Author's note: This chapter is inspired by Fate/Cafe Avalon Episode 33.
Beta read by RedRat8
Proto Merlin let out a small sigh as she looked at a magazine she was reading. "Hm…nothing seems to be happening here in Chaldea right now…" she thought to herself as she flipped over a page. "There are no singularities for master to solve now, there are no external threats to Chaldea right now…wow, I am so bored. In fact, I'm so bored right now that I might as well return to Avalon…nah, that place is probably more boring than what is happening right now."
Soon, Proto Merlin lost interest in the magazine and laid down on the bed in her room lazily. For a moment, all she could do was to just look at the ceiling and that was it. "Jeez, I've never felt this bored in a long time…well, there's no point in just laying down on my bed being bored. I might as well get out for a while."
Proto Merlin then left her room and took a small walk around Chaldea's hallways, hoping to see something interesting. However, despite her efforts, she was not able to find anything interesting. Eventually, she gave up and soon sat down on a sofa in one of Chaldea's break rooms. "Wow, even after all of that walking, I still can not find anything interesting…"
At that moment, someone came into the break room, and that person could be the only one who understands her.
Her male counterpart, Merlin.
"Hello there, me," Merlin said with a smile on his face.
"Hello there, me."
Soon, Merlin sat down next to his female counterpart. "So, judging by the look on your face, I take it that you're bored?"
Proto Merlin let out a sigh. "Obviously. Nothing interesting seems to happen here right now. Everything in Chaldea is too peaceful in my tastes."
"You can say that again. Nothing interesting has been happening lately. Even the singularities master usually go to are just the usual ones as well," Merlin replied.
"Exactly."
For a moment, the two were silent until Merlin said something random.
"You know what? I just realized something."
"Hm? What is it?"
"Our voices…don't they sound exactly like our worlds' King of Knights?"
For a moment, Proto Merlin gave Merlin's words some thought and realized that he was right. "You're right! My voice sounds like your world's King of Knights, and your voice sounds like my world's King of Knights!"
"Exactly! Not only that, but some of the other servants in Chaldea seem to have the same voices along with each other! I'm not sure if it's a coincidence or not, but it feels like everyone in Chaldea is connected by voice actors!"
Proto Merlin let out a chuckle. "Jeez, now that I think about it, it's a wonder how master managed to not mix up servants who have the same voice as each other…"
"Yeah. Not to mention that…wait, servants who have the same voice as other servants…"
For a moment, Merlin and Proto Merlin did not say anything.
"Hey, are you thinking what I am thinking?" Merlin asked with a smirk on his face.
Proto Merlin let out a smirk as well. "Yes, and you know what that means…"
At that moment, both of their smirks grew even wider upon realizing that they have the same idea in their heads.
And thus, they have begun what could be their craziest prank of all of their pranks…
Proto Cu was walking down the hallway, minding his own business while holding his spear behind him. "Man, a day with shishou is really tiring and scary. I know I should be used to it by now, but she is still scary when it comes to training, especially after what happened when she received that gundam mystic code…" He then shivered upon hearing the last three words. "No, do not think about her in that mystic code of hers…it's a nightmare to see her flying…"
"Hey! Cu!" a familiar voice said.
Upon hearing the familiar voice, Cu turned around to see Arthur, who was running up towards him. "Oh, hey there Arthur. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing fine. Anyways, can you follow me for a moment?"
"Why? Is there something you want to show me?"
To Proto Cu's surprise, Arthur let out a smirk. "Oh. Just wait…and you will see soon."
For a moment, Proto Cu felt a slight sense of fear inside of him, but quickly brushed it off. 'Okay then, let's go."
Soon, Arthur began to walk with Proto Cu following him. As they were walking, Proto Cu could not help but notice something about Arthur. "Okay, I have never seen Arthur like this earlier…something is not right about this, but what?"
"Is there something wrong Cu?" Arthur asked, snapping Proto Cu out of his thoughts.
"Hm? Ah, it's nothing."
"I see. Anyways, we're here," Arthur said as he stopped.
Proto Cu then stopped to see what was in front of them, which was a large door. "So, what's behind this door? Is there something I should be warned about?"
"Well…find out and you will see."
To Proto Cu's surprise, Arthur suddenly pushed him towards the door, which opened by itself as he went in, revealing a room with the lights off. Before Proto Cu could react, the door quickly closed behind him and in an instant, the lights went on.
And to Proto Cu's horror, in front of him was Melb, who was sitting on a bed while holding a whip.
"Hello…Cu~" she said while licking her lips.
"What the hell Arthur?! Why did you put me in the same room as this woman?!" Proto Cu yelled in fear.
"Sorry Cu, but she asked me to do this!" Arthur replied. "Anyways, good luck in there! See you later!"
"Wait! Arthur, you-!" Proto Cu yelled, but was cut off when he felt Melb's whip around him.
"Now then, Cu. Let us begin our love-making~!" she said before she pulled Proto Cu to where she was with great force.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Proto Cu yelled as he was being condemned to his fate.
Shirou was walking down one of Chaldea's hallways, minding his own business. "Man, cooking lunch for Arturia and her counterparts is quite the battle. Even though I've already done this so many times, it's a wonder that it still manages to exhaust me…"
"Oh Shirou!"
Shirou nearly stopped for a moment upon hearing Arturia's voice. "And speaking of which, there she is…" he thought before turning around to see Arturia, who was walking towards him with a smile on her face. "What is it, Arturia?"
"Shirou, I'm hungry."
Shirou let out a small sigh. "You're still hungry? Even after all of those meals you ate?"
Arturia let out a small pout. "Yes! Now hurry up! My stomach is growling here!" she said before she tugged onto Shirou's arm and started pulling him towards the cafeteria. As she did, Shirou had a few thoughts about this development.
"Okay, something seems off about Arturia today, but what? For some reason, it feels like her…and yet not like her at the same time…"
"Shirou, is there something wrong?" Arturia asked.
"Hm? Oh, it's nothing," Shirou replied. "I hope I'm imagining things…"
Little did Shirou know that this was not Arturia…but Proto Merlin disguised as Arturia. And like before, Merlin was disguising himself as Arthur.
Soon, Proto Merlin, who was disguised as Arturia, arrived at her location along with Shirou in tow. As they arrived, Shirou went into the kitchen while Proto Merlin sat on a stool.
"So, what do you want?" Shirou asked.
"Let's see…hm…well then, how about anything on today's menu?" Proto Merlin replied.
"As you wish." Shirou then headed towards the fridge to see what ingredients he could use to make a meal for Proto Merlin. To his luck, he could not find many ingredients in the fridge. "There's only this much left huh…then again, I just made lunch for Arturia and her counterparts earlier, so it's expected. So far, what's in the fridge are some fruit, milk, cream, and pastry dough…I can work with this."
Meanwhile, Proto Merlin was waiting with anticipation of what Shirou was about to make.
"Fufufufu, my plan worked greatly! Now that I am disguised as Arturia, I can experience the joys she has ever had with Shirou! I must say, since our voices are identical, disguising as her is really easy and no one will be able to notice, well aside from Arturia herself. I hope things go well with my counterpart…anyways, this is going to be the best plan ever! From what I heard, the meals he makes are really good! Maybe his cooking could surpass Arthur's! Let's see how good it is!"
After minutes of cooking, Shirou was done with his creation and presented it to Proto Merlin.
"Here Arturia, a fruit tart topped with powdered sugar."
Proto Merlin, who was disguised as Arturia, looked at the fruit tart with interest in her eyes. The fruit tart itself was simple, but looked beautiful. The top of the tart was covered with slices of strawberries, kiwis, and peaches. They were cut cleanly and were spread out in a design that looked like a flower.
"Wow, so this is what Shirou's cooking looks like…as expected from the rumors, it looks beautiful. I wonder, how does it taste…" Proto Merlin then grabbed the nearby fork and knife and began to cut up a slice for herself. She then took a bite of the slice of the tart and when she did, her mouth was assaulted with flavors that she had never experienced in her life.
And she was enjoying every bit of it.
"T-This taste…it's so delicious! The sweetness of the fruits and the cream go well with each other! And the pastry's crunch and texture gives a good contrast to the softness of the fruit!" she thought happily as she was chewing through the fruit, cream, and pastry. Eventually, she finished the tart. "Shirou, that was amazing!"
Shirou let out a smile. "I'm glad that you like it, Arturia."
It was then Proto Merlin held out her plate. "I want more, please."
"Alright."
"God damn it Arthur…why the hell did you put me in the same room as that woman. I swear, when I get my hands on you, I'm going to kick your ass!" Proto Cu thought angrily as he was resting in one of Chaldea's recreation rooms. As he was resting, it was then he spotted two certain people.
Ritsuka and Arthur.
Upon seeing them, Proto Cu bolted out of the sofa he was sitting on with incredible speed. "ARTHHHHHUUUUURRRRR! YOU BASTAAARRRDDD!" he yelled.
"C-Cu?!" Ritsuka and Arthur said in unison.
At that moment, Proto Cu brought out Gae Bolg and proceeded to attack Arthur with it, which Arthur guarded with Excalibur.
"Cu! What is the meaning of this?!" Arthur asked.
"Oh don't play dumb with me! You know what you did! You trapped me in that room with Melb!"
Arthur was shocked upon hearing Proto Cu's words. "Huh?!"
"Yeah, you heard me! You trapped me in that room with Melb! And locked me in there as well!"
"What?! What do you mean by that?!" Ritsuka asked. "Explain!"
Proto Cu grumbled again. "Master, you won't believe what happened to me! A moment ago, Arthur dragged me to a room where Melb was and locked me in there! Afterwards, I had to deal with Melb trying to make love to me without my consent afterwards, and it was like hell! She kept going after me without any mercy! It was a miracle that I managed to escape from her!"
Ritsuka was shocked to hear Proto Cu's words. "A-Are you serious?"
"Yes! In fact, I even have the bite marks from that woman! Look!" Proto Cu replied as he showed the bite marks on his arms.
"Wow. That's a lot of bite marks, maybe the most I have ever seen on a person…" he thought to himself as he looked at Proto Cu's arms. "However, why would Arthur do this? It's not like him to do something like this…" He then turned to Proto Cu. "Are you sure if that was Arthur?"
"Yes! I was pretty sure that was him! Otherwise, I would not tell you this!" Proto Cu replied in annoyance. "Hey Arthur! You have some nerve showing your face to me after what you did to me!"
Arthur was shocked upon hearing Proto Cu's words. "I did that?! That's impossible! I was with master the whole time!"
"Really?!"
"Yes! Ask master if you don't believe me!"
Proto Cu then turned to Ritsuka. "Is this true master?" he asked.
"Y-Yes."
For a moment, they were standing still after hearing Arthur's words. After a few seconds, Proto Cu lowered his weapon. "Well, if you say so master…then I guess I'll believe your words."
"Alright. Now then…how are we going to clear this up? You said that Arthur pushed you into a room with Melb earlier, but he was with me this whole time," Ritsuka said.
For a moment, the three men were thinking about what was going on. This lasted for a few minutes until someone joined in the conversation.
That someone was Arturia Pendragon.
"Master, have you seen Shirou?" she asked.
"Eh? I haven't. Why?" Ritsuka asked.
Arturia was silent for a moment before she gulped. "Well, something odd has been happening lately! People have been asking me how I have been in two places in one! And in case you were wondering, I asked my counterparts about this, and they're surprised and confused as well! Not only that, but I also received some complaints about me pulling pranks on others!"
All three men were shocked at Arturia's words. "Really?! You too?!" they said in unison.
"Eh?! You too?! What do you mean?!" Arturia asked.
Arthur let out a sigh. "Apparently, Cu here thinks I was the one that dumped him into a room with Melb, but I was with master the whole time!"
"You have got to be kidding me!" Arturia said.
"What the hell?! First was Arthur, now it's your female counterpart?! Just what is going on here with you two?!" Proto Cu yelled.
"That's what I want to know…" Arturia and Arthur said with a collective sigh.
For a moment, the four were wondering what was going on. However, it was then Arthur thought of a question.
"Hey…this just came into my head. Has anyone here seen Merlin? And the other Merlin?"
Everyone was silent upon hearing Arthur's question. After a few seconds, Ritsuka gave his answer.
"No."
At that moment, they now knew who was behind all of this…and immediately set off to find them.
"Yes Shirou! That's the spot!" Proto Merlin moaned with joy. "More! Give me more!"
Shirou let out a small sigh. "As you wish."
Right now, Shirou and Proto Merlin were in Arturia's room…and Shirou is currently giving Proto Merlin a back massage. As Shirou was moving his arms on Proto Merlin's back, Proto Merlin was letting out a giggle over how well her prank was going well.
"Fufufufufu, I can't believe my prank is going well! Shirou's food was great, and now I'm receiving his massages! And by the root, it feels so good! This is possibly the best day ever! Nothing could possibly ruin it!"
However, to Proto Merlin's shock, surprise, and despair, the door suddenly opened…and revealed a angry Arturia.
Upon seeing her at the front door, Shirou was immediately confused as to how this was happening. "A-Arturia?"
In a swift moment, Arturia went over to where Shirou was, grabbed his hands, brought him out of her room, and closed the door behind her. Afterwards, she then turned to Proto Merlin.
"Merlin…how dare you deceive Shirou with my appearance…and do various acts under my name..." she said angrily as she brought out Excalibur.
"W-Wait! I-I can see why you can be so mad about this, but it's just a prank! It's not like I harmed him or anything! All I ever did was eat some of his tarts and asked for a massage!"
However, Proto Merlin's words did not come to Arturia's ears.
"I don't care…because you have committed the greatest sin of all…"
Arturia raised Excalibur in the air.
"WHICH IS TO USE MY APPEARANCE TO EAT SHIROU'S TARTS!"
And she swung it down on her.
(Meanwhile with Merlin…)
Merlin felt a shock as he knew something went wrong. "This presence…I have a bad feeling about this…what happened to my female counterpart?"
At that moment, an angry Arthur, Ritsuka, and Proto Cu found him in one of Chaldea's recreational rooms.
And among them was Fou, who looked angry.
"Uh oh, looks like they found out…"
"There he is, that damn wizard!" Proto Cu yelled in anger.
"Fou! Get him!" Ritsuka yelled.
"Merlin must die, fou!"
In an instant, Fou jumped towards Merlin and attacked him, resulting in a tussle between the two as they were rolling all over the ground.
Arthur let out a sigh at the sight of the fight between the two. "Well, at least all of this is over, master."
"I hope so," Ritsuka said.
Omake
Proto Merlin let out a groan as she was tending to her wounds. "Jeez, I've heard that my counterpart's King of Knights is possessive of Shirou, but I did not know she was that possessive! I mean, an Excalibur blast on me just for disguising as her? That's a bit too much! At least that is over..."
However, it was then she felt something dreaded coming towards her.
And before she could react, she was kicked in the face, knocking her down.
"T-This kick is...!" she thought before passing out.
"Merlin must die, fou!"