I figured out the most horrible way to mess with Sidious. Don't ask me how my brain works. It won't tell me either.
Chapter 119 The Madness of Sidious
Ahsoka Tano found herself in a metal room and was more than a little confused. She was almost certain that moments ago, she had just been eaten by the Darkness. It was only days earlier that she and several other Jedi Younglings had completed their Initiate Trials and after the Gathering, had just acquired their Kyber Crystals and assembled their first Lightsaber. Before they could even leave the surface of Illum, a cloud of darkness had descended on the planet and a white light had momentarily surrounded her. That was her last memory before standing here.
The metal room had a bizarre texture as if every surface was made from uniform segments. There were no doors or obvious methods of entry or exit, but there was a monitor screen.
The moment she approached it, the screen came to life with a video.
The star of the video had text written in aurebesh, Galactic Basic which read, "Welcome to the End of the Republic. You are here because a Lightsaber was detected on your person."
Ahsoka quickly looked down and confirmed her Lightsaber was still at her side. For some reason, she thought it would have been taken away.
The video continued, "Your Lightsaber is yours of course, but if you are a Jedi, you are to be informed that the Jedi Order is no longer recognized as a legitimate organization, and any attempts to restart it in any form will not be allowed."
Ahsoka knew this was a video, but still stated aloud, "That's crap, why ban the Jedi?"
Unexpectantly, the question, "Why Ban the Jedi?" appeared on the screen, and some text appeared below it.
"The current Jedi Order have failed in their mission to serve the Force and this is their punishment. The Jedi Order of the last 1000 years equates Peace to Stagnation. Force Users cannot serve the Force while also serving another master, like the Senate."
Ahsoka was rendered speechless for a moment.
The video continued, "If you locate an untrained Force Sensitive and feel the need to teach them how to use the Force, that is fine, you simply cannot teach the Jedi Doctrine that has failed the Force. Teach something else. The only requirement is that what you teach cannot promote stagnation. Anything else we leave to you."
Ahsoka felt some of the blood drain from her face. What did it mean? No, she knew exactly what it meant, but it didn't seem possible. Whatever was behind the Darkness was really stripping the Galaxy of the Jedi Order.
The text on the screen changed to a number of pictures. "Former Jedi are encouraged to act as law enforcement for their new homes after relocation. Of course, you can also hide your Lightsaber and deny your past as a Jedi. Your species has been detected to be -Togruta-. As a Jedi, you may select the world you will be relocated to with other Togrutas."
Ahsoka shouted, "What?! What do you mean relocation!?"
The screen showed her questions again, and below it was an answer. "Spaceship Travel has been determined to cause more damage to planets and populations than anything else in the Galaxy. Therefore Spaceship travel will be made illegal. Powerful scanners capable of detecting spaceships will be deployed throughout Hyperspace lanes and any ship found will have its crew detained and the ship scrapped. Before the removal of all spaceship travel, the various species of the Galaxy will be allocated sets of planets for their own use to develop and grow independently of one another."
With the answer once again rendering the young Padawan momentarily mute, the video's text continued, "Please choose a Planet and City to be relocated to. All the information for potential planets and cities to choose from will be made available. Take your time making a decision, travel from planet to planet will not be available for a number of years."
Ashoka recovered enough to shout, "I want to back to Coruscant!"
The video replied, "The Planet Coruscant does not support life and is a drain upon the resources of the Galaxy. Its only value is its relative position within Hyperspace Lanes which are now considered obsolete."
Not willing to accept no as an answer, Ahsoka drew her lightsaber and stabbed it into a wall. Or at least tried to. The Replicator blocks heated up upon impact but the heat spread and dissipated faster than the point of contact could melt. Normal Replicator blocks would in fact melt on contact with a lightsaber, but this room was constructed especially for stubborn Jedi, so escape was not an option.
Ahsoka shouted and tried slicing through the walls again and again. She wailed and cried and screamed and even dropped her Lightsaber and started banging on the walls.
The video screen changed to another message. "The Galaxy had to change. Change is usually brought on by pain and bloodshed, but a vast amount of resources have been allocated to make the Galaxy change without the need for violence and death. However, such a substantial change occurring without violence or death will naturally be met with great resistance. It simply does not feel natural for so much change to occur without violence and bloodshed leading up to said change which will inevitably cause a terrible feeling of incongruity. Please accept that this change is necessary. This change is hundreds of years overdue."
After a few minutes of silence, Ashoka asked aloud, "Can I just go to a planet with another Jedi?"
Some text appeared on the screen. "Yes. Is that what you wish?"
She answered resolutely, "Yes," and white light surrounded her once more, and she was teleported back into the matter storage buffer.
A few moments later, another Jedi was teleported into the room and the screen started playing again.
Jean and Rogue watched Ashoka's choice from another room and both were struggling not to run out and comfort her. The system was mostly automated and one of the problems was that although the system could tell the difference between species in the matter storage buffer and confirm the presence of a lightsaber, it would not determine age, so the message was the same for an adult with a lightsaber and a child.
Jean sighed and turned to screen off while Rogue asked, "She really wanted to be with another Jedi huh?"
Jean nodded and answered, "Padawans with a Master-Apprentice Bond train far faster than Padawans without one. That's why Padawans who don't have a Master never become Jedi Knights. She has probably been looking forward to getting a master her whole life, just like all the other Padawans and younglings."
Rogue wondered if anything would be done about all the younglings in the Jedi Temple. She figured she'd ask Harry if they could be stored separately and to make sure they were all sent to a planet with a few Jedi on it. Jean was privately having similar thoughts.
Uprooting an entire Galaxy without bloodshed didn't mean there wouldn't be any tears and they all had to accept that. No one would like to have their entire lives turned upside down and have their future ripped from their hands.
Their main source of solace was that the homes provided would give them just about everything they needed. The matter converters would provide clean water and food and seeds to plant. The Internet would not be limited to just their own planet but would allow communication across the Galaxy. The video games that could be played through the internet had multiplayer functions that allowed co-op from players on other planets. The literature and knowledge available on every computer would allow anyone to learn just about anything. The only thing they could not give was a family to those without one, but that was the point of putting the same species in the same space. It would allow for them to group together quickly into communities.
It had been a month since the Galaxy's first planet had Gone Dark and many things had changed during that time. Though multiple planets went dark a day, it would still take years for them all to be affected and many outer rim planets were being evacuated.
The Clone Wars came to a grand halt when Kamino went Dark and all contact was lost with the Cloners. The Separatists were unable to celebrate their independence as their most valuable planets often went dark, even the ones not located in the outer rim.
Palpatine's effort to direct his apprentice into actions to relight the spark of the Clone Wars had minimal effect. Count Dooku spent most of his time trying to locate the source of the Darkness without being consumed by it and had no luck in his search. The Separatists were unable to do anything more damaging than the Darkness so their presence was little more than an afterthought in the minds of the citizens of the old Republic.
Palpatine had of course ordered Dooku to send numerous droid scanners to planets that had gone dark, but after leaving Hyperspace, not a one sent back a useful signal. The only way to get some information was to exit Hyperspace very early and travel to the planet at sunlight speeds. The Darkness surrounding the planets that had Gone Dark did not extend indefinitely around the planets, so there was a distance safe enough to gather intel. The only problem was that all reconnaissance missions where information was successfully gathered pointed to the same conclusion. The Darkness that took over a planet didn't leave after any period of time meaning all taken planets were, at least for now, still inhospitable. Or at least that was the guess of those who checked the data.
Just about every computer system in the Galaxy was hacked in one way or another, so the unmanned probes only gave information Harry wanted them to. A number of them even 'got lucky' and were able to get 'readings on the planet' which showed no signs of sentient races on the surface.
Wanda had the most fun editing the videos captured by the unmanned drones. According to her edited videos, many of the planets were not only covered by a thick layer of darkness but there were massive, titan-sized creatures moving about beneath the darkness. An especially vivid image of a continent-sized tentacle emerging momentarily from the darkness was something she considered her best work. Everyone got together and watched the live security footage of the group that saw the edited footage for the first time. Two members of the group screamed like little girls and three more directly fainted.
Besides messing with the Republic, Harry and the girls did go to Anakin's wedding and Obi-Wan and even Yoda showed up as well. Both brought a towel which proved useful as the wedding venue was outside and they sat on the grass using their towel as a seat. Anakin was not removed from the Jedi but instead sent on a few missions with Obi-Wan to check out the Separatists and find out what, if any, connection they had to the Darkness.
As they went off on their adventures, Harry and the girls each had their own fun.
Wanda took dozens of Glamor shots of Goose the Flerken, printed them into Posters, and posted them using Reality Magic all over the galaxy. The Posters had a sub-caption on them that read, "Join the Cult of Cthulhu. Guaranteed Protection from the Darkness."
With that single move, a vast majority of the galaxy now thought Cthulhu was an orange tabby cat. Jean, Wanda, and Jade worked together to make a Cult of Cthulhu which worshiped Goose. They often took the Flerken to Cult meetings where hundreds or thousands of aliens would bow in worship to Goose. Goose wasn't entirely aware of what they were doing but thought it was completely natural to sit upon a pedestal and lounge while being prayed to by the inhabitants of multiple worlds.
They even convinced multiple cult members to voyage into the darkness willingly. If they brought everything they owned with them, it wasn't a big deal to store their belongings in the matter storage buffer to place into their new homes later.
While the girls elevated Goose to her rightful place as omnipotent lord of the Universe, Harry was busy messing with Palpatine.
He didn't want to kill him, but for someone who was perhaps the evilest being he'd ever encountered, Harry couldn't lower himself to whoopie cushions and holograms. Darth Sidious's grand plan, besides absolute power and immortality, was literally to blow up every planet that wasn't loyal to him until only those who were loyal to him were left, thus making the known universe well and truly his. He would literally rather destroy the entire Galaxy than allow it to exist under a rule, not of his own.
It took some time, but Harry eventually formulated a plan worthy of a Dark Lord of the Sith.
Three months after the first planet had Gone Dark, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine was seen discussing safety measures with his various political supporters when Representative Binks approached. His eyes were a maddeningly vicious yellow.
A Lightsaber then appeared in the Gungan's hand and a blood-red blade extended out. He jumped at Palpatine and shouted, "Mesa gonna Kill You! Oke-Day!?"
Palpatine jumped back in terror and ran away, barely avoiding imminent bisection.
Binks shouted with all the hatred in the world, "Yousa gonna pay for dis!"
Palpatine should not have been able to outrun the Gungan without resorting to the Force, but the truth was, this was not Palpatine, and that was not Jar Jar Binks. Harry turned himself into Palpatine, then used a Polyjuice Potion on Palpatine to turn him into Jar Jar Binks. If that wasn't bad enough, he cast a spell on the Sith Lord which forced him to talk like Jar Jar as well. It came as no surprise that the first thing Palpatine did was grab his lightsaber and look for his doppelganger.
Harry felt incredibly pleased with himself for creating a true Darth Jar Jar.
After about an hour of running around which caused a couple of Jedi to be called in, Harry vanished and Palpatine returned to normal as the Polyjuice wore off. He had no idea what had caused his transformation and no idea when it would wear off. Once he was back to his original form, he had no choice but to pretend he had just been chased by a lightsaber-wielding Jar Jar Binks for the last hour. The interview with security and the Jedi was as infuriating as it was awkward. Especially when it was determined that Jar Jar Binks was not even on the planet, and was currently on Naboo at Padmé's request.
When Palpatine returned to his office, he found that his doppelganger was there, sitting in his seat, admiring the feel of the armrests.
The Supreme Chancellor had cooled down enough from earlier to not jump the gun and try splitting this imposter in two. First, he observed him. The clearest thing that could be noticed was that, unlike earlier, the man before him was clearly ancient. When he chased him through the Senate, he looked identical to his current appearance, but now he looked as if time had beaten him viciously to death but it never took.
The imposter never looked up at the Chancellor, he simply stated, "Oh how I missed this chair. Though little more than an illusion, it felt so real back then."
Palpatine looked like he was going to reply, but instead, he immediately drew his lightsaber once more and sliced at his imposter's neck.
The ancient imposter casually grabbed the vibrant blade with a pinch of his fingers. Darth Sidious was unable to believe this and tried to draw his weapon back, but it seemed as if it had somehow been welded into place.
The imposter lightly slid his pinched fingers towards the lightsaber's hilt, forcing the blade to retract back into the handle with the barest of effort.
Sidious snarled and released his weapon, falling back to his mastery of Sith Lightning.
The imposter held up his pinky finger which somehow drew all the lightning to it like a lightning rod and yet remained undamaged despite the flood of power Sidious unleashed upon this hated foe.
The ancient imposter showed little more than amusement at Palpatine's outburst.
Eventually, Palpatine realized this was not how he was going to kill this man and ended his useless attack.
The imposter stated, "I have forgotten many things in my time, but the look of shock, pain, terror, and hatred on my father's face as I killed my mother and brother in front of him is something I shall never forget."
Palpatine understood the implication but shouted, "You are not me!"
The imposter chuckled and stated, "Not anymore. But I once was. Long ago. I can almost remember standing where you are now, watching my future self destroy the Grand Plan. Hating my imposter for ruining everything. Witnessing the Republic that should have become my Empire fall to pieces around me. I went through the baptism of suffering and madness and only after I accepted the truth was I able to find my Master. The Great Cthulhu."
Palpatine sneered and stated mockingly, "You claim to be me from the future?"
The ancient imposter replied, "I don't need to claim anything. Eventually, you will see the truth. Eventually, you will understand. You will then go on a journey to find and awaken your true master from his slumber. He will teach you true power."
Palpatine snarled, "I am power!"
The imposter shook his head. "You are merely a slave to the Dark Side of the Force. Without it, you are nothing. My Master is older than the Force. Older than time. Older than Death. Through his teachings, I have discarded the Force. Do you know how old I am? I don't remember how old I am, but I can tell you that I have lived through more years than your Old Republic. Time and Death are meaningless concepts to me. The Force cannot harm me because I am beyond the Force. My master has awarded my devotion and sent me back in time so that I may take every star and planet in the Galaxy in his glorious name."
Palpatine was gritting his teeth so hard he felt they may shatter at any moment. This creature in front of him not only claimed to be him but claimed to be the loyal servant of some hideous abomination? This repulsive imposter dared to claim the Galaxy in the name of another?!
The imposter smiled at Palpatine as if knowing what the Supreme Chancellor was thinking. That thought deeply disturbed him. The imposter then waved his hand and the window behind him started to smoke. A part of the window changed into a black smoking mass which expanded into a shadowy, flesh-like texture. Once it expanded far enough, the center of the flesh that had replaced the window turned into tentacles that spread out, opening a massive hole in the window that Palpatine knew was strong enough to handle a missile attack.
The imposter said, "Don't worry, I remember this part. You'll survive. Enjoy it."
At first, Palpatine didn't understand the imposter's meaning, but the fleshy tentacles surrounding the window's opening stretched out like lightning and grabbed his arm. He had not sensed the danger through the Force, even as the tentacle pulled Palpatine towards the window and unceremoniously yeeted him outside to drop thousands of feet to his likely death.
The transfigured window turned back to normal as Harry returned to his normal form. He actually didn't know if Palpatine would survive being thrown out the window, but if he did, Palpatine was more likely to believe his, "I am your future self" act. And if he didn't survive, oh well. Unlike the Jedi Temple which Mace Windu was yeeted out from, the Senate had a lot of traffic in the airspace around it meaning Palpatine should have a number of options to choose from when it came to finding something to catch before encountering the ground.
Harry spotted Palpatine's lightsaber and couldn't help himself. He disassembled it and added a few charms to the kyber crystal before reassembling it and placing it back into the secret compartment in Palpatine's chair.
Another month passed by and the Confederacy of Independent Systems had well and truly collapsed. Most of their resources were spent to make spaceships and space stations that could survive far away from any planet to avoid the impending darkness. Harry would leave them alone for now. They thought they were hidden, but since Harry had access to every one of their systems, he would know their locations no matter where they chose to hide.
The citizens of the Republic eventually caught wind of the fact that the terms of surrender to save themselves from the Darkness were to disband the Republic and dissolve the Jedi Order. Multiple planets severed themselves from the Republic, claiming they were permanently leaving and spreading this information far and wide.
When the Jedi were ordered by the Senate to negotiate with the systems that wanted to leave, they were met with heavy resistance and in some cases violence. Systems that left the Republic claimed the Darkness would come for them if a Jedi came to their system which prevented any negotiations from even starting.
Palpatine, who had in fact survived his fall by using the Force to adjust his course and land on a security drone, was being told by nearly everyone to force the Jedi to dissolve, and to allow the Republic to disband until the threat of the Darkness had been resolved.
When Palpatine tried to contact Dooku, the call was blocked, leading Palpatine to believe Dooku had betrayed him and run away or that he had been taken. He was not in a position to do anything about either case.
"Would you help an old man toast his bread?"
The question came from behind in an all too familiar voice. Palpatine started charging his Sith Lightning before even turning around and practically roared as he turned and unleashed a maelstrom of hatred given form.
The ancient imposter was actually holding up a slice of bread and all of his lightning was directed to the piece which very slowly changed from white to a golden brown.
The imposter then nodded contently and took a bite of the toast. "Ah, thank you, young man."
The moment he took a bite, Palpatine felt the Force was cut from him, severing his ability to draw power from it, causing the storm of lightning to abate. He was unable to draw strength or knowledge or power from the Force at this moment while the decrepit thing in front of him finished up his slice of toast.
What was more jarring was that once the toast was finished, Palpatine felt the return of his Force abilities, as if they had never vanished. An impulse to once again use his lightning to sear the man's corpse into nothingness was suppressed by the sheer bizarreness of what had just occurred. His connection to the Force was turned off and on like a light switch. His power was taken and returned like it was nothing. This was not acceptable!
The ancient imposter smiled and said, "You begin to understand. You think the power is yours because the Dark Side takes power from the Force, but anything taken can be lost. My power comes from my devotion to my master. As long as my devotion never wavers, my power can never be taken or lost."
Palpatine sneered once more, "You think power gifted to you by that abomination is real power?! You are a fool and one way or another I shall kill you!"
The imposter's smile never wavered. He continued, "You are still young and naïve. You also underestimate my master. You do not believe my master is what I have told you. My master is older than this Universe. When this Universe was just a spark, my master was already ancient. When this Universe returns to Darkness and another takes its place, my master will still exist. And as my master's loyal servant, I too shall exist. When this Universe dies, the Force shall die with it. You wish to become immortal, yet you still believe you can rely on the weakness of the Force? I have attained everything you have ever dreamed of."
Palpatine nearly recoiled in horror. This crippled fraud actually claimed he would outlive the Universe using the power of Cthulhu? That was impossible. He'd never even considered such a thing could occur. But. What if it were true?
Palpatine cautiously asked, "And where is your master now?"
The ancient fraud chuckled. "My master's form cannot be contained in this small space."
Palpatine sneered at the implication Cthulhu was truly as large as that hologram once showed and stated mockingly, "He dares not show himself in the city?"
The imposter shook his head, "You misunderstand. The small space I spoke of was not this city. It was this Universe. My master's true form is greater than the Universe, and his presence within is merely a projection. If you truly wish to see it, I can call upon another projection of my master to appear. Would you like to?"
Palpatine's eyes narrowed. After a few moments of silence, he stated, "Do it."
A portal appeared in the space next to them and Goose walked out. Though disguised, Goose could still recognize Harry through their familiar bond. The disguised Harry then bent to his knees with his arms stretched over his head and devoutly bent down in worship. "Oh my great Lord Cthulhu! I had nothing but joy in my heart that you have honored me with your presence."
Goose replied through their link, 'Give me a bed.'
Harry internally smiled at her reaction and transfigured the floor. From Palpatine's perspective, his imposter had just loyally bowed to a cat, and now the floor looked as if it was melting. The floor then turned into a mass of detailed tentacles which rose the tile beneath the cat into the air. The tiled turned into a luxurious bed and the tentacles solidified into a disturbingly ornate pillar of stone tentacles on which the cat was regally perched.
Palpatine couldn't take it anymore, so he gathered his infinite fury and moved to vaporize the cat with lightning. Harry figured it would happen though and already activated the formation he set around the room which separated the area from the rest of the Universe and the Force. Palpatine's action of angrily pointing at the cat made him look ridiculous.
Harry, still reverently bowing to Goose, stated, "My Lord, please grant my former self the baptism of madness as you once so graciously granted me."
Goose had long since figured out what kind of play his humans were planning, and since she was in fact enjoying herself, she had no real qualms playing along.
Palpatine had no idea what his crazy imposter was referring to, but then the lounging tabby cat opened its mouth and he felt a sense of dread that reached to the depths of his soul.
A horrible mass of serrated tentacles far, far greater in volume than the cat itself, had ejected themselves from the creature's mouth. Palpatine had no access to the Force so was moving only on instinct as he turned and ran for his life. The tentacles moved far faster though and wrapped around his legs and waist. He was then slapped and tossed against the wall and floor and he unconsciously screamed.
The imposter never got up from his kneeling position but he shouted, "Now you shall experience the glory of the Master and be gifted with the truth of the Universe!"
The tentacles then drew Palpatine into Goose's mouth where he was then eaten.
Harry got up and started petting Goose. "Thanks for playing along. Please don't digest him, I want to play with him just a little longer."
Goose replied through their link, 'Then I'll play with him a little too.'
For some reason, Harry suddenly felt sorry for Palpatine. The Pocket Dimension within a Flerken could store an entire Universe, though the act of devouring a Universe was most uncomfortable. Harry once used a viewing spell to check out what Goose's pocket dimension looked like and it made most horror movies seem tame. And now Goose was likely giving Palpatine the grand tour.
Harry just stood there petting Goose for a half-hour before Goose started hacking like she was going to spit out a hairball.
Harry got back into position as Palpatine was yeeted out from Goose's pocket dimension. Though unharmed he was covered in pink goo and slid along the length of the floor before coming to a stop. He was conscious, he was unresponsive on the floor. Goose put the cat in catatonic.
In his ancient Palpatine form, Harry picked up Goose while dispelling the transfigured tentacle column and walked past the fallen Palpatine out the door. Without turning to the Supreme Chancellor, he said, "The door to ultimate power is before you. Only you can decide whether or not to enter it."
Harry decided he'd played with the man enough this week and moved his interests back to the Jedi.
The next day, posters of Goose appear throughout the Jedi Temple. On each is a caption that reads, "Do Not Panic." Considering the general mood of the Temple, the posters were left up since it was a good message to keep in mind.
Yoda remained confused throughout most of the following months. Despite the vanishing of countless worlds and hundreds of Jedi, the Force did not seem to feel any sort of pain. When a large number of Jedi died, it was not difficult to sense the loss within the Force. Throughout his meditations, however, Yoda felt nothing. It was like seeing fire without smoke. Yoda was a great many things, but a fool was not one of them. After months of meditating, he was able to see a hint of the truth.
Without informing others of his findings, Yoda slowly hobbled through the temple until he found Obi-Wan and his apprentice discussing their findings with other Jedi knights.
Obi-Wan stopped and stated, "Master Yoda, did you have any further questions?"
Yoda nodded, "A few I have, but for you, they are not. With your Padawan, I wish to speak."
The others sensed that Yoda wished this conversation to be private and left with a respectful nod. Yoda met Anakin's gaze and saw a complete lack of fear and concern. He'd seen it multiple times in the last few months, but only now did he understand its meaning. Yoda asked, "The source of the Darkness, know it you do." It was not a question. It was a simple fact.
Anakin showed a moment of surprise but then smiled. He was never asked to hide it. He had learned that hiding some things made other things worse in the long run. He answered in all honesty, "That's right."
Yoda nodded and continued, "Harm the Galaxy, the Darkness will not?" This was a question. One he had been ruminating over every moment of the last few months.
Anakin's smile weakened a bit since he was well aware of the pain the turning over of the galaxy would cause. But pain was sometimes necessary, and it was not the same thing as harm. He answered, "No one will be harmed."
Though Yoda heard a number of things in that answer, there was still honestly at the core, meaning the Galaxy was not in any true danger. Yoda sighed with relief. "The one pulling the strings, I wish to meet."
Anakin pulled out a communicator and punched a few buttons. The other end rang a few times before being picked up. "Hey Harry, Yoda figured it out and wants to talk. Yeah, we're alone. Okay, sure."
He then hung up and said, "Give it a moment."
A silver portal then appeared in the hall the pair stood in. Harry could locate Anakin's communicator so sending a portal there wasn't difficult. Anakin took a moment to savor the astounded look on the Grandmaster's face before stepping through the portal, followed by a hobbling Yoda.
The new room was the living room with a couch and a large TV, though no one was using it at the moment. Harry walked in a moment later and Yoda didn't seem surprised to see him. He'd seen the young man at Anakin's wedding and the fact that neither Harry nor any of the young human females with him had any presence in the Force had been a great source of confusion until his recent epiphany.
Harry smiled at the ancient Jedi Master and stated, "I wondered if you'd catch on. I did leave you enough clues."
Before Yoda could respond, Harry tossed a silver ring at the ceiling which expanded into another portal. A familiar old man fell down and twisted his body to land safely. Count Dooku looked a bit jittery upon falling into an unfamiliar space, but when he spotted Anakin and Yoda, his tension noticeably dropped.
Harry announced, "Dooku, Yoda just figured out the secret of the Darkness and is here to learn what's been going on for the past few months. I figured I'd invite you since you might want to know as well."
Dooku collected himself and took in Harry's appearance. He sensed nothing from him. It was like a hologram or a droid, he completely lacked even the smallest presence in the Force.
Anakin headed off into a hallway and said "I'll get some snacks." He'd been here enough times to know his way around.
Yoda approached his former Padawan and stated, "Looking well you are not, my old friend."
Dooku was well and truly strained over the last few months. No matter the planet he had tried to hide on, it had never taken longer than a week for the Darkness to find them. He wanted to go home but feared the Darkness would follow him back. He wanted to give up this foolish endeavor but had no other options available to him.
Harry stated, "Before we start, did you want to tell Yoda who Sidious is? I will be doing so if you do not."
Dooku wasn't sure if he was being tricked, so he stated, "If you would like to, then by all means."
Harry nodded and picked up a remote control. He turned it on and a video popped up which appeared to be coming from Palpatine's new office. He'd insisted on moving to an office without a window. The office was currently empty but Harry got out a tablet and typed in a few things. Suddenly some lights came together in what was clearly a hologram, but the image grew clearer until it was indistinguishable from something real.
The image that appeared was of a terribly skinny young human woman with blonde hair. She was sitting on the top of Palpatine's large desk in the fetal position. She then grabbed what appeared to be an electric shaver and began shaving her head. The door opened and Palpatine just stood there, frozen as a strange woman sat on his desk shaving her head bald. She looked at him and said in a crackly voice over the sound of the electric razor, "Gov'ment came and Took my Baby!"
Palpatine closed the door.
Harry snickered and tapped on the tablet again and the hologram turned off. Palpatine opened the door again and looked around the empty room. He decided to close the door again.
Harry laughed and said, "I've been messing with him for a few weeks now."
Dooku sighed and stated, "Yes. While investigating my apprentice's death, I learned that Palpatine was a Sith Lord."
Yoda frowned at the unbelievable statement.
Anakin returned with popcorn and heard what Dooku said, "Yeah, I didn't believe it either until Harry showed me a mountain of evidence." He offered some popcorn to Dooku and said, "Palpatine apparently wanted me to kill you and become his apprentice."
Dooku sighed and looked carefully over the popcorn for a moment before picking up a single kernel and eating it.
Yoda was still having a hard time believing it and asked, "Why serve him if know this you did?"
Dooku looked down upon the grandmaster and stated succulently, "He admitted to being a Sith and offered me a place that could allow me to directly oppose him. I always planned to betray him, but after accepting I found it far more difficult than I initially thought."
Harry noticed Yoda's firm disbelief and said, "The Jedi have remained the same for a thousand years. The Sith have not. In the past, the Sith always rose to power, created an army, and used that army to threaten the Republic. Palpatine knew this is what you expected of the Sith and used that expectation against you. By making it known that Dooku had joined the Dark Side and was raising an army, the Confederacy, he made you look in the wrong direction as he slowly gained power in the Senate. The moment he was granted Emergency Powers, he had already won."
Dooku nodded, "Even while planning to betray him, I was still just another one of his pawns."
Anakin chipped in, "Harry isn't a local. He saw everything that was happening and it seems the Force asked him to intervene."
Harry chuckled, "Actually, the Force asked my wife to burn half the Republic to cinders."
Dooku and Yoda both turned to face Harry in horror. Not at the admission, but because they had both just been told by the Force that what Harry said was completely true.
Harry then continued, "But I thought that was a bit much, so I made a different plan that would still fix all the problems the Force had with the Jedi and the Republic without killing hundreds of trillions of innocents."
Dooku stated, "The Darkness. This is your doing."
Harry nodded, "The Darkness is a fleet of robots with extremely advanced technology covered by a hologram that hides their true appearance. I've been using them to fix damaged worlds. I also have the tech to teleport living beings into a matter storage buffer. All the beings on the taken planets are being stored until the planets are fixed. Then they will be placed back onto planets into premade cities. Each home includes a lot of luxuries such as matter converters which can make food and water from energy taken from sunlight, computers, and other things a majority of the Galaxy lacks."
Dooku asked, "Why? Why destroy civilization and remake it at all?"
Harry answered, "Because the civilization I make will be very, very different. In each city, I'm leaving a Stargate, a matter transporter than allows matter and lifeforms to be instantly transported from one planet to another. However, the use of the Stargates will be limited for a number of years. The main thing is that I am shutting down all space travel. The robot fleets will tour the Hyperspace lanes forever and take apart any ship they find. I'm forcing planets to develop in a way in which they can become independent of other planets. This is a boon to life and the will of the Force."
Dooku asked, "And what of Serenno?"
Harry nodded, "That's actually one of the things I wanted to discuss with both of you. The Jedi Order had failed, but it is not entirely their fault. In any case, something better should replace it. Something that does not get in the way of change and allows progression. If you two can come together and create a new foundation for Force Users, I can build a new Temple on Serenno and when I destroy Coruscant, I can take all the younglings there."
Yoda asked, "If a choice we cannot make, for the younglings, what will you do?"
"Well, to promote unity, I'm only placing one or two species on each planet. So the younglings would simply be placed on a planet with their species and their training would likely come to an end unless a Jedi of the same species was on the planet as well and took them in."
Dooku sighed. He took the bowl of popcorn from Anakin and sat on the couch. He knew this conversation would take some time, but it was a conversation worth having.
Several days passed by in discussion and Dooku and Yoda met Harry's wives. Both were especially wary of Jean and Wanda. Jean was no longer hiding her presence as she did during Anakin's wedding and the Jedi felt that she was similar to an Avatar of the Force. Anakin reveled in their expressions when he told them it was Jean who the Force asked to burn the Galaxy to cinders. Wanda was met with even more caution. Chaos Magic was almost pure Dark Side. Both Yoda and Dooku had met the Matriarch of the Witches of Dathomir and felt Wanda's dark presence exceeded that woman's own manyfold.
The pair took part in the discussion of a new Force academy as Jean could speak for the will of the Force and Wanda knew more about learning arts that corrupted the user than any Jedi.
Yoda stated at one point that he wanted to return to the Temple, but Harry just informed him that his mastery over Time travel would allow him to send Yoda, Anakin, and Dooku, back to the moment they arrived. Dooku declined being sent back, however. Since he knew the fate of the Galaxy, he no longer saw any point in wasting his time dealing with the leaders of the Separatists. In fact, he asked if he would be allowed to make some suggestions on the Editing of Serenno, to which Harry fully agreed.
Some days after many long discussions had finished, Yoda was returned via portal to the Jedi Temple where Anakin was waiting for him. Anakin intended to spend the rest of his life with Padmé on Naboo so he didn't feel the need to give any input on the future of the Jedi. He returned many days ago but due to time travel, he only returned a few moments ago.
Anakin saw that Yoda looked both weary and relieved, a mark difference compared to his appearance when he first approached him. He asked, "How long were you in there?"
"A month, I think. Many things to discuss with my former apprentice I had."
Anakin nodded, "Will you tell the Council?"
Yoda sighed, "Step down from the seat of Grandmaster, I will. Ask to take charge of the younglings, I will. Make easier the transition, I will. The least I can do, this is."
Anakin understood the answer, though it was left unsaid. Yoda was not the most stubborn member of the High Council, he was simply too reactionary. He would not commit to a decision until he had a strong enough reason to do so. It was something the Sith had taken advantage of. For the past thousand years, they made only the smallest of waves in their grand schemes which were not enough for Yoda to notice or react to. In other words, Yoda had done nothing to stop the Sith in the last thousand years because he was always under the assumption that any move taken by the Sith would be grand and make great waves. Anything that did not make great waves had nothing to do with the Sith.
Other members of the Jedi High Council were different. They were truly stubborn. They would not accept the truth and inevitability of their future even if Yoda were to spell it out for them letter by letter. So rather than dealing with headaches he'd never meet again once the Temple was taken by those robots, he'd rather spend the remaining days of the Jedi Order getting to know the Younglings he'd spend the rest of his life bringing up.
According to Harry, the Stargate on Serenno would open to Human and Dathomirian populated worlds in a decade or two and other worlds some decades later. That was enough time to train the next generation in a new Order before allowing them to leave for other worlds. Yoda would take to heart his mistakes and remain flexible so that the next generation of Force Users could truly act under the will of the Force as he had failed to do.
The Jedi Temple was quite shocked when Yoda stepped down from his seat and stated that they must consider the dissolution of the Jedi Order. Most of the Jedi Master did not accept his words, though Mace Windu was often seen having private discussions with Yoda and often taught younglings together. What Anakin found funny was that Yoda and Windu were never seen around the Temple without a towel in hand.
A year passed by though Harry skipped most of it via Time Travel. He and his wives would skip forwards a few weeks or a month and do some stuff before skipping ahead once more.
More than half the Galaxy had Gone Dark and many planets had been fully edited and were being repopulated. Many of the new residents stayed in their new homes for days before wandering out. The new homes had doors with locks, bathrooms, water, and food, so they could stay within as long as they wanted. But most species are naturally communal and they would eventually leave to check out their new homes and worlds. The computers gave them all the knowledge they needed for maps and local areas. The only things they did not have were vehicles and spaceships. They had to walk.
Every resident was given a Replicator Bracelet which came with a mini-computer. It was mostly to prevent them from getting lost and acted as a Key to their homes.
Even if it took months or years, the communities would eventually get to know each other and grow closer. Without the need to compete for resources or knowledge, they could live how they wanted to or for each other. Cities expanded as proactive members created farms or workshops to allow them to build and grow as they pleased.
Yoda, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Mace Windu eventually gathered all the younglings on Coruscant and took them to Serenno. Harry helped by providing ships and used some clever hacks to prevent others from stopping them. Serenno had already 'Gone Dark' but the group was not beamed into a matter storage buffer on their arrival. Master Windu and Obi-Wan had been eventually briefed on Harry Potter and knew they could not stop him, so they relented to assisting with the Future. Dooku agreed to allow Master Windu to join him at the new Temple of the Force. Windu was one of the few Jedi capable of using the Dark Side while fighting, though he only used his opponent's Dark Side against them. It still counted and he'd make a fine addition to the staff of a new Temple to teach the next generation.
Obi-Wan then traveled to Kalevala which had Gone Dark, but was not finished being Edited. He asked for Satine Kryze to be taken out of the Matter Storage Buffer so he could talk with her. Harry agreed to the request and even agreed to allow Satine to choose how her planet would be edited.
Once everyone Anakin cared about was where they wanted to be, Anakin returned to Naboo. The planet was considered to have Gone Dark only a few days ago, but it hadn't changed much besides the taking apart of the Plasma Mining facilities and the removal of all spaceships in the spaceport. There were also vast fields of crops and a number of new houses made by replicators. Anakin could use a Replicator computer to keep in contact with Obi-Wan, Yoda, or Dooku whenever he wanted to and had no more reasons to return to the Temple.
Since the number of Replicators had increased with every taken world, Harry sped up the Editing and a month later, 80% of planets had Gone Dark.
The Jedi had been chased out of the Temple of Coruscant and fled, but most arrived on Planets that had Gone Dark and were promptly stored in a Matter Storage Buffer.
Palpatine was losing his mind. He tried meditating using his Lightsaber, but the spells placed on the Kyber Crystal prevented him from pulling himself together.
Soon, the Darkness came for Coruscant. Palpatine and many others intended to leave but soon discovered that all the space around the planet was engulfed in Darkness like a massive shell. Even the planet's sun was blocked out by the Darkness which very slowly shrunk around the planet. Those on the planet had no way of knowing the Darkness was just a shell. From their perspective, the Universe had been completely engulfed in Darkness and their planet was all that was left. This thought was made worse by the fact that signals could not penetrate the Darkness, so no ship could enter Coruscant and no signals could be received by Coruscant. From their perspective, they were now alone in the Darkness.
Rather than take the entire planet at once, massive tentacles of darkness came down from the shell surrounding the planet and slowly swiped over the planet. Every area it swiped over was rendered silent and empty. Cultists filled the streets spouting the Glory of Cthulhu. Though they were actually thinking of Goose.
Palpatine stood in a room in the Senate looking out a window at the mountain-sized tentacle slowly making its way to the Senate building. Some Senators-turned-Cultists were raving that their time had come but he was ignoring them. As the tentacle very slowly grew larger in its approach, Palpatine started laughing. Tears streamed down his face as he laughed and fell to his knees.
Not caring about the Senators around him he shouted, "Almighty Cthulhu, I have seen the truth. Allow me to serve you in all your glorious Majesty!"
Inside his mind, he heard his future self's voice, "If you wish to serve the Great Cthulhu, you must find him. You will only find him when you have truly and wholly devoted your mind and soul to his glory. Will you take up this task?"
Palpatine shouted eagerly, "I will!"
A silver portal appeared before him. The voice in his head stated, "Then discard your lightsaber, your connection to the Force and enter. This is the world the Almighty Cthulhu sleeps. When your devotion has reached the level of my own, you will find him and awaken him. Then everything you desire, everything you deserve, will be yours!"
Palpatine took his lightsaber and threw it to the side before getting up and shouting, "Yes! It will be Mine! All Glory to Cthulhu!" He then ran through the portal to the planet Dagobah.
From the TV screen, the girls all watched this while eating popcorn. Jade said, "Holy shit! I can't believe that actually worked!"
Harry smiled, "My knowledge of the mind has gone a long way thanks to my study of the Mind Stone."
Wanda asked, "So he's just gonna search Dagobah for Cthulhu for the rest of his life?"
Jean nodded, "Yeah. And since he thinks he can conquer death by doing so, he won't care how long it takes. Since he thinks his future self already succeeded, he won't even be able to acknowledge that he was tricked."
MJ asked, "Isn't Dagobah a really strong planet in the Force?"
Jean answered, "That's the beauty of the plan. Palpatine thinks he needs to discard the Force. It's like being thirsty while surrounded by fresh water but being unable to drink. It will be a hell of his own making."
Rogue took some popcorn and added, "So a happily ever after then."
Harry answered, "Pretty much. Ah, I checked back home. We need to head over for a bit. We just got an invitation to a wedding."
Jean asked excitedly, "Oh? Who's getting married?"
"Tony finally asked Pepper."
The girls cheered for Pepper and quickly started discussing what to wear for the wedding. Harry hoped nothing bad would happen, but since all the Avengers were going to be invited, he doubted it. What were the chances, right?
*Laughs in Cliffhanger*