Bakura's Journal

By Liz

Sometimes, I get bored. And when I get bored, I sometimes look through some of the old thing that I used to do. And then, I get really bored, and I decide to update something that hasn't been touched in a long time.

You know, Journal, I think that I dislike jail.

This guy, he keeps looking at me! Licking his lips in such a disgusting way that it disgusts me! Disgusting!

I have not yet put together a plan for escape. I have though of it, however, as I sit in this corner, far away from the edge of the cell. BACK OFF I SAY.

Some people might call me crazy. Jail does that to people, you know. It makes them see crazy things in their sleep. Like ghosts. Or food.

Speaking of food. This reminds me of this one time I was in a grocery store! There I was, minding my own business as I was shopping, pushing my cart along. And by "pushing the cart" I mean "running down the aisles", and by "minding my own business" I mean "shouting".

Anyway, I was pushing my cart around looking for random foodstuffs that I could steal—I mean buy…yes—for dinner that night. Ryou put me in charge of collecting certain items for the dinner, he even gave me a list! I told him that I was quite good at collecting things and went my way.

Well, as I was there I ran into the PHARAOH. He was shopping with that Yuugi of his, and they were so stuck together that you would think they were Siamese twins. Honestly! It was creepy. Even more creepy than some TV shows that I watch in the daytime. Some people can't even decide what gender they ARE as opposed to what gender they LIKE.

So they were all stuck together and stuff. I followed quietly behind them, hiding behind my list of food objects so they couldn't turn around and see me.

They then suddenly started making out! In the middle of the cereal aisle! I was mortified, horrified, and just plain disgusted. Tongue and everything!

I glanced over my item list just slightly, as to not give away who I was. But they weren't even paying attention to me anyway. So I started ramming my cart into theirs.

"Excuse me!" I yelled. "Some people are trying to shop here!"

When that failed miserably, I decided to take more drastic measures. The kind that I use in drastic situations at drastic times. Like killing. With my knife.

But this time I just decided to knock them over. I shoved the pathetic wimp right over, and then I pushed Yuugi too. They fell on the floor screaming obscenities about how I shouldn't just "do that" and to "leave them alone". To which I replied "No."

This angered the Pharaoh, because he is always angered when he realizes that I am better than him. Which it's true.

He stood up and yelled something at me. I wasn't listening because I usually don't listen to people who suck.

Then he punched me! Erm…I mean…I punched him, and he fell on the ground and cried like a baby. It hurt! I mean…he must have been hurt.

Forget this story! I must come up with a way to break out of prison. The trial isn't going very well for me, and I need to find some other way to get out of my "responsibilities for my actions", or so my lawyer says.

If only I had all the items, then I could get away! I could get away with anything I wanted, such as murder, torture, and making out with Ryou without him saying "Not tonight I have a headache", or "Sorry, I really just don't want to right now".

Speaking of people not getting any, I imagine that the Pharaoh isn't going to get any for a long time! MWAHAHA.

Maybe I should come up with some kind of awesomely sad sob story to get me out of here. I could claim neglect as a child! I can see it now!

"Oh poor me! My parents never loved me when I was younger!" Says the hot and sexy Me. "Boohoo!"

"Oh you poor thing!" The not-as-good-looking-as-me judge would say. "I'm dropping all the charges!"

"Hurray!" cheers Me.

"Nooooo!!" Yells the really-not-as-good-looking-as-me PHARAOH as he falls on the ground crying. "Why!? WHY!?"

"Because." Says Me as I kick him in the face. MWAHAHAHA.

It is an epic plan without fail.

…quit looking at me you child molester! Yes, you! In that cell over there! Why do you think I'm in the freaking corner you idiot!

NO! STAY BACK! Quit reaching over here you sick pervert! My body belongs to me! Only I have the authority to take advantage of people! Like Yuugi!

…I mean…not like Yuugi!

…I mean…uhm…


Wait, he can't get me! We're in two completely separate cells. Silly me, Journal. And to think I might have actually been afraid.

…where's my eraser!? Afraid!? Me!? HA! I am Bakura the Awesome! I am afraid of NOTHING!

..EEEK GET AWAY! GUARDS! He's escaped! Someone! Get him away! HE'S OUT OF HIS CAGE!


plz review kthx