Disclaimer: Don't own, don't ask.

Warnings: Ficlet, 1+2, 3+4, RFO, parody


COM-link Conversations by Maaya


Relena Peacecraft/Darlian, the girl who once owned the title as 'The Queen of the World' looked indignantly at her helper and mentor, tapping her fingers against the small, metal table. "Why am I not supposed to be listening if everyone else is going to, Miss Noin?"

The older woman tried to ignore the feeling she got of that she was arguing with a teenage girl who wanted to go to a concert somewhere, and rubbed her eyes tiredly. They had been arguing about this point for over an hour and she had been shown a completely new side of the young Peacecraft daughter; the stubborn side. "Miss, you are a pacifist, in the name of both Darlian and Peacecraft now. They won't know that you are listening as little as they'll know that *anyone* is and will certainly not change their speaking- pattern because of that."

The indignant look changed into a deep frown. "It'll help me to understand others' ideals, am I not right?"

One bypassing officer had, as many others, stopped to listen at the argument with curious expressions and he could finally not hold his opinion for himself any longer. "God dammnit Noin!" He watched in amusement as Relena blushed at the 'bad word' and continued. "Let her listen if she wants! It might as well be good for her."

Several of the others nodded their approval and their commanding officer frowned, a frown very akin to Relena's. "Very well . . . but I don't have to like it."

Relena's face smoothed and she smiled very sweetly at Noin. "Thank you so much, Miss."

Noin was sure there was something mocking in that smile.

"It's time!" The same officer who had expressed his opinion in the 'listening-matter' spoke up and pushed a button in the control-panel. He turned and grinned at the group behind him, mischievously. "Ready to hear what the gundam-pilots are talking about during a fight?"

Most people ignored the question but some nodded thoughtfully. Then it broke loose. Relena was thrilled to hear Heero's voice echoing in the room from the speakers.

"01 - Now.."


"04 - Everyone, take care."

"Yeah, yeah, let's go."

"03 to 04, you too, Quatre."

"Thanks, Trowa."

"Stop the sap guys - I don't have enough money to visit a dentist."

There was a pause before the occupants in the small room could hear Wufei's annoyed voice.

"05 to 02, use your code number while speaking."

"What? Are you afraid to mistake me for Trowa or something?"

Four sighs was heard in unison, as well as three voices. "Baka."


Pause. Then.

"It was not meant as a compliment."

"Could have fooled me. . ."

Noin let out something that was suspiciously akin to a snicker and shook hear head in amusement.

"02 - I need a little help here."

"04 to 05 - Help Duo."

"You mean 02."

There was another sigh, from Heero this time. "01 to 05 - Just help him."

"05 - Accepted."

Several explosions together with shouts of rage were the only things they could hear for a moment, until a calm voice mixed together with the raging sounds around him.

"Hey, Heero? Have you seen 'The Matrix'? Ouch, you fucking OZ-bastard!"

Another loud explosion.

Relena got a little paler than usual.

"Don't think so."

A new voice mixed together with Duo's and Heero's. "The Matrix? I love it! Have you seen 'Reloaded'?"

"Didn't think you were an action-fan, Q."

"You shouldn't assume things about me, Duo."

"The Matrix? It sucks."

"Who asked for your opinion, Wu?"

"The fights are too unreal and the actors don't even know kung fu."

"It's supposed to be unreal; they are in 'The Matrix' after all, Mr-I-do- this-at-home.'"


"03 - I'm running out of ammo. . ."

"02 - Tell us something we didn't already knew, Tro. Anyway, I'll come and help you."

"04 - I'll do it instead."

"I said, quit the sap!"

"Go and help your boyfriend instead."

"That was really low, Quatre."

"01 - Get your ass over here and help me instead of chattering."

"Coming, honey!"

Relena got another shade whiter.

There was another long pause during which none of the pilots spoke. Then:

"Have you guys ever thought about how stupid we must sound?"

Noin reached out and pushed another button on the control-panel, and the link broke, leaving the group in the room staring at each other quietly. "Well, that was strange."

The others nodded their agreements.


The End