Music's no good (without you)

Warnings/notes : Schuldich/Ken, songfic, slight fluff, first pov shifts after each songfragment

Disclaimer : I don't own Weiss Kreuz. the song 'The music's no good without you' belongs to Cher. lyrics slightly altered.

written at 14th april 2003, by Misura. part 3 of 3

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//The music's no good without you baby,

The music's no good at all,// [Schuldich]

You let me hold you willingly enough. It feels so right doing this, so wrong at the same time. I want you back, yes. Maybe you want me back too.

Why would you though? I may look nice ; on the inside I'm not half as pretty as you are. Even when we were together I hurt you sometimes, by things I said or did.

I never meant to. I don't want to cause you pain.

Yet without you, my life has no meaning. Without you, I am lived by others who only know the mask I wear, not the real me. They're not interested in who I am, only in how they can use me, what I can do for them.

It amused me sometimes to play around with them, but it was meaningless. You gave me a taste of what life can be, in all its fullness and sweetness.

//The music's no good without you baby,

Come back to me.// [Ken]

I can't believe what my eyes are telling me ; that it is you dancing with me.

You look sad, pensive, not your usual self. I wonder why you are here. Did you notice me and took pity? Or did you decide to come and play with your kitten some more?

I'm yours. I don't think anything you could do or say to me would change that.

"Kenken." Your voice is soft. It caresses the pieces of my broken heart, soothing the pain. I don't want to be comforted ; I want to remember you. How you left me.

That pain is all I have left of you and I will cherish it, together with the memories of your lies.

"Leave me alone." I mean for the words to be forceful, to drive you away. But they're not. They sound meek. I don't want you to leave me alone. I want you to stay, even if it's just for one night, one dance. One more memory to keep.

One more lesson to learn.

"No." It's all you say. This too is not like you. Where's the teasing remark on how I can't live without you, how I surely have missed you? Instead of more words, you press me closer.

Your body tells me you want me. My heart tells me you love me. My mind tells me you're a very skilled liar and I shouldn't believe you.

But I'm one of those persons that think with their heart.

//The music's no good without you baby,

The music's no good at all,// [Schuldich]

I barely hear the song, only feel its vibrations in my body. Maybe that's why I dance so well ; I don't try to listen to the music or the text, I just surrender to it.

My moves aren't based on conscious planning, they're merely what the music asks of me.

My mind is left free to dwell on other subjects. Like what I am doing here with you. I can't let go, not at this moment anyway and perhaps I never will.

There's no fighting it, no denying the truth.

"I have to tell you something."

"What?" You look wary, like you think you're not going to like my next words. Maybe you're right. But love is a selfish emotion. I will do my best to get you back, to make you mine again.

I have no choice.

//The music's no good without you baby,

The music's just no good // [Ken]

I don't want to hear. Don't want your pity. Haven't you done enough? You spun me so many illusions, why do you have to take this one of mine away from me?

Can't you let me believe for one more minute you care for me?

Can't you give me one more minute of pretending we're still together?

Three months ... didn't that mean anything to you?

I wish you'd just go and seduce me, even if I'd wake up alone next morning. It makes me feel sick to hear me think that, but it's completely true.

You changed me, molded me into someone else. I can't help myself anymore.

I have to kiss you if you're not going to kiss me.

//Come back// [Schuldich]

As I open my mouth to tell you, you press your lips to mine. I nearly fall over with surprise. Even when we were most in love with eachother, you never took the initiative to anything more than cuddling.

You taste like despair, like grief. A bitter taste. I pull back. "No!"

"Why not? Don't you want me anymore?"

How can you ask that? Don't you know ... of course you don't. You can't read people's minds. You can only judge by appearances. Often, that meant you were mistaken.

Too trusting. Not this time though.

"I love you. I mean it, Ken. If you don't come back to me, ... "

I would have nothing. But maybe you'd have a chance for a much better life. You deserve it.

//Come back to me.// [Ken]

I can't believe you're saying this to me. And what do you mean 'if I don't come back'? You left me, not the other way around. I never wanted you to leave.

"Will you stay this time?" I have to know.

Even if you may lie to me again, starting the cycle all over.

You nod. Not a word ; is that a sign of truth or an indication you're deceiving me? I don't care right now. I live for today, at least for the moment.

"Why?"

The hint of a smile on your lips, a glimpse of you the way I knew you.

"Because the music's no good without you."

"Huh?"

You laugh and sweep me of my feet as a new song starts, a quick one this time.

I don't mind, not really. I think I will allow myself to believe in you. Tomorrow's far away after all. Plenty of time for regrets then.

~OWARI~