I decided to make a Rollercoaster Tycoon Fanfiction, this is the first of them. Rollercoaster Tycoon 3 was my favourite game as a child, and I would play the everloving shit out of it. I've played a lot of RCT2, but I prefer RCT3.
So, here's to the second RCT fanfiction lol. Enjoy or suffer.
Are you tired of living your drab life on the ground?
''Yeah!'', a teenage boy said.
Well that's great you acne ridden moron! Come to the thrill capital of this part of the county,
The place where a bunch of unsmooth rollercoasters and an assload of flat rides reside, with absolutely no theming, yet we still call it a theme park!
Come ride the star attraction, Hypercoaster 1! Featuring a big drop, a weird figure of 8 loop, and some other elements. Don't forget our classic Corkscrew Coaster 1, and the beloved Wooden Coaster 2!
But if high level thrills aren't for you, then we've got you covered, you fucking pussy!
We have our shitty Mine Train 1, and Junior Coasters 1 and 2. We also have the classic Side Friction Coaster 1! If they are too intense for you then please consider our perfect ride for you: The exit!
Give us your money by spending half of it on the entrance, some more on maps, and the rest on our bargain $20 umbrellas, which you will buy no matter the cost because little princess doesn't want to get wet!
Speaking of wet, we have a brand new pool complex: Pool Complex 1! Featuring Body Slides 1, 2, 3 ,4 and 5, and a Titanic Inflatable ship, as well as violent waves that last for really long and have short breaks in between in our poorly sanitised, freshwater pool! There's no lifeguards, so you better hope your fat ass can swim, float or the other morons in this piece of shit park can save you!
Once you're done swimming, and riding rollercoasters, you may want to use the toilet. No problem, you can relieve yourself for only $10! You can also piss in a bush, the pool or your pants, pick one. Want to eat? Great, just eat at Burgers 1, 2, 3, and 4, which sells burgers with no cheese, sauce, lettuce, but a whole heap of pickles! Only $10. Also try our famous 'Urineade', 'Aborted Fetuses', and 'Dick Cheese' establishments. MMMMMMMMMMMMM DELICIOUS!
Do you want to see animals, well look at the park guests, the seagulls and sparrows that swoop everyone, and our well looked after, well fed, happy, healthy, and ethically treated* animals!
Pay attention to our happy, well paid, and voluntary** staff members, who will help you at any time with anything really, including dating advice, how to tie a noose, how to hijack and fly a Boeing 767, and how to get away with murder!***
Once you're done with that, you have done everything you can at Sandbox, except give us more money!
Now opening nearby, 'Death Park', where our rides and food are very safe! The name is just the theme, trust us!
Now get your lazy, fat, no good, stinking asses of your couch, brush yourselves off and head on down to Sandbox or else we'll rip your nuts off!
*According to EPA, PETA, RSPCA, and other organisations, our animals are ''Neglected, starved, unhappy, unhealthy, and are abused and forced to perform.'', but what would those fuckers know, especially PETA?
**According to several organisations and unions, our staff are ''Suicidally depressed, not paid at all, overworked and were forced into working. Which makes them slaves.'', pffft! FAKE NEWS!
***According to reviews, our staff are ''Very rude, unhelpful, regularly assault and abuse guests, give garbage dating advice as they are all virgins. But do give great advice on tying nooses, hijacking 767's, and getting away with murder!'', which is all fake news as well, and they are paid by haters. But the last part is true, they are very good at giving advice on tying nooses, hijacking 767's and getting away with murder.
Come today, leave a good review and give us your money! Or else you will be found dead, from apparent suicide via. 2 bullets to the back of the head!
That wraps up this epic advert. Please help me.
Until next time, goodbye.