Disclaimer and Spoilers: See Chapter 1
A/N: Yeah, well, that's it. This is officially the last chapter of this fanfic. Thanks for those who read it all, it really means a lot that people like this enough to read all 12 chapters. I hope I didn't disappoint too many of you.
Thanks a lot for all the reviews I got and thanks for the support along the way.
Special thanks to Kasman for surviving the beta of all chapters. She really spared you a lot :-)
12. EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE
It didn't take them long to leave the little town in which they had stayed and soon they were on the wider road that led toward the highway.
Neither of them spoke for the next few minutes, both of them too engrossed in their thoughts about what had happened.
I still can't believe how much had changed since yesterday. We're going home together and everything's different. Max wants to be with me, wants us to be together. Together. This is still so incredible. She saw it all, literally, and she still wants me to be together with her. She really seems to be okay with it all. Said she doesn't want to be without me. What else could I wish for?
He's so cute when he's looking like that. When he pretends to be completely focused on his driving but I know that he's not. He's thinking about something else and I believe it's us. Just look at how he smiles. How his perfect teeth shine behind those perfect lips…his lips...Focus, Max, focus. He's driving and you don't want to get killed. I can't believe how much happened this weekend. And it's really the first time I'm thankful for my seizures. If I hadn't had them and if Logan hadn't come to save me, maybe we still wouldn't talk to each other. And now look at us. We're here, in this car, going back to Seattle. It feels like a completely new life. Because of him.
Logan smiled when he realized that Max had been watching him. She had a smile on her lips that gave him butterflies in the stomach. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked.
Max shook her head. "They're not worth that much. Thinking about you. And us."
He smiled at her. She's thinking about us and smiling like that. That's so great. "Looking forward to Seattle?"
She shrugged. "Not really. I'm definitely not looking forward to Normal bipping us around and I'm not looking forward to sector checkpoints and cold showers in my crib, but I am looking forward to meeting Original Cindy and the Jam Pony gang."
"You're going to tell her? About us?" Logan asked carefully. What if she doesn't? What if she wants this to be a secret?
"Of course, what are you thinking? She'd kill me if she found out without me telling her straight away. And of course I want to tell everyone. I know this might sound girly, but I'm proud that we're together. I want to show you around, I want everyone to see that we're together."
Logan grinned. She wants to show me around. That IS girly, but I love it. "What happened to Ms. 'Maybe weddings should be held in secret'?"
Max smiled at him, a smile that spread throughout her whole face and even her whole body. Logan could have sworn he would have known she was smiling even if he'd only seen her from behind when she said, "She fell in love with the right guy."
She fell in love with me? Did she really just say that she's in love with me?
Max grimaced. Hope I didn't scare him. But no, he doesn't look scared. More… pleased.
"I'm in love with you too, you know," Logan said, his eyes meeting hers before returning to the street in front of them.
She didn't answer but Logan felt her hand on his arm, slowly caressing him. He didn't need more confirmation, and with a silly grin on his face he continued driving.
When they reached the sector checkpoint on the outer perimeter of the city of Seattle, Logan asked, "Wanna come home with me or do you want me to drive you to your place?"
"Definitely come with you. I'd like to take a hot shower before I return to reality, and my Sweetheart is at your place too."
"Want to stay for dinner?"
"I was hoping you'd say that."
They had to pass another two checkpoints before Logan parked the car in the garage of Fogle Towers. Max jumped out and went to the trunk, waiting for Logan to transfer and join her. She gave him his travel bag and threw hers over her shoulder before taking the almost empty box.
"I can take your bag," Logan said.
"I know, but I'm stronger than you," Max replied, winking.
Logan inhaled as if to speak, but then shrugged.
Let her carry the luggage. She IS stronger than I am, so why bother? Gender roles will not work in this relationship, that's for sure. But who cares? We'll just play by our own rules.
He wheeled toward the elevator and pressed the button. The doors opened immediately and he indicated for Max to enter. "Ladies first," he smiled.
"A real gentleman," she laughed and went first.
When they reached the penthouse and Logan opened the door, it was again Max who entered first. She put the box onto the kitchen counter and threw her travel bag in the hallway. Then she let herself fall onto the sofa and sighed, "Finally home."
Home? Did I just say home? This is Logan's home, not mine. But I guess I spend so much time here…A girl can have two homes, right?
She considers this home? Logan asked himself. That's great. I wish it would be her home too, but I know that's way too early. Maybe someday this will really be our home, but for now it's mine and I'll see what I can do to make her feel comfortable.
"Do you want to take a bath while I make dinner?" he asked her.
She looked at him and smiled. "Yeah, that'd be cool. Do you have bubbles?"
Logan shrugged. "I have no idea. But maybe under the sink. So enjoy yourself and relax. And if you want to, leave your dirty clothes here, I can put them in the washing machine."
"Ah, that's so sweet," she laughed and stood up only to sit down on his lap again. Wrapping her arms around his neck she kissed him and said, "Thanks, Logan. I'll just throw my stuff in front of the washing machine."
He rubbed her back and nodded, then watched as she jumped up again and disappeared with her bag. Logan finally took the time to look around in his apartment like he always did when he came home and to his relief found everything unchanged.
Yet it all looks so different, he thought. I don't know if that's the good weather - we're still able to see outside the windows because the days are getting longer - or because I haven't been anywhere other than a hospital for so long, or maybe it's because of Max. They say that a new love is like a new life and maybe that's right. I've been living in this apartment for so long, but it's never looked as wonderful to me as it does today, when I know that the woman I love is in my bathroom, taking a bath in my bathtub and is going to have dinner with me. Our first dinner here since everything changed. Or maybe things haven't changed that much. She's been hanging around here for so long, so I should really be used to it. But today it just feels different. It feels so light, so happy, without any dark thoughts. So maybe it's me? Maybe it's not the apartment but just me who is different today? Maybe this is what if feels like when you're not either engrossed in your work or pitying yourself?
Logan grabbed his travel bag and went to the washing machine, where he found the small pile of clothes Max had been wearing on the trip. He separated the dark from the white clothes, and, since the dark pile appeared to be the larger one, he threw those in the washer first. When the water started to run and the machine started to tumble the clothes, another thought crossed his mind.
I had the chance to look at Max's lingerie but I didn't. Now all her underwear is together with her and my other clothes in that washing machine. He then smiled. I hope we'll get the chance to get our underwear that close together again. Not while doing the laundry, but… Wake up, Logan. It took you almost a year to kiss her for the first time, so don't even go there. One step after the other. There'll be plenty of time for those things later in our relationship.
He then went to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. There was still some food in his fridge, in the box they'd brought back and in the closet. Looks like Max didn't take everything on our little trip. He decided on casserole and started chopping vegetables. Just when everything was ready and he had put the casserole into the oven, Max reappeared from the bathroom, wearing his red bathrobe.
Logan smiled at her and said, "You look beautiful!"
She grinned. "Yeah, sure. My hair is wet, my face hasn't seen any makeup for the whole weekend, my nails are busted…"
He grinned widely at her attempt at being all girly, but didn't believe a word she said. So he interrupted her, "…and you're wearing my bathrobe, I know. But you look absolutely gorgeous, so shut up and kiss me."
Gorgeous? I love it when he's complimenting me. Don't know why it affects me like that. Maybe because I know that he's being honest.
Max smiled and obeyed before she asked, "What's for dinner?"
"It's already in the oven. I'm going to take a shower, okay?"
Max went to the living room and sat down on the couch, reading one of the computer magazines she found on the coffee table. It wasn't exactly entertaining, but she didn't care. She just needed to kill the time until Logan was finished.
When he wheeled toward her a couple of minutes later, he was wearing baggy cargo pants and a sweater, which was his version of a sweat suit, but to Max he looked hotter than in the suit he'd worn to his cousin's wedding. His hair was still damp from the shower and he wasn't wearing his glasses.
He's so incredibly sexy. Wonder if he knows what he's doing to me. Jeez, Max, you're drooling.
He stopped in front of her and took her hand in his, smiling lovingly. Suddenly, the lights went out.
Great, brown out. Just what I needed. First dinner with Max since we stepped to the real and now a brown out.
"Welcome to Seattle," Max said sarcastically.
Logan sighed, "I really don't miss the brownouts."
"So what's on the menu now? And am I allowed to wear your bathrobe for the rest of the evening? 'Cause all my stuff is in your washing machine."
Well, if she's asking, me she doesn't need to wear anything, not even my bathrobe, but maybe that's not what she wants to hear. As for the brownout…there are things worse than that.
"Of course. I can also give you a T-shirt and some pants if you want to."
"Maybe later," she replied. "For now I'll stick with the robe. Want me to get the candles?"
Logan nodded. "There are some in the cupboard in the kitchen. I'm gonna get the ones from the sideboard here."
Only a short time later the living room was full of candles and their lights created a wonderful romantic atmosphere.
It's wonderful here, Max thought. Well, we've had brownouts before and we've been in his candle-lit apartment before too, but it's never been this romantic before. But maybe I've just always tried to ignore it really hard.
"Can we stay in here for dinner? Have a picnic in the living room?" Max asked. "I'm too lazy carry the candles to the dining table."
Dinner in the living room? Candle light dinner in the living room? That's a new. But I really like the candle light. And she seems to as well. Logan shrugged. "If you want to. But I can't cook dinner when the oven isn't working."
Max's stomach rumbled on command. "No, Logan you can't do that! I'm going to starve! Isn't there anything we can have?"
He laughed and nodded, "I'm gonna fix us some sandwiches. Stay there, I'll get the stuff together."
Logan wheeled back into the kitchen, turned off the oven and grabbed the plates and glasses to put on the table. Back in the living room he placed everything on the table and went back again to make the sandwiches. He put them all on a plate and returned with it and a bottle of wine to put them on the coffee table too. He then set his brakes and smiled to Max on the couch next to him. She sat on her right leg, the left one was pulled up to her chin. She looks like a child when she's sitting like that. And dinner in the living room is something I haven't done since my childhood either. Jeez, I love her. And I love her for making me do things. And I need her to make me do things. Be it skiing or dinner in the living room. She's just what I need.
He took the plates with the sandwiches and offered them wordlessly to Max. What's he doing? He's not honestly staying there, is he? She took one and waited for him to take one too, then, her suspicion of him not joining her on the couch confirmed, patted the seat next to her.
"You coming here?" she asked and scooted over to give him enough space.
Logan looked surprised. "Do you want me to?"
"No, I'm just asking because I'm hoping you're not coming," she said sarcastically. "Of course I want you to." Why does this surprise him so much? Yeah, I know, we've always sat here like this, me on the couch and him in his chair, but that doesn't mean that it's always got to be like this. Things have changed. WE have changed. "Please?" she added. "Besides, I can't hold your hand if you sit over there."
He released the brakes again, wheeled a little closer and transferred to the empty place next to Max. When he had positioned his legs in front of him, he asked with a smile, "Better?"
"Much," she replied and kissed him on the cheek before taking her plate and starting to eat. He watched her a little moment, munching her sandwich, before he started eating too.
"You know," she started, her mouth still full of bread, "I never understood why you prefer sitting in that chair to sitting on the couch."
Logan laughed at her question he was hardly able to understand because of all the bread. "I don't exactly prefer it. There was just never a reason for me to have it any other way."
Max swallowed and asked smiling, "But now there is a reason?"
"Yeah, of course. You asked me to."
For a long moment they just looked into each other's eyes before they remembered that they were supposed to be having dinner.
"Wine?" Logan asked to break the silence and filled their glasses.
Max nodded, grabbed another sandwich, and only minutes later, the plate was empty. She stood up and took the plates back in to the kitchen, ignoring Logan's comment about it being his task. When she came back, she sat next to him again, put her legs over his, and took her glass of wine. "You do the cooking, I do the cleaning up," she insisted. "I can manage at least that much."
"Yeah, you can," Logan nodded. "But not tonight. Not without electricity."
"Okay. So I'm going to stay here on the couch, that okay?"
For now or for the night? What's that supposed to mean? I don't want her to stay on the couch tonight and I really don't want her to go home…Well, there's a solution for that…
Grinning he said, "Well, you're not going home tonight, that's for sure. I don't want you to be out there during a brownout."
Max looked at him, smiling. "You're worried about me?"
"Of course I am. And I want you to stay here with me."
He's worried about me. That's so sweet. But of course I don't want to go home tonight. Brown out or no brown out.
She put her glass back on the coffee table and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I think that could be arranged. I didn't tell OC when we would be back, so she's not worried about me being out there."
"Great," Logan said, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her even closer.
When their faces were only inches apart, Max said softly, "But you're not making me sleep on the couch or in the guest bedroom, are you?"
"Not a snowflake's chance in hell," he answered equally quietly, then leaned in to close the distance between their faces.
"I could get used to this," Max told him. "You know, candle light, you serving me dinner in the living room… but I'm not exactly sure if I will ever get used to this…" Smiling one of her million-watt-smiles, she kissed him again.
God, Logan, if you only knew how much this means to me. And I've never been kissed like this before. I wish we could stay here forever. Or maybe…It's already quite late, so we could…
"What do you think about getting a little more comfortable?" she asked.
She's asking me to get comfortable? Is she really talking about us going to the bedroom?
"Yeah, don't waste all your candles during one brownout. 'Cause there'll be plenty more to come, I'm afraid."
That argument is incredibly silly, but I love it.
"Come on," Logan grinned, "You're not honestly concerned about my candle stock, are you?"
"Nah, not really. Just wanted to come back to your offer about wearing your T-shirt," she laughed, sparks in her eyes.
My T-shirt? Her arguments are getting weaker by the minute. She's already wearing my robe, so why should she be interested in my T-shirt?
He watched her climb from the couch and standing in front of him. "You're coming?" she asked.
Nodding, he reached for his wheelchair and transferred, then started blowing out all the candles, while Max went to the bathroom. When he got to the bedroom, she entered too, looking expectantly at him. "So, what do you have for me to wear?" she asked.
He opened the closet and pulled out two T-shirts. One was gray and the other one was blue. "Choose one," he said.
"Since I like it when you wear blue, I'm gonna take the gray one." She took the shirt and waited for him to make his stop in the bathroom so she could change without giving him the chance to see too much.
When he returned she was already lying in bed and had pulled the covers aside so that he could join her. Once he was lying next to her, he switched of the light and wrapped his arms tightly around her.
They didn't talk, there was no need for it. Just looking at each other was enough to reach an understanding.
Like the night before, back in the Cascades, their hands started to travel on the other one's back, up and down the arms and through the hair. But never more.
It didn't take long until Logan fell asleep.
Poor guy. But of course he had to do all the driving. He's so cute when he's sleeping. I could spend all night watching him sleep. Or I catch a little nap myself. I'm a little tired too. Maybe that's because of the seizures I had? Or maybe because I feel completely safe here. I don't know.
Yawning she turned around, spooning with Logan like she had done the night before and only a few minutes later she was asleep too.
When Max woke up, only a few hours had passed. Looks like I'm back to my regular sleeping patterns, she thought. The next thing she realized was that Logan's side of the bed was empty.
Stretching like a cat she got up and went looking for him, finally succeeding in the dark living room, where he was sitting in his chair in front of the window, staring out onto the city below, only clad in boxer briefs and a t-shirt.
"Hey," she said softly.
"Hey," Logan replied and turned his head to smile at her.
"Why aren't you sleeping? You okay?" she asked when she stepped next to him.
"Yeah, just thinking," he told her.
"About what?" she asked.
About you and me and I'm not sure I wanna talk about this, Logan thought. But maybe I'm just being stupid.
He took her hand and pulled her to his lap. Max pulled her legs underneath her and leaned her head against his shoulder. When Logan wrapped her arms around her, she asked again, "Thinking about what?"
"Lots of things. There are just lots of things in my head I need to understand."
"Like what?" she wanted to know, her question hardly more than a whisper.
Logan inhaled deeply. "I'm still trying very hard to understand that you're really here. Why you're here. Where we came from and where we're going. Those things."
"And what's so hard to understand about me being here? Are you still having some silly feelings of being unworthy and half a man?"
He shrugged. "Maybe." But then he thought, Is it really that I feel like that? Isn't it more like this is the regular feeling you have when you fall in love? That there are butterflies in your stomach and you're on cloud number nine, but on the other hand there's this feeling of it all being to good to be true? I haven't really been thinking about my legs all day. There have been so many things that were so much more important than walking or not walking. And even now that Max is sitting there…I'm not thinking that I can't feel her on my legs, I'm thinking about being close to her, about how good it feels to have her here. Like…
"Only maybe?" Max interrupted his thoughts, asking teasingly, "That's an improvement, isn't it?"
She turned her head so that she could face him and was surprised to see a wide smile on his face.
"Yeah, it is. And I lied. I wasn't thinking about that. Do you remember what I told you down at the beach, the first day I went for a walk after the transfusion made me walk again?"
"Dinner at eight?" she teased, but then remembered what else he'd said. "Yeah, I do."
That IS an improvement, if I remember correctly what he told me. And thanks to Manticore, I never remember everything not correctly. So we have come a long way. And here we are. I'm not out on the Space Needle but here in Logan's apartment, on his lap, watching the same city I watch almost every night. And still...it's different. And I think he's right.
"So you're feeling the same way right now?" she asked.
Logan wrapped his arms around her even tighter and hid his face in her curls.
"Yeah. Like anything and everything is possible."
Some last (un-betaed) A/Ns:
Princess – I hope that wasn't too much "Prince
MsTipTop – I was sure nobody had read "Space Needle Thoughts" or at least wouldn't remember it, thanks for proving the opposite, even though I disagree with Logan being a nicer person when he's walking,
Jayme – hope that was enough Chris and enough M/L cuteness
Alaidh – sorry, no action, but thanks for the nitpick and the spellcheck
a fan – you are right about Logan's reaction to Chris in the chair, thanks for pointing it out. And about Logan needing a lesson… actually, I don't have the slightest idea of how mono-skiing really works, so for this fic we'll have to live with it.
Jade-Angel – guess I pulled it off, huh?
Misty – I guess that really depends on the person and the injury, so for this fic I'll go with this peeing version, okay? And no getting busy.
Ann – not too much about the Chris/ Logan convo, sorry
a reader – I know what fic you're talking about and I'm really ambivalent about it. I don't think Max is obsessed with wheelchairs, like in that other fic, and if it sounded like that, it's not what I wanted to say. I think Max is obsessed with Logan :-)
DarkBlaze: Thanks for the review and the spellcheck