The mission was going fine.
No, scratch that. It was going great. Alex hadn't had his cover blown even once, hadn't made any irreversible mistakes, and hadn't had any near-death experiences or been tortured. Yet.
Though, of course, most of this could be attributed to the fact that he had two unsettlingly competent teenage assassins backing him up, and Sofia is a lot more terrifying than any crazy billionaire Alex has ever faced in past missions when she's mad.
And Freddy would probably kill Alex himself if he got their covers blown. He was a romantic like that.
Nonetheless, Alex was still just a few steps from the edge of having a mental breakdown. They had come to keep tabs on a certain man, and they were, quite possibly, the best people suited for the task, considering he was a teacher.
So they were sent to this hellhole of a boarding school, in the middle of Buttfuck, Nowhere, and if Alex didn't get out of this place in, oh, say, the next three minutes, he was going to punch something.
"Don't," Freddy said from across the library table.
"What?! I didn't even say anything!"
"You had that look on your face," Sofia chimed in, walking to a seat at the same table.
"The one that tells me exactly what piece of drywall you're gonna punch through," Freddy snapped back, "So sit your ass down, don't be a Kyle, and just take a deep breath, idiot."
"Did you just call me a fucking Kyle?"
"Yes, he did, now do your homework, asshat."
"There's no way you know what that means! You've been out of the hospital for, what, a couple of months? Absolutely the fuck not."
"Calm down there, Kyle, wouldn't want to knock over your Monster, would ya?" Freddy teased him.
"It's water, you ignorant slut." He whisper-shouted to the boy sitting opposite.
"Would you two kindly shut the fuck up?" Sofia seethed from two seats down.
Alex and Freddy fell silent.
"Oh, you fucking asshole!" Alex kept his voice down, trying not to attract attention to them. "Of fucking course you speak Japanese!"
"Well, there wasn't really a time where I could've just talked about it." Sofia barely acknowledged his comment, her lips twitching into a smirk. "What are you, jealous?"
"No, of course not!" Alex barely managed to keep his voice down to a whisper. "And you could've said it at literally any time, you know!"
"Shut up, golden boy, they're talking again!"
"Hey, Alex?" Freddy stared at the sky. They'd snuck onto the roof and sat up looking at the starts.
"You know I love you, right?"
Freddy's laughter eased a little of the emptiness inside Alex's heart.
"Well, this is a steaming pile of horseshit." Alex didn't bother to try and contain his sigh.
"Well, said, golden boy, well said."
"Let's get back to Jones, then. Fucking hell." Freddy added nonchalantly.
"Still hard to wrap my head around the fact that my mom is also my boss."
"Oh my god, Sofia, pull a power move and just sorta "okay, mom" her in the middle of the debrief."
"That's not a power move, golden boy."
"Just shut up."
"Stand up on your own, Freddy, I'm not your fucking armchair!"
"Hey guys, my mom's still at work and can't pick me up."
"Well," Tom said. "It seems we can use this...unique opportunity to get to know each other."
"The fuck? Why? I already know enough about Golden Boy over here and me and Freddy basically shared the same mind for a good 14 years."
"Yeah, but I'd like to get to know you guys!"
Was he-oh for fuck's sake!- Sofia pitied him. Just a little. She might as well just make it obvious now.
"I'm gay, Tom. Very, very gay. So save your advances."
Tom went red.
"Are you guys okay? I heard you from out in the hallway." Jack peered her head through the door of Alex's room.
And immediately wondered why she had ever agreed to this.
Sofia and Freddy were seemingly dying on the floor of laughter, Alex barely containing in his howling at 11 at night, and Tom was pale.
Very, very pale.
"Yeah...yeah...we're...we're fine. Just a meme." Alex added, though not without effort of trying not to break into laughter.
Jack stopped for a second.
Ben Daniels wasn't quite sure what to make of...whatever the fuck this was. He was sent in to help Cub with an arms dealer, and he would've done so and not asked any questions…
If it weren't for the fact that there were two other children there as well.
He had, obviously, asked what the fuck was going on, and had only been rewarded a side glance by the only girl and a snort from the last one.
"Alright, Cub, explain. Because we both know damn well that '6 isn't going to do that, so tell me, what the bloody fuck is going on here?"
"It's normal, Fox, just get used to it."
"Get used to MI6 using children for their operations? I don't think so. You, I can somewhat understand, but other children?"
"Fox, let me introduce you to my partners. The first one here is Sofia. The next one is Freddy. They probably had 7 ways to kill you by the time you walked in."
"It was 12, actually," The girl, 'Sofia' Ben's mind provided, added, not glancing up from the files. "Though, I mean, we were trained for it." Ben shot her a worried look. "Not by MI6. By...others."
"Others? And who might that be?"
"That's above your clearance level, Fox. Now shut up and help us, will you? We've got an arms dealer on the loose and about to be on the run and we gotta stop that before it even happens. Alright, anyone got any ideas? Any at all? Freddy?"
"Can't I just shoot him?"