Itachi and Kisame were between missions. Something Itachi particularly liked because it meant they weren't running to or from danger. Kisame however got fidgety during these times, itching for a spar.
Understandably, Itachi wasn't much in the way of a suitable sparing partner.
He was however, perfect to for target practise.
"Damnit, Kisame!" Itachi cried, running away from the shark-man as fast as his legs would carry him. "This is insane! Aaaahhhh!" Eyes bugging, Itachi ducked low, Samehada sweeping overhead. "You nearly killed me!"
"It's fine." Kisame insisted, flapping his free hand, the other holding Samehada comfortably against his shoulder. "Go on, keep running, I'm not tired yet and I want to try a water jutsu."
"You're going to give me a heart attack!" Itachi complained stumbling to his feet then bending over to pat the dirt from his kimono. Unable to perform a henge, Itachi had taken to masquerading as a civilian to hide from any more would-be assassins. With his hair down to obscure his face, no headband and a change of clothes that didn't scream ninja, the disguise worked quite well.
Kisame sighed, "Stop being dramatic. You know I won't kill you." Reluctantly, Itachi had to agree. As harrowing as it was running through the woods, Kisame hadn't actually hurt him. Looking his partner over, Kisame cocked his head. "You good?" Itachi nodded. "Great. You've got... twenty seconds head start. That should be plenty of time to do the seals."
"Most people wouldn't call that a head start," Itachi sighed, looking to the expanse of forest before him. A mess of trees, raised roots but thankfully no other ninja. "Just remember, you're making dinner tonight," he told Kisame before taking a breath and hurtling off as Kisame started to count down.
"Five... four... three... two," Kisame's voice carried through the woods, though Itachi could hardly hear him above his own panting breaths. "One and a bit... one and a bit less... one and a quarter... one." Itachi didn't have breath to question the odd counting at the end as the forest became flooded, sweeping Itachi off his feet with a yelp. Spinning head over arse, arms flailing for purchase on a tree branch, a boulder, something, Itachi squeezed his eyes shut, the blurry scenery making him nauseous.
The world stopped spinning as suddenly as it started, the difference being Itachi's momentum was stopped by a warm body. Peeling himself away enough to see the person, Itachi swallowed thickly. Green jumpsuit, orange leg warmers, horrific bowlcut. Might Guy. Oh his luck was just dreadful at this point.
"Young man," addressed Guy, holding Itachi firmly so that the younger ninja could not escape. "Why is this forest full of water?" Looking around them, Itachi saw that not only were they perched in a high tree, Kisame's water had actually flooded the place, the water level tens of feet high in a controlled bubble some 200ft wide. Off in the distance, Itachi noticed a shadow in the water and assumed it was Kisame swimming just below the water's surface.
"There was a ninja... water jutsu," Itachi replied, hoping the rumours of Guy's awful memory were true.
"Huh," Guy mused, rubbing his chin. Turning easily and pushing Itachi towards the tree trunk, Guy said, "I'll have this fixed in a jiffy. You just wait there. Haaaaaaah!"
Itachi had never been so close to Guy as he opened up his chakra gates. Nor did he ever want to be again. Clutching the tree trunk as the other man's chakra snapped the branch they stood on, the pressure nigh unbearable, he was almost glad when Guy moved away towards the water.
Flames burst from Guy's fists like a flamethrower, burning away not just the water but the forest too with their intensity.
Itachi felt his heartbeat start to pick up. "Kisame!" he shouted, looking for his partner amongst the flaming wreckage. No answer came and so reluctantly, Itachi began his descent towards the ground.
Not being equipped to deal with a fire of such magnitude, Itachi watched the flames for a moment before deciding to leave the area, stumbling across Samehada near the edge of the flaming portion. It laid under a burning branch and whining like a wounded animal.
Knowing better than to grab it by the hilt, Itachi removed his kimono obi and tied that around Samehada before dragging it along with him, looking rather like a small child with a pull along toy. Samehada gurgled, a sound Itachi hadn't heard from the sword before and so paused, turning around to look at the blade as it vomited up Kisame. Itachi blinked, then rubbed his eyes. Kisame was still crawling out of Samehada. Dropping the obi, Itachi threw up against the nearest tree.
"Hey... you okay, 'Tachi?" Kisame asked approaching him from behind to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, smelling fishier than usual and covered in a light sheen of something. Itachi purposely fought against imagining what kind of saliva a sword had.
Later, it was discovered that Guy reported tangling with Itachi Uchiha in the forest, and that the Uchiha had burned said forest down to escape with a civilian hostage called "Hibame".
Leader felt Itachi had done very well to battle the Beast of the Leaf, but asked that he try keep the damage to a minimum next time.
Kisame was just angry that Guy hadn't gotten his name right despite not meeting the man. Itachi made him seafood ramen in an attempt to get his spirits up. And then made Kisame swear never to have his sword eat him again.