Notes: I want to thank everybody that has been reading this story, especially those that have reviewed it for me. I hope that you liked it, because I really enjoyed writing it. By the way, this was written before Kevin had all his hair chopped off.
It only took a few moments after the slamming of the door for me to start panicking. What kind of an idiot was I to allow Nathan to leave like that? I knew that I told him to leave, but I was highly pissed off. I wanted him to come back now. I loved Nathan, and I was afraid that he would never return, and I would lose another love. I could think of only one thing to do, so I picked up the phone and dialed a very familiar number to San Antonio.
Hunter answered the phone, and when I begged to talk to Shawn he claimed that his lover wasn't there, although I could've sworn that I heard Shawn yelling in the background. I decided to tell Hunter about the fight I had with Nathan, how he left, and that I needed to know how to fix the horrible mess I had created.
Shawn and Hunter have been together for such a long time that apparently Shawn's counseling skills are rubbing off onto Hunter. He did a fantastic job of calming me down, asking the right questions until I gave the right answers, and letting me figure out what I had to do. After two hours and countless tears, I hung up the phone knowing exactly what needed to be done.
Cody followed me as I walked toward the steps to get my car keys from my room. I told the puppy that I had to fix the mess with Nathan so that we could all be happy again. Cody was listening intently until we got to the last step and the doorbell rang. The sound sent Cody scampering back down the steps, barking at the front door. The sound sent me downstairs, too, already mad at whoever it was for delaying my very important talk with Nathan.
When I opened the door I was very surprised to find Nathan looking back at me. I wondered what he was doing there, why he would possibly want to be in the same state with me, let alone the same house.
I don't care if you want to or not, but we need to talk, he said quietly.
I said and stepped aside so he could enter the house.
We both walked silently into the living room. We sat on opposite sides of the couch, but looked at the floor rather than each other. Cody sat down on the floor between us, looking ready to play referee if we were going to have a repeat of the earlier argument.
Nathan spoke first, I understand that you still love Scott, and I would never ask you to stop loving him. You will love him for the rest of your life, and I can live with that. What I can't live with is feeling like I'm being compared to him, and that I somehow have to be better than him.
I took a deep breath before I replied, I did compare you to him when we first got together, but then I learned that there really is no comparison. There were a million better things about Scott, but there are also a million things that make you better. You are so different from Scott, but I still love you, Nathan.
I love you, too, Kevin, he said and I smiled for the first time all day. He returned my smile with one of his own, and I think my heart might have skipped a beat or two when I caught sight of his eyes twinkling.
So, we've established that you love Scott, you love me, and I love you. And that's all good. Now, what about your moving on? Nathan said.
You've got to understand that I am moving on. It's an extremely slow process, but I'm doing it. This time last year I really only left the house to go to the store. But now I love you and all kinds of stuff, I explained.
I know that stuff, Kevin. I also know that I've helped you a lot with moving on.
You have, and I thank you. God knows I'd probably still be sitting on my ass crying myself to death every single day if I hadn't met Nathan.
Don't thank me, he said, as if putting up with my extreme mood swings when I'm missing Scott is an easy thing to do. I just want you to let me help more. Just one thing at a time, we'll adjust them so that not everything revolves around Scott.
That sounds like a good plan, but where are we going to begin? I wanted to start with something easy.
he thought for a moment, I'm really sick of lasagna. Nathan was referring to the fact that I always cooked Scott's favorite meal, lasagna, when his favorite hockey team, the Los Angeles Kings, won a game.
I have to agree, I smiled. The Kings are winning too many games this season.
What would happen if they went all the way and won the Stanley Cup?
We'd die from an overdose on lasagna, I said, causing Nathan to laugh.
I don't want that in my obituary, he joked as his blue eyes twinkled.
Where'd you go after you left my house earlier? I suddenly asked. He hadn't been gone long enough to go to his house and come back. I was curious about what he had done, because I had just noticed that the twinkling blue parts of his eyes were surrounded by a slight redness. Had Nathan been crying?
I drove down to the park and sat in my car, he said quietly.
It was a long time, I said.
It's even longer when you're on the phone with Shawn.
You called Shawn?
Nathan nodded and I asked, What in the world did you do that for?
I figured that he'd help me sort out the mess we made, and tell me what to do. Of course, that was after he yelled and cursed me for hurting your feelings, Nathan admitted.
That explains the noises I heard when I was talking to Hunter, I said.
I think that Shawn thinks my name is Stupid Fucking Insensitive Bastard,' he said with a smile.
Poor Nathan, I said and moved across the couch so I was sitting next to him. He put his arm around me, and I laid my head on his shoulder.
So, we're all made up now? Nathan asked.
I said and suddenly thought of something. Stay here, I said and quickly got off the couch.
What are you doing?
You'll find out, I told him as I started up the stairs to my study.
I returned a few minutes later with something in my hand. I stood at the edge of the living room for a moment, looking around. Once I found what I was looking for, I walked over to the fireplace. I picked up an old picture of Scott and me. When I returned the frame to the mantle, there was a new picture. I stepped to the side so Nathan could see it from his seat on the couch.
he said as he stood up and came to get a closer look. The picture was one that somebody else had taken, probably Shawn, of Nathan and me standing outside with our arms around each other and the sun shining around us. God, I love you so much, he said, understanding what it meant for me to do that.
I love you, too, I said, putting my arms around Nathan's waist. I pulled him closer so that I could kiss him. We shared a deep, passionate kiss that had our tongues competing for dominance, and left us both struggling to breathe when we finally parted.
After quickly filling our lungs with more oxygen, Nathan captured my lips with his own and we returned to our fervent kissing. Slowly my lips drifted away from Nathan's and found their way to his neck, while my hands slipped under his shirt and wandered up his chest. My actions were causing Nathan to moan with pleasure, and both of us were obviously aroused.
Suddenly, Nathan placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back a step, so I could clearly see his blue eyes, dark with lust. Are you sure about this? he asked, both of us knowing exactly where we were headed.
I pulled Nathan against me again, grinding my hips against his, and said, Does this feel ready? Nathan got the message and started ravishing me with his mouth, and we stumbled up the stairs to my bedroom, loosing various articles of clothing along the way.
The next morning I woke up from a very peaceful sleep to find my arms locked around Nathan. Waking up next to the man I love made me feel like the luckiest person alive. I laid there smiling and watching him sleep, until I suddenly heard Cody barking by the front door, begging to go on a walk. I got out of bed, careful not to disturb Nathan, and threw on some clothes. I walked Cody and told him how perfect everything was right then. He seemed to agree with me, too.
A few months later Nathan and I are carrying heavy boxes, full of his belongings, from our cars to my house. The sky looks like it's about to open and drench us with an April shower. I'm beginning to wish that I had taken Shawn and Hunter up on their offer to help us, because it would get down much quicker. It would also help if we weren't tripping over Cody, who thinks that he's helping.
Nathan and I started talking about moving in together after I spent a couple weeks flipping out about having sex with Nathan while I love Scott. We fought about which house to move into for quite some time. Eventually, Nathan decided that he didn't want Cody to have to get accustomed to a new place, so he's moving into my house.
We also decided that I shouldn't go on the road with Nathan all the time, because Cody needs someone at home with him. However, I was at just a few weeks ago to watch Sean win the WWE Championship in the main event. Sean is one of the biggest superstars in the company now, and we're all extremely proud of him.
Shawn and Hunter are doing real well, too. They still counsel Nathan and me when we fight, and Shawn thinks that he should be paid for it. Shawn needs another source of income because he's going to be retiring again next month. Hunter now affectionately calls his lover a which only results in Shawn giving him dirty looks and muttering mean names.
Nathan and I get the last box in the house just as the rain comes pouring down. Unfortunately, all the windows on my car are open and I make Nathan run out and close them, because I don't want my hair to get all frizzy and ruined. When Nathan comes back inside, he's soaked with raindrops running down his face and his clothes sticking to him. He looks absolutely beautiful despite the fact that he's tracked mud on the floor, so I lean down to kiss him.
I think we need to get you out of these wet clothes, I say as I start to peel off his shirt.
He looks at me with those twinkling blue eyes that are rapidly turning dark with lust. I love you, Kevin.
I love you, too, I say before he reaches up for our next kiss.