Instant Karma
by Kayla and Jess

Disclaimer: These boys don't belong to us, we just take them out to play. You can't have our original characters, though!

Warning: Near the end, bad, painful things happen. But no one dies. Well, at least not on-screen. ::smirk::


Xander stretched long and hard, letting his muscles ripple under his tank top. "You do that just because I think you look sexy, don't you?" the vampire in his bed complained. Xander turned to Spike and grinned. "Oh yeah, definitely do it 'cause I'm watching."

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not, whatcha gonna do about it?" Xander laughed slightly. Spike growled playfully and launched from the bed. Xander easily got out of the way before Spike caught him. He leapt onto the couch, pulled down the bottom of his eye, and stuck his tongue out at his lover.

Spike smirked and went around the couch to grab Xander around the waist. Xander let out a laugh as Spike brushed his fingers against a particularly ticklish rib. The squirming caused Spike to fall to the floor and the warmth almost wriggled away. "Come back here you," Spike growled and dragged the boy back into his arms. He flipped them so that Spike was on top and Xander was grinning up at him.

Spike leaned down and inhaled the sharp scent of biting arousal. He leaned down and began to suckle on the pulsing jugular vein. His fangs itched to slice into that vein and he would have if not for someone at the damn door. He looked up and glared at the door.

"Better answer it," but Xander didn't sound like he enjoyed that idea. Spike snorted, almost blowing steam, as he rose and stalked to the door. He jerked it opened, prepared to snarl, and just stared.

"...Angel?"


Angel looked up as he heard the phone ring incessantly. "Cordy?" he called. "Are you going to get that?"

There was no answer, and he sighed heavily. With a snarl of frustration, he stood and stomped over to the phone. "Angel Investigations; we-"

"It's time."

Angel frowned. "Excuse me?"

"It's time, Angelus. My son is of age; the contract we made is binding, and the time has come to fulfill it."

Stunned, Angel groped for a chair, sitting down in shock. "Zakari?" he gasped out.

A deep chuckle greeted that astounded exclamation. "Ah, you haven't forgotten me. Good."

"You're not exactly...forgettable. And it's Angel now."

"Yes, I heard about that. Pesky business, sticking a vampire with a soul. Some people just don't know how to leave well enough alone."

With a wry snort, Angel replied, "I've gotten used to it."

"Hmm. I'm sure. But we've gotten off track, old friend. You must ready your Childe, Angelus. He has until the next full moon to prepare."

"But-"

There was a growl, one fierce enough to make even a master vampire quake. "Are you trying to renege on our agreement?"

"No! Of course not!" Angel protested, swallowing hard. "It's just...I never exactly told him about..."

"Well then, I suggest you rectify that. Oh, and Angelus?"

"Y-Yes?"

"See you next month." There was a bark of laughter, then the line disconnected.

Angel stared at the phone blankly, hanging up only when it started to emit an annoying beeping. He stood then, and walked rather dazedly to his room, where he began to pack.


Spike stared at his Sire, felt Xander coming up against his back. "Spike." Angel said, "Can I come in?"

"Why?" Xander asked, looking a little weary.

"I just...really need to talk to Spike. It's really important."

"Okay, come in, Angel," Xander and Spike stepped back. "Buffy know you're in town?"

"No, I didn't get a chance to tell her, there was no time. Spike, you might want to sit down. You too, Xander." Angel waited until they had both listened to him and he took a deep breath. "Spike, you're going to be getting married."

"WHAT?" It was a mix of outrage, shock, and pleading.

Angel winced, "I'm sorry, but it was arranged awhile ago. It was when I was hitting hard times..." Angel sighed, running a hand through his hair. Spike couldn't remove the shocked expression from his face as he looked to Xander. The expression on Xander's face broke his heart; his entire being seemed to tremble and he had a lost puppy dog look in his eyes.

"You...you...he can't-" Xander turned to Spike, lip trembling. "He can't make you get married...can he?" he asked in a pleading whisper.

A hard glint appeared in Spike's eyes. "Not bloody likely!" Arms crossed over his chest, he glared at Angel. "Bugger off, wanker. You upset my Xanny...I don't like you!"

Eyes narrowed, Angel loomed over his Childe. "I am still your Sire, Spike. You will do as I tell you!"

Snarling, Spike shot up out of his seat. "Yeah, well I don't have to if you're dead, now do I?" he hissed angrily, baring his fangs at the other vampire. "Chip won't do a soddin' thing to stop me, 'cause you're not human!" He leapt, tackling Angel to the floor. "You fuckin' tosser, I'm not lettin' anyone take me away from Xander! Especially not 'cause you used me to pay off some debt. You don't own me!"

Struggling underneath the enraged vampire, Angel managed to roll them over, using his larger frame to pin Spike to the floor. "Spike! Listen to me! It wasn't like that." He struggled to find a way to explain the situation so Spike would feel a bit less, well, homicidal.

"Get out, Deadboy."

Angel looked up, receiving yet another shock. Xander stood above him, stake in hand, bloodthirsty statement in his eyes. "Xander? Now, just calm down. I-"

"Calm down? You want me to calm down?" Xander shoved Angel off of his lover, helping Spike stand up again. "You come in here, threaten Spike, and try to drag him off to get married to some...I don't even know what!...and you expect me to fucking well calm down!"

"Well, yes actually I do considering we're friends!"

"Deadboy, I don't think we were ever friends, just get out before I turn Spike loose again." Xander glared at the elder vampire before turning back to Spike. Angel sighed and left. As he got out the apartment, he gazed up and could see them through the window.

Spike had his arms wrapped around Xander's waist while Xander tried to smooth out the vampire visage. Angel sighed; this was just going to make things even harder.


"Angel!" Buffy gasped in surprise when the vampire showed up at Giles' door. "Is the world in trouble?"

"It might be," Angel waved her away. "I need your guys' help..."

"What is it? Of course we'll help." Giles commented, polishing his glasses.

Angel took an unneeded breath, "I need you to help me convince Spike to marry a...friend of mine's son." And he was met with dead silence.


"Spike? He's gone. You ok?"

Spike struggle to regain control of himself, collapsing into Xander's embrace. "God, pet. I just can't fuckin' believe it!"

"What was he talking about, Spike? About you getting married?"

Spike shrugged listlessly. "Dunno. He never said anything about it before. You know, before the soul." He glanced up into Xander's eyes a bit fearfully. "Luv? He...he's m'Sire. He can...he can force me to...do what he tells me to."

Xander growled softly. "Not while I'm alive, he can't!"

Spike tore out of his arms. "You don't understand!" he shouted. "He's my Sire! There was a time when he could have told me to take a walk in the sun, and I'd have bloody done it!"

Xander went after him, grabbing the vampire and wrapping his arms around him securely. "Not anymore," he stated firmly. "He won't take you from me, by God. I swear!"

Spike tilted his head up, smiling sadly. "Not much you can really do 'bout it, if the pouf's got his mind set."

Something flickered in Xander's eyes. "We'll see about that."


"E-Excuse me?" Giles replaced his glasses, coughing nervously. "Why in the world would you want Spike to marry anyone?"

"Ew, yeah. I mean, gross!" Buffy shuddered dramatically. "I mean, if someone married the bleached wonder, they'd have to actually sleep with him. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!"

Giles waved her back, and Buffy pouted, but reluctantly sat down. "Angel. Come in." He closed the door, waiting until Angel had made himself comfortable. "Now, would you care to explain exactly why Spike needs to get...married?"

"Yeah, and why we should help," Buffy piped in, unable to hold her tongue.

Angel leaned back, "I was having rough times and I met this really old vampire...He helped me out and I said I would do anything to pay him back." He ran a hand through his hair, "Turns out he had a son; not a legal son or anything but...one he bonded to. He asked for one of my Childer to become his concubine, or consort...Penn was too cruel and Dru was too insane."

"And Spike was the one left!" Willow piped up happily, then looked kind of nauseated. "Oh...When would anyone think of Spike as the nicest or sanest? No offense, Angel, 'cause they're all really nice except for the...homicidal tendencies and the drinking of blood..."

"Why should we help?" Buffy asked again, twirling a gold lock of hair, "I mean...he's the Blond Blunder and he should duke it out with the other vamp."

"You don't understand, my friend is...hundreds of years old. Maybe thousands, older than the master. If he isn't happy, he can do damage. And...with the way he bragged about his son, he'd do anything for him."

"Angel?" Buffy frowned, looking confused. "Are you...afraid of this guy?" Her face hardened. "If he's evil, we can kill him."

"No!" Angel backed up a step, throwing a hand up as if to ward her off. "No," he repeated more calmly. "That would not be a good idea."

Rolling her eyes, Buffy slouched down in her chair. "Whatever." A thought struck her suddenly. "Woah, wait a sec. His son? And...Spike? They're both guys?" Buffy mimed puking, finger down her throat. "Oh, gross! I so did not need that mental image!"

"Buffy, do grow up a bit." Giles gave her a quelling look, and she subsided. Then Giles looked back at Angel. "That is a point, though. Seriously, does this...gentleman...know about Spike? Perhaps he wouldn't want his son to be wed to him."

"Oh, he knows. He probably knows just about everything there is to know."

Buffy clapped her hands, brightening "Hey, if this guy's so powerful, and his son is too, maybe he'll end up killing Spike, and we won't have him bugging us anymore." She smiled delightedly, relishing the thought of a Spikeless existence.

"Um, no," Angel shook his head. "His son isn't a vampire or really aggressive demon. He's a Waremonochuui Akuma; Fragile Demon," he translated.

Buffy furrowed her brow, "Then we kill his son."

"That would be ten times as bad." Angel broke in, eyes wide, "He loves his son more than his own life, they're bonded as family. We kill the son, the father will murder us all. At least if I refuse to let his son marry Spike, he'll probably just kill me."

"Well we aren't going to let that happen!" Buffy said fiercely. She hadn't been upset at the threat of the end of the world, oh no, but at the threat to her ex-boy toy's life. "We'll...go to his son and ask him to talk with daddy! Who's the son?"

"...I don't know."

"You know the guy and you never asked his son's name?" Giles looked shocked.

"It wasn't as if he invited me over for a cup of tea, Giles," Angel ground out.

"Well, I don't see why not," Giles muttered under his breath. In a louder voice, he added, "If you don't know who it is you're trying to foist your Childe off on, how are you going to convince Spike to go along with this?"

Angel groaned loudly, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. "I don't know! Why do you think I'm here?"

Buffy stood, tossing her hair. "Well, if there's not gonna be any slayage involved, you can count me out. I have better thing to do with my time than try to set Spike up." She gave another shudder at the mental image of Spike and a guy...hell, Spike and anyone! Then, grabbing up her bag of weapons, she flounced out.

The others watched her go. Shaking his head slightly, Angel shot Giles a pleading look. "Giles...please. I don't...I don't think I can do this on my own."

Giles hesitated. Glancing over at the witches, he saw them making shooing motions at the vampire. Taking the hint, he gave Angel a sharp nod. "Very well, we'll see what we can possibly come up with."

Angel sighed in relief. "Thanks. Really, thanks."

When Angel remained standing where he was, Giles cleared his throat. "Yes, well, we're going to need to do a bit of research." He blinked, staring meaningfully at Angel.

"Oh. Right." Angel backed to the door, leaving hastily.

Once he was sure the vampire had gone, Giles turned to Willow and Tara, quirking an eyebrow. "Well? What have your devious little minds come up with?"

Willow grinned. "He said Spike is engaged to one of the Waremonochuui Akuma. You don't think it could be..." she trailed off suggestively.

"There's no call to be making assumptions like that." Giles admonished with a frown. "If it was our place to know these things, I'm sure someone would have told us."

Willow nodded wisely. "Of course. But it'd be really big coincidence, you have to admit."

Tara grinned. "Besides, even if it were...you know..., we'd still have to figure out how to get Spike to marry him."

"She has a point. So I suggest we get busy."


Continued at my site kaylafic(dot)livejournal(dot)com because of upcoming NC-17 activities.