This is purely crack because,,,I just kind of want to pretend that the whole last arc didn't happen, and everything is just staged and super-meta, and really, the TCW fam is just having a grand old time putting on this great tragedy for the viewers and are really just chilling on set and eating the catered food and mimicking each other's dramatic lines. That is all.


SCENE X: TAKE ONE

"Anakin, where are you?" Obi-Wan grumbles, ducking down just as another beam of laser shot over his head. There are a few moments of silence, and this time, both Cody and Obi-Wan turn to look at the camera in confusion. Anakin Skywalker is supposed to arrive to the scene at this point and give his suave "right here" response, but—

Obi-Wan clears his throat. "Anakin," he repeats louder, "where are you?"

"Right—" There's a thud and then some light swearing (all of which are bleeped out) before the camera swings around and focuses on a certain Jedi Knight sprawled across the ground, a sheepish look on his face. "Right here."

Obi-Wan and Cody exchange an exasperated look (well, Cody an exasperated little head shake) before the director shouts, "CUT!"

SCENE X: TAKE TWO

"Anakin, where are you?" Obi-Wan grumbles.

"Right here," Anakin replies, confidently strolling up to the camera. He looks down at Obi-Wan. "What are you doing down there?" A laser beam comes whizzing past his way, and Anakin shifts a little to his side, but just as he does, another shot comes for his head, and Anakin ducks completely down.

"What was that?" Anakin asks as he gets back on his feet. "Was that supposed to—"

"You're not supposed to aim for his head!" the director shouts.

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

"Just hang on a little longer," Rex says, making his way back to his men.

The expected chorus of groans go up: "sir, yes sir", and then there's a sudden whoosh in the background, and Rex (and the camera) look up just in time to see one lone trooper already zipping out from under the bridge.

Rex turns back around to the camera and says flatly, "Someone else is getting him this time."

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

"Ahsoka," Anakin says, stunned. "Wh—I don't believe it!" He tilts his head up at Ahsoka's flickering form. "Where—" He stops short and looks between Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. "I wasn't supposed to start off with that, right?"

"No," Obi-Wan and Ahsoka chorus.

SCENE X: TAKE TWO

"Hello Master," Ahsoka says, folding her arms over her chest. "It's…" She narrows her eyes, and then she whispers, horrified, "I don't know what I'm supposed to say next."

"It's been a while," Anakin whispers back up at her.

"Thanks," Ahsoka whispers.

"No problem, Snips."

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

"That's one way to look at it, I suppose," Obi-Wan muses, keeping his arms folded in front of him.

Anakin frowns and starts to dive in front of Obi-Wan, but before he can, his foot gets snagged on something—which he would later realize is the hem of Obi-Wan's robes—and crashes right into his poor master. The two go toppling down with sharp cries of alarm.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan groans.

"Sorry!"

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

R2-D2 comes whizzing through the hanger as Ahsoka makes her last step off the ramp. Maybe the droid was a little too excited filming the scene, or maybe Ahsoka had taken one step farther off the ramp than expected, because the droid collides against Ahsoka's shins.

For a solid moment, Ahsoka tries to play off the incident as though they had been planning it all along. It's not until Obi-Wan's guiding Bo-Katan away from the ship does Ahsoka double over by Anakin, whispering, "Ow."

Laughter erupts on set. Obi-Wan comes quickly rushing back with a bandage. There is some embarrassed "No, Master Kenobi, I'm fine—okay, okay—wait—" Ahsoka just barely manages to lift her head up to the camera, sheepish smile already on her face. "Sure, let's keep this in."

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

"Company! Attention!"

There was the quick stomping of boots against durasteel as the clone troopers snaps to attention, but right at the last second, the helmet from under Rex's elbow comes toppling down.

"Sorry," Rex mutters, and he ducks down to pick the helmet back up. He lasts only a second before he's smirking, and then Ahsoka and Anakin are both laughing. The entire company bursts into snickers before the director shouts for a re-take.

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

"That's not fair."

"I'm not trying to be."

There is a silence. One second, two seconds, three seconds—

Both Ahsoka and Obi-Wan look at Anakin expectedly.

"Wait, was that my line?"

SCENE X: TAKE TWO

"That's not fair."

"I'm not trying to be."

"I'll…" Anakin gestures. "Divide the 501st. Make a new division under Ahsoka's command!"

"Unfortunately," Obi-Wan starts, "Ahsoka is no longer a grand member of the grand—oh, that's not it—"

"Just keep going," Anakin says in a stage whisper.

"No, I'm not a grand member of the grand anything, grand Master," Ahsoka chirps.

"You two," Obi-Wan sighs, shaking his head.

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

Ahsoka leaps off the smoking ship and onto the landing platform. Her feet hit the platform, and sticking her light sabers out, she only just starts to dig the blades into the ground when an untimed gust of wind knocks her barreling forward head first instead.

"Are you okay?" Anakin shouts from off-camera.

"Fine!" Ahsoka shouts back. She picks her head up from the ground and, flashing the camera a thumbs-up, says, "We're doing that again, right?"

SCENE X: TAKE TWO

Ahsoka stands with her light sabers drawn behind herself. As Mandalorians stream out from behind her, Rex comes shooting down with a jetpack. He only gets about halfway to the landing platform before another gust of wind came forcing him rather ungracefully to the ground.

Keeping a straight face and ignoring Rex's muffled swears, Ahsoka says, "Beat you."

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

Ahsoka runs through the tunnels, her light sabers the only source of light. She turns her head from one side to the other, following the distant shouts of the troopers, and she started to pivot on her heel for the direction of the sound when she tripped on an unfortunate trooper's arm.

"Sorry!" Ahsoka whispers as the pretend-corpse of a trooper groans.

"It's a miracle," comes Rex's dry voice from somewhere off-camera. "He's alive!"

The trooper Ahsoka had tripped over laughs, and then Ahsoka and the rest of the cast and crew are laughing too.

SCENE X: TAKE ONE

The distant clang of Maul's boots against the tunnel floor echoes around the setting, and Ahsoka rights her light sabers.

"I was hoping for Kenobi," comes Maul's ominous voice. There is more clanging, more painfully dramatic echoes, and then a beat. Ahsoka waits patiently, light sabers still drawn at the ready.

Another beat, and then Maul says, "I'm sorry, I believe my foot's gotten caught in something—" There is some shuffling and then stifled laughter, followed by an annoyed, "Someone put some kind of magnet here—"

The camera zooms in on Ahsoka's face. She flicks the camera a single shrug, followed by a wink.


A/N: And they were all happy on set. There is footage of Ahsoka and Anakin and Obi-Wan taking a nap together in the break room. Rex might have taken the liberty of drawing a lothcat on Ahsoka's face with Anakin's help. Maul makes a point of mimicking Obi-Wan's accent at every turn. Obi-Wan helps Ahsoka stick the magnets to the ground but no one suspects a thing because he's Master Suave and Cool and Mature.

Next update will come in two days! As always, reviews/favorites/follows are highly appreciated! This story will just cover the span of the last four episodes because we,,,kind of need to laugh about something.