Gio: Well, judging by the one at the fair being very funny, I assume this one's going to be funny too.
Kim: Valid point there, Gio. Oh! (Notices the lobby lights go dark, leaving the stage lights on.)
Ron: This is going to be good! (Gets comfortable a midge more, excited to watch)
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the comedy show. This show will be 2 hours and 40 minutes of nothing but fun and laughter.
Ron: (Gulps) Gio, is there a halftime or something?
Gio: Yes, according to my ticket, there is an intermission at the 1 hour and 20-minute mark
Kim: Thank goodness! Oh, I think something is happening! (Sees curtains on stage flutter as they open slowly)
(The curtain rises up and reveals a setting that resembles the university's cafeteria. Raj, Lenoard, Sheldon, and Howard were having lunch together at a table. The setting was also full of extras (ensemble members) sitting at tables having lunch too...)
Kim: This is going to be interesting. (Hums in thought)
Sheldon: Gentlemen, I think I've come up with a fun way to get young people interested in science! Mad Libs! Now...(looks at Leonard) Give me a number.
Leonard (shrugs): 5.
Sheldon (looks at Howard): And...an irrational constant?
Howard (shrugs): E.
Sheldon: And...(looks at Raj) A funny Greek letter.
Sheldon: I said a funny one...
Sheldon (nods and writes everything down): Good one...and...an electrical charge...
Sheldon (chuckles): Alright! (finishes writing everything down): Okay, get this...(holds up note pad and reads from it): Professor Jones told the symposium he had a new method for calculating the mass of a muon five times the limit...(laughs) of E to the Poopsivan as a...(bursts out laughing and can't finish)
Ron: Poopsivan?! (Laughs as he joins in with everybody else)
Sheldon: Wait, I'll start over...(tries to read it again) Professor Jones...(bursts out laughing)
Howard: I haven't seen him laugh that hard since the day Leonard made that multiplication error.
Sheldon: Oh! Oh, Lord! That multiplication error! He thought he carried the 1, but he didn't! (laughs)
Leonard: Hey, it's not funny. That mistake got published!
Sheldon (laughs): Stop! I'm gonna fart myself! (laughs)
(Suddenly, the actor playing President Sebard, the dean, entered the setting...)
Raj: Guys, President Sebard is heading this way!
Howard: I wonder what he wants?
Lonard: He doesn't look very happy, so it must be something to do with Sheldon...
President Sebard (approaches table): Dr. Cooper...
Lenonard: Told ya!
Kim: Ooh...Sheldon's in trouble! (sing-songing)
Sheldon: Oh, President Sebert. I assume you are here to respond to one of the suggestions I've put in the box by your office.
President Sebard: No...and stop installing suggestion boxes everywhere!
Ron: (Snickering) You can't tell Sheldon nothing.
Sheldon (folds arms): You don't like written suggestions, you don't like when I give them to you while you're urinating in the men's room...Hey, if I didn't know any better, I say that you're one of those stubborn people who are not open to suggestions!
President Sebard: Dr. Cooper, the physics department chair tells me that you're refusing to take your vacation.
Sheldon: But I don't need a vacation!
President Sebard: You are obligated to take one! And I also would like you to know that the most often received suggestion, in my suggestion box you installed without asking me, is "Dr. Cooper Taking a vacation!". (grins)
Kim: Sheldon, he may need a vacation...
President Sebard: Okay, it's settled then. I'll see you all on Monday...except for you. (points to Sheldon) Bye, now! (begins to talk away)
Sheldon: But if I don't come into work, what am I supposed to with myself?
President Sebard (turns around): Read, rest, travel...I hear Afghanistan is nice this time of year! (walks out of view)
Ron: Oof. Maybe the other guys has some ideas.
Sheldon: Was he being sarcastic?
Leonard: Noooo...you should go!
(And then, the lights dimmed as the skit ended...) Kim: That was good work! (Rufus squeaks in agreement)
(A large black banner came down, and covered the entire set. Then, a child actor playing the younger version of Sheldon entered stage left, and rolls in front of him, a table with a telephone on it...)
Young Sheldon: Hello, everyone. Tonight as a break from doing typical skit stuff which you will still get around to later, I am going to make random prank calls to real life phone numbers.
Kim: Prank calls?
Ron: That's interesting.
(Sheldon picks up the phone and dials a random number, putting It on speaker for all to hear...)
Sheldon (dials number): Now, this one is random, but let's hope it works...
(As the dial tone is heard, everyone waits in anticipation. Meanwhile in the Fiske Castle in England, Monkey Fist was training with the Ninja Monkeys when suddenly, the phone rang...)
Monkey Fist: Come on! I am in training! Ah, you, hand over the phone! Better not be Drakken again. (Ninja monkey nearest the phone, picks it up, and hands it to Monkey Fist)
Monkey Fist: Who is it?
Young Sheldon: Hello, this is the tax collector of England. You have yet to declare anything for your taxes this week so unfortunately, I'm going to have to repossess all your stuff in 2 hours.
Monkey Fist: What?! Impossible! I am the lord of my manor!
(In the theater, everyone heard everything, and Ron's eyes widened...)
Ron: KP, it's Monkey Fist...
Kim: You're right, I would recognize that accent anywhere.
Sheldon: Well, sir, you're so dumb and stupid since the repossession is in an hour!
Monkey Fist: Why, you thief! I paid the taxes! You won't take my manor if I'd do anything about it!
Sheldon: And what are you gonna do!? Track this call?!
Monkey Fist: (Smirks) Oh, I will tell you on your boss! Now I believe I have the company's number somewhere. Let's see..(Hums) Was it on the refrigerator or was it in the phone notebook?
Sheldon (Laughs): This was a prank call, moron! I'm no tax collector! And I'm in Middleton, and you'll never find my exact location!
Monkey Fist: (Growls) Stoppable, if it was you, I am so going to enjoy the future battle! Now stop interrupting my training! (Crashes the phone into the platform, and there was then a sound of static. Everybody in the stadium gapes, and stares in shock)
Ron: He's definitely going to be pissed...
Sheldon (Hangs up): What a crazy man! Oh, well, It's not like he will follow through...right? (Shakes head) Anyway, next random number...(dials another one)
(Over At Duff's island, he was about to hit a golf ball on his course when his phone rang...)
Duff: Oh! I was going for the shot! Darn it! (Scoffs as he then picks his phone up) Who is it? (Mutters under his breath) Please, not DNAmy...
Yound Sheldon: Hello, sir, this is the police chief! You're being arrested!
Duff: What? I have security traps! (runs over to the camera podium, punches buttons) Ha, there's no police! Confess, liar! And don't even bother in begging! I am the greatest golfer ever!
Kim: (Raises eyebrow) Yep, that's Duff. There's no other person who brags like him.
Ron: Is it just me or is his accent thicker?
Kim: Anger makes his accent thicker, I guess.
Young Sheldon (laughs): This is a prank call! Sir, you got pranked! But I'm not going to call you a name.
Duff: Stop pranking me then! If you'll excuse me, I have a hole to score! (Puts phone down, and it hanged up, leaving everybody in the theater to shrug.)
Ron: Boy, sounds like Duff's in a fix to beat his highest score in golf.
Kim: At least that means he's busy for the summer...I think...
Young Sheldon: And now, one more...(dials a random number)
(In the lair, Shego walked down to the dungeon below the lair with 2 bowls of cold oatmeal. She then slipped them through the cell bars to Dean and Lillian...)
Shego: Be glad that we don't serve terrible slop like some prisons do. (Frowns)
Lillian: Yes, ma'am.
Dean: (Scoffs) Ron makes oatmeal better!
Lillian: (Nudges Dean hard in the ribs) Dean, please don't aggravate the woman!
Shego: At least one of you has manners. (Smirks)
Shego: And in a day or two, Gio will bring Kim and Ron here to meet their deaths! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! I sure can raise a kid!
Lillian: (Sighs in submission) Yes, ma'am. You have taught him well...If Gio hadn't been born into villainy, he would have made a great actor on Broadway...
Shego: (Grins) That'd be a sight to see!
Dean: (Snorts) Yeah, right.
Shego: (Lits her hands up) Do you doubt the destiny of my son?! (Glares at Dean)
Dean: (Shrinks back with a cowed look) No, no.
Shego: That's what I thought. (Raised eyebrow)
(Suddenly, Shego's phone rang and she picked it up...) Shego: Hello?
Young Sheldon voice: Hello this is...Dr. Jim at the hospital. I regret to inform you that your child has just passed away.
Shego: (Growls) First of all, it's Dr. Ann Possible for a doctor I'd know, and there's no Dr. Jim, and second, I have no children. Third, you're a kid, pranking. So, quit it! (Hangs up roughly)
Kim: Yep, that's Shego, sassy and rough.
(The scene cuts to an hour into the show's first act, when the skit from the fair occurred as normal, taking place in the living room and kitchen setting of Sheldon's apartment. Penny is seen dancing to some radio music at the kitchen counter, making French toast. As she does, Sheldon enters stage left in a bathrobe, noticing this dance...)
Penny: Morning, Sheldon! Come dance with me! (dances around some more)
Sheldon: No...(walks over to the radio)
Penny: But why not?! (stops dancing)
Sheldon (turns off the radio): Well, while I subscribed to the "Many Worlds Theory", which poses the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons and an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them, am I dancing.
Penny (rolls eyes): Are you FUN in any of them?
Sheldon: The math would suggest that in a few, I'm a clown made of candy...
Penny (pause awkwardly)
Sheldon: But I don't dance. (shrugs)
Penny: Alright...(holds up slices of egg-soaked bread) Want some French toast?
Sheldon: It's oatmeal day...
Penny (lowers bread slices): I'll tell you what...the next French toast day, I'll make you oatmeal!
Sheldon: Dear Lord, are you still going to be here on French toast day?!
(As the skit continued, Leonard entered stage left with a bathrobe on, approaching the kitchen part of the set...)
Leonard: Morning! (fills a mug with coffee)
Sheldon: Look, Leonard, Penny made us French toast!
Leonard (places coffee pot down): Sorry, I haven't given her your schedule yet.
Sheldon: It's an ICal download! She can put it right on her phone!
Leonard (sighs and takes plate of French toast)
Sheldon: I thought we agreed that you have your conjugal visits in her apartment.
Leonard: We did, but there were extenuating circumstances!
Sheldon (nods): I see. Did her abysmal housekeeping skills finally tromp her perkiness?
Ron: (Chuckles) Never gets old.
(Suddenly, before the skit could continue, a hole suddenly was created in the ceiling above the stage, and a rope came down. Monkey Fist and 10 ninja monkeys appeared, all sliding down the rope...)
Monkey Fist: I am glad that I am a night owl, otherwise I wouldn't have tracked the pranking call down! Now, Middleton, enjoy the show as my ninjas attack. Boys, go your best! (Cackles as ninja monkeys went into the stage, destroying the props while kicking and punching the actors)