It's Skunk-Fu vs Kung Fu Panda. Which one of these two martial artists Animals Of Black and White walk away alive? (Song name for the battle: Skunk Fu Panda Style!)
(Insert Wiz Boomstick song here.)
Wiz: Kung Fu, a martial arts fighting style that went down for generations.
Boomstick: But no one expected it to be in good use of these two furry warriors.
Wiz: Skunk, The Kung-Fu stinkbomb Of Skunk-Fu.
Boomstick: And Po, The Dragon Warrior Of Kung-Fu Panda. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Wiz: The Valley. A peaceful kingdom where anthromorphic Animals master the art of Kung Fu.
Boomstick: Yeah, but this Dragon guy named Dragon turned bad after being punished by God for being too arrogant, and tried to take over the Valley.
Wiz: And he would've succeeded if the great and wise Master Panda didn't receive a special gift from the heavens. A Skunk who would grow up to be the saviour of The Valley. His name was: you guessed it, Skunk.
Animal: Skunk (of course)
Martial arts: Kung Fu
Enemies: Ninja Monkeys, Baboon, Dragon
Boomstick: Well, not exactly creative on the naming, but at least Skunk makes up for it in determination.
Wiz: Through hours of training, Skunk pushed himself to become a great warrior, and the bane of Dragon.
Boomstick: And also a giant monkey. But, that's for another story. Now let's move on to his kick-ass abilities.
Wiz: He can freeze his victim in place with the Divine Hand, or shock them with lightning with the Lightning Claw. As a Skunk, He can even use his stink attack as a weapon to stun enemies.
Boomstick: How many beans does he eat everyday?
Seeing Without Seeing
Wiz: He's a Skunk, Boomstick. He was even trained to 'See Without Seeing' where he can track any incoming attacks without seeing them. Which is just as ridiculous as it sounds.
Boomstick: And, you'd think since he's a Skunk, he'd use his stink a lot?
Wiz: On the contrary, Boomstick, he can't use his stink on command.
Skunk: I can't just go on command! It only works when I'm embarrassed.
Boomstick: Seriously? How does that even work?
Gets overconfident for his own good occasionally
Heavily relies On allies in combat
Has never proved to have defeated Dragon
Stink only works when he's embarrassed, angry, surprised, or frightened.
Wiz: It's a mystery. Anyways, it's also linked to one of his greatest weaknesses. As a Ten year old, Skunk has some growing up to do. One time, he fake being ill to get out of doing chores, but regretted it when his friends took part in a huge battle.
Boomstick: And after shattering a rare artifact in The Valley, he put the blame on Ninja Monkeys. The people believed him, and soon started blaming the Monkeys for everything.
Survived crashing head first into a rock
Defeated the Ninja Monkeys
The Stink can knock down any foe
Took down a wall of Ninja Monkeys with a single Stink
Wiz: Regardless if his immaturity, Skunk has proven himself to be the protector of The Valley time and time again. When you go up against this Martial Arts Pole Cat, you better bring nose plugs, because he will Skunk you.
Baboon: I Challenge you.
Skunk (deep voice): No, I Challenge you!
Baboon: Well I Challenge your Challenge.
Skunk (deep voice): Well I Challenge your Challenge, on my Challenge... with a Challenge!
Wiz: The Valley Of Peace. This peaceful Village in China was supposed to be a peaceful Valley with Anthromorphic Animals co-exist, and some know Kung Fu.
Boomstick: Sounds familiar, huh Wiz?
Wiz: One day, a snow leopard named Tai Lung wished for a scroll for limitless power that is the Dragn Scroll. However, the great Master Oogway saw otherwise, and refused to grant it to him.
Boomstick: Which obviously pissed him off, and caused him to attack Oogway, and even the Master who raised him: Master Shifu.
Wiz: The Valley needed a Saviour. Someone who was destined to be the Dragon Warrior. Luckily, one day, he came. A young Duck named Mr. Ping found a lost baby Panda in his Radishes boxes. He took the young Bear into his care and named him Po.
Full name: Xiao Po (Little Lotus)
Age: 20Height: 6'2
Weight: 260 lbs
Invented the 'Panda Style' Kung Fu
Boomstick: This Black and White tub of fur was destined for greatness. It practically was the moment he unintentionally brought the Furious Five together!
Wiz: One rocket chair incident later, he was chosen by the great Master Oogway to become the Dragon Warrior, and be the chosen one to learn of the Dragon Scroll.
Boomstick: But Shifu didn't see it that way and pushed Po through gruelling training. With his insane durability, Po can survive a real beating. Especially when he once got hit in his...
Po: *groans* My tenders.
Boomstick: He took it like a champ.
Wuxi Finger Hold
Golden Lotus Clap
Fluttering Finger Mindslip
Feet of Furry
Thundering Wind Hammer
Wiz: Not only is his durability impressive, he also picked up some impressive Kung Fu moves over his training at the Jade Palace. Like the Fluttering Finger Mindslip, a technique which causes the victim to lose their memory. The Nerve Attack stuns it's victims, The Golden Lotus Clap causes blindness to all who see it, even the user if their eyes are open.
Boomstick: Let's not forget my personal favourite attack: The Thundering Wind Hammer, which is just as badass as it sounds. The Wind Hammer is strong enough to throw victims like Temutai the King of the Quigon over the horizon. Also, there's the Mongolian Fireball where he hurls a huge orb of flames at you.
Wiz: But, there is one move that stands out for the rest: The Wuxi Fingerhold. A hold which can send you to the Spirit Realm. But, spiritual warriors like Kai can resist it. Now, let's move on to Po's weaknesses. He is kinda only motivated by food.
Po: My fist hungers for justice. *stomach rumbles* That was my... fist.
Doesn't take things seriously
Boomstick: What's more, this hairy bag of jelly is kinda undisciplined when it comes to seriousness. He gets sidetracked easily, and he gets too overconfident for his own good, someone who we were talking about recently.
Wiz: Regardless of his immaturity and glutton, Po has proven himself over and over. Protecting his home from dangers time and time again.
Defeated Tai Lung, Lord Shen, Kai, The Crocodile Bandits
Took a war hammer to the face and survived
Survived falling down the Jade Palace steps occasionally
In the words of the Furious Five "Fell out of the sky in a ball of fire"
Learned the Wuxi Fingerhold and discovered the Dragon Scroll's secret by himself.
Wiz: And out of all, he has truly proved himself worth of the title of The Dragon Warrior.
Boomstick: Also the title of being lazy.
Po: Wanna get something to eat?
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
The scene is a wide field where Po is admiring the views.
Po: So, what will come next for The Dragon Warrior?
Suddenly, Skunk was hiding behind a rock, then came from behind it, and spoke.
Skunk: So, you're this so-called Dragon Warrior?
Po: Huh? (Sees Skunk) Oh, yes I am.
Skunk: So, you are working for Dragon?!
Po: Who is Dragon?
Skunk: Don't play that game with me! I know you're working for Dragon! Now, I get to prove myself by fighting Dragon's warrior! (Takes a fighting stance)
Po: Uhh, okay.
Skunk lunged at Po with a High Kick attack, only to end up bouncing off Po's stomach, and crashing on the floor.
Po: You don't wanna do this, kid.
Skunk: No one calls me kid!
Suddenly, Skunk released a Skunk cloud at Po's face. Po began coughing and gasping for clean air.
Skunk: I have you now! Divine Hand!
Skunk jumped at Po to use the Divine Hand, and would of done so if Po wasn't swinging his arm around, and ended up clothes lining Skunk into a tree.
Po: I gotta get out of this cloud!
Po escaped the Skunk cloud by using Panda stumble, and unbeknownst to him, he was heading towards Skunk.
Skunk: You have got to be kid...
He would've been able to finish his sentence if Po didn't run him over with the Panda Stumble. Fortunately, Skunk landed next to a long bamboo stick, which he got the idea to use as a weapon against Po.
Just as Po stopped stumbling, Skunk lunged at Po, bamboo staff in hand, and attempted to strike Po with it. Unfortunately for Skunk, Po ducked down, and found another bamboo staff.
Po: Let's just stop this before either of us get hurt or worse.
Skunk: *grunts* Not until I finish you!
The two had a sword-duel like battle with the staffs.
Skunk: Not bad. But have you had enough?
Po: I've had enough of your stubbornness, kid.
Skunk: I'll show you stubborn!
Skunk released another Skunk at Po's face, but Po rolled away from the cloud just in time.
Po: Right! That's enough!
Po ran, and rolled behind Skunk, and ripped Skunk's tail right from his body. Skunk screamed in pain.
Po knew that it was time to finish Skunk off. Po jumped really high into the air, then began to head down to earth, rear-end first. Skunk stopped screaming to figure out why there was a shadow around him. He looked up to see Po about to land on him.
Skunk: Aw shi-
Skunk would've been able to finish if Po didn't crash into him, causing an explosion, and rock flying around.
When the dust cleared, Po was seen sitting in a ditch. Skunk's tail began to blow away in the wind. When Po stood up, his trousers were stained in Skunk's blood, and his crushed corpse.
Po: Ew! I just had these dry cleaned!
Po scooped off Skunk's corpse from his trousers, and ran off.
Boomstick: What a way to go out, being crushed under a Panda's ass.
Wiz: Skunk's smaller size did make the battle quite tedious for Po, but Po had the edge in practically every other category.
Boomstick: Skunk had his fair share in Kung Fu skills, but Po's are just way more powerful. Po could match Tai Lung, who single handedly defeated 1,00 Rhinos. Skunk stood no chance in the strength department. And while both have shown impressive feats like defeating giant Monkeys and finishing off foes with their Kung-Fu, Po's feats blew Skunks out of the water, and then some.
Wiz: Plus, you'd think given his smaller size would give Skunk the speed advantage right? Wrong? Skunk has never shown incredibly fast attacks like Po learning the Thundering Wind Hammer, which blew Temutai across China. What's more, Po can certainly take a lot of punishment, and has shown to have overpowered enemies Skunk himself has never proved to defeat. With Po's insane durability, it was unlikely Skunk could bearly even hurt Po, let alone kill him.
Boomstick: That Panda is on a whole new level of power. What's more, he had a ton of ways to counter everything Skunk threw at him. The Skunk ability? Po's dealt with much worse. Use bamboo as a weapon? Po can do that too. Stun him with the Divine Hand? Po's got a Nerve Attack that does practically the same thing.
Wiz: And that's not even the biggest thing! Po also had a ton of ways to take Skunk down for good. For instance, Po could've sent Skunk to the Spirit Realm with the Wuxi Fingerhold, or incinerate him with the Mongolian Fireball. And most of all, Skunk has never canonically defeated Dragon, while Po took down a Dragon who was immune to the powers of Kung Fu. While Skunk may have put up an excellent battle that would've made his Dojo proud, he wasn't able to counter the Dragon Warrior's strength, speed, durability, and Kung Fu abilities.
Boomstick: Looks like Skunk got Powned! (The joke is 'he got owned' but it has a P at the beginning, and the opponent was Po.)
Wiz: The winner is Po.
Po: Sweet. (That quote was from the intro of Kung Fu Panda Legends Of Awesomeness.)
Questions for RedHood123, out of curiosity, what console do you play BFBBR on? And, who do you think is going to win the next Death Battle (Plankton vs Dr. Kamikazi)?