Total Drama Island Recast

Chapter 1: Not-So-Happy Campers

"Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario!" A thirty-year-old man said to the camera. He had wavy black hair, beady eyes, and was dressed as a camp counselor. "I'm your host, Chris McLean! Dropping Season One of the hottest new reality show on television, right now!" Chris walked along a pier, still talking to the camera.

"Here's the deal: Twenty-four teens have signed up to spend eight weeks at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, and then face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every two days or so, one team will win a reward while the other will watch one of their members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Loser Boat, and then leave Total Drama Island for good!"

The scene switched to show Chris at a campfire pit.

"Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic Campfire Ceremony, where every three days, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow." Chris grabbed a stick with an untoasted marshmallow speared onto the end and ate the sugary treat. "In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune that, let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and each other. Every single moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp and island." The scene then switched back to Chris on the dock again.

"Who will crumble under the pressure? Who will make it through to the end? Find out here, right now, on TOTAL… DRAMA… ISLAND!"

And then the show's intro played. Two spotlights and two cameras popped out of the grass and trees, the last two knocking down a beaver and a squirrel. Then a clapperboard clamped down, and the camera moved throughout the camp, passing Topher who greeted the camera before being pushed aside by Chris. The camera climbed to the top of the cliff and humped down into the water where Cameron was seen drowning. He is rescued by B in a canoe with a mechanical fishing pole that turns out to be too powerful. Cameron is flung into the woods. Brick and Jo are seen hitting a punching bag, each trying to outdo each other. The camera pans to the left to reveal Dawn meditating on a rock with a multitude of birds and rodents. The camera goes forward through the woods to find Amy and Sammy floating down the river in a raft. They were too busy slap-fighting to notice that they were headed for a waterfall until it was too late. Below them are Sky and Lightning dueling on a log bridge. Jasmine is on the other side of the bridge and she catches Sammy by the back of her shirt and Amy by her ankle. Sammy smiles gratefully while Amy groans. The bridge collapses and Scott is seen by an outhouse laughing at the five as they fall into the water. The camera goes into the mess hall where Chef Hatchet is cooking something horrible for Shawn and Dave who are both tied up and looking very worried. To their right are Max and Scarlett who are having a Rubik's Cube race. Scarlett wins before Max even gets one side right. The camera moves out the window and over to the beach where Ella is singing and dancing, much to Sugar's annoyance. Sugar shoves Ella to the ground and is attacked by Ella's animal friends. On the Dock of Shame, Sam is playing on his GameGuy until it's snatched away by a sasquatch. Sam tries to take it back but to no avail. Dakota then grabs the camera and moves it over to her, where she kisses the lens, leaving a pink lipstick stain. An intern briefly appears to wipe it off. Dakota begins posing and blowing kisses. The scene cuts to nighttime. Mike and Zoey are holding hands and smiling at each other, sitting by the campfire. Anne Maria pops up in front of Mike with a flirtatious look on her face, while Rodney walks up to Zoey with a bouquet of flowers. Mike and Zoey sit uncomfortably. The camera then zooms out, and the rest of the campers are seen gathered in a circle around the fire while whistling the tune of "I Wanna Be Famous!" A wooden sign with "Total Drama Island" painted onto it is then seen, and the words flash briefly before the screen fades out.

After the theme song played, we once again see Chris at the dock.

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island! It's time to meet our campers! We told them all that they'd be staying at a five-star resort. So if any of 'em seem a little pissed off, that'd probably be why." Chris told the audience with a mischievous grin.

A large speedboat pulled up to the dock and dropped off a girl with rose lips, ebony hair, and the whitest skin Chris had ever seen. She had a hairband bow in her hair and wore a skirt and a blouse that looked like a pink version of Cinderella's dress.

"Ella! What's up?" Chris greeted. The snow-white girl, with a delighted expression, tip-toed her way over to Chris like a ballerina.

"Why, Christopher! It is just wonderful to finally meet you in person!" Ella exclaimed. "I even had a song prepared for this moment! Ah-ah-ah-ah!" she began to warm up her vocal cords before Chris gently covered her mouth.

"Uh, maybe later, Ella." Chris said awkwardly. "We still have twenty-three more campers to introduce. Go to the other end of the dock and wait for your fellow competitors."

"Of course." said Ella, nodding obediently.

Another speedboat approached the dock and dropped off a large boy with beady eyes like Chris's, short red hair, and a gap in his teeth. He wore a white shirt and blue overalls. With a smile on his freckly face, he slowly lumbered over to Chris.

"Rodney!" Chris greeted.

"Hi, Chris! How's it going?!" Rodney and Chris high-fived each other. Then the big guy turned to look at the campground, a puzzled look coming over his face. "So, uh, where's the hot tub?"

"You'll have to build one yourself, man!" Chris replied.

"You sure we're in the right place?"

"Yeah, man! This is it! Camp Wawanakwa!" Rodney, looking slightly miffed, grabbed his luggage, and went to join Ella on the other end of the dock.

"This isn't what I was expecting…" he muttered.

The next camper to arrive was a girl with hair so red, it would put Ron Weasley to shame. From the back, her head looked like a giant cherry. She had this hair tied into two short pigtails and had a pink flower decorating it. She wore a red tank top to match her hair and gray pants.

"Hey, Zoey!" Chris called. Zoey looked around the campground, awe in her innocent eyes.

"Hey, Chris! So this is where we're staying?" she asked, happy but confused.

"No, this is where you're staying!" Chris corrected. "My crib is an airstream with AC, thataway."

"Aw…" Zoey moaned. But the resort wasn't what the girl was looking forward to the most. She looked at Rodney and Ella. Something seemed a bit off about them, but don't judge a book by its cover, she thought. If they weren't so great, there'd be plenty more competitors to make friends out of.

The next speedboat pulled up and dropped off a handsome boy with bronze hair. His clothes were colored the same as Chris's: a turquoise long-sleeved shirt over a white button-up shirt, and brown pants.

"Well, well, well, Chris McLean!" he cheered. "It's an honor to finally meet you!" The boy bowed as though Chris were a prince.

"Topher! Thanks for that!" said Chris, looking flattered. He held up his fist and Topher bumped it.

"So, a summer camp? Awesome fake-out, man! I should let you know, I am your biggest fan!"

"You got good taste, kid! Welcome to the Island!" Chris and Topher shook hands, but Chris had to yank his hand away after five seconds. He then pointed to the other end of the dock with his thumb. Topher got the hint and joined the others just in time for the next boat.

"Everyone, this is Dakota!" Chris introduced a glamorous-looking girl with long white-blond hair. She wore a pink top, magenta jeans, white shoes, and sunglasses.

"Hey there!" Dakota called into the nearest camera, ignoring the other campers, and then she giggled. "Dakota here! Future reality megastar, fashion model, and eventually award-winning movie actress! I'm here to-" Dakota suddenly stopped, took off her sunglasses to reveal emerald-green eyes, and looked at the campground. "Wait a minute! I thought we'd be staying at a resort, not some dirty camp!"

"You thought wrong, sweetie." Chris quipped.

"What? That is so, like, false advertising! I'm calling Daddy! I'm not staying here!" Dakota whipped out a cell phone.

"Oh yes, you are!" Chris said, holding up a stack of paper. This was clearly Dakota's contract.

"Oh yeah?" Dakota retorted. She flipped her phone shut, strode over to Chris, yanked the contact from his hand and threw it in the lake. Chris thought the gesture was awfully cute.

"The great thing about lawyers is, they make lots of copies!" Chris held up another stack of paper.

Dakota grunted and walked to the other end of the dock.

The next person to arrive was a girl with a very heavy artificial tan and a very stylish pouf. She had large gold ring earrings, wore a ripped top and jeans.

"Anne Maria!" Chris greeted. The girl smiled upon hearing her name but frowned once she got an eyeful of the contestants and the campground.

"Okay, so I don't see nuthin' that looks like a resort. What gives?" she demanded in a New Jersey accent.

"This is where you'll be staying for the competition." Chris explained, once again grinning mischievously.

"What a rip-off!" Anne Maria huffed. She then pulled a can of spray tan out of her pouf and began coating herself in it.

"I know, right?" Chris muttered.

As Anne Maria walked to the other end of the dock, Zoey came up to her and attempted to start a conversation.

"Uh, Hi! Looks like we're your new friends for the next eight weeks!" she said smiling awkwardly, but sweetly. Anne Maria raised an eyebrow, still frowning. Zoey slunk back, embarrassed.

As the next boat appeared on the horizon, loud, patriotic music could be heard blaring from it. As it came closer, the campers saw their next: a tall, well-built boy with a unibrow and a black crewcut. He wore a green shirt, blue shorts, army boots, and dog tags. When the boat reached the dock, he hopped off and jogged to Chris.

"Private Brick MacArthur reporting for duty, Chief!" He stood at attention and saluted.

"At ease, soldier." said Chris, chuckling. "This isn't the army. It's reality TV. Speaking of which, you're not supposed to use your last name on the show. It's for your privacy."

"Right. My mistake." said Brick in a low, tough, but friendly voice. "Thank you for the opportunity just the same!" Brick marched over to the other campers. "Good day, fellow cadets! I'm looking forward to competing with and getting to know each and every one of you!" Ella blushed at these words.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Lightning!" Chris Announced.

Rodney, Ella, and Brick looked up into the sky, confused. When another boat appeared, their confusion was cleared up. Disembarking this boat was a big, black jock in a blue and gold football jersey with the number one on the front and back.

"Sha-bam! Ka-chow! The Lightning is here!" he yelled, thrusting his fists into the air and then flexing. "Hello, Gorgeous!" He was relatively handsome, so all of the girls wondered which of them he was referring to until he kissed his biceps. He walked over in between Dakota and Anne Maria, grabbed them both by their shoulders, and flashed the camera a grin as he pulled them closer to him. The girls looked slightly uncomfortable.

In all the showing off, the campers nearly failed to realize that another contestant had arrived. So far, he was the shortest boy there, though not by much, with shaggy golden-brown hair, and a bit of stubble. He wore a light gray sweatshirt despite the weather, an orange vest, and a greenish-brown toque. He was staring off into the distance of the island.

"Welcome to camp, Shawn!" Chris greeted. For a moment, the boy ignored him.

"What's he looking at?" Zoey asked Brick, who shrugged. Then the boy turned to Chris.

"So the show is at a crappy summer camp and not on some big stage or something?" he asked.

"This kid has a brain!" Chris commented.


Shawn, clutching his scalp protectively, scampered to the end of the dock, where all the other campers eyed him uneasily.

"Contestant number ten is Mike!" Chris announced. A tall but thin boy appeared on the dock. He had spiky brown hair, a killer tan, and a gap between his teeth. He wore a teal shirt.

"Hey, Chris! N-nice to meet you!" he said excitedly, but a little nervously. "I saw you on that figure skating show. Good job!"

"Hey, thanks, man! I knew I rocked that show!"

"I saw that!" said Zoey. "Jacques dropped Josée on her face! But they still got immunity that week."

"Ha! Ha!" Rodney laughed. "I hope I get dropped on my head!"

"You sure you didn't a long time ago?" Anne Maria quipped.

"So this is it?" Mike looked around seemingly disappointed. Rodney was picking his nose, Anne Maria was spraying her hair, Brick was standing still a statue, Ella was humming absent-mindedly, and Zoey gave him a small, friendly wave. "Uh, okay…" Mike walked to over the group timidly. He integrated himself into the mass at Zoey's side and gave her a nervous smile. Zoey turned her head away to hide her blushing cheeks.

The next camper to arrive was a pretty Cree girl with short black hair. She wore feather earrings, a purple beaded necklace, a yellow and purple sports jersey, black pants, and purple tennis shoes. She jogged up to Chris.

"Alright! I'm finally here! What's up?!" she asked, excitedly.

"Alright! Our athlete, Sky, is here!" Chris announced, gesturing to the girl.

"Athlete?" Lightning scoffed. "Lightning's the athlete!"

"No, Lightning, you're the athletic overachiever!" Chris corrected.

"What am I?" asked Ella, eagerly.

"You're the fairytale princess, Ella. Now, do you mind? This is Sky's moment. Have some respect!" Chris replied, annoyed. Ella, satisfied with her title, simply shrugged and walked forward to meet Sky.

"Hello, Sky, I am Ella!" she greeted in singsong.

"What's up, Ella?" Sky greeted.

"Hi, I'm Mike!"

"And I'm Zoey!"

"Okay, we all met the gymnast. Can we move on?" said a jealous Anne Maria. Luckily for her, the next boat appeared and dropped off an Indian boy with dark gray hair.

"Our…" Chris began, but he had lost count of how many campers had arrived so far. "…next contestant is Dave!"

"Hi, Chris! Say, did you get the memo of all my allergies, both confirmed and potential?" he asked.

"I'm sure someone did." Chris said, apathy sprinkled in his tone.

"Good. Wait, is this where we're staying?" Dave started fidgeting.

"That's correct, soldier! You disappointed?" asked Brick.

"No! No!" said Dave, with a very forced smile. He nervously rubbed his arms.

Once Dave joined the group, the next contestant arrived, unnerving a great deal of them. The tallest girl any of them had ever seen, she was eight feet tall, black, and had smooth hair tied up in a ponytail. She wore a slouch hat, a wilderness vest over a white shirt, shorts that matched the vest, and green boots.

"Alright! Jasmine is in the house!" Chris announced.

When she stepped onto the dock, everyone gawked at her, save for Chris. She was frowning and everyone seemed intimidated by her. Dakota, Dave, and Ella hid behind Rodney, and Zoey hid behind Brick.

"It's alright, guys. I won't hurt ya." she said with an Australian accent, trying to be friendly.

"Um... I uh, like your hat!" said Mike, nervously.

"Thanks, mate!" said Jasmine.

The next boat dropped off a pair of identical twin girls in red and white cheerleader outfits. They both had platinum-blond hair and blue eyes. The only difference was a beauty mark on one twin's right cheek.

"Ladies! Amy, Samey, welcome to your new home for eight weeks!" Chris announced. Both girls frowned, but for different reasons. The twin with the beauty mark was glancing at the campground with a skeptical scowl.

"Uh, my name is Sammy…" said the twin without the mark.

"Amy says everyone calls you Samey. Because you're the second twin, right?" Chris replied.

"Well, yes… but my real name is Sammy." she argued timidly.

"For now, you're Samey. We have another competitor coming with a very similar name. We're not really supposed to do that on Reality TV. So, if you wanna stay, you're Samey. And you're staying, no matter what." Chris added, holding up Sammy's contract.

Sammy let out a depressed sigh, while her twin, Amy, smirked meanly.

As the twins walked the dock, they both noticed Jasmine and cowered.

"Ah! Giant!" Amy cried.

"Are you and I gonna have a problem?" Jasmine asked, slightly offended.

The next boat arrived and dropped off a very odd-looking boy. He was definitely the shortest contestant to arrive, being no taller than Sky, but he was a lot stouter than her, for sure. He had a sickly gray skin tone and purple hair. Shawn had mistaken him for a zombie, screamed, and hopped into the water. Jasmine reached in and pulled him back out.

"Max! What's up, man?" Chris greeted, holding his hand out for a high five, but the boy did not take it.

"I see by your attempt for small talk that you no doubt know of the true evil that you have invited into your midst and are attempting to worm your way onto my good side." Max said sinisterly. "It is a feeble attempt, it is, to try and ward off my evil ambitions! Once I win this show, it will be a very good first step to conquering the world! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"Where do they get these guys?" Dave whispered to Mike.

"I know, right? Quirky, isn't he?" Mike replied, laughing nervously.

"OK, dude," Chris began. "I know you don't get out much. You're a bit ambitious, a little boastful, and a lotta crazy. But try to get along with your team and try not to get kicked off too early."

"Yes, sir!" said Max, sweetly. He walked over to the group, but everyone sort of moved away from him like he was the wrong end of a magnet. This didn't seem to bother him, though.

The next camper to arrive was a black boy even shorter than Max and as skinny as Mike. He was so small it was hard to believe he wasn't four years under the age requirement. He wore glasses, a red hoodie, and orange shorts.

"Wow! Fresh air! A real lake! Birds!" he cheered, looking around excitedly.

"Cameron! Nice to see ya! How's the real world so far?" Chris asked.

"It's unbelievable! I mean, I've read books and watched shows all about it, but it's just amazing!" said Cameron.

"Uh, Chris," said Lightning. "I thought you had to be sixteen to be on this show!"

"I am sixteen!" said Cameron, indignantly. Lightning scoffed and rolled his eyes. With a pout, Cameron joined the group. He settled in beside Zoey who, along with Mike, gave him a friendly smile.

The next contestant to arrive was almost as intimidating as Jasmine, despite not being as tall as her. She had short, dark blonde hair and violet eyes. She was tall and had a bit of muscle on her. She wore a gray hoodie and sweat pants. She leered at all the other contestants.

"Yo, Jo! Waddaya know!" said Chris playfully. Jo shot a sideways glare at Chris and then marched over to her competition. "Glad to have you here!"

"Stay outta my way if you value your private parts!" Jo hissed. The only one not intimidated by her in any way was Lightning.

"Right back at ya, bro!"

"She's scary!" Rodney whispered to Brick, who raised half his unibrow.

Chris, who was amusedly watching Jo intimidate the contestants, almost didn't notice the next one: an overweight boy with curly reddish-brown hair, wearing glasses. He currently was playing a handheld video game.

"Oh! Sam! What's up, bro?!" said Chris.

"Hold on a second! I'm almost at a save point." said Sam. After a couple more seconds, Sam snapped his GameGuy shut and deposited it into his pocket. "Alright! Total Drama Island! Looks epic! Hey there, Chris!"

"Ya see, Samey? This is why you're Samey!" said Chris.

"But Sam and Sammy are different enough-" Sammy began.

"Shut it, Samey!" Amy barked. Sammy sighed again.

"Alright everyone, here comes Scarlett!" Chris announced. As the next boat pulled up, it revealed a tall girl with long red hair tied up in a bun. She wore large glasses, a yellow blouse, a teal skirt, and knee-high stockings. Chris held her hand like a gentleman as she hopped off the boat.

"Thank you." said Scarlett. "You must be the other contestants. It's quite the pleasure." Scarlett greeted the others. Sam, who was the closest, went forward and shook her hand.

"Name's Sam. How's it goin'?"

"Very nice to meet you, Samuel."

The next contestant to arrive was an obese black boy. He was so large, he made Sam look skinny. He wore a red baseball cap turned backwards, a gold earring, a red hoodie, a waistcoat over the hoodie, and blue shorts.

"Everyone, this is B." said Chris, shaking hands with the newcomer. "Welcome to Total Drama Island."

After the handshake, B smiled and did a finger gesture at Chris. He then waved at his fellow campers.

"Your aura is exceptionally purplish-green." said a girl that no one saw get off a boat. B turned and looked quizzically at this girl. She had skin as white as Ella's and long, soft, blonde hair even lighter than Dakota's. She wore a green sweater, a gray skirt, and lavender leggings. "Oh, it suits you, though!" she added. B smirked.

"Ah! Dawn! Where'd you come from?" Chris asked, startled.

"Hm? Oh, I used a shortcut!" Dawn answered mysteriously. She and B joined the group, the others looking warily at her.

As the next boat roared into focus, the campers saw an ugly boy with orange hair and freckles. He wore a wife-beater and blue jeans. He clutched the rails of the boat and had the meanest scowl on his face out of any of them.

He hopped onto the dock, sniffed his armpit, and then sneered at everyone present.

"Scott…" Chris began. Scott ignored him and walked right past him. "Nice! Glad you could make it."

"So you're my competition, eh? Don't look like much. Hope you're tougher than you look, or winning won't be so fun." he teased.

"Keep smack-talkin', boy and you won't know left from right!" Jo threatened.

"And last, but not least… Sugar!" Chris announced. The final boat was carrying an overweight girl with curly golden hair and a gap in her teeth.

"Howdy, Chris!" she said, excitedly running to the edge of the boat. In doing so, she accidentally tripped over the railings and fell into the water, hitting her chin on the dock.

"Oh, man!" Lightning exclaimed, laughing. "That was bad!" Sky, Ella, and Brick ran over to her in concern.

"Guys, she could be seriously hurt!" Sky told the others. She and Brick reached down and grabbed either of Sugar's arms, pulling her onto the dock, where she shook like a dog to get the water off of her.

"Woo-ee! That kinda felt good! 'Cept for hitting my chin. So, is this a summer camp? That's neat-o! Are we gonna make macaroni art? Toast marshmallows? Sing campfire songs?" she blathered.

"That is a wonderful idea, Sugar!" said Ella. "Since we're all here, we should sing one right now! Ah-ah-ah-ah!" Sugar cringed, but Chris came to her rescue.

"First things first, Ella!" he interrupted politely. "We need a group photo for the promos. Everyone to the end of the dock!" he ordered.

The contestants all filed on the end of the dock and attempted to arrange themselves in a photogenic position. Chris, after hopping onto the boat that Sugar fell off of, tried to guide them in this effort.

"Okay, Rodney and Jasmine in the back, since you're the tallest… Lightning, move your arm, you're blocking Cameron… ladies in the front, please sit down back to back… that's nice… Hey, spread out a little, guys! Scott, Jo, Dakota!"

Sitting or kneeling down in the front, from left to right, were Dawn, Sky, Scarlett, Amy, Sammy, Cameron, and Anne Maria. Behind them, standing from left to right, were Dakota, Lightning, Shawn, Topher, Sam, B, Sugar, Dave, Mike, Zoey, and Ella. In the very back were Brick, Jasmine, Rodney, and Jo. Max and Scott stood off to either side.

"Okay, everyone! Hold that pose! 1… 2… 3! Oh, wait, forgot the camera lens!" Chris opened the camera lens so that he could actually take the picture. "Alright, again. 1… 2… 3! Oh no, wait. Card's full. Hang on!" As Chris changed the memory card, some of the campers got impatient.

"Come on, mate! My face is starting to freeze!" Jasmine complained through a clenched smile.

"Alright, got it! Everyone say 'Wawanakwa!'"

"Wawanakwa!" the campers shouted, and Chris took the picture. As soon as he snapped it, the dock beneath them gave away, plunging all 24 campers into the lake. Chris took a few pictures of that as well.

"Alright, campers, dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten!"

Ten minutes later…

The campers, having sufficiently dried themselves off gathered in a stony pit with a fireplace and twelve large stumps to act as chairs. Twelve of the campers had settled themselves there, while the other half stood up and around them.

"This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for up to eight weeks! The campers sitting around will be your roommates and competition. They may even be your friends. You might even find your soulmate or worst enemy among them. Ya dig?" said Chris. Ella smiled at Sugar, who scowled. Jo and Brick exchanged unfriendly glances. Mike shot Zoey a sweet smile, and she reciprocated.

"The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest will receive one hundred thousand dollars and will become famous!" Dakota, Jasmine, Lightning, Topher, and Sky all cheered.

"Am I on the right show?" Dave asked, looking incredibly uncomfortable.

"Here's the deal, we're going to split you into two teams. If I call your name, go stand over there. Zoey. Mike. Jo. Cameron. Brick. Scott. B. Sam. Dakota. Anne Maria. Lightning. And Dawn." The named campers all moved over to Chris's left side. "From this moment on, you will officially be known as…" Chris tossed the group a green banner which rolled out to reveal a picture of an angry-looking rodent. "…The Screaming Gophers!"

"Ha-ha! Killer!" Sam commented.

"The rest of you, over here!" Chris gestured to his right. "Shawn. Jasmine. Ella. Dave. Sky. Rodney. Amy. Samey. Topher. Scarlett. Max. And Sugar. Move! Move! Move! Move!"

"I'm always picked last!" Sugar grumbled, quietly. Chris handed this group a red banner.

"You guys will officially be known as…" The banner rolled out to reveal a mean-looking fish. "…The Killer Bass!"

"It's awesome, Chris! I mean, it's like, amazing!" Topher gushed.

"Yes… it is… lovely!" said Ella weakly.

"Yes, a perfect name for a team of evil villains for which I will be master of! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!" Max cackled. Sugar laughed obnoxiously.

"Say 'evil' again!" Sugar hollered.

"Um, excuse me?" said Sammy. "Can I switch teams?"

"Sorry, Samey. These are the teams. No going back." Chris replied.

"But- but our team has seven girls and five guys! Theirs has seven guys and five girls! We could even things out!" Sammy cried desperately.

"Shut up, Samey!" Amy hissed, elbowing her twin in the side. "Don't make a fool out of yourself by hating your team, you sexist twerp!"

"Alright, campers, you and your team will be on camera in all public areas during the competition. You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts and feelings via video diaries any time you want! Let the audience back home know what you're really feeling! Or just get something off your chest!"

Confessional: Zoey

"Wow! I can't believe I made it onto Total Drama Island! It's so exciting! Everyone seems so nice! I hope they all like me! I could use a few new friends. Or… friends, period. Oh! What if they hate me? Maybe this flower's too big. Am I trying too hard? You like me, right?"

Confessional: Dave

"So, uh, this is my team? ...Okay, how did I get put on a team with all the weirdos?"

Confessional: Sammy

"This is so unfair! I auditioned for Total Drama Island to get away from Amy!"

Confessional: Shawn

"In my mind, I'm always running from zombies. And if you're not, you're crazy!

End Confessional

"Any more questions? Good! Let's find your cabins!" Chris led the way toward the campground where two shabby-looking cabins rested, facing across from each other. Each cabin had two rooms, accessible only from the outside. "Gophers, you're in the east cabin, Bass, you're in the west. Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other."

The Screaming Gopher girls chose the right side of their cabin. Once they opened the right side door, it revealed three bunk beds, a furnace, and two chests of drawers.

"Bunk beds?" said Dakota incredulously. "Isn't this a little… summer camp?"

"That's the point, ya dumb blonde!" said Anne Maria, deliberately bumping Dakota on her way in.

"Shut up, Jersey Shore reject!" Dakota snapped.

Zoey, not wanting her side of the cabin to be in total discord for the entirety of the competition, tried to step in.

"Whoa, let's try to be friends! After all, we are gonna be living together for a couple weeks!" she said, giving them each a smile, but they harrumphed and threw their things onto their beds. Zoey and Dawn shared the bunk on the left side of the room with Zoey getting the top and Dawn the bottom. Dakota and Anne Maria shared the bunk in the right corner, Dakota taking the bottom and Anne Maria the top. Jo took the bottom bunk closest to the door.

Meanwhile, on the guys' side, Lightning had bunked with Brick, Scott with Sam, and Mike with B. This, however, left someone without a bunk.

"Where am I gonna sleep?" Cameron asked worriedly.

"You sleep on the girls' side, obviously!" said Lightning.

"What? But I'm a boy!" said Cameron, slightly offended.

"Wait, really?" said Lightning, genuinely surprised at this claim. "Then we gonna have a problem…"

B nudged Mike and then pointed to the wall that separated the boys from the girls. Mike immediately caught on. He walked over to the girls' side.

"Hey, girls." said Mike.

"Uh, hi, Mike." said Zoey. "Shouldn't you be on the guys' side?"

"Yeah, about that, we have seven guys on our team and only six beds on our side of the cabin, so-" Mike was interrupted when Jo grabbed him by the waist and hoisted him over her head.

"Sorry, Spike! You're not sleeping in here!" she barked, and she prepared to toss him out like a football.

"Whoa! That's not what I was going to ask!" cried Mike desperately. "I was just gonna ask if we could take down one of your beds and move it to our side! Honest!" Just at that moment, B appeared in the door, holding a screwdriver and wrench. Jo put Mike down.

"Fine, whatever! Just be quick!" she barked. It was clear that these were not originally bunk beds. These were two normal beds each, tied together with twine. B merely had to yank at the poorly tied knots one time each to unfasten them. With a bit of difficulty, Mike and B carried the bed into the boys' side and crammed it into the front left corner, where B nonverbally offered to sleep so that Cameron could bunk with Mike.

Meanwhile, the girls of the Killer Bass faced the exact same problem.

"Well, a house is a home, and a home is a house!" Ella sang as the Bass girls filed into their living quarters.

"Shut yer song-hole, Dressy!" Sugar snapped at Ella.

"This is not a dress, it's a skirt and a blouse!" Ella corrected musically. Sugar growled and covered her ears.

"Okay, we're one bed short. How are we going to do this?" asked Sky.

"Samey could sleep on the floor." Amy suggested.

"What? No! I deserve a bed, too!" Sammy protested.

"Stop being so selfish, Samey!" Amy growled.

"If anyone's sleeping on the floor, it should be Jasmine." Scarlett argued. "As the tallest by far, she's the most likely to hit her head either on the ceiling or the underside of a top bunk in the event of a rude awakening, regardless of whether she's on top or bottom."

"Thanks, but I'll take my chances." said Jasmine, tossing her pack onto the top bunk on the far left. "I'll ask the guys if they've got a spare we can use." The tall dark girl walked to the boys' side. Sure enough, there were six beds and only five guys. Dave was bunking under Shawn in the back left corner, Rodney under Topher in the back right, and Max to himself.

"Oy, you blokes! I see you got an extra bed. We're short one, can we have your extra?"

"Sure." said Rodney, and he helped Jasmine take it down and bring it to the girls' side.

"Dibs!" cried Sugar as she plopped down onto the single bed. Jasmine rolled her eyes.

"Okay, you can have a bed!" Amy groaned to Sammy, who sighed in great relief. She had been legitimately worried that she might have had to sleep on the floor. It would not have been the worst thing her sister made her do.

Scarlett bunked under Jasmine. Amy bunked under Sammy because she liked the canopy effect, and Ella bunked under Sky.

As the campers were settling in, a few Gophers came out to ask Chris a question.

"Yo, Chris! Where're the outlets?! I gotta plug in my hairdryer!" Anne Maria demanded.

"And I have to charge my GameGuy. It's almost dead!" Sam complained.

"There are some in the communal bathrooms just across the way." Chris answered cheekily.

"Thanks, Chris!" Sam gratefully ran off to the bathrooms, but Anne Maria looked confused.

"Communal bathrooms? But I ain't Russian!" Anne Maria complained.

"Not 'communist,' communal!" Chris corrected. Anne Maria tilted her head. "It means you shower together!"

"...Aw come on! No!" she whined loudly. The guys in earshot were silently grateful that they had a cabin all to themselves.

"Hey, Chris!" cried Topher. "Is there a chaperone of any kind around here?"

"You're all sixteen years old." said Chris, reasonably. "As old as a counselor-in-training at a regular summer camp. So other than myself, Chef Hatchet, and the hundreds of cameras hidden everywhere, you'll be unsupervised. You've got a half-hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge, starting now!"

No sooner had Chris turned his back that an earth-shattering scream was heard from the Screaming Gophers' cabin. Zoey, Dawn, Brick, Lightning, Jasmine, Mike, Shawn, Amy, Sammy, and Rodney ran to the girls' side what was up.

Dakota was standing on a stool, apparently cornered by a cockroach.

"Ew! Ew! Ew! Kill it!" Dakota cried. Rodney let a girlish shriek and leaped onto the nearest bed, breaking it under his weight.

"Hey! That was my bed!" Zoey moaned. Shawn, Mike, and Jasmine rushed in and attempted to squash the roach under their feet, but had little luck, as the small bug proved quite elusive. Amy and Sammy clambered onto Anne Maria's bed, too afraid of the ground at the moment.

It looked like the little bug was home free as it made its way toward the open door, but Brick was waiting there with a sledgehammer.

"Help me!" it uttered.

Right as Brick was about swing the hammer down, Dawn popped in front of him yelling "STOP!" just preventing him from scoring a direct hit. She then scooped the insect into her hands. "It's okay, little one. No harm will come to you while I'm here." she said soothingly.

"You being clucky to a roach?" Jasmine asked.

"Shame on all of you!" Dawn scolded. "It's just a harmless little cockroach." Brick went slightly red as Dawn passed him and went outside. As she exited, Lightning came in.

"If ya'll ever see one of those again, call me! I can get rid of 'em, easy!" he said to Amy and Sammy.

"You didn't even do anything to help…" Amy stated. It was true, but it didn't stop Sammy from hopping down to give Lightning a warm smile, which he returned.

Thirty minutes later…

The campers lined up at the mess hall, where a large black man in a chef's hat and apron was waiting for them behind the counter. He was so large he made Rodney look skinny. This was Chef Hatchet.

"Listen up!" he barked with the ferocity of a drill sergeant. "I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab yer tray, get yer food, and sit yer butts down NOW!"

"SIR, YES, SIR!" Brick saluted, grabbing his tray and letting Chef load it quickly with what appeared to be Sloppy Joe's (though distinguishing between the meat and sauce was impossible) and mashed potatoes.

"Excuse me, will we be getting all the major food groups?" asked Scarlett. "Because I have type-2 diabetes which requires a healthy quantity of-" but Chef interrupted her.

"You'll get a whole lotta SHUT THE HELL UP!" he barked in the nerd's face.

"Sheesh, don't have a cow, man." Scott whispered to Lightning.

"What was that?! Come closer, farm boy! I didn't hear you!" Chef barked.

"I said your face looks like a butt!" Scott sneered. Eyes popped, including Scott's as Chef took his meal and slammed it over Scott's head.

With a little more reverence, the campers, one by one, got their food and traveled to their respective team's table. Cameron shook with fear as Chef loaded his tray, he was about to take off when "Hey, scrawny kid! Gimme yer plate!" Chef added an extra scoop of Sloppy Joe's onto Cameron's bun, but it inexplicably jumped back into the spoon. Chef shook the spoon and slammed the extra scoop back onto the bun.

As Chef tried to sort this out, Jasmine came up from behind Jo and tried to start a conversation with her. "What's up, sheila?" she asked kindly.

"You, obviously!" Jo snarked. Jasmine flinched, taken back by this jab. Jo laughed as she got her food and went to the Screaming Gopher table.

"Oh, is it gonna be like that? Well, two can play at that game!"

"NEXT!" barked Chef.

"Excuse me," said Sky when it was her turn. "My trainer says I should avoid white sugar and flour." Chef showed how much he cared by grabbing a fly out of midair and crushing it.

"I don't think that'll be a problem." said Dave, looking distastefully at his meal, which seemed to wiggle briefly.

"Awesome." said Sky. She then left to sit down.

"Uh, Chef? I think mine just moved." Dave complained. If it wasn't clear to Dave that Chef was no happier to be here than he was, it was now. With an exasperated look on his face, Chef took out a large wooden meat tenderizer and violently squashed Dave's Sloppy Joe, getting bits of meat on the both of them. "Yuck! Okay! Sorry!" Dave grabbed his tray and a lot of napkins.

Once everyone had their meals, they all sat and ate in silence. Chris came in.

"Welcome to the main lodge!" he greeted happily. The lodge was a nicer place than the cabins for sure, but the food was another story.

"Chris, d'you have any hot dogs we can roast?" asked Shawn. A cleaver flew through the dining hall and embedded itself in the wall, startling everyone. "Whoa! No offense, man!" Shawn cried, seeing Chef holding a machete and glowering menacingly. The campers all cowered in their seats.

"Your first challenge begins in half an hour!" Chris announced, ignoring the drama.

"What do think they'll make us do?" Sammy asked Rodney, worriedly.

"Don't worry. It's only our first challenge. It should be simple." said Rodney confidently.

"So, when you're done eating, get on your swimsuits and meet me up at the top of the peak. For your very first challenge, you will be jumping off a cliff!" Chris then left.

Everyone froze.

"Simple, yet insane." Dave deadpanned.

Author's Note: Here we have the first chapter of Total Drama Island Recast. You might have noticed that Staci, Leonard, and Beardo are absent. That's because I couldn't think of anything to do with them and twenty-four characters is already plenty. Plus, I don't want the first boot to be obvious. Stay tuned at the end of each chapter to hear my thoughts on the eliminated contestant. Please read and review, and feel free to post reviews on previous chapters even after the next chapter is already up. Who are your favorite characters and who do you want to win? Who do you think will win? Who do you think will be the first one out? Who will be the villain? We got a lot of 'em, so stay tuned! This will be updated every Saturday at 12:00 PM Pacific Standard Time. I hope you all enjoy it!