining brightly, it looked to be part of a magical item and emitted it too. Ainz got curious and laid his finger on it.
"Is that so? That is unfor-"
But before he could continue speaking he felt his body distorting.
"Ainz-sama! Your body!" Titus saw this and shouted on the top of his dead lungs leaping a few steps towards Ainz.
Ainz looked at his hands which were slowly disappearing into thin air in confusion.
Huh? What is this?
"Do not worry Ainz-sama! I shall contact Albedo-sam-" Ainz's hearing was cut off, along with his sight.
What is happening? I can't see anything, is this some sort of side effect from touching that gem?
Ainz lost himself in self-satisfying thought, unconsciously he put his bony hands on his chin.
Teleporting gem? Did we have something like that? Wait, teleport? If that's the case then-
Ainz looked up, he realised that this wasn't the library of Ashurbanipal anymore, rather, he was in a damp empty alleyway.
Oh? What an interesting item, hm... Is this the Kingdom? Empire?
Ainz heard something and looked out, where there was a commotion. But before he could inspect he cast,
At this point, Ainz thought he was somewhere in the Kingdom or the Empire,
It won't kill to rest here for a little while before returning to Nazarick.
With [Perfect Unknowable] casted Ainz walked out of the alleyway to see what was the problem.
"Muhahaha! Is that all you got?! Goddess of the grand toilets?! If you cannot catch Moi then does that not prove the distance between our powers? Muhahaa!"
It was a masked man wearing a dark blue tinted suit, he was jumping all around the place holding what seemed to be a spray can.
Ainz then looked at what was in front of him and saw.
Was there such a religion? The religions Ainz knew were the ones of the Four Great Gods and Six Great Gods and none of them referred to their churches as the Axis church.
Ainz shrugged and kept watching.
"What did you say?! You defective devil?! [Turn undead]!"
Ainz got slightly intrigued by that spell and looked at the spellcaster.
A young woman? Blue-haired... She is a priest? Impressive, she is able to cast priest-like spells of her age? She must be a prodigy.
Of course from Ainz's view, Aqua was weak, but the fact that someone aged as her was able to cast spells a priest would cast was significant in the New World.
"Muhahaha! Foolish toilet cleaning goddess indeed! Did you really think a mere [Turn Undead] spell could hurt Moi?! The duke of hell?! Foolish goddess!"
Ignoring the claim of him being a duke of hell Ainz looked at the Axis church, all over were spray paintings of erotic women and phrases like, 'Your goddess is a toilet goddess' and the like.
Ainz understood why the blue-haired woman, who seemed to be a priest was angry.
Well, after seeing that it was time to teleport back to Nazarick and discuss matters regarding the sudden teleportation, Ainz also made a note to study this 'Axis Church' too.
"[Greater Teleportation]!" Ainz shouted.
Assuming Ainz did something wrong in the chanting he shouted again.
Huh? What happened? Why isn't it working? Did someone cast [Dimensional Lock]? No, I don't sense that.
It was then the moment of realisation dawned on Ainz.
Did I get transported again?
Staying in his [Perfect Unknowable] spell Ainz frantically looked around, it was true, the buildings and technology level were slightly different than the New world's. The people seemed different too, there were too many adventurers.
Wait, if there are adventurers...
Ainz began to walk around the town until he reached the inside of the gates, there was a sign saying, 'Welcome to the town of Axel'.
In a last ditch attempt in making contact with Nazarick Ainz cast,
As expected, there was no one on the other side of [Message], just pure silence.
Ainz took fake deep breathes, mimicking human action in the hopes of calming himself down, and that's when the emotional suppressor kicked in.
"Ahh..." Ainz sighed, the emotions of confusion Ainz felt a few seconds before disappeared.
Using that chance Ainz teleported out, to a more isolated area.
He teleported into another damp alleyway, this time looking out there was no one, this was the ghost part of town, the part where no one wanted to go. Most likely due to barely any shops.
Using his isolation to his advantage he immediately cast summoning magic.
Two Hanzos appear in front of Ainz, already prostrated.
"We hear and obey, O summoner."
Ainz looked at the summoned minions and commanded.
"Search the area. Do not leave the town of Axel, gather as much useful information you can about this world as soon as possible. When you are done find me."
"It shall be granted, O summoner."
With that said Ainz waved his hand, the Hanzos disappeared without a trace.
My name is Satou Kazuma.
Recently, I recreated items from my home country, Japan and sold the intellectual rights to a scheming devil, Vanir.
I earned a fortune, my goal was finally accomplished, to become a Hiki-NEET, stray around in the mansion and laze around until I die.
I'll leave the objective of taking down the Devil King to those cheat-users from Japan. You see them in the capital all the time.
"Come on Kazuma! Kazuma! I found a quest, fighting surface goblins! Let's go, come on, come on!"
The person who nagged Kazuma was the self-proclaimed goddess.
She had a fight with Vanir just a moment ago and returned, I told her to get something for us to eat, and what did she come back with? Complaints, complaints about Vanir.
But that wasn't the worst thing.
"Shut up! Just shut up! Whose fault do you think it is that we have to do quests?! Huh?! Why must you create problems for me every. Single. Time?! How did you get access to my money anyway?! And why would use it to donate to the Axis church in the Capital?! I already put in orders to buy first-class food! What will I say when they arrive huh?!"
"B-But! Aqua tried to respond with tears in her eyes.
But the ferocious man kept screaming.
"The first-class food I bought is the type that expires early! Do you know what that means you stupid self-proclaimed goddess?! Once they arrive at the mansion it won't be long for it to expire even if I return it!"
"I'm no-!" Aqua again tried to respond, this time on her knees pleading with Kazuma.
"' I'm not a self-proclaimed goddess' my ass! Let it sink into your head! We are in debt! Do you understand?! In debt! The negative numbers that accumulated are just as equal to your intelligence!"
Aqua on the ground looking straight at Kazuma rubbed her teary eyes as she continued to sniff and cry like a child.
"...Kazuma... I want to play, let me join into your play..." Darkness said with a red face as she heavily puffed out air from her mouth.
Darkness hugged herself as she began to erotically shout,
"No! Kazuma! Don't look at me with such a cold glare! You can have my body but you can't have my heart!"
"Shut up! What are you saying! Don't scream here! Oh no, the girls around us are looking at me like I'm trash. No! It's not what you think ladies!"
"Kazuma, you shouldn't treat Aqua like that, look at her, she is crying on the floor pleading for your forgiveness, at least pity her." Megumin calmly defended Aqua as she put a piece of meat into her mouth, "Rather, she's doing you a favour, now you won't be able to laze around in the mansion and you will be forced to do quests from now on. I'll subtract NEET from your name now."
Despite her maturity, Megumin was wearing her eyepatch like a chuunibyou.
Kazuma took a deep breath before taking a paper from his pocket and slamming it on the wooden table.
Darkness curiously looked at Kazuma,
"Hm? What's that?"
Aqua, who just recovered from Kazuma's lecture slowly walked in between Megumin and Darkness and silently took a seat.
"It is what it looks like. I am recruiting one new member to the party."
The paper Kazuma put out wrote, 'Looking for new members, we need a crusader who can hit her targets, a priest with reasonable luck or an Arch-mage who doesn't fall over after one spell, it is fine if you are another class, we urge anyone to join our Party. - Satou Kazuma'
"Kazuma... is this directed at newcomers or at us..?" Megumin asked.
"Waaah! You Lolicon NEET what do you mean a priest with reasonable luck!" Aqua sitting on the other side grabbed Kazuma's shoulders and shook him violently with tears in her eyes.
"Let go of me you stupid self-proclaimed priest."
"You just called me a self-proclaimed priest! At least call me a self-proclaimed goddess! Waaah!"
"Such subtle insults..." Darkness rubbed her thighs together as she mildly moaned.
"Don't get turned on Lalatina! Don't make me force you to wear that same maid outfit to the adventurers guild.
"...I'll take it as a reward."
"Guarrgghh! A masochistic crusader, useless self-proclaimed church-altar-assistant and a delusional Crimson beggar. Do you even think about how I feel? Do you know how much I've suffered because of you? Apologize! Apologize right now! Apologize for creating problems in my fantasy life!"
"Kazuma! Waaah! You just called me a self-proclaimed church-altar-assistant why are you going down the ranks! I'm a goddess! Goddess!"
"Hey, I can't just ignore what you called me. Delusional Crimson beggar? Do you want to get a taste of my explosion?"
After expressing his feelings and showered by complaints Kazuma plugged his ears with his fingers as he walked towards the bulletin board to post the job offer he made.
That should do it.
Kazuma and company waited for a few hours, there were a bunch of posters on the board when Kazuma pinned his poster, but after a while...
Why are all the posters gone except for mine?
No one wanted to join a party with three useless women, granted, they were beauties but any veteran adventurer knew how dysfunctional the party was. So no one wanted to join.
"Say, Kazuma, your scheme in getting another member was useless, let's just go home already," Aqua said as she banged her fists on the table, her entire upper body was pressed on the wooden table along with her chin.
She was getting extremely bored.
"Yeah Kazuma, let's go back to the mansion, we'll start to do quests tomorrow, it's almost getting dark." Darkness said as she tapped on Aqua's shoulder to get up.
Before Kazuma was to give in and go home he heard metallic footsteps walking into the guild, this caught the attention of the rest of the adventurers inside the guild.
The man wore jet-black armour and had two greatswords and had a helmet that did not allow anyone to leer inside.
The receptionist lady straight her back and gulped as she greeted him.
"Kazuma, Kazuma, who's that?" Aqua nagged.
"That is what I've meant to ask, do you know that cheat-user?"
Aqua put her hand on her chin and replied,
"I don't remember."
"Why are you degrading my role every time!"
"What did you expect?"
"No no! Kazuma, even someone as intelligent as me can't forget something like that!" Aqua pointed at the jet-plated armoured man who was speaking to the receptionist lady.
"What do you mean? I thought after I pulled you into this world that there would be no more cheat-users from Japan, what's happening here?"
But before Aqua could respond Megumin interrupts,
"What are you two whispering about? Is there something you need to tell us?"
The attention is directed back at the receptionist lady as she squeals.
"Is something wrong Receptionist-dono?" The full-plated man asked in a kind tone.
"No... It's nothing, it's just, I thought I felt your adventurers card move a bit... - Nevermind." The receptionist lady then glanced at the stats and exclaimed.
"Momon-dono! You are lacking in magical stats but your physical power far exceeds the limit! And your luck is extraordinary, with this you can become any physical related job you want!"
"Uhm, my apologies but... I would like to stay as an adventurer."
The guild lady gave a bewildered look. And frantically responded,
"Are you sure Momon-dono? With these stats... you are able to become a swordmaster! I urge you to reconsider."
"No no, it's fine. More importantly please, be quiet." Momon said as he leaned in closer to the guild lady, who then nodded.
But it was too late, they had already caught the attention of the entire guild.
"I'm buying drinks for the new hero!"
The crowd erupted into cheers and clapping, they intended to throw a party for Momon who stood there emotionlessly, staring at the man who created the mood.
Thank you Momon-san, I'll be able to get free drinks because of you.
After the party had ended Kazuma and his party sat in the same seats drunk, of course, Megumin did not drink, rather, Darkness kept her from doing so.
"Why can't you let me drink?! I'm at a suitable age! Let me go!" Megumin shouted at Darkness who was holding her back.
"Aqua! Quick! Drink it all!"
"You got it!"
Aqua then grabbed two mugs of alcohol and chugged it all in.
As the three women were fighting, as usual, Kazuma felt something metallic tap his shoulder.
"Excuse me, are you Kazuma-dono?"
"Yes, this is Kazuma."
"I have seen your poster for recruiting allies.'
Megumin who was pulling on Aqua's hair stopped to look at Momon, Darkness and Aqua looked at him too.
"My name is Momon, and I would like to join your adventuring party."