A good story should be like a good cocktail combining two things that you love in order to give a warm feeling in the stomach. I have combined rocky horror and wrestling .
So what happens when a busload of unsuspecting wrestlers end up at an old castle in the middle of the night. The sequel crossover to end all sequel crossovers.
Madame Bloodbathe: "you know there's something wrong when you hear the driver say, "oh oh we're fucked!"."
"Oh oh. We're fucked." Austin announced looking at the buses engine. "SHUT UP!!"
The entire busload of tired wrestlers groaned. Kane got out and walked to the side to make it look like he was helping.
"Do we know what's wrong?" Kane touched the engine with his bare hand. 'Sssssss' "god damn that's hot."
Austin looked at him funny, "get your big red dumbass back on that bus."
Kane got on and looked around, it was barely a bus more of an econovan. There were only 14 seats on the bus but only 7 wrestlers had actually gone to the wedding.
Lita got off the bus now. "How long will it take to fix." Only Austin's legs could be seen and a muffled, "get on the bus and shut up!" was heard in the eerie darkness of the twilight.
"Well it could be worse." She said.
Austin pulled himself out from under the bus, "oh yeah? How's that?"
Lita shrugged, "it could be raining."
"You know what," Lita rubbed her hands nervously, "I'm going to get back on the bus."
"You know what?"
"shut up and get back on the bus!"
"Grumpy!" Lita spat before running back on the bus.
She stalked past Victoria, The Hurricane and Steven Richards to the seat she was sharing with Matt. Kane was in the front seat (next to the drivers seat the driver being Austin now under the bus) fiddling with several books of maps.
He turned to face the rest of the bus, "does anyone know what road we turned off? Hey stop that!"
No one was paying attention to him. Matt and Lita were on the back seat and they were busy. Steven Richards had the seat in front of them, he was holding The Hurricane still (on the seat in front of him) and Victoria (on the seat in front of him) was giving The Hurricane a nipple cripple. Austin was still under the bus. The Hurricane nodded his thanks to Kane and crossed his arms over his chest. A sudden crash of thunder caused Victoria to vacate her seat and land on Steven Richards' lap. The Hurricane chose this opportunity to sit on her seat and talk to Kane.
"You know I think we passed a castle a little while back." He said snatching one of the maps, "well I thought we did but it's not on any map."
Kane swatted at him, "I'm aware of that. If you're such a superhero, go help Austin."
Hurricane slumped in his seat and pouted, "he doesn't want my help."
Kane looked at The Hurricane and shook his head, "bright green hair and a tux."
"What?" Hurricane looked up.
"Nothing, nothing. Look I'm sure Steve wants your help and Frankly the sooner he gets it, the sooner we'll all be back at the hotel. " Kane opened the window, "I'll prove it. HEY STEVE…"
"I DON'T NEED ANY HELP FROM ANY CAPE WEARIN', FACE PAINTING SON OF A…"
Kane closed the window and looked back at the triumphant face of The Hurricane. "You shouldn't be proud that no one wants your help."
Hurricane opened his mouth to reply but stopped when he realized that Kane was right.
Steven Richards was looking at the rain and the lightening. Victoria was rocking back and forth holding her title and repeating, "it's mine, mine," every couple of seconds.
"You shouldn't rock like that. It'll cause a build up of static electricity and you'll get struck by lightening the instant you get off the bus." Steven said trying to hold her still but only succeeding in getting bitten … twice.
Lita looked up mid-pash, "is that true?"
"Not even close," Matt leaned back to look at her face, "in fact the only one who should be worried about lightening is Steve. I mean look he's got steel capped boots, steel buttons on his shorts, that brass buckle, thick chains around his neck and he's waving that massive wrench around like a magic wand. Don't worry if anyone's gonna get struck by lightening it's him."
Madame Bloodbathe: the words were scarcely out of his mouth when…
Austin stood stock-still. His eyebrows went up in flames, his body had at least 40,000 volts coursing through it. So as you can imagine he was definitely not happy. Plus he was unconscious which meant when he woke up he was going to be pissed. The busload looked at each other. Now was looking like a really good time to move away from the bus.
The Hurricane read everyone's minds.
"You want to go into the middle of a lightening storm. What's up with that?"
Steven Richards spoke up, "what other choice do we have?"
"Stay with the bus until someone comes to rescue us?" Matt voiced.
"Yeah sure then we can freeze to death." Victoria muttered.
Lita looked out of the windows, "not with those thighs."
Another bolt of lightening stopped the fight before it began.
Kane stuck his head out of the window. "It looks like it's just going to get heavier."
Victoria turned around and grabbed a handful of hair… Matt's hair.
Matt pushed her away, "it wasn't me."
Lita was watching the sky, "not me either."
Victoria scowled at The Hurricane.
The door opened into the night and The Hurricane was off like a shot from a gun.
Victoria close behind him, Steven Richards on her trail. Lita and Matt two gig wide behind him.
Kane watched them run off into the pouring rain, he put Austin's charcoaled body on the bus and locked it. He was about to walk across the road when about 40 bikers came out of nowhere. They surrounded the bus and rode off into the distance. Kane couldn't help but notice the unusual emblem on the back of some of their jackets. A black circle with a silver lightening bolt cutting through it.
The thunder crackled and The Hurricane's howl indicated not only the general direction of the group but also that Victoria had caught him.
Madame Bloodbathe: and so it came to pass on that eventful night that an unsuspecting busload of wrestlers found them selves stranded in the middle of an electric storm with no shelter, no direction and no holds barred.
"I'LL KILL HIM!" Victoria yelled.
The Hurricane had climbed into a large tree by the time Kane had arrived. Matt and Lita were nowhere to be seen (and that was probably very fortunate), Steven Richards was sitting at the foot of the tree playing with the grass while Victoria scaled it. The Hurricane was sitting at the top howling for someone to come and rescue him. The Hurricane could climb no further when he started jumping up and down and pointing and yelling.
"It's the castle, it's the castle. I told you so. Oh my god she's got my foot!!"
Kane looked up at The Hurricane who had just realized that it was Kane that had hold of his foot. He sheepishly climbed down. The saturated bunch walked towards the castle.
It had a crooked sign hanging off the cast-iron gates. "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK."
Matt was in the lead. He scoffed at the sign and walked on.
The grounds of the castle were huge. Although they had been rather shabbily kept and were now over grown. The castle itself with its pointed towers, crude stone gargoyles and lead-light windows looked like something out of nightmares. There was a dome on the roof glowing eerily, the same pale blue as the lightening.
"Wait! Can anyone else hear that?" Lita stopped.
Victoria stood toe-to-toe with her, "what's wrong now? I'm sick to death of your whining."
Lita sidestepped her and put her hand up to her ear, "listen. Someone's singing."
It was deathly quiet. Until the air was filled with the rumble of Harleys.
"The only singing I can hear is the singing of someone's engine." Kane said patting her on the head and messing up her hair.
The forty or so motorbikes that had circled the bus now ripped up the castle gardens and rode over the steps past the front door to park beside it.
Steven Richards cringed one of the motorbikes had driven over his foot and he was starting to get the feeling back in it. "Do we really want to go in there?"
Kane plonked a hand on Steven's shoulder, "we're cold, we're wet and we're tired. Do you deny us lack of moisture, warmth and the chance to sit down?"
When Richards didn't answer Kane put his other hand on his head and shook it.
"Good to hear."
For twenty minutes the wrestlers stood frozen at the mighty oaken door. After a lengthy silence The Hurricane opened his trap with a sense of exhaustion and dread. "Should someone knock?"
The silence gave no answer so he took that as a yes.
He knocked and a little while later the door opened and a short man leaned out. His hair was sparse and blonde. His skin was pale and had the luster of a freshly exhumed corpse. His dark eyes twinkled with a slight spark of life not yet extinguished. He stepped out a little more and he revealed an old and worn suit and a hunch on his back.
No one was sure what to do. They were all aware that this was very strange and unusually familiar.
The Hurricane leapt forward, "I'm The Hurricane and this is Kane and Lita and…"
Kane put The Hurricane in a headlock, "um sorry this is Shane he's mentally ill. I'm Glen. This is Matt, Amy, Victoria and Steven. Our bus broke down a little way down the road. Do you have a phone we could use?"
The little man looked at them, "you're wet."
Victoria looked him dead in the eye, "yeah, it's raining." She looked at Steven who shrugged.
A flash of lightening lit up the motorbikes by the side of the door.
The little man leant out of the frame a little more, "I think perhaps you'd better all come inside."
Noiselessly the wrestlers walked inside and looked around. It looked like a lodge. A really, really strange one. The place was falling apart, there were plaques on the walls with cats and dogs and other relatively domestic animals on them. There was an elevator shaft in the middle of the room. The carpet was a dark red but it was black around the edges with mould. A casket shaped clock with a skull in the face was leaning by the framed 'American gothic' picture. Strange music could be heard playing. Kane had noticed some odd shape on the stair banister but decided it was his job to keep everyone calm,
"So you're having a party?"
The little man turned around and looked first at the banister then up at Kane, "you've arrived on a rather special night." He laughed, "it's one of the masters affairs."
The Hurricane still in Kane's headlock looked down on the little man. "*cough* lucky him." He croaked.
"You're lucky, he's lucky I'm lucky." A woman appeared out of the shape on the banister. She threw one leg over the railing and slid down, "We're all lucky. Ha ha ha."
She threw her feather duster to the little man and came into the light. She was about his height with frizzy auburn hair. Her face was powdered white and she had heavy dark eye make-up. Her lipstick was bright red and she was wearing a black dress with a white collar and white apron.
The strange man began to sing, "it's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness takes its toll."
Victoria leaned towards Steven Richards, "what's astounding is that she's the maid and that this house is a mess."
The strange man was in front of her, "but listen closely!"
Victoria panicked and turned away but the woman was there blocking her escape,
"Not for very much longer."
Victoria and Steven Richards turned back to face the strange little man.
"I've got to keep control. I remember doing the time warp." He sung running around the elevator shaft.
The woman was slowly walking towards a set of double doors behind the elevator shaft. The man carried on, "drinking those moments when, the blackness would hit me."
He ran behind the confused group and joined hands with the auburn-haired woman. Together they rounded up the wrestlers and herded them through the doors singing,
"And the void would be calling."
The wrestlers with nowhere else to go burst through the double doors and were momentarily blinded by the light in the pale blue hall. The stage curtains were drawn and the strip of red carpet on the floor led to a silver chair on the stage steps. There was a jukebox against one wall and a table of food against the other. The hall was filled with all kinds of different people (some fat, some thin, some tall, some short etc.).
As soon as the door had opened the whole room burst into song.
"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"
The Hurricane stepped forward to look at the food table and was offered a strange looking pastry by a strange looking man. He politely declined and stepped back towards everyone else.
"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"
The people just stood there watching the wrestlers at the door. The strange woman danced around them while the blonde man circled them on the other side. Music filled the room and the unusual people all danced according to it's instruction.
Madame Bloodbathe: it's just a jump to the left.
"And then a step to the right."
Madame Bloodbathe: with your hands on your hips.
"You bring your knees in tight but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN. LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN."
The woman circled the food table and ran behind the arch. "It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me! So you can't see me. No, not at all!" She bent down so that her chin was resting on the bottom of the arch behind the arch behind the food table, "in another dimension with voyeuristic intention, well secluded I see all."
The strange man walked forward so that he had passed everyone and was standing at the end of the food table, "with a bit of a mind flip."
The woman was up on the arch and was walking down the food table, "you're into the time slip."
The man took her hands and helped her down, "and nothing can ever be the same."
"You're spaced out on sensation."
The man was standing next to Matt Hardy and he suddenly yelled causing Matt to jump, "like you're under sedation."
The room exploded into song again, "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"
A tall woman with a bright red burn on her chest, bright pink hair on her head and a gold glittered jacket was sitting on the jukebox, everyone in the room turned to look at her. In a high squeaky voice she started singing.
"Well, I was walking down the street, just having a …FRANK!" she squealed in delight.
Next to Kane stood a man. At least they thought he was a man.
'Frank' stood wearing 6 inch silver and black heels, black hipster undies, a black garter belt, sheer black thigh high stockings, a string of thick white pearls and a vest-corset in black. He had black armbands and heavy black eye make-up. His black hair was fuzzy and he had bright red lipstick.
The music stopped abruptly.
Matt and Kane realized what was standing next to them and they awkwardly stepped away.
"RIFF RAFF!" Frank called and the strange little man hobbled forward. "Go and scrape Rocky out of the pool."
Riff Raff walked slowly to the back of the room stopping momentarily to grasp the hand of the auburn haired woman, then continuing through the curtains. A loud splash and a curse was heard.
Frank sneered, "Magenta. Columbia. Go and assist Riff Raff."
Columbia clasped her hands together, with a big smile and tap danced across the room to behind the curtain. Magenta glared at Frank, he glared back she spat at him and walked off with her head held high.
Frank turned to the wrestlers, "how do you do? I see you've met my…" he paused and glared behind himself at the curtain.
"servants." He hissed.
Steven Richards looked him up and down, "nice clothes!"
Frank looked down at himself.
"Do you think so? They're standard issue for transsexual royalty. I'm more partial to red myself." He said touching Lita's hair.
Matt wrenched Franks hand away and pointed it in a more suitable direction, "this is Victoria."
Frank took her hand and kissed it, "enchanté."
Victoria pulled Franks hand back and bit into his wrist. Frank yelped loudly.
Kane cleared his throat. "Who's rocky?" he asked watching Riff Raff hauling a body bag twice his size away.
Riff Raff had obviously gone into the pool to retrieve the body. He was dripping onto the floor and slipping in his own puddles.
Frank tripped him and he fell.
"You idiot." Frank kicked him hard in the ribs.
Columbia and Magenta came forward to help him.
Frank stepped between them, "no! Let him do it alone. After all he alone pulled the trigger that would of killed me had rocky not dragged me from the pool after the castle blasted off."
Frank turned and a raw burn in between his shoulder blades showed that he had been shot but the question was with what?
Magenta sidestepped Frank and rolled the body bag of Riff Raff, assisting him in climbing to his feet. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and smiled.
This action infuriated Frank, who shoved the body bag on Riff Raff, backhanded Magenta and pushed Riff Raff from the room. Frank locked the doors and turned his back to Magenta on the floor and Columbia helping her up.
"Let us have no more dissension." He smirked over his shoulder to them. Then turned to face the wrestlers, "any queries?"
The Hurricane put his hand up, "where did everyone else go?"
Steven Richards also put up his hand, "what happened to your back?"
Frank looked at The Hurricane puzzled, "everyone else?" he looked around the room was bare. He received his vision and his face lit up, "the lab of course."
Kane was chewing on his lip, "of course… can we use your phone? Our bus broke down and…"
Frank ignored Kane and walked over to the elevator, "come up to the lab and see what's on the slab… again." The elevator went up.
The Hurricane, Steven Richards, Matt Hardy, Victoria and Lita ran for the elevator.
Kane rubbed his forehead, "GUYS! Come on a little common sense please. We're not all going to fit in there at the same time."
"I call the next ride up." Yelled Steven Richards wrapping his arms around Victoria's waist. She ripped chucks out of his hair, "me too."
Columbia looked at Magenta, "at least they're more normal than the last two."
Magenta stripped them both before the elevator came back down.
Steven in his boxers and Victoria in bra and bikini briefs stood in the elevator with Columbia. The elevator rose from sight.
Magenta turned, "who's next?"
Matt and Lita pointed to Kane and The Hurricane.
Kane looked at The Hurricane and shrugged, "yeah sure."
Columbia came down with the elevator, this time The Hurricane in his boxer-briefs and Kane in his long-johns were sent up.
"How long have you been here as a servant?" Lita asked while Magenta stripped her of her trousers.
Magenta cringed, "I am not a servant, I am a domestic. I can leave anytime I choose."
Matt in his briefs stepped forward, "she didn't mean anything by it. We were just wondering why you and your boyfriend stayed here if Frank was so cruel to you both?"
Magenta kicked the clothes out of the way and walked to the empty elevator laughing, "Riff Raff is not my boyfriend. He's my brother."
Matt and Lita avoided eye contact with her. They walked into the elevator and were conveyed skyward.
The first thing that struck them as the elevator arrived in the lab was that the lab tiles were pink, the color, to be exact, of ham. Like those cheesy cheap hotel bathrooms sometimes.
The next thing was that it was deathly quiet, despite the ramps and the ledge being covered by the people that had been dancing in the hall previously.
The third that they were in their under things.
Riff Raff was handing out white coats to the wrestlers.
"Well, how nice. What charming underclothes you all have." Frank announced loudly to everyone. He stepped between Matt and Lita. He was now wearing a green surgeon's gown over his devilish attire. Frank turned to Matt, "do you have any tattoo's Matt?"
Matt looked at him in semi-horror, "absolutely not!"
"Oh well," Frank turned to Lita, "how about you? Oh my!" he stood mesmerized by her arm tattoo.
Victoria knocked him aside, "it's hideous. Isn't it."
Frank pushed her back (not half as hard), "oh contrare. It's marvelous."
Matt was seething, "have you met The Hurricane? He has a tattoo as well." The Hurricane found himself shoved into Franks face.
Frank pushed him away. The lab contained a microphone and stage, Two statues of michelangelo's David, a giant freezer and something covered by a red cloth.
It was really cold in the lab so the wrestlers stood close together. Riff Raff by all logic should have been freezing and maybe he was but he didn't show it. "we await your command master." He hobbled back to the stage where Magenta and Columbia were standing in white aprons and surgical masks.
Frank ascended the stage and stood at the microphone.
"my unconventional conventionalists. To night I hope to right a wrong. It was mere days ago that you witnessed my creation rocky's birth. It was only 8 hours later that my dear creation saved my life. "
the wrestler's looked at each other in confusion. Riff Raff and Magenta looked at each other in panic.
"I am still alive, because of rocky and of course, Columbia who tried to protect me and gave her own life. Which brings me to the culprit."
Frank turned to one side, "Riff Raff, how is it that Columbia is still alive? If I remember correctly you shot her with a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter. You fool! you didn't wait long enough for your pathetic invention to recharge! Your pathetic laser merely stunned me. I floated in the pool until rocky pulled me to the side. With his last ounce of strength he threw me onto the stage and there I regained my composure. But sadly he did not have the same luck."
The wrestler's became aware of mutterings above them. The people on the ledge were clearly not very pleased.
Riff Raff was looking very nervous. He was sweating profusely and fidgeting with his pockets.
Frank pointed at Riff Raff and closed his eyes, "you will recreate rocky for me and then you will be taken back to transsexual."
Riff Raff heaved a sigh of relief.
Frank smiled, "where you will be executed. Not for the crime of treason but on the grounds of…"
Riff Raff looked at the trannies on the ledge he knew that all of his scientific work would be discredited and his Magenta would fall from grace before their execution if Frank revealed the secret that he (Riff Raff) and Magenta had worked so hard to hide.
Frank was aware of what would happen to Riff Raff. He also knew that Magenta would be killed to protect their family honor.
He smiled as he met Magenta's eyes and pronounced it slowly, "wearing inferior quality fish-net stockings."
Madame bloodbathe: oh no what will they do? Will the wrestlers ever get back to their hotel? Has austin woken up? Was Riff Raff wearing inferior fish-nets on that near fatal night?
To be continued…