Louds In The Cradle: Chapter 13.
Having insinuated that they don't much like the way Lori has gotten the others to treat Lincoln, the parents are about to admit that things cut both ways.
Having noticed that Rita's spelling out where she thought ganging up on Lincoln for a stupid reason was going to lead, Lynn Senior thought it was the right time to do something he thought would help the girls a bit: explain that it's not quite all their fault.
"Of course, when your mother and I criticize you and your less charming character traits, we're really criticizing ourselves for having let you down a whole lot. I hold between thumb and forefinger a big nose that anticipates the stench of our failure coming back to us all the way from Fairway University in two months' time when we get a heaping helping of blubbering about 'I want to come hooooooome, Daddy! I hate it here, Daddy! People don't give a cubic nanometer of hot damn who I am, Daddy! Real life isn't like television, Daddy! I can't through my weight around like Queen Kong without getting a metric ton of pushback, Daddy! People ask me if I was raised in a freaking barn, Daddy!' because we had one job and we totally screwed the pooch."
"You act like I'm a spoiled child who doesn't know anything."
"I wasn't the one sulking because people in the real world don't want to indulge a corn-fed she-rube's fantasy that she's what happens when they put Marlo Thomas and Mary Tyler Moore in a blender and pour them into a girl with eighties hair. When I pried that outta Lincoln, it got your mother and me thinking 'Holy Damnit Christmas! She'll dissolve on contact when she enters the real world…..despite telling Lola that she's a medium-sized fish in a small pond.'"
Rita took over and said "You see, our job was to prepare you all to function in society, not act as if any societal obligations that get in the way of steam-rolling over other people with the smug, self-righteous misconception that everyone else is an extra in a great big show starring yourselves is an attempt to muzzle you. You fight like scorpions and it's our fault with garbage like the Couch Commander stupidity. If we had sense, we'd have done what the guidebooks say and have a mandatory "The idiot lantern is for the youngest child present at any given time" order and remove one means by which you do the super-disturbing 'rats in a cage' thing."
"What we're realizing just now that one of you is actually about to live on her own is how that's going to make your lives worse. You might have noticed the angry frown on people's faces when you're told that you're not allowed to use a public facility and gotten the idea that they don't get you because you're too real. That's as wrong as what you thought was happening with Lincoln and Ronnie Anne when they pulled that series of pranks on you and Bobby."
(Author's Note: I'm referencing a story from one of the graphic novels here.)
"I'm just betting that you and Mister 'Let's hole up in the kybo for fifteen minutes so I don't get yelled at' here thought you were looking at a jerk kid ginning up a sweet, innocent little girl into doing something nasty. You were half-right….you just got the gender of the person kickstarting something stupid into motion. If you remembered who Lincoln is, you'd immediately realize that it can't be him you're smacking down because he never takes the initiative. He always and only reacts to what other people do."
"Yeah. Nice, Mrs Loud. Call me a pain in the rump right in front of people."
"Don't send out as many mixed signals as you do. The only reason I don't give you the name you've earned is because I don't want to use Japanese in front of a Korean-American girl. "
"Oh….you can say 'tsundete' in front of me. I'm not my grandmother."