Author's Note: This is the reboot of the fanfic Adorable Murderbeasts. I based the team of this story on one I built while writing the original story.

The story is below, let me know what you guys think.

Arceus is a fucking asshole.

Anyone who knows Legendary Pokemon knows that most of them share that trait. In my case though, I was feeling that way out of personal rage.

I tumbled through a world of red lights, trying to reach my hands out for anything.

"You asshole!" I shouted into the void, getting no answers. I screamed it again, just to hear my voice in this empty space.

What the hell happened!?

My name is Mahmoud. Four months ago, I'd woken up in the Pokemon world. Yeah, just like that. No answers, no one to blame. Just me, in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, waking up in a Pokemon Center. I didn't even have my smartphone.

What was worse was that I'd woken up about 15 years younger than when I went to sleep.

Do you know how annoying it is to not only show up in another world, but to be a teenager again at the same time? I wasn't one of those guys who was obsessed with relieving their youth. Being an adult, having actual agency and power in my life, was something I didn't want to lose.

Instead, I was an overweight teenager again. Years of working out and building muscle, my large and glorious beard, all gone and replaced with my awkward teenage self. I was around 15 or 16ish. Just before I started taking care of myself.

I spent that first hour I was awake staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, eyes tracing my olive-brown skin and brown eyes. I'd also lost height and muscle, all replaced by a paunchy stomach that wrestling practice and years of on and off workouts would slowly erase.

I eventually left the bathroom and the room set aside to see what the world looked like.

It took about five seconds for me to realize where I was. It was right when the Onix rolled past.

He was massive. The boulders that made up his form were as wide around as I was tall. He went through the halls of the Pokemon Center with incredible grace, his body clacking together as he moved. He turned his head to look at me. In real life, those slanted eyes had a physical effect on me. The long spike on top of his head looked particularly lethal.

There's no doubt in my mind that anyone who had seen that would have done what I did. Slowly turn around and go back into my room, the Onix ignoring me as he continued to roll towards the small child calling him 'Danny'.

I'd been ROBbed. I was self-inserted. Or, in this case, inserted.

I sat in bed for a bit, just taking in the feel of the blanket under my skin. It felt real. I pinched myself. Yep, real. I stared out the window. A Fletchling was watching me through the window, the bird Pokemon cocking his head to the side.

So yeah. My first day inserted into the Pokemon world was just me freaking out at the new situation I'd found myself in. In my home universe, I'd written a few Self-Insert fanfics. One of them even involved Pokemon quite heavily. That helped me a bit.

Once I got my bearings and stopped freaking out, I managed to find the bright side of things. Well, I also had to get used to the weird hair colors. What accident of genetics makes pink hair? Or makes all Nurse Joys and Officer Jenny's share the same appearance?

The Pokemon Center I woke up in was in the middle of Galar, the region that showed up in Sword and Shield. Basically Pokemon Europe. It was kind of funny, hearing Pokemon trainers talk in Scottish, British, and Irish accents.

Sadly I hadn't gotten around to playing the Sword and Shield games, but I had one advantage. I'd been found in the woods with nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, and had spent time confused and asking dumb questions anyone would know. People assumed I was an amnesiac kid who knew nothing. I let them think that.

It let me get some free food, basic necessities, and my first Pokemon, gifted to me by a kind Nurse Joy who wanted to make sure I was protected. A Mudkip.

Mudkip was adorable. He had that big blue fin, the orange fins on his cheek, and it turned out that he liked my dumb jokes.

I didn't start off having a goal other than survival. I'd come into the world of Pokemon at a time when peace was the only thing to worry about. I wasn't the main character of some crazy Isekai novel, I was a random guy. Two people, Victor and Gloria, they were the main characters. They'd stopped the bad guys, saved the day, and made a legend of their own. The other regions had been helped in similar ways. I wasn't about to save the world. It had been saved.

So I decided to enjoy myself. I was in the POKEMON world! Once the shock stopped, I realized what a crazy awesome situation I'd found myself in. I began by training Mudkip and myself, trying to get to a state of healthiness. I learned how to work with Mudkip, to fight in trainer battles. Galar didn't really have a training school the way the other regions did. But it had casual training.

I spent time building a team and enjoying the world. While I missed my family, I knew they were safe in my world. Without a way back, I decided to just keep training until I'd become good enough to draw the attention of Dialga or some other legendary who could travel the Multiverse.

But man. The Pokemon world is beautiful. There was an untamed look to it all, breathtaking buildings, incredible landscapes. Mudkip and I visited cities that looked like the sorts of places I'd only ever seen in travel magazines. I started in the south of Galar, in a small town called Postwick. From there, Mudkip and I started north, traveling through picturesque landscapes, past rivers, and lakes, buildings, a massive city that looked like a Steampunk artist had gone nuts. Then I got to an airport and spent all the money I'd gained boarding a plane to Sinnoh. If I wanted to find a way home eventually, I'd need to head to the place where the space-time warping Legendaries lived.

It was only when I reached Sinnoh that my journey really began. And I poured my money into my Pokemon team. Without having to worry about rent, I could spend my money on food, healing, and training. Mudkip was soon joined by a Slugma that I caught. Then a Mimikyu and a Gurdurr. I got my hands on a fossil and got it revived, a process that had been mastered decades ago (Seriously, these fuckers had perfected cloning technology and they didn't use it.) That got me Tyrunt, a rambunctious and selfish little guy that I loved dearly.

The last Pokemon I got was Alakazam. I'd been looking for a beater. As much as I loved my team, I knew I'd need some real power. So I found myself an idiot. He was a frustrated guy whose Alakazam wasn't listening to him, and selling it. I found him in the Pokemon world version of EBay, and immediately put every cent I had into buying it.

The Alakazam I got was a badass. He treated me more like a rambunctious teenager than anything. But I was fine with that. Time would get us to work together.

But before I could get to work on my plans, Team Rainbow Rocket showed up in Sinnoh. The batch of morons were really just the last remnants of that team. An interdimensional team that had been created by the one Giovanni who hadn't gotten his ass kicked by a ten-year-old. And the second they showed up, I started hunting.

Interdimensional. As in, they had the tech to travel dimensions. I wanted it. I went after them with all the power I had.

The first Rainbow Rocket member I found was a grunt causing chaos in the streets of Veilstone City, wearing the familiar Rocket gear. He said something arrogant as his Raticate attacked a young woman. Gurdurr went after the Raticate, my arrogant fighting type smashing the rat with an I-beam.

And I punched the Rocket grunt in the face. I still think back on that fondly, the man staring at me in shock as he fell on his back, nose bleeding. "B-But you aren't supposed to punch other trainers!"

"You're literally attacking people in the streets. We aren't playing tournament rules, moron."

I imagine seeing a teenager beat the shit out of a crying grown man as a Raticate was turned into a tennis ball was a hilarious image.

Then, about a month after I started hunting them down… I found the device. A machine Rainbow Rocket was working on, trying to pierce the veil between worlds. A few beatdowns later, I tracked them to the caves near Oreburgh City. Me and my Pokemon rushed in as a group, fists and powers flying as we attacked them, the Grunts and their Pokemon trying to stop us. We found our way to the scientist making the device. The machine created a portal, and I got ready for a fight.

It was about then that I realized my mistake. In those four months, I'd forgotten one thing. Why had I shown up in the Pokemon world? What had brought me there?

Arceus showed up. And that motherfucker blew up the machine with a single Judgement blast, sending me tumbling through the dimensions.

Of all the convoluted fucking…

I pulled my Pokemon back into their balls just before he sent me into the portal. The last thing I saw before the red void was that smug drama llama staring at me with those wise eyes. Asshole.

And now I was cursing to myself while tumbling through nothingness.

"...The void is vast. Incredibly vast, stretching out into the horizon, farther and farther, entirely scarlet, until the mind begins to boggle at the insane size of it all… It's also boring as fuck."

I had my legs and arms crossed, sitting on nothing as I spun around and around in a world without gravity. I was scowling. Hard. All I had on me was my Pokeballs. I'd used all my potions except a couple of full restores during my run through the cave. And unlike the Pokedex wielders, I didn't have a giant bag and a thousand sponsors to help me get a small armory of items.

And no, I wasn't bitter about those spoiled badass kids.

It was in the middle of my twisting dance across nothing that I felt a force pulling on
me. I could barely feel it. But after about two hours flipping through nothingness, any change was obvious. The force I felt pushed me across the void. Or pulled me. It felt like both and neither at the same time.

"...If this doesn't send me to Earth, I'm going to lose my mind."

I hit the sidewall that did and didn't exist, because of course it had to be as confusing as the rest of the place, and went tumbling through the air.

It was about ten feet until my back slammed into the ground. Stars filled my vision as I sprawled then, scrambling and rubbing my butt and back in a vain attempt to chase away the pain.

"Ahhhhh!" I yelled in pain. "Son of a-AHHH!" I grit my teeth as I got up, looking around.

"...At least it's pretty," I said after a moment. The place I'd landed on had a perfect view of the ocean.

The sky was bright blue, with beautiful white clouds. The ocean sang as it crashed against a beach of black sand. At the edge of the beach was a forest of dark green trees, before the forest became a field of green grass. I was standing atop of a hill, letting me get a good look at it all. Another large hill was across from me, shining different shades of green from all the plants growing across it.

"...Am I in Alola?" I asked myself curiously.

It looked like the place, based on the pictures I'd seen. Same pretty beach. Same humidity.

I shrugged off the jacket I was wearing to protect me from Galar's chilly weather and rain, wrapping it around my waist. Then I took off Mudkip's Pokeball from my belt and popped it open.

The tiny mudfish Pokemon appeared in a flash of red light and the familiar 'snap-hiss!' of a Pokeball opening. He opened his eyes and looked around. On seeing me, his black eyes closed as he smiled.

"Mudkip, Mud!"

"Hey buddy," I couldn't help my smile. I kneeled down and rubber Mudkip's head, scratching at the smooth skin next to his head fin. "We've got trouble…"

"Kip?" he asked curiously.

I patted my right shoulder. Mudkip hopped up there and held on as I stood up and looked around. "This look familiar to you?"

He shook his head.

"Damn. Well, Arceus," that dick llama. "Sent us through the portal… Why?"

Mudkip and I shared a confused look. He sighed and shook his head, pointing his paw at the valley behind the beach.

"What, you want to go down there?"

Mudkip nodded. "Kip, Mudkip."

Four months of interactions made it practically second nature to understand Pokemon language, a combination of body language and tone.

In this case, Mudkip had a point. There were buildings down in the valley. And honestly, it made more sense to try and find out where we were while we discussed things. Multitasking.

I assure you, the language Pokemon use is capable of doing a lot with a few moves and sounds.

With a plan in mind, I started marching. Wherever we were, at least it was civilized. There were houses, some signs of farming, and a car rolling along. While cars weren't quite as popular as Pokemon for traveling, they were still used by those who didn't have bigger Pokemon to travel with.

Mudkip and I talked as we walked. "We were traveling for months, Mud. Months. Fighting every Rainbow Rocket we could get out hands-on in the Sinnoh region. Why, after all that, does Arceus show up out of nowhere and shove us through a portal?"


"I really doubt we did anything new to draw his attention… Or maybe he's the ROB?"

Enough time with Mudkip had led the small water to understand my slang. He frowned thoughtfully but said nothing as he looked around curiously.

We walked for a little longer before reaching a road, which I started following. We continued for several minutes, taking in the views around us. The place really was pretty. After Sinnoh and Galar's chillier climates, sunshine and the smell of the ocean in the distance gave me a skip in my step.

A truck passed us, a brown-skinned man with a straw hat and a Hawaiian shirt on driving it. He gave me and Mudkip an odd look. Mudkip waved at the man, who slowly waved back, almost swerving off the road he was so distracted.

"Mudkip?" my buddy asked.

"I don't know, man. People are weird wherever they are."

With that little bit of philosophy, I continued into the valley. We passed a few houses and people working in fields, who ignored us entirely. Soon, I saw something interesting. A tourist shop. Granted, it was called 'Waipio Valley Artworks', but I knew a tourist shop when I saw it.

I walked up, ignoring a man seated at a table as he smoked a cigar. There was a newspaper stand there. Pretty damn old school, but welcome. The man smoking a cigar stared at me as I walked up the newspaper stand. I looked at it, ready to place some Pokémon Dollars in it.

I stopped, staring. Rather than the familiar symbol I'd gotten used to next to the price there was a dollar symbol. A symbol from my world. For the currency I'd used back home.

My heart stopped, then started again, pumping harder. The thought consumed me. Home. I was home again. I stared at the symbols before me, eyes dropping to the newspaper being sold. The newspaper was called the 'Star-Advertiser'. The date was March 2nd… 2010!? I was sent back in time! What the hell?

Then I saw the headline.

"Superman Prevents Eruption!"

"..." Mudkip stared between me and the newspaper. I stepped back and sat down on the floor.

The man with the cigar took a puff. "So. What is that, a mutated dog or something?"

"Or something… You ever heard of Batman?"

"That urban legend?" the man asked.

I thought so.