So, you decided to read this? Let's hope you don't leave halfway through. Oh and before I start I wanted to say that it would be very much appreciated if you left a review. Or not. I don't know. Alright, let's start this abomination.
It was the start of August. England was looking as sunny as ever. In a small house, a boy with straight brown hair and a green hoodie sat on a couch and watched TV. He skipped through the channels, looking for something that would be interesting. Another shorter boy walked in the room, with a flask in his hand. He had spiky brown hair, wore a blue hoodie, and had no eyes.
He sat beside the other. "So, Edd is there anything on?" he asked. "Nope." replied Edd, still skipping channels. He stopped to sip some of his cola. "Hey Tom?" he said. "Yeah?" answered Tom. "Where's Matt?" Tom shrugged. "He's probably looking at himself in the mirror again."
He turned his head at the sound of the fridge door opening. "Nevermind." A boy with ginger hair and a square chin was looking through the fridge, moving and shuffling things. He wore a purple hoodie with a green overcoat. "Aha!" said Matt, finally finding his food. He took out a mini gingerbread man bag. He sat next to his friends, munching on gingerbread.
Edd laughed. "A ginger eating gingerbread!" Matt turned to him confused. "My hair's not ginger! It's strawberry blonde!" Tom drank from his flask. "That doesn't even make sense." Suddenly, a meow was heard from the corner of the room. "What is it, Ringo?" asked Edd, looking at his cat. They all got shocked as soon as they saw Ringo hiss at a smaller figure. "RAT!" screeched Matt.
The three curled up on the couch as the cat chased the rat. "Wait a minute," said Tom. "Does that rat have a cola can?" Edd's eyes widened as he realized his can was gone. "We have to catch that cola stealing thief!" he shouted, as he got up. Soon, Ringo and her owner chased the rat out the door.
Matt began munching on his gingerbread man. "Dear god!" A squeaky voice was heard from the bag. "He took Benny!" The ginger haired boy looked into the bag, and suddenly, all the gingerbread men were shuffling and moving around. Matt was speechless. "T-Tom… I think the gingerbread men are alive!" Tom leaned over the bag. "That or I just drank too much."
The fridge door slowly opened. A burger jumped down. Tom looked confused. "Why would we put a burger in a fridge?" The burger hopped around until he reached the kitchen's counter and he opened the cupboards. A jar of gummy bears came rolling towards the burger, which opened the jar, letting all the bears out. Matt couldn't believe his eyes. "This is unbearable!" he cried.
Finally, Edd and his cat came back. "What's going on here?" he asked, confused. He then noticed food running everywhere in the room. Out of nowhere, a cola can hopped towards Edd. "Cola!" He grabbed the can and then dropped it. "It has a face!" he shouted. Matt dropped his gingerman bag as well. On the other hand, Tom was eating from a bag of chips.
"Tom!" exclaimed Edd.
"Hm?" mumbled the other.
"You need to stop eating food with faces!"
"But Matt eats gingerbread men!"
"Well, he stopped!"
"But they always have faces."
"Um," said Edd, thinking of an excuse. Fortunately, something interrupted the argument. The cola can hopped around, annoyed. "Hey! Don't ignore me!" Edd picked the can up. "What's wrong?" The can became sad. "My other cola friends were captured!" The boy's eyes widened. "Where?!" The cola can shed a tear. "In the basement!"
Edd turned to his friends with determination in his eyes. "We have to save his friends!" Tom groaned. "Is Smirnoff captured too?" The cola can nodded. "And milk?" asked Matt. The can nodded again. "Fine," said Tom. "We'll help."
The three were soon followed by massive groups of sweets and snacks. They reached the basement door. It was dark, but Tom brang a match to illuminate their way. Matt looked nervous. "So," said Edd. "Who exactly captured the cola?"
The cola can smirked. "ME!" Behind them, a group of bacon pushed them into a cage, with a lot of wrapped up cola. Matt screamed. "Are we really being captured? Oh, dear!" he said, covering his face while shaking. Edd couldn't believe this. "Wait! You're not cola!" he said, realizing. "You're diet coke!" The diet coke can laughed. "Yes! I captured all the regular cola, and now that I captured you, you'll never stop me from forcing everyone to obey diet coke! MUAHAHAHAHA!"
The food left the room. Matt was shaking in a corner. Edd was devastated. Two pieces of bacon were guarding the cell. Tom chuckled, as he got an idea. He slowly hovered his burning match on the bacon, as it slowly got roasted. "That's genius!" exclaimed Edd. While Tom was munching on the now roasted bacon, Edd slowly pushed the door. "A-Are we saved?" stuttered Matt, peeking through his hands.
The three walked out the cell. "Good job, Tom!" said Edd. They looked back at the imprisoned cola. "Wasn't there milk we had to save too? asked Matt. Tom looked around. "Yeah! Where's the booze?" Edd sighed. "This fight isn't for those drinks. It's for Cola, the best soda in the entire universe!" exclaimed Edd. "Do we have to make a Food Fight?" asked the boy in the purple hoodie. "No, Matt," said Edd. "This is a Food War!"
Edd, Tom, and Matt stepped out the basement door, with the most powerful weapons. A knife, a fork, and a spoon.
"Okay guys, we ready?" started Tom. "Are we ready, guys? Guys, are we ready? ARE WE READY?!"
"YEAH WE'RE READY!" shouted Edd.
"Wait didn't we have this conversation before?" asked Matt.
"Yeah we did." answered Edd. "Okay," he continued. "It's now or never! Time to avenge Cola!" The three dashed with their weapons and started attacking the food. Tom slashed a lemon in half, the halves jumping right into his eye sockets. Matt attacked flying pizza slices, which he bit from each time they came close. Edd passed a bowl of cereal to Matt, which he drank from in an instant. Suddenly, a cup of tea crashed into Edd. He spilled it on the ground, but then was attacked by a bottle of alcohol. He threw it right to Tom, which drank it in a blink of an eye.
The now drunk Tom ran around the house, on a food killing rampage. Now, it was only the Diet Coke and them. Matt looked at the can. "What do we do with it now?" Before Edd could say a word, Tom snatched the can and threw it out the window, in their neighbours' yard.
The three finally got rid of the evil army of food. "Oh, I missed my 'staring at myself in a mirror' hour! said Matt, as he ran upstairs. Suddenly, Edd and Tom saw him slip on some cheese. The two laughed. "What a cheesy ending!"
Well, that's the end of this chapter. This chapter was inspired by my 2 minute older sister's idea of the name 'Snackattack!' and my 2 minute younger sister's animation of an evil diet coke can. As you can see, I made a lot of references from past Eddisodes. I hope you got them! Anyway, I can't wait to see if I get any reviews on this. Okay, have a nice day!