Disclaimer I do not own Elementary. All copyright belongs to CBS television and the original writers. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred.

1. Reasons

Sherlock felt sick. Tommy Gregson was his friend, despite everything that had happened and as such had no reason to lie to him. He knew the older man well enough to know he had always thought the best of him, despite his somewhat unconventional ways. And as far as Joan was concerned he saw her as an equal, a friend. Once that had been ruined but had been slowly regained to be a stronger friendship than ever. He smiled slightly as he thought of his time as a Consulting Detective for the precinct, knowing he would always have good memories of the place. Now after visiting with the former Captain at the Golf Club and hearing about the loss of Paige he knew he might be in the same position as the man he had been sat next to. Joan was sick. She had cancer and she hadn't told him. Worse than that she had instructed Marcus, Kitty and the Captain to not inform him of her diagnosis. He sighed. Knowing that he would have to tell her that he knew. Part of him understood why she hadn't. Despite everything that they had been through she believed he still the same man she had met so many years ago. A junkie, a recovering junkie, he corrected himself that would forever put his work before his life, before his friends and certainly before his family. He scoffed at the idea that she would think the work was more important to him than she was. He shook his head, now young Arthur was in the picture and he had to admit he had fallen for the young boy as much as his mother. Paternal instincts were new and slightly daunting to him, knowing the example of parenting he and Mycroft had been sent but he knew the boy and Joan would need him. And he had to admit, in turn he would need them.

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Thomas Gregson sat on the bench in the Golf Club a while longer after Sherlock had left. He had intended to keep Joan's confidence but knowing how Paige's death had destroyed him and how ill she had been towards the end he had no intention of letting his friend go through that alone. He sighed, hoping Joan would forgive him and knowing he would have to tell her it was him who had broken her trust and told the one man she never wanted to find out. Reluctantly he pulled out his cell phone and pressed the speed dial for her.

"Hi, Joan."

"Hey." Her voice sounded healthy, jovial. The woman he had known for over a decade. "How's retirement treating you?"

"Good." He paused. "I'm at the Golf Club. I just spoke with Sherlock."

"Really?"

"He's leaving tomorrow. To go God knows where and he had no idea about your condition."

"You can say Cancer, Tommy. It is ok, I was a doctor for a long time I have heard the word before." She sighed, knowing that she didnt want him to pity her. She was letting Sherlock go for a reason. She knew his work was too important for him to just walk away. The last thing she was prepared for was for him to resent her.

"I told him."

"Wha! You did what?"

"He loves you Joan. You know that. And I am not wrong in thinking you have been in love with him for years."

"That is not your business."

"No. I know." He sighed. "But I've been in his shoes now. And he didn't even know he was. It wasn't your decision to make, what Sherlock does or doesn't know. He deserves all the information to make an informed decision. You know that and if it were the other way around you'd want to know. Look at everything you guys went through when he had that brain thing."

"Post concussion syndrome."

"Yeah, well. You have Arthur to think about."

"He barely knows Sherlock."

"True. But don't you think the boy deserves to know who his father it? A chance to get to know him. You can lie about your cancer, you can tell Sherlock that young Arthur is a baby you adopted but its funny how that adoption went through 40 weeks after he left the US. But its not fair on either of them, if they don't have the information."

"I did what I did to protect us all. You know that." She was on the verge of tears, knowing her and her old friend were rehashing a four year old argument.

"I know." Tommy walked towards his car. "But, tell me Joan, who is protecting you? And if the worse was to happen, like with Paige."

"I die."

"Who will protect Arthur and Sherlock then?" He hung up the phone as he reached his car as Joan slumped down in her chair, knowing her old friend was right.

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Sherlock stood on the steps of the Brownstone, deep in thought. He loved the old building as much as anyone could love an old house but he knew that Joan had made it a family home in his absence. He smiled at the idea that a young boy was being raised in the same house they had solved so many crimes in. With Clyde in hibernation and the bees on the roof it was truly a family home. Only he didn't know if he was wanted as part of the family. Steeling himself to say what he had to he pushed the door open and stepped inside to see Joan sat on her chair looking dejected.

"You weren't going to tell me. You were going to let me go."

She looked up.

"I am not going to die."

"You have cancer."

"I'm starting Chemo in a few days. I have."

"You really would have let me go without telling me."

"NO! You are saying this like I am not going to get through this!"

I'm staying." He hugged her tightly. "I'm staying." He whispered as he held her. "Of course I am staying." She closed her eyes as he spoke, hoping that somehow they could make it work.

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A/n do I go on? Not written for Elementary fanfiction for a while.