Nate went down, his knees buckling, about six hours after Sara's unexplained disappearance. Fortunately for him, Behrad managed to catch him. "Yeah, you're going to sleep - you need it, dude."
"No, I need to help with the search for Sara," he insisted, glaring at him.
Behrad rolled his eyes, and with Mick's help, managed to Nate back to his room. "We'll do everything in our power to find Sara - you take a break, grieve," he ordered.
Nate glared at him but had to admit he was right (not out loud, of course - he refused to give Behrad the satisfaction). Behrad just chuckled as he and Mick departed, closing the door behind him. And that's when he finally lost the battle with the tears he had been steadfastly ignoring and pushing back against ever since Zari went back in the totem. He'd miss her, despite the fact that the other Zari was still around (hopefully for a long time) and an important part of their family. He wanted to track down Sara and kill whoever had taken her but had nothing left to give at the moment. So as he sobbed and grieved the loss of yet another person he loved, he could feel the exhaustion finally closing in on him. When he woke up about six hours later to a pounding headache (not due to the amount of alcohol they had consumed), Zari walked in and handed him some Advil. He blinked at her in confusion. "How'd you know?"
She flashed him a smile. "I told Gideon to alert me whenever you woke up. Figured you need something for the pain," she told him as he downed the pills.
Zari just grinned at him. "You're welcome. Is my presence hurting you - would you like me to get someone else?"
"Nah, sit down."
She eyed him in concern. "Are you sure? I look and sound just like the woman you love."
"Nice of you to be so considerate but this isn't my first rodeo - I lost another woman I loved, Amaya, for the greater good, and then Charlie walked around with her face for two years. This is nothing," Nate assured her.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, gaping at him in stunned silence - no one had told her that before. "What the fuck?"
He snorted. "That about covers it."
"Wow." She hesitated for a second before asking him a question that had been on her mind for a while now. "You know about me and John?"
"Everybody knows about you and Constantine - you're not exactly great secret keepers." An amused Nate chuckled at her.
"Rude," Zari huffed out before turning serious again. "Our relationship isn't too weird for you, right? We're not hurting you? Because if we are, we can dial it back a bit."
"I'd like to see you try. But seriously, Z, don't even worry about it - it's sweet that you are, though. You deserve happiness and shouldn't even have to think about my discomfort. I'll get used to it." He blinked back more tears, but knew he had to allow himself to grieve. He hadn't really done so when Amaya left or when his father died or in the aftermath of the fiasco at Heyworld. This breakdown had been a long time coming.
She patted his shoulder. "Are you hungry - do you want me to grab you something to eat?"
He didn't have an appetite but knew he did need to eat. "That'd be nice, thank you."
Zari clapped her hands excitedly. "Awesome! What do you want?" She nodded when Nate gave her a list, and then took off towards the dining room so she could use the fabricator.
Nate placed a fist on his eyes to try to stifle the sobs and failed. He cried again for a few more minutes but pulled himself back together before Zari returned. She noticed his red eyes and the tear tracks on his face but didn't say anything about it, just handed him his food. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Enjoy your comfort food." Zari gave him a half hug and then fled.
Nate still didn't have much of an appetite but he tore in his meal anyway before pushing his half-empty plate away. He didn't know how he could still have tears left but yup, definitely crying again. He hated that he was an overdramatic mess right now but he could damn well be one anyway. Still crying, he grabbed his phone and called Ray, needing to talk to his best friend. "Everything okay?" Ray questioned after a few too many seconds of silence.
"Not really," he finally croaked out.
"What's wrong? Do you need our help? Nora and I will be right there if you need us - we got your back."
"Appreciate the offer but you and Nora deserve to live your semi-normal life. I just needed to hear your voice," Nate admitted. He wasn't going to tell Ray about Sara because he didn't want to worry him.
"Aw, I miss hearing your voice too. I take it that everything is chaotic as usual? You needed a break? Tell me what's wrong, Nate - you're scaring me," Ray pressed.
"Do I have to?" Nate had called him for a distraction, not to be interrogated.
"You get your memories back from the original timeline?" he finally asked. Although Ray wasn't with them anymore, it'd probably be a little weird if he hadn't.
"Yeah - that was a shock to the system."
Nate tried to stall for a few minutes, Ray waiting patiently, and then he finally broke, everything spilling out of him like a flood. He didn't feel better once it was all out in the open but bottling it up didn't help matters much either. "Sorry," he finally apologized, his voice now hoarse.
"You don't have to apologize for your feelings, Nate - not ever. You'll get Sara back, and I'm sorry you lost Zari. I love you."
"Love you too," Nate replied.
"Nora and I will be returning to the Waverider as soon as possible because Sara's family, and she needs all hands on deck. See you soon." Then Ray abruptly hung up and the dial tone rang in Nate's ear before he too pressed the "End" button.
Nate didn't have enough energy to get up and do much of anything at the moment, which was fine. He'd resume the search for Sara with the others - Ray and Nora included now - later.