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Brenda sat on the floor of her now very empty and dark house, wondering what in hell she was going to do about sleeping tonight. She looked at her watch realizing that it was already midnight. It had taken forever to get the stuff the movers left behind into the trailer she was pulling back to Georgia. All that was left here was a chair she didn't want to take back to Atlanta and a hideous lamp that Fritz had left behind six months ago when he took off to who knows where. That lamp was not going anywhere near her new apartment. The house was sold, she figured the new people could take care of the last two items for her. Brenda leaned back against the wall, everything had changed in less than a year.
Her momma died and Brenda had left the LAPD. Fritz left a few months after that saying that they obviously wanted different things. Since she was no longer working every hour of the day, Fritz thought that meant they would have kids and live in the suburbs like a happy little family. That just wasn't in her cards. So, he had left and she had stayed. Being alone again had been hard in the beginning, but she had found her rhythm and gotten into a routine.
Brenda hit her head against the wall and sighed. What she really meant was she had gotten into a routine with Sharon. Late night dinners, hanging out around the house together, picking out paint colors, shopping, drinking wine...laughing, hugging, crying, comforting, admiring each other. It was one of the best friendships she had ever had, it certainly had meant more to her than any other relationship in her adult life. The feeling in her stomach made her more nauseous as she thought about Sharon. She knew why, but she was too stupid to admit it to the person that needed to hear it. Brenda hit her head against the wall again.
Three weeks ago, Brenda had one too many glasses of wine as she listened to Sharon talk about her day and why she was so upset. To be completely honest, she was well on her way to drunk before Sharon called. When the Captain had finally wound down and they grew quiet for a moment, Brenda laid back on her bed feeling light headed. "Do you sleep on the left or right side of the bed?" she asked. It wasn't unusual for her to ask an off the cuff question, but tonight for some reason it felt different.
"The right side," Sharon said softly.
"That's good. I sleep on the left…" Realizing she said that outloud Brenda sat up straight wondering what in the hell she should say to back track.
"Brenda?" Sharon questioned, and Brenda could just picture her face, eyebrows raised, mouth ajar in shock.
"I'm drunk. I should prolly go...I hope your night gets better." Brenda hung up the phone quickly, flopping back down on the bed, groaning at her slip.
It wasn't the first time one of them had alluded to something more than friendship between them, but it was the first time Brenda knew something had changed within herself when it came to Sharon. She wanted the older woman. Brenda wanted to be close to her, she wanted to wake up next Sharon, and she wanted to kiss the other woman. More than anything, Brenda knew she had moved past pure lust, and into the vicinity of the most dangerous four letter word in the English language.
This move to Atlanta was not spontaneous or a result of anything between her and Sharon. Her daddy wasn't doing very well and Brenda felt that she had spent enough time avoiding her family throughout her life, maybe now was the time to go make up for some of it. Clay had told her she didn't need to come home, he was fine, but she wanted to be there for him. Problem was, now sitting in her empty house, knowing she was leaving tomorrow, she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure she could leave Sharon behind without knowing if it was going to be the biggest mistake of her life or not. Too many times Brenda had run away from the situation when it felt messy and confusing. She didn't want to keep making the same mistakes.
Sharon hadn't tried to stop her though, the Captain had even been supportive of the decision. Sharon was always understanding and supportive though. It was one of the many things Brenda loved about her. She even promised to come visit soon, and Brenda believed her. It wasn't like other people who said they would call and she knew they wouldn't. When Sharon said she would do something, she meant it. She was stable and reliable. Brenda smiled. Sharon was beautiful inside and out, once you got to see through the icy Captain Raydor persona.
Brenda and Sharon were supposed to go to dinner tonight. Sharon had called it a farewell dinner, a proper send off. However, the wonderful people of Los Angeles had caused the Captain to be called in and she hadn't been able to make it. On the phone, Sharon had been apologetic, even when it was unnecessary because Brenda more than anyone else understood. In fact, it was kind of fitting.
Brenda was just about to get up off the floor and decide what hotel to check into when a soft knock on her door made her jump. She froze, it was after midnight and she was here alone.
"Brenda Leigh," more knocking, this time a little more insistent. "Brenda!"
She jumped up off the floor and scrambled to the door. Swinging it open, she was greeted with the sight of Sharon Raydor in all her glorious, well put togetherness. Even after working for more than 20 hours, the woman looked beautiful.
"Thank God, you're still here!" Before she knew what was happening, Sharon wrapped her in a hug. Brenda immediately returned the gesture, relishing in the warmth of the other woman's embrace.
"What happened, Shar? Are you ok?"
"I thought I was too late." Sharon pulled back, looking into her eyes. Brenda saw something that hadn't previously been there. They broke apart and Brenda took a step back.
"I'm not leavin' until tomorrow. I told you that." She shrugged trying to show that she was confused.
"About that. Don't go Brenda Leigh. Stay here...in LA…"
"With me. For me."
They watched each other for a moment. The look Sharon was giving her, she understood it now. Sharon was in the same place she was. There was something there that neither one was really ready to let go of.
"I sold my house. I've been talkin' about moving for months now...Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave you finally ask, no you tell me not to…" Brenda was relieved she was being asked to stay, but it was in her genes to push back.
"Brenda-I am not telling you." She sighed, but there was a smirk on her face, like she had expected this. "Brenda Leigh Johnson, please, will you stay in Los Angeles, with me?"
Brenda half smiled, "And Capt'n why would you want me to do a thing like that?"
"Because of this," and Sharon leaned in and kissed the blonde. It was magical, and Brenda wondered why in the hell they hadn't been doing this all along. They kissed until they couldn't breathe.
"You make a compelling case Capt'n. Very compelling."
She had no idea what she was going to do about all her stuff the movers had taken or about her daddy, but she did know that she just had to stay here, with Sharon. She needed to know what would happen next.