Thanx for all the reviews! If my updates don't come right away it means I'm grounded from the computer. Just a heads up. Ok, I hope this is where I left you guys off.

"Yeah, of course I'll help you. What makes you think I won't? But that's a lot of information you just threw at me. Wait first of all, how come you never told me about it all. I know I left a number. How come you never kept in touch. I mean you always.and when I do call you guys, Brad, er I mean your dad, always picks up the phone hollering at me to never call, so I never call," Brennan started trying to say sorry to me indirectly. My sobs subsided as I was totally engrossed in my thoughts. So this is how it feels to have a brother. This is how it feels to be loved. Wait, he doesn't love me, or does he. Damn I'm so confused!

"Want to go see him? I mean you drive," I said getting up wiping away tears. I couldn't sit there any longer thinking about Bryan. I had to see him, I'm going to have to see him. I got to see him. He's my brother, my little dependent brother, my little dependent brother who was dying. Dying and I wasn't there. I need to be there, I have to be there.

The whole ride was me and Brennan lost in our own thoughts. I worrying about Bryan, and Brennan still surprised that I actually phoned him. Heck I was too. Then again I'm desperate. I need my brother to survive. I need my family to survive. I needed him to survive for both of us. He survived and lived for both of us. Without him, my world would crumble beneath me. Without him, I won't be me. More importantly, without him, I couldn't live. Life's been hell for seventeen fucking years. Mom dying, brother running away, abusive father. Drunken socs. Tough vicous gangs waiting to tear you up, if you walked alone. Old fashion jumpings, but through it all, I had my brother there, encouraging me to be better. Showing me that life was worth living. Showing me the little things that meant so much. Always being there after a good fight. Being able to whine about the smallest things in front of him. Being able to be who I was in front of him. No, without him I wouldn't survive. He needed to survive for the both of us.

"Dallas?" Brennan's voice bringing me back from my thoughts. I looked around, at first confused, but I then realized that I was there, in the hospital, ready to see Colt. But in my heart I know I'm not ready. I'm not ready to face my dying brother yet. I'm not ready for reality to sink in. All I want is this to be a dream, one that I could wake up from with an arm slung around Bryan. All I want is for this to be a horrible dream with Bryan and Two-Bit laughing the next day as Bryan told the gang. All I wanted was this to be one big nightmare. But I know it's not just a nightmare, it's also reality.

We walked swiftly through mazes of corridors until we found Bryan's room. Bryan had looked even paler than when I last saw him. He looked so tired and worn out. Like he was giving up on life. Damn it, I'm soppose to be there. I'm soppose to be the one to save that damn kid from the stupid soc. This is all my fucking fualt. This is all my fualt! Now how am I going to correct this? How am I going to rescue my brother like I'm soppose to. All the responsibilities are up to me. Me and me alone. I had to take care of myself, but I also have to take care of my little brother.

"Hey Bryan. C'mon kid wake up," I said shaking him gently. His eyes fluttered fraily to acknowledge us. His head turned to my side, and behind those pained eyes, I saw the dancing ones. He managed a weak grin as I gave him a hug. His dimples still showing despite the small little grin.

"Hey Dallas. Thought you'd never show," He said hoarsly, his voice barely recognizable. There was too much pain in his voice. I had left out the part that he gotten jumped right before the seizure, but now I knew I shouldn't have. My helpless brother was laying before me, scared silly, and all I can do is watch him. Watch him and worry. Nothing else. I've never felt so helpless about anything in my whole life.

"Naw kid, I always show. Listen I want you to meet someone. Remember how I always told you we had an older brother? Yeah well, he's here kid. Brennan, Bryan. Bryan, Brennan," Brennan looked down at body. Yes, that's his body, his soul was out hunting for Soda's football, or at Buck's with a horse. He was with Johnny at the bowling alley playing pinball. Yes Bryan's soul is there, he just forgot his body here.

We all got lost into heavy concentration. Bryan's repirator (a/n I have no clue what anything is so bear with me) and heart monitor are the only things making any noise. Every once in awhile you could hear Bryan wince in pain as he shifted positions. Brennan looking out the window and into the heart of Oklohoma City. I sat there thinking about Bryan, life, and for some odd reason death. Do we go on living even after death? How do we go on living after someone we cared for died? How did I? And that's when the answer hit me, smack dab in my face. Bryan was there when they died. Bryan was there to mourn with. If Bryan dies, I couldn't mourn with him. I could mourn with the gang, Tim, Curly, every grease in Tulsa, maybe even Brennan, but I can't mourn with Bryan. He'd be dead.

"Hey Dally?" My head snapped up as I heard my brother calling for me. I looked deep into his blue eyes, seeing how oppisite we really are. His eyes were the same color blue as me, but they were warm telling his feelings, while mine were cold and heartless only showing my hate towards the world. His were huge, big like Johnny's always craving the attention, while mine were small, but it scared people silly. His were deep while mine were just cheap. We were two complete opposites. He was a jock, and I could care less about sports. He cared for school, again, I could care less. He was deep and emotional, while I was shallow and cheap. What was the biggest difference was that he still had hope in the world. He still thinks there are some good, in this world, while I already gave the thought up.

"Yeah kid?" I asked trying to see the same kid I was looking at the time he got arrested, or the time he got caught with Grand Theft Auto, but I couldn't find him. It was just a costume Bryan puts on. It's just a costume he could take off, but I couldn't. This tough look on my face I can't wash off. This dirty attitude I can't just throw into the laundry. No, this bad boy attitude is going to stick with me, because it's who I am, but it's not who Bryan is.

"About the surgery." Bryan started. It struck me that I'm thinking he already said yes. But he has to say yes, I mean why wouldn't he. After all he did love life. He had to say yes. He just has to say yes.

A/N so what's Bryan's answer? You guys wont know until u r/r. Hint hint, wink wink, cough cough. lol