Title: Fucking Ginny (literally)

Author: vickie

Genre: Humor/ Romance

Notes: This is one of my favorites. I think it's pretty funny, but then again, I have an odd sense of humor....ENJOY!... ps-please review Oh yeah, thanx to those select few who reviewed. It was a total boost for me!

5- Fucking Ginny (literally)

Ron and Hermione casually walked up the stairs leading to the dormitories. Anyone who saw them pass by in the common room could guess what they were headed up to do. By now, it was common knowledge to all the Gryffindors and everyone else at Hogwarts that Ron and Hermione were a couple, and a very serious one at that. They could be seen going up to shag every other day of the week and by now, people were used to it. Some people, like Dean Thomas, even wished them a pleasurable experience. To this, they only laughed.
When they reached the door to the boys dormitory, Ron swooped over Hermione with one quick movement of his arm and lifted her off the ground. She giggled as Ron carried her over the threshold. His arms both occupied, Ron kicked the door open as best he could. Almost immediately as they entered, Ron and Hermione heard loud surprised cries coming from Harry's bed. Harry yelled "Holy fuck!" as he jumped out of his bed. He was totally naked and quickly reached over to grab a pillow and cover himself. He stood there, shocked and nervous. Ron immediately felt embarrassed. "Sorry mate," he said as Hermione desperately tried to cover her eyes with some of Ron's robe, "I didn't know you were-" Ron stopped abruptly as he saw a flash of Red from behind the half-drawn curtain of Harry's four-poster.
Almost instantly, Ginny popped her head from behind the curtain. Ron let out a huge yell and dropped Hermione, who came tumbling to the floor, yelping in pain. Ron hardly noticed. He stared from Harry to Ginny and Ginny to Harry. "You bastard! You fucking bastard!" Harry spoke nervously. "Ron, it's not what you think-" "Like hell it's not!" interjected Ron. "I'll kill you. Get the fuck away from my sister!" Ron lunged towards Harry, red with anger. Harry lept out of the way, still gripping the pillow tightly. Ron chased Harry around the room, yelling and making swings at Harry. Ginny stuck her head out from the curtains and tried getting Ron to stop. "Ron please, stop! Please stop!" she yelled, but Ron didn't hear her. He was fit with rage and continued to yell at the top of his lungs. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" Harry backed into a chair and fell backwards over it, the pillow falling in the process, and his shlong flieing wildly in midair. Hermione gasped, torn between laughter and shock. She blushed openly.
Harry landed on the hard floor and grabbed his privates as he moaned in pain. Ron rushed over, now grabbing his wand out of his pocket and ready to aim it at Harry. Harry saw this and quickly scrambled to his feet and ran out the door, yelping in fear. Ron let out a loud groan of exasperation and paused for a moment, considering what to do. Then, as if a new dose of adrenaline and anger had hit him, Ron ran out the door with his wand ready and yelling "I'll kill you, you bastard."
Harry took the steps two at a time and ran into the common room, barely noticing half the Gryffindor student body staring at him. The girls' jaws all dropped and almost all of them blushed wildly. The boys simply grinned in amusement. Harry stood in the center of the room, wondering what to do. He could hear Ron rushing down the stairs, loudly yelling "Come back you bastard! I'm gonna blow your fucking balls off." Suddenly Ron appeared in the common room with such an angry look on his face that not even Draco Malfoy could provoke in him (that is unless he'd fucked Ginny too.) "There you are!" yelled Ron. Harry ran behind an empty chair, his balls still hanging freely. All the girls in the room craned their heads to see if they could get another glimpse of Harry squatting behind the chair. Harry looked pretty damn good. He had noticeable biceps and defined, but not exaggerated muscles across his chest, and of course, a great package. Noticing this, the girls smiled widely, imagining little stories in their heads. The boys all looked at Ron, curious as to what would happen next. They barely even noticed Harry's body.
"Ron, I'm sorry," attempted Harry. "Yeah, I bet you are. Sorry that you got caught!" replied Ron, clenching his fists. "That's not true. I don't know how it happened or why, it was an accident!" pleaded Harry. Normally, Harry wouldn't have been so scared of Ron, but, realizing his naked vulnerability, and being that he'd never seen Ron so angry, especially with him, Harry cowered behind the armchair. "How was it an accident? How could you accidentally fuck my sister?!?!" Harry poked his head from behind the chair. "I didn't mean for it to happen, honest!" he protested. Just then, Hermione and Ginny appeared in the room. Ginny was dressed, though not completely. All she wore over her knickers and bra was her skirt and blouse, which she hadn't even bothered to tuck in. She rushed over to Ron. "Ron, it's not Harry's fault, it's mine. I made the first move." She looked at him hopefully and at the corner of her eye, glanced over at Harry, worried for his safety and secretly wishing they'd gotten a chance to finish.
If possible, Ron's face got even redder, almost perfectly matching the color of his hair. "So what if you made the first move? He didn't have to go for it, did he?!?!" Ron pointed at the chair where Harry was hiding, and Harry let out a quiet whimper. 'This is stupid," he thought, "He's not going to listen to me if I'm hiding behind this stupid chair. Besides, I'm cold...' Harry stood up slowly. "Ron, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I-Ahhhhhhhh!" (As Harry spoke, Ron had raised his wand determinately at Harry with an immensely angry expression on his face. Harry saw this and freaked out.) Ron screamed "Losvarti-combusto!" From Ron's wand, came a deep blue spark, headed straight for Harry. Harry jumped out of the line of fire, revealing a very shiny and large silver pot behind him. The sparks barely missed Harry and bounced off the pot, hitting Ron instead. Ron lead out a blood-curdling scream and grabbed his crotch in agony. Hermione rushed to Ron's side. "Ron, are you okay? What did you do?" Ron was moaning loudly and the only comprehensible words that came out of his mouth were "Blew off! It gone!" Hermione looked down at Ron grabbing his crotch. She immediately understood. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed. She conjured up a stretcher and magically placed Ron on it. "Come on Ron," she said as she walked the stretcher out of the room with her wand. "I'll take you straight to Madam Pomfrey." Ron nodded in understanding, still moaning and crying, but, as he passed Harry on the way out, he looked ready and alert. "And you!" he said "This isn't over. When this is fixed, you are so fucking dead.." Then, as if another thought had suddenly occurred to him, Ron's face softened and he faced Hermione. "Th-They will fix it, right?...Right?!?" Hermione looked torn. She bit her lip and nodded, but she didn't seem all too certain. Ron ignored this and nodded in relief. Then he faced Harry and said "When this is over..." Then he returned to his moaning as Hermione led him out of the room. Harry stood completely motionless, still shaken from the events he had just partaken in. A million thoughts rushed through his head, mainly on how Ron was going to kill him. He tried not to laugh at Ron blowing his own balls off, but it was very tempting. He stared at his own body, glad everything was still in tact. Suddenly, maybe because he was observing his own nakedness, Harry remembered that he was still standing in the Gryffindor common room, with all eyes on him. He quickly tried to cover himself, but it made no difference. His partner was too big to cover completely and everyone had seen him already anyway. Some of the girls had even conjured up cameras, hoping to keep the memory forever. Harry blushed a deep red and dashed up the stairs. Ginny stood in the middle of the room with all eyes on her. People had barely noticed her up until now. It would have been hard with big bad naked Harry strutting his stuff around the room. Feeling deeply embarrassed and confused, Ginny shrugged and headed up the stairs as well. When she had gone, the entire common room burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

The end.

I'm odd, aren't I? By the way, sorry. I know these are supposed to be short stories, but sometimes I get carried away when writing. I hope it was well worth the time to read, though!