It took me a while to get to that chapter. I tried something else here that hopefully makes translating much easier for me, and translated the chapter using deepl DOT com; the program is amazingly good.


587 F.A. day 13 after we left Uncle Maglor's hiding place

Can it get any worse? I don't know. My mind is so confused, it's like I'm paralyzed. I'm trying to understand something for which there is no understanding.

Uncle Maedhros is dead. Eonwe told us.

I stood in the presence of a Maia, Manwe's herald himself, and I hated him for what he said to us.

Uncle Maedhros is dead.

Writing it down doesn't make it any more real, I find. I just can't understand it. The pain is too deep, it pervades me completely, and I know that Elros feels the same way. Our nightmare has come true. For weeks we've feared and enthralled and hoped against hope. And then he tells us this, without pity, without understanding our situation. How can the world be so cruel?

Then he went on as if nothing else mattered. Both our bodily parents, he said, and my brother and I were free to choose which people we wanted to belong to. I do not care! I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! I don't care! Uncle Maedhros is dead. We have other things to worry about right now than this nonsense. Our family has been destroyed, I don't want to be reminded of Earendil. I don't care about that man.

I wish Uncle Maglor were here now, everything would be fine again. But he's disappeared too. Eonwe never said where he went. Elros and I agree that this is the only sensible thing to do now: to find him and save him. Tomorrow we will set out.

I would like to ask for the Valar's help, but I have the feeling that this is all just a cruel joke.