(This is a work of fan fiction. The Haunted Mansion, and all its characters.. except Megan, belong to the Disney Corporation.)
It had been five days since the Ghost Host had very carefully told Miss Megan that her prized vacation would be spent within the confines of the Haunted Mansion. A cast member had tested positive for measles, and there was a quarantine in place for at least the next two weeks.
Hostie was dreading the encounter, but when Megan made for the front door, a beach hat on her head, and a jaunty surfboard tote slung over her shoulder; he knew he had to do it.
As soon as he stood between her and the door, she narrowed her eyes, and squared her shoulders.
"Megan, how nice you look," he offered awkwardly.
"What did you do?" she said sweetly, as only a Southern girl can.
He loosened the noose around his neck with two fingers. "Well, nothing," he said, as though he'd been scolded.
He suddenly remembered the importance of his message. "I have good news, and bad news," he smiled
Megan sat her tote on the floor, and took off her hat. "Good news first, please."
Hosty clasped his hands together enthusiastically, "Your paid vacation has been approved. You can start now."
Megan folded her arms. She stared at him like Master Graceys pug, Miss Fussypants, when she knew very well you hadn't really thrown that ball.
"The OTHER news?" she said, quietly.
Ghost Host backed up a little, and shot out the words machine gun style. "Acastmemberhadmeasles,andyouhavetospendyourvacationhereatthemansion."
Megan scanned the horizon with unseeing eyes.
"But you have full use of the graveyard facilities !" Ghost Host piped.
"Oh, the WHOLE graveyard?" Megan suddenly chimed.
Ghost Host smiled broadly. He should have known better.
"Because , you know, that's something...THAT I NEVER FREAKING WANTED !" Megan yelled, pulling the hat low on her head, clutching her bag, and stomping up the stairs to her room.
Hosty waited to hear her door slam. Things had gone better than he'd imagined.
At midnight that same night, Ezra had made his seventh 'just happened to be in the neighborhood ' pass in front of Megans closed door. She had stopped playing her vintage jazz records over an hour ago, and when he got close enough to the door, he couldn't hear any sounds of crying...but he knew she wasn't o.k. His natural instinct was to do something goofy to cheer her up, but he knew that her spoiled vacation was a big letdown for her..
..and he felt kinda helpless. .and kinda useless.
He shuffled across the hallway, and stared at the wallpaper. The wallpaper stared back at him
..then one of its boney claws jabbed at a space in back of him.
He turned to find Megan standing almost toe to toe with him wearing a very short Hannibal Lecter Hello Kitty sleepshirt . Her eyes were red, and her hair was a mess.
"You're gorgeous. .you know that, Kid ?" Ezra murmured.
Megan got hold of his lapels, and pulled him down. When Megan pulled on one lapel, he was going to 'get told' about something. When she pulled on both, it was 'Come here, Bad Boy, and bring those lips with you '.
He preferred the second one , and this time he was ready, and manifested lips so she wouldn't end up kissing his teeth again.
It was a prolonged, soft kiss that both of them needed.
When she laid her head against his chest, he held her a little tighter, laying his head atop hers.
"Could be worse, Doll," he said quietly. "You could be stuck in some weird place where ya didn't know anybody."
Megan started to reply, then checked herself, as the wallpaper outside of the bedrooms was known to be a notorious gossip. "Would you like to rephrase that?" she asked instead.
Ezra puzzled for a moment. He'd been a ghost for so long, he genuinely didn't understand, so he took a different tact.
"I know this place is no Stanley Hotel, or Winchester House.." he started.
Megan leaned back a bit, and stared.
"What?" he asked.
"Notice a common thread here ?" said Megan.
"Yea, Honey.. they're both fantastic vacation spots," Ezra said.
...Aaaand he still didn't get it. Megans grin was unnerving him. He eased her head back onto his chest, and rubbed her back. "And anyway, this is a big place.. I'm sure when we need our 'alone time', something can be arranged."
Megan leaned way back. "Are we talking about a vacation, or an extended dirty weekend?"
Ezras derby slid down on his forehead, and his grin was threatening to overtake his ears. Megan grinned devilishly. He wanted to give her bottom a little pat, but it was early days in their relationship.
They looked to each other knowingly.
"You know what?" she purred.
"What, Doll?" he said , leaning in.
"Waffles," she whispered onto his lips, as she eased herself out of his arms.
Waffles were Megans feel good food ..in good times, and bad.. brownie waffles, cherry cream cheese waffles.. and the Olympus ..Belgium waffles with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.
He pushed his derby forward, enjoying the gentle sway of her hips, as she headed down the hallway. Hosty wasn't the only swinger in the house he mused , as he followed after her.
Phineus was used to the drill, and had things well underway in the kitchen by the time Megan got there. Gus was sitting on the counter enjoying the fruits of his labors in his own unique way..
..a bite of waffle, and a swig of pancake syrup straight from the bottle.
"Gus, you're going to be bouncing off the walls with all that sugar," Megan sighed. When she walked over to Phineus, he handed her a fresh waffle with strawberries and whipped cream.
She accepted it as though it was the holy grail. "I love you, and I want to have your spooky little babies," she said giving him a soft peck on the lips.
"Hey..hey," said Ezra in mock consternation. He was sitting at the kitchen table perusing the latest racing form. Megan leaned back against the counter next to Gus, savoring her first sweet bite.
"Gus, I wouldn't be waving that pancake syrup around, you know we have.." started Phineus.
And almost on cue, a three inch long Ripper Hornet flew into the kitchen, attracted by the sweet smells.
Megan slipped her waffle onto a nearby counter, and scrambled up in back of an unconcerned Gus.
"He's more afraid of you.. " Gus said.
"No , he's not!" piped Megan.
"You've got our pictures on your underpants," grinned Ezra, suddenly interested.
"Just you never mind!" said Megan, pulling at her nightshirt. She put two fingers in her mouth, and whistled loudly down the hall. "Jeb! Goodboy ! Come here!"
A hairy, two foot tall spider suddenly scampered happily down the hall, and into the carefully studied the situation, then with one great leap, dispatched the offending insect. Then, he rolled over on his back for his belly rubs Megan climbed down carefully, and cooed at the spider as she scritched his belly. "Hoosagooboy? Jeb is the best boy !" Two of the spiders legs kicked with pleasure as she hit his sweet spot. "Ok, off you go, Baby," Megan smiled. The spider lowered the front of its body, and raised its bottom, wagging happily before scampering back down the hallway to its web.
"When did that spider decide he was a cocker spaniel? ," asked Phineus.
"When Megan started treating him like one," Ezra replied, his eyes never leaving the racing form.
Megan retrieved her waffle, and pulled out a chair at table opposite him. She settled in to savor her prize.
"You an' me are gonna have to have a little talk about copyright infringement, Doll," Ezra murmured to her. "Can't have my face all over your underpants ."
"Don't you start with me," Megan warned. "I have friends on the web."
Gus snorted, and got pancake syrup up his nose . Phineus rolled his eyes,
It was a good night. .just like normal.