Title: Descending Ascendeds

Authors: PSC and Melpomene

Emails: pschristmas@wireweb.net, melpomene@writing.com

Rating: PG13 for language

Genre: comedic crossover

Summary: "Personally, I think this whole ascension thing is a bit overrated." Jack O'Neill, "Full Circle"

Warnings: Great liberties taken with seasons for all three universes

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, duh. No monies were made from the following, if we made money from it, we wouldn't a) be posting it on the 'net, b) be working in the manufacturing industry, or c) be scrambling to pay the bills.

All characters are owned by those lucky few who hold their copyrights, i.e. not us.

The following ficlet takes place in the SG1 episode "Full Circle", the fifth Charmed season, and Angel: the Series, episode "Deep Down."

Descending Ascendeds

or

What I did on my Summer Vacation.

or

Down the Up Staircase

or

Chaos Ascending

~~~

*Leo! Orb your whitelighter ass down here, pronto!*

They flinched and Leo looked apologetically toward both Cordelia and Daniel.

"Does that happen… often?" Daniel asked.

Leo shrugged. "She's… pregnant. It's the hormones, mostly."

Daniel muttered, "I missed that part of the pregnancy."

Cordelia pinned him with a look. "I didn't. You better…"

*Leo! If you don't…*

"If I were you, I'd go now," Cordelia smirked.

Leo left in a swirl of blue lights.

"Why call them whitelighters if their sparkly orb thingies are blue?" Cordelia mused as the last of the sparkles in question faded.

Daniel shifted slightly and reached up to adjust his glasses before he remembered he didn't have them anymore. "Um… I think perhaps it's more metaphorical. You know, the whole light/dark, white/black, good/evil thing."

"Ya' think?"

"So…" Daniel said as he looked at their surroundings. "This place is very…"

"Cecil B. DeMille?" Cordelia offered.

"Yeah. Why is that?"

"Hey, you two were already here when I showed up."

Daniel looked as if he might like to comment when blue glowing lights swirled in front of them, massing into a rather chagrinned Leo.

"That was quick," Cordelia pronounced.

"Just some midwifery concerns. Don't ask." Leo slouched into the nearest cloud form. "I never thought there would come a day that I would hope for a demon attack."

"My wife was possessed by a demon," Daniel muttered softly.

"Some of my best friends are demons," Cordy added. She raised her eyes to the concerned expressions of her companions. "No, they're not, you know, grr demony." She accentuated the comment with clawed hands. "They're more like, softer gentler demons."

"Oh." Daniel looked less than convinced.

"Really. Angel's still a vampire, but all he drinks is pig's blood. You know, from the butcher. And Lorne, well… He's just all green and horny."

The proximate clouds took on a rosy glow as Leo and Daniel exchanged looks, dumbfounded.

"Oh, no, no, no… Well, yeah that too. But horns. You know, from his head." She gestured to her temples.

*Damnit, Leo!*

"I've…"

"Yeah, we know. Have fun."

Cordelia and Daniel jumped when a baritone voice thundered through the clouds.

*Okay, where are you?!*

Cordy frowned. "Definitely not one of mine," she mused.

"Ah. That would be . . . Jack."

"Tall, grey and loud you can keep. I'll wait for the walking dead," Cordelia said sweetly.

*We're only doing this because of you, y'know!*

"So, this set of dulcet tones belongs to your. . . " Cordy waved a hand vaguely.

"Former CO," Daniel muttered distractedly, wincing at a viciously hissed imprecation from beyond.

"You were military?" Cordy quirked a brow. "Who'd 'a guessed?"

Daniel did a double-take.

"Military?" He blinked. "Oh. No, no. Not exactly. Um, listen, Cordelia. I've gotta. . ." He waved a hand towards the clouds located somewhat below them.

"Fly? Orb? Glow?"

"Gotta go. Things to do, busy, busy," he muttered.

*Son of a bitch!*

"'Former' CO, huh? Anybody tried explaining that to him?"

Daniel winced and shrugged, his corporeal form dissipating into a glowing cloud before shooting off through the aether.

Cordelia glanced around at the endless white and slumped down.

"God, I am so bored."