Betrayers of My Trust

by tati

Disclaimer: I will never own Harry Potter.

Summary:  This is a response to Sweetest Revenge by Rochelle.  Draco Malfoy does something entirely irreparable.

WARNING:  This story is R for a REASON!  It is NOT NC-17, as I have read much, /much/ worse that was permitted, so I have abused nothing!  Rated for violence, serious angst (later on), and rape.  If you have a problem with it, go read something else because I didn't write it just to be safe.  It's written because it's how and what I write.  So buzz off. :{

(and if my mean attitude offended, I do apologize but I'm sorta protective of my work.)

As I lay on the bed, my basking disappeared; turned to horror with those few, smug words:

"You're a good fuck Potter."

I choked; I really did, and my chest seized up as my eyes went huge.

He smiled at me and my heart melted before he continued, mercilessly, to break it to shards as my walls fell for the last time that year.

"Yes, that's all you are to me.  A fuck.  Now you know the humiliation I've lived with for the past four years.  Put your clothes on Potter, and get out of my room."

I was kneeled on the bed, beseeching.  He just sneered and turned away…and got dressed…and left the room as I began to cry.  I hadn't cried for twelve fucking years, but now I did.

I had known better.  I had.  But I let myself wish again, hope, that maybe, maybe someone finally loved me.  And now I had been used by the only one to grasp my heart and it had destroyed me.

He had told me that many looked on me as he did.  He had.  Which means that to everyone I am nothing – was always nothing – more than a sex toy.

I slowly pulled on my clothes and left the room.


Wandering the hallways, hours later I suppose, I ran into Ron.  He was angry.  He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me – hard.  Now, I'm naturally small, and the Dursley's rations had decreased my growth even further whereas Ron was tall and muscular.  The differences in our sizes made that shake whip me back and forth, snapping my neck in painful jerks that hurt.  But that wasn't what I noticed.  No, right now I'm just rambling, like the stupid good-for-nothing coward I am.  What really hurt me were his words, and his eyes.

"Where the fuck were you?!" he roared.  "You missed all your afternoon classes, including Potions!  Because of you Snape took sixty points from Gryffindor!  I can't believe what a stupid prat you are!  Defeating You-Know-Who must have really gone to your head!  You can't get away with things because of fame anymore Harry!"  His voice had dropped and the look in his eyes made me freeze.  Hatred shone there.  Hatred.  And contempt.  "If you hadn't noticed, You-Know-Who is gone, and that means no one needs you.  And I am so bloody glad because now I don't have to pretend anymore."  What?  "Yeah, that's right Harry.  Dumbledore assigned me to become you friend all those years ago.  To stick by your side and help you.  I was so honored.  Me, help Harry Potter in the war effort!  But over the years I saw you for what you were, and now I don't need to be your sidekick anymore.  So just fuck off Harry.  Do us all a favor and jump off a cliff."  He slammed me into the wall and punched me in the stomach.  I doubled over.  He was gone when I looked up.


Ron was right.  I knew – know that.  I always knew I was just a tool; that I would be thrown away when my usefulness was ended…but the love they had shown me had made my traitorous heart hope…Well, now I know.

Dumbledore no longer noticed me.  Ron had been nearly ignoring me for weeks. Hermione was too wrapped up in her crush on Ron.  Snape had simply become more vicious.  The Dursleys had never loved me…and now Draco Malfoy had just stripped me of my virginity and told me he didn't want me anymore.  Even Sirius ignores me now.  Hagrid died in the war, as did Dobby, and Ginny and Colin Creevey were just hero-worshippers.

I defeated Voldemort a month ago, but his death and the tortures he performed in my visions still haunt me in sleep.

Great, I've been rambling again.  I'm such an idiot.  A fool.  No one cares.  I had thought Draco might.  I had hoped…the Dursleys had never hurt me, but they had never given me any love, and I thought Draco was; that someone was finally accepting me as just Harry.

All I wanted was love.  It seems this world…this life…just doesn't want to give it to me.

"Do us all a favor and jump off a cliff."

Ron's words echoed in my mind.

"Kill the spare…"

"No take me, kill me instead…"

"That's all you are to me.  A fuck…"

"Stupid boy!  You burnt Duddykins' bacon!"

"No one needs you…"

"Avada Kedavra!"

And then the worst; more horrible than any previous but Draco's occurred just after my defeat of the Dark Lord…


"Harry, go away.  I need to speak to Dumbledore about my release papers and the house the Ministry owes me."

"But Sirius, you told me you needed to speak with me…"

"That was before you beat Voldemort, Harry.  I'm not needed to coddle a child so he can set me free.  As much as I loved James, he's dead, and I'm hurting from Azkaban.  Taking care of you has not helped my health, and I can't take the stress of a child right now!  Go away Harry, and contact me when you grow up!"

"I'm sorry, Sirius.  'Bye."


That had been the last of him.  He never said goodbye back.  I feel so guilty; not only did I have my hands steeped in blood, but also I burdened Sirius!  And prolonged his suffering…I looked down and realized that I am nothing.  I lived.  I defeated Voldemort.  I died.  There was only one part left of what the wizarding world expected me to fulfill.

I lifted the one ward that could stop it from being possible – there is a reason I defeated the Dark Lord; I may be a burden, but I am powerful – and looked down one last time…

And jumped.

Right off the Astronomy Tower.

And there was no magic to stop my fall.

And my body died.

My soul had been way ahead of it.   ---End.